[Report This]Date: April 04 2024 3:14 AM Title: Ch 7. In the Pits
I think I realized something about Javi in this chapter. He's a people pleaser. At first I thought he was just laid back and going with the flow on certain things, but his actions here, when taken into account with everything else up to this point, seem to indicate that, a lot of the time, he's just doing or saying what he thinks those around him want him to do or say.
I came to this conclusion when Javi actively lied to Heather about smoking making her look sexy to him (when it, in fact, disgusted him). It would be one thing if he had just ignored it or said it was fine, but to tell her it was sexy, the exact opposite of his actual thought, he was more worried about Heather liking what he had to say than he was about expressing his real feelings.
This made me think back to other Javi moments in the story and kind of see them in a new light. Back in chapter one, when Michelle rudely stomped through the Tiny Student Union and spoke at an obnoxious volume, did it really not bother Javi or was he so desperate to keep Michelle happy that he ignored what clearly grated on every other little in the room (including Jackie)? When he was acting the part of terrified tiny for Shawna last chapter, was he burying his actual fear because part of him was into that or was he just acting the way that he knew the giant TA wanted him to? Hell, there's even that line this chapter in which Javi says that Heather is giving him too much credit for saying that they're just people enjoying each other's company and that's it. And then there's the fact that he was shocked that Heather let him take the lead during sexy time, as he had just accepted that the bigs would always call the shots.
All of that, and possibly some smaller instances not really worth mentioning, have me convinced that Javi needs people to like him. Well, giant women at least. He doesn't seem to act this way around Javi or Jackie (who, as we've already established, is really just an exceptionally tall tiny), and we see him taking a more active role in conversations with those two than with the other corners of the rhombus (although I feel like Heather was starting to break through a tiny bit, which is part of the reason I'm pulling for her).
So (assuming I'm right) the question now becomes why Javi is so eager for these huge ladies to like him that he's willing to ignore his own wants and needs to make that happen. I've got a theory there, as well, although I don't think we know enough to draw anything conclusive yet.
Shawna introduced herself as Javi's old babysitter which I didn't think much of at first (and could admittedly be nothing significant), but now it does have me wondering how available his parents were, especially since it sounds like this led to Shawna and Javi spending a lot of time together. Then there's the comment he made at the convention about having to have confidence in himself because who else will for him. And finally, there was the embarrassment he felt when he told Heather his kink (and the amount of alcohol it took for him to do so), as well as the legit surprise he felt at seeing her enjoy his worship. There's even the fact that he has been "bribing" girls to come to his games by promising to hit a three in their honor.
From all of that, I kind of think Javi didn't have the best support structure growing up. Maybe his parents were always busy or maybe they just weren't expressive with their feelings, but it seems like he may have felt a bit emotionally deprived as a kid. I also think he probably shared something personal about himself (maybe sexual, maybe not) with a girlfriend (or possibly someone else really close to him) and was rejected, maybe even rejected harshly.
Yeah, I might be grasping at straws a bit here, but one thing I'm pretty confident in is that Javi, despite being a well-documented ladies man, needs to feel loved but feels like he has to change who he is to get the kind of love he's looking for. He doesn't think anyone will love the real him, not the way he wants them to, at least.
That's my working theory, anyway. I could very easily be wrong about all of it, but speculation is fun, huh?
And hey, if I'm right, that Heather accepted him despite learning his embarrassing secret (and was even into it) has to be a good sign, right? Right?!
I love how impulsive Heather was to "kidnap" Javi just before the start of class. That was a bold move, but absolutely on point with her character. I also liked how easy it was for her to open up to Javi during a couple of points in the chapter. I feel like their conversations so far feel the most natural (admittedly part of that is circumstance, but still, it makes the potentially developing relationship feel realistic).
I also noticed that, while Shawna got flustered and dropped her confident façade a bit when Javi teased her about his ... transport options, Heather very confidently shot that shit down and had not problem getting down to business. Like I said last chapter, Shawna felt slightly desperate at times, so it was a nice contrast to see Heather be assertive (without being forceful or scaring the bejesus out him, like Crazy Shawna).
