[Report This]Date: July 31 2024 7:46 AM Title: Tuesday Evening
Still my favourite scene of the story, it definitely reads a lot smoother and I did notice some more dialogue throughout.
I think I personally enjoy Natalie's character more, and it'll be good to see her become more dismissive of tim as time goes on.
Will you write in more interactions with her going forward? Because I'd love to see her slowly get used to Tim's invulnerability in a way considering.
Author's Response:
I assume “favorite scene” that you mean the laundry scenes. As I mentioned in the story notes, it’s an interaction that doesn’t seem to get a lot of attention in shrinking stories, so I’m going to be using it as a template for future stories.
Yeah, I find that dialogue-driven chapters take me longer to write because I need the dialogue to move the plot forward, but seem natural and not forced.
Natalie’s character arc is one that I’m really trying to get right in this rewrite: I really want her dismissiveness to seem like a natural progression, which is especially hard to get right considering her concerned nature towards her tiny son. I think the best way to do that is by emphasizing her disbelief that the incidents that Tim experiences with Julia are anything more than just accidents. I’m going to see if I can get more interactions with her going forward, but most of them are probably going to be situated on around Friday still. The issue is that Tim’ll eventually be discovered, and just like with the laundry incident, Natalie will definitely freak out. Although, it might make his ending up in the hamster cage feel like a necessity.
Anyway, glad you’re enjoying the rewrites; always happy to hear from you.
[Report This]Date: March 14 2023 8:01 PM Title: Tuesday Evening
I absolutely love the mom adding to his sufferings completely unaware. I would love to see Tim getting trapped in her clothes at some point, even if Julia puts him there as some sort of punishment.
Overall it's a great story so far, very engaging for sure!
Author's Response:
Well, as Tim’s mother, Natalie is going to remain extra cautious with regards to her son throughout the story. Natalie loves Tim, and would never to anything to purposely hurt him, so any other “scenarios” involving her would have to be of the unaware variety. However, you have given me some food for thought, as I’m finding it harder for her to remain oblivious towards Julia’s treatment of Tim, and something like this might help keep Tim quiet about his mistreatment.
Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. They’re always welcomed.
Date: March 14 2023 1:21 AM Title: Tuesday Evening
I could barely read the text, you may have to try reformatting it, it's too small to read properly.
And increasing the text size isn't working on the widget.
Author's Response:
Sorry about that. I also couldn’t adjust the font size on the website, so I just updated the chapter by pasting the text in a larger font. Hopefully, that works better for everyone.
Thanks for letting me know!