Date: August 31 2023 3:33 PM Title: Ch 2. Hunting and Killing
Another solid chapter. I'm glad to see Lanz and Miriam working together, even if they aren't yet cooperating.
You're doing a great job of fleshing out these characters, though every development with Lanz seems to prompt a new question, or redorect an existing one. I'm more than happy to have this strung along, but I'm craving answers, especially where Lanz's scars are concerned. The one that might well be a slit throat or rope burn from a noose/garotte, and the one that could be from an autopsy / open chest proceedure are the most eye catching and intriguing, but the fact that they are far from his only scars suggests one HELL of a backstory.
I also have to comment on and approve of just how badly Lanz has caught the Horny. I look forward to the Horny landing him in increasingly boneheaded or compromising situations.
I didn't see quite as much from Miriam that I didn't see previously, though I'm disapponted that she knowingly and drastically misinterpreted the conditions of the bet. *raises index finger* Bad girl. You've been naughty, and should definitely be punished.
Ahem. Where was I? Oh, right.
You approached exposure to their respective cultures in a very interesting way. Propoganda is a very telling signal of where a society is at, and where it is heading. Learning that the tinies are culturally focused on inprovement, but weighed down by corruption adds a fair bit of context to their side of the war. The bigger society seems more emotionally driven, if the propoganda is spewing hate. It's also interesting to see one side terrified of the other, while from the opposite side of the battle lines, the opposition is seen as a nuisance well worth stomping out before they become a bigger problem.
Your pacing is great so far, and I'm looking forward to your next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thank you! I feel a bit like a sadist, but I'll be stringing you along for a bit. While details will come to the surface throughout the narrative, it'll be a hot minute before all the questions regarding Lanz are truly answered.
I'm glad you approve of the Horny. Lanz may be stoic and battle-hardened, but he's still a person with needs and urges (also it's a convenient device for getting more smut in this smut).
And Miriam was totally justified! It's a very reasonable misunderstanding to make, especially when she's so used to seeing him at her feet lol. Lanz should have been more specific! (I definitely don't have a boot weighing down on me as I type this)
I had fun coming up with the propaganda stuff, and I hope to continue delving deeper into each soldier's culture as they develop.
Keeping the pacing at the perfect speed is my biggest nightmare writing this story, considering how important character development is to it, so it makes me happy to know I'm handling it well so far. I think I've got it down for future chapters, but it's the big worry eating away at me at the moment. Thanks!
Date: August 27 2023 11:41 AM Title: Ch 2. Hunting and Killing
Just wanted to drop in to let you know how much I’m enjoying this story so far! I love the enemies-turned-friends/lovers trope and you write it so well! It’s really neat how you’ve fleshed out both Lanz and Miriam’s backstories a bit and how different their lives have been on opposite sides of the war. I’m so eager to see how their relationship develops but the ending of chap 2 has left me with so many questions! I wonder what secrets Lanz is hiding with his scar- my first thought was that his body has been enhanced somehow to withstand being attacked by a big (like super durability or strength) but seems a bit far fetched ^^’ Guess I’ll just have to wait and see!
Author's Response:
Thank you. The protags' pasts will continue to be expanded upon as the story goes on and will play into their developing relationship. Regarding Lanz, my aim with this chapter is to get readers asking themselves questions about him. All will be revealed in due time :)