Reviewer: Frizzle Signed [Report This]
Date: December 25 2017 11:14 PM Title: Revenge is best served 'Shrunk'

The paragraphs are a wonderful improvement I see! Alot of the beginning I felt was pointless, and I'll admit I found myself skipping over stuff that seemed irrelevant to the story. 

You have the paragraphs nailed, and now you just need to work on your grammar and vocabulary. If you can improve those skills, you will no doubt be one of the better authors on this site in my opinion!

The cat scene was very hot. I'm not a fan of animal vore per say, but for some reason I have a soft spot for crow and cat vore. The thought of Julia feeding the Dr. to her cat as punishment was extremely hot, and I honestly wished you had gone into more detail with it :/

I'll admit, the scene was so great, but so anticlimactic as it passed within seconds of reading... and that's another area you need to work on. Details, give us more details in the actions of the characters. Show us what is happening to them in detail, and show us how they feel when said actions are taking place!

 

Anywho, much better story than the previous one I read of yours! I'm upping my rating to four stars only because I see an incredible improvement. This also means however, that I'll now hold you to a higher standard ;)

 

Keep writing! I enjoy your works :)