I thought it was interesting that Heather let Javi dictate what they were going to do, although I didn't think too much of it until a couple of paragraphs later, when she noted that she considered sex to be "a fight for dominance" and thought about how roughly past lovers had treated her. So, in my mind, Heather either has feelings for Javi strong enough that she was willing to let him win that fight or she's a sub who enjoys losing said fight. And given how much she enjoyed being worshipped, I think it's safe to say that she's definitely not a sub.
And I just wanted to say that I really liked the "move this somewhere more intimate" line. Very creative use of what's usually a pretty standard intimate moment phrase.
As for the the sudden turn things took once Heather broke out the smokes, I felt like there was some nice foreshadowing leading up to that pivotal moment. I'd say her keeping him in her hand without thinking about the smell or how sweaty he would get and the fact that she didn't consider that shotgunning a beer with a tiny in her mouth might get a bit rough with said tiny (while Javi did ask for a try, it was her idea that they do it together). And then there was earlier in the chapter, where Heather thinks back to her time at an all big school before taking Javi from class, casually reminding us of Heather's inexperience with tinies prior to college.
I think all of that, and maybe even the odd moment or two in the chapters leading up to this one, showed that it was inevitable that she was eventually going to make a noticeable mistake and realize the impact she can have on tinies without even trying. And when it happened, it shook her in a major way, as was made apparent by the fact that she was afraid to even touch him after the fact.
Although, if there was any doubt about how Heather felt about Javi, her immediate reaction to this put that to bed. The way she panicked and doted over him was super cute, despite the seriousness of the scene.
I do find it intriguing that things turned out this way. Obviously, I was rooting for Heather to have at least as much fun as Shawna did, but ending the chapter this way was certainly a lot more interesting. Could this be an obstacle the two need to overcome to end up together, or is this roadblock an opportunity for the other two rhombus dwellers to pull away?
I think a conflict like this, again, would make a relationship between the Heather and Javi seem more realistic, as well as earned. Then again, we don't even know too much about Michelle yet, other than that it's her bloody turn, damn it! So it's hard to speculate too much on where you intent to go with this until we get a deeper look into why Michelle wants him so badly, which I'm guessing is coming next chapter?
I also believe that this incident is going to have a wider affect on Heather. She might start thinking back and overanalyzing her previous interactions with tinies and start to become skittish not only around Javi but Lynn (and Pierce theoretically, although we haven't really seen these two interact much up to this point) as well. Like I said before, Heather's mild carelessness with tinies, unlike Michelle's, seems to be the product of a lack of experience around them. Now that she has noticed the result of that innocent ignorance, especially with the experience turning out as badly as it did, that's going to start weighing on her heavily now, I think, given that she's actually a kind and considerate person.
If this is how things end up playing out, I'm curious how Heather will get over this hump and who might provide her with the most help along the way.
Author's Response:
Ah, how the pieces fall in place. Yeah, Javi is absolutely a people pleaser. When Shawna wants to play predator, he knows to don the role of prey. When Heather ruins the mood by smoking, he knows to keep his true opinions in check. I think this actually goes in line with his go with the flow attitude, him adapting to whatever his partner desires as opposed to trying to steer things his way and risk souring the relationship. If the people around him are happy. then he's happy, and if they aren't, then what's he doing wrong to cause that? Your comment in that last review regarding Javi playing along to Shawna's wiles and how that possibly showed what he was into intrigued me because your analysis here is much closer to what I was going for. He doesn't care to fit the role of unwilling victim, but he can assume that guise if it's what his partner wants. And in his eyes, bigs attracted to tinies are seeking an unbalanced power dynamic in their relationships, that's what he's grown used to in his experiences with the people he's been with. Paying no mind to Michelle's obnoxious entrance is partly out of consideration for her feelings and partly because that's how he expects and is used to bigs acting (outside of special cases like Jackie).
