Date: February 06 2012 3:36 PM Title: Two Wrongs
Hey I like your story a lot. Thanks for contributing. I especially like the foot related parts!
[Report This]Date: February 03 2012 11:54 AM Title: Two Wrongs
Great story as of now. I just wish that there was more foot/toe play but thats just me.
aaron
Author's Response:
Sorry, no more foot play in the story. There's talk of it, but it's more just background information.
Date: January 13 2012 9:25 PM Title: The New Law
very nice chapter. I look forward to more great installments. Nicole is a very appealing character. keep up the good work.
Date: January 11 2012 8:01 AM Title: The New Law
Amazing in every way, I look forward to reading more from you. Both in this story and the others that you hopefully plan to write.
[Report This]Date: January 11 2012 12:44 AM Title: Late for School
this is a great story. Cant wait to see more
[Report This]Date: January 10 2012 11:56 PM Title: The New Law
I love this story and am engaged in the plot. As a fan of female feet, I appreciated the casual references to feet some of the characters threw out. I also like your penchant for being descriptive. I find scenes in which a tiny person is forced to smell a woman's feet, especially someone that they're close to, is deeply degrading. I don't know if you are a fan of eventually having main characters (tiny ones) be done away with at the feet (insert body part of your choice), but I hope the stepbrother is eventually done away with in something foot related, but unique. I'm a broken record but have often thought about the realism behind a tiny person being kept scrunched under a girl's toes or inside her sock until they suffer brain damage or something. That's probably too dark, but I'm a sick person! Please post your preexisting chapters asap! Thanks for a great story so far.
[Report This]Date: January 10 2012 9:20 PM Title: Late for School
this story is already great man!
[Report This]Date: January 09 2012 4:24 PM Title: The New Law
Don't let that guy throw off from writing this. Characters need to remain fresh, so it's important to keep writing as often as possible. Part of that derives from me being a fan of the story and eager to read more, but I also consider it sound advice.
This is one of only a few stories I refresh the 'most recent' tab for every day. As for realism? Currently, shrinking human beings is sheer fantasy. Since this is an epidemic that can't be explained, you get to set the rules of the situation. If you want to say that their molecules are closer together and it somehow makes them less vulnerable, then that's how it is. You don't owe anyone an explanation either. I have yet to question the 'realism' of this story. I just clicked on reviews to show support.
Awesome read so far. Please continue. :)
Author's Response:
Don't worry, no one can ever really throw me off from writing a story. Usually by the time I start posting it, I already have several chapters completed and an outline for the end of the story. So, it's pretty much impossible to throw me off, or for people to get me to write the story a certain way, because by the time the first chapter is posted it's already too late. The story is too near completion to take in the thoughts of others. I just like to argue against them, or warn them of what's to come. If they don't like it, they can read something else. After all, I write GTS fiction mainly for myself. If other people enjoy it, I'm excited to hear it, but if they don't, then that means I just don't write in the style they like, which is okay too. After all, I am writing for free over here, so I don't need to keep my audience in mind like a professional writer.
I do enjoy people's critiques though, and if I agree with something or want to try a suggestion they make, I may include it for a later story. So I hope everyone doesn't feel discouraged to make critiques just because they likely can't affect the story I'm currently writing, because your words may inspire a future work of mine.
Date: January 07 2012 6:51 AM Title: Amongst Friends
You said this:
Don't worry, I don't think I have any TOO unbelieveable situations coming up, but then again, a disease that shrinks the entire male species is pretty outlandish, and I doubt most guys would typically get caught in situations that these tiny men are going to be getting in. I try to make my stories seem as real as possible which is why I put so much description into them and give characters reasoning for their choices, but no one has any idea what the limits of a shrunken man truly would be, so it's hard to say what's realistic and what's not. I actually just read a scientific article talking about this matter, and it had some interesting theories, like a man falling from a table would be perfectly fine because even though he seems like's miles high, he's only a few feet off the ground. My guess is what worried you was the whole "dad being in a shoe all day" thing, am I right? I can already tell you I've outlined 12 chapters and none have to do with tiny guys being stepped on all day, which in all fairness, would likely kill them. Do you have any other unrealistic concerns though?
The problem with your line of thought is this:
If you follow the lead of your article and make these guys virtually indestructible then yes you will lose the plausibility factor. Which should never be lost even in lieu of the circumstances that brought this major event about.
The best stories get away from what caused the shrinking as quickly as possible so that realism can enter back into the frey.
Following your present line of reasoning, you might want to go on and make them able to breath under water, or sit in a fire all night long. Or have the power to fly. There'd be no real difference and your story would quickly become boring.
Also, there is nothing wrong with fatalities occuring. This makes your shrunken characters flesh and bones again.. Not miniature Supermen who'd be better off in a super hero comic.
These are serious things to consider.