Granted, I don't view his eagerness to please as contradictory to his own desires, at least not fully. He is submissive, as a people pleaser typically would be, and does derive his own pleasure from serving dominant personalities (in case his worship and armpit fetish wasn't a massive indicator of that lol). There's a slither of truth to his performance; a voracious Shawna is kinda hot, and there is a sexy aspect of maturity and dominance to a giant woman smoking toxic cloud producing cigarettes, and he'll keep his outward focus on the positives while ignoring the fact that neither of those are to his taste. (I hope that makes sense? Like, just because he's a sub doesn't mean he's going to enjoy every flavor of domination or not think it can go too extreme in certain places, but he's willing to play along with most places his partner wants to take him for the sake of their enjoyment even when that contradicts with what he actually finds appealing.) Not to say Javi's a total pushover. He's socially skilled enough to know when to tease and push back, like with Shawna's obvious fibbing to carry him in her cleavage, situations where he knows pushing back will enhance the mood rather than ruin it (this isn't directed at any specific point you rose, just me processing through my own introspections on this character).
This side of him isn't really seen with Pierce because they've been best friends their whole lives. He doesn't need to put on any façade for his bro and is willing to tell him what he needs to hear because he can be sure it won't damage their friendship. With Jackie and other tinies, I see it as him not viewing them as potential romantic partners and thus doesn't have to put as much thought into keeping them happy. The stakes are lower, and while he almost always avoid upsetting them, he isn't as concerned with pleasing their every whim. Future chapters will show him capitulating to characters outside of the rhombus, but specifically in Jackie's case, Javi's more concerned about making sure Pierce is affirming whatever she wants rather than what he himself is doing for her.
As for your theory crafting, I mainly just want to tell you how giddy it makes me that something I've written can even inspire one to theorize about it. Skimming back through previous pieces of prose looking for evidence to support your predictions, that's like a hallmark of actual literature and the fact my silly smut is decent enough to warrant that kind of critical thought is so elating. Whether the specifics of your speculation are correct or not, there is certainly truth in the core idea that Javi feels the need to adapt to meet his partner's criteria and that he needs to hide the undesirable aspects of his character (particularly his fetish). I believe that's relatable to a lot of people, especially in a kink community like this, where we want to hide the "weird" part of our identities out of fear of rejection or harassment, to avoid shame and judgment. It's a scary thing making yourself vulnerable to another by letting them get a glimpse of the full you.
But enough of that, let's talk Heather! I do like the rapport she's built with Javi and how that contrasts with Shawna's more forced insistences. The front Heather puts on comes off as less desperate and more confident which I think lends itself to an experienced socialite. And that experience also plays into her views on sex and giving Javi the chance to take the reins. I'm not sure yet how much I plan to delve into this aspect of her character, but the crowd Heather is used to getting cozy with are social elites and inheritors of wealth and status, a.k.a spoiled boys who are used to getting what they want and are taught to always be as assertive as possible to get ahead in life. I'd say Heather leans more on the dom side, but is willing to switch if that's what makes her partner happy (to a lesser degree of what Javi does, it being tied into his personality whereas for Heather it's moreso a tactic to gain favor, though I think she'd gain genuine pleasure from it if she was subbing for someone she truly cares for with the expectation that they'd be willing to do the same for her).
I'm glad you like the "somewhere more intimate" line. I needed a smoother way of saying "Why don't ya lick my nipple?" and thank the muses for coming to my aid lol.
As for your thoughts on Heather's big slip-up this chapter, that's going to be another instance of me refraining from commenting to avoid any accidental reveals on my part. I do very much enjoy reading your thoughts on it though.
Next chapter will give our final corner her time to shine, though it will also be more inclusive towards the rest of the cast. I have some future events I want to start setting up, some intrapersonal and interpersonal conflicts to explore, and hoo boy it's been a minute since Lynn and Alena have gotten any screen time.
[Report This]Date: March 30 2024 6:27 AM Title: Ch 6. First Corner on the Rhombus of Love
I gave this chapter a 10 rating after reading the title alone!
I really like that you decided to start exploring the love rhombus with Shawna. I think I mentioned it before, but we didn't really know much about her going into this chapter. With Michelle being featured a bit in the first chapter and Heather being part of the main group of friends in the story, Shawna being an unknown made her feel like less of "threat" to steal Javi's heart.
This chapter certainly changed that.
I feel like we learned a lot about Shawna here, but I think the most vital thing came from that question about the promise Javi made to her when he was a third grader and she was a sixth grader (I wasn't sure what the age difference was between them, as she was once his "babysitter," so the clarification on three years' difference was also appreciated). She thought she was going to stump him with that question and was legitimately surprised that he remembered, but I think her remembering it in the first place is actually more significant to the reader.
Prior to Javi's answer, we only knew that the two of them had a connection from when they were younger and that she found him hot. Kid Javi promising to buy her a house with a pool to make her happy shows a legit reason for her to be attracted to him. With the tiny being so young, he likely wasn't into girls yet (to be fair, I don't know where tinies stand on the cooties epidemic), so that offer, though unrealistic for obvious reasons, showed her a kind sincere side of him, as well as that he genuinely cares for her. And with her being a sixth grader, a time where she was probably starting to really look at boys differently, it's likely that this is where her crush for him started. The fact that she remembers it, that it was important enough to stick out in her mind after all these years (it was ancient times, after all) more or less backs that up.
And how happy she was that he actually remembered it, despite losing the round to him as a result, all but proves the point.
More importantly, that promise shows off some traits to the reader that we know would be desirable in a partner, giving Shawna's lust for Javi some ground to stand on. I think this was sorely needed if we were to consider Shawna to be as serious an option for the tiny as Heather and Michelle, who we've seen established as legitimate potential love interests already. I'm glad you were not only able to provide that here but that you were able to do so in such a subtle way.
As for the study game itself, it was a great idea that was brilliantly executed here. I especially enjoyed how Shawna mixed in a couple cheap questions in with actual class ones. She really did want to help him, but she wanted to see him naked more. If it wasn't for those neural devices, Javi never would have had a chance to take things down to the wire.
But we learned that Shawna isn't afraid to get a little dirty to get what she wants. When it came down to match point, she pulled that Buchanan question out of seemingly nowhere, but (he had to have had that planned as a backup to come up with it that quickly, though. So she likely premeditated her cheating to make sure she won and could further her little game with the tiny basketball star. I love that.
And phase two of the game gave us a glimpse into a bit of her crazier side and what really turns her on about having a tiny lover. The way she switched from caring, if not a bit desperate tutor to "psycho monster" was pretty intense. Seeing her feed off of Javi's primal fear, that feeling that pierced through his knowledge that Shawna would never actually hurt him, was as eye opening as it was surprising, and it certainly helps her stand apart from her competition (I certainly can't see Heather acting this way, and from what we've seen so far, I'm not sure Michelle would either).
Her being into that obviously shows a dominance streak in her, but she was also able to pull back before taking things too far, which shows that she's balancing that slightly darker need with her softer feelings for him as a person. Even though Javi was playing along with her (and doing that rather than expressing his actual fear says something about what he might be into), she didn't want to risk pushing him too far and making it a terrifying experience for him, rather than a sexy one.
Also, why we're on the subject, I liked how you expressed Shawna's "invigoration" at Javi's fear. In particular, her feeling his pulse through her fingertips stuck out to me. That's something I don't recall reading in one of these stories before, and I think it really drove the point you wanted to make home.
But jumping back to earlier in the chapter, we saw the other side of Shawna. While she was able to cleverly fend off Heather from joining the study session (so well, in fact, that Michelle didn't even try), we see the TA get flustered when trying to use the same Jedi mind tricks on Javi, who, rather than giving in (to something he wants anyway), playfully pushed back instead. That he got her to "break character" and basically straight up say "Do you want in there or not" displays her not being able to take that control because her feelings for Javi are too overwhelming. We see this desperation from her in nuanced ways a couple of times throughout the chapter, and the contrast between those moments and her calling him protein wasn't lost on me. It makes her more interesting for sure.
So kudos for making Shawna's corner of the rhombus just as equal as the other three (ignore that a rhombus doesn't have four equal angles for a minute). Ultimately, I'm still rooting for Heather, even though my head says it will probably be Michelle that ends up with him, but I've gone from thinking of Shawna as an afterthought to being content at the thought that she could be the one to win his heart.
Author's Response:
My goal with this chapter was to elevate Shawna as a viable contender, so mission accomplished!
I had to go over the segment delving into Shawna's wild side several times. I wanted it to feel sudden but not completely out of nowhere, like it hits like a truck initially, but feels like it could reasonably be another side of her character and how she's presented up to that point. I'm still not certain if I'm fully satisfied with how it came out, but I believe I conveyed what I want conveyed.
There's a few comments in here I find extremely intriguing but I don't want to respond to in fear of showing my hand too early. I will say, it's always interesting to see what details stick out to the reader. A lot of subtle details come from me having a more complete view of these characters, their personalities, relationships, and arcs, beyond what the audience currently or may ever know, so little things that just come to me naturally as behaviors that fit their character end up having a bigger impact than I realize while writing. I knew the bit about the promise was important to both of their characterizations, but all that came to me so much easier than trying to keep Shawna's voracious and manipulative side in line with her caring and sentimental persona. It's always jubilating seeing the little things appreciated.
We'll be sticking close to the rhombus for a little while, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your thoughts as we progress.
[Report This]Date: February 29 2024 10:44 PM Title: Ch 5. The Popcorn Tub Gambit
Well, it looks like Jackie takes after her mama. I wonder if those special suits for tinies ever made it stateside?
One thing I really loved about this chapter is that we delved a little deeper into that other side of Jackie that started to show itself internally last chapter. She's starting to get a little bolder and even flirty, and it's nice to see her open up. Her gently putting him on the rim of her popcorn bucket without asking permission surprised me as much as it did Pierce but in a good way. And that his concern wasn't that she did this but whether or not to round first base and head for second shows that he wasn't too worried about her taking charge like that.
I also loved that she used her incredibly delicate movements around tinies for evil for once, stealing Pierce's food. I wonder if Pierce would have really gone in after those fries if Jackie had leaned down and opened her mouth.
As for Pierce, seeing him start to gain some confidence at the backend of the date was nice. I enjoyed his uncertainty about everything pre-gambit, but mainly because I was expecting him to move past it by the end of the date, which he seemed to do at the McDonald's (maybe it was the presence of his long lost McRib that gave him more confidence?).
Even though Pierce and Jackie were the focus of this chapter, Javi may have come away the most likable from it. The more we see of him, the more he bucks those jock and player stereotypes and comes off as laid back but more than willing to help his friends, even if their only problem is shyness. The reveal at the end of the chapter that he was masterminding the popcorn tub gambit (love the name, by the way) from both sides of the date was as endearing as it was hilarious. It also made me wonder if this was actually a thing or if he was trying to make it one. And that he had to make sure that Jackie tipped Pierce the right way was really funny, too. I really enjoyed his banter with both of them at the bookends of the chapter, actually.
I also appreciated all the little worldbuilding things included here: tinies using a cash app to pay for things on the big side of town, the concession stand having large sizes for tinies (and workers with enough common sense to know to distinguish the two on their own), tinies having their own seating section in big theaters, and even the classic "sneak in the tiny" strategy being used by their big friends. I don't think most of that (everything but the cash app, most likely) would have even been imagined for the future by the characters in Mixing Sizes. Their society really has come a long way in a short period of time.
And lastly, I had to laugh at the basketball segment. I'm not sure if you're unfamiliar with the game or intentionally wrote the scene to be humorous, but it turned out amazingly! My favorite part was when Pierce watched the ball "rebound to the other side of the court." You did get right that if someone shoots the ball perfectly it does usually come back to them, though, so props for that.
And I'm not laughing at you; I'm laughing with you, but just facing your general direction. Oh, you're not laughing? Well, this is awkward.
But in all seriousness, this chapter was a fun one, and I liked the decision to focus all of it on Pierce and Jackie. A lot of anticipation has been building in this relationship, and giving this date a whole chapter to itself was a fun tease for what's surely to cum.
Author's Response:
I think for introverts like Jackie and Pierce, the first steps into a relationship can be really nerve wracking, especially initializing the relationship and going on that first date. But once they start forming that connection and falling into the flow of things, nerves give way to familiarity and the relationship can truly start flourishing. Jackie can be very confident when she's in her comfort zone which I plan to explore plenty as we progress through the story. And if you're going to be dating a giant woman, then you better be willing to let her take charge from time to time (or potentially all the time lol).
Glad you're liking how Javi is shaping up because he is going to finally get the spotlight next chapter (possibly the next couple chapters). My plan for this story is to mostly have each chapter focus on a subset of the main cast, not necessarily giving everyone an even amount of time to shine, but ensuring every one gets their due in between much bigger chapters focusing a little bit on everyone