So yes, I do have concerns that you are about to destroy your story in unrealism. Never forget, that the realistic stories are always the best ones because they quickly bury the shrinking process and refocus the reader on the hardships that such scenarios woud incur. If you bog yourself down on scientific theories you will doom this story on abstractions that need not interfere.
Author's Response:
Well, there's no crushing, throwing little men in fire, or breathing underwater. There's only one part in the story from hear on out you might have a problem with, and it's in the very last chapter, but even that is something I think you should be fine with because I don't describe it as it's happening, just that it is GOING to happen.
Oh, and I hate fatalities. I think they're morbid and it makes me feel like the writer has a death wish. I only do it if I think it's a good way to end a story, like in my story Tutoring, and there I didn't even describe the death. I also hate fatalities because a core of my stories is the relationship between the shrunken man and the giantess, not the multiple shrunken men she murders that don't have nearly as fleshed out relationships with the girl.
As for the arguement of realism being a core concept of a good story, that's strictly opinion. I know what you're talking about by making them superheo like. I personally can't stand stories where the shrunken character becomes flattened and reinflates, but that's that writer's fantasy, to be crushed over and over, but not be killed. To me that's too unbelievable, but it's mainly because they add a superhero component to it. Stories that talk about being sat on, but not actually flattening, yet still feeling pain I can buy. Most likely the tiny guy would die, but as long as they don't make it seem crazy, I'm okay with it. But again, crushing isn't my thing. I think it's neccessary to look past realism, not completely, but enough to give it wiggle room and enjoy the fetish more. For example, if we didn't write anything that wasn't realistic, we couldn't have any insertion in stories, which is a pretty popular action in stories. Though it's likely impossible to breathe when you're shoved face-first up a vagina, I don't mind ignoring that little fact to enjoy the story more, because if you only go for realism, all your left with is worshipping giant body parts or dying.
[Report This]Date: January 05 2012 12:12 AM Title: Amongst Friends
I like it.
Please continue. Bring out Debra's twisted dark side.
Be more descriptive, and maybe relate each experience from both sides.
Hey, if the step-brother shrinks and goes missing, she has little to fear from the authorities.
Author's Response:
Sorry, but you won't get to see anymore of Debra's darkside. The interaction with her friends was merely to show Nicole that there has been a bigger change in her world that she hadn't noticed before. I was thinking about bringing back a couple of the girls for a chapter about Claire's brother, but odds are I won't do it because it wouldn't flow with Nicole's family's story.
[Report This]Date: January 04 2012 7:57 AM Title: Amongst Friends
the dialog in this chapter was very good. an the situations that the girls were in were pretty cool.
aaron
[Report This]Date: January 04 2012 2:04 AM Title: The New Law
I like this chapter a lot, with the different war stories being told.. My only caution is that you don't make this story go completely implausible by making the shrunken protaganists indestructible. If you can pull this story back away from this then it will be among the classics.
Just my opinion.
Author's Response:
Don't worry, I don't think I have any TOO unbelieveable situations coming up, but then again, a disease that shrinks the entire male species is pretty outlandish, and I doubt most guys would typically get caught in situations that these tiny men are going to be getting in. I try to make my stories seem as real as possible which is why I put so much description into them and give characters reasoning for their choices, but no one has any idea what the limits of a shrunken man truly would be, so it's hard to say what's realistic and what's not. I actually just read a scientific article talking about this matter, and it had some interesting theories, like a man falling from a table would be perfectly fine because even though he seems like's miles high, he's only a few feet off the ground. My guess is what worried you was the whole "dad being in a shoe all day" thing, am I right? I can already tell you I've outlined 12 chapters and none have to do with tiny guys being stepped on all day, which in all fairness, would likely kill them. Do you have any other unrealistic concerns though?
Oh, and here's the link to the article I read on the off chance you're interested in reading it http://fathom.lib.uchicago.edu/2/21701757/
[Report This]Date: December 20 2011 12:12 PM Title: The New Law
More, more, more, please!!!!!
I hope there's interaction between the daughter and both of the guys... And I hope the mother has to get involved too! Perhaps to play peacekeeper or something..
In any event, this is a great story so far.
[Report This]Date: December 19 2011 10:46 AM Title: The New Law
This is very nice... And I really like the stepfather/brother angle... I just can't wait to read more of what you come up with.
Great Job!!! Keep it up!!!
[Report This]Date: December 19 2011 10:13 AM Title: Telling Nicole
great update. love the direction its going so far. cant wait for more.
aaron
Date: December 17 2011 9:26 PM Title: The New Law
A great story maybe,go on...
[Report This]Date: December 17 2011 8:30 PM Title: The New Law
great start. hope to see more.
aaron
[Report This]Date: December 17 2011 7:08 PM Title: The New Law
What a great story this is going to be! I love the primise and the interplay between the characters already. I hope the male "relatives" learn about the power of female feet (amongst other body parts) as things get going. Keep up the good work. I see great things with this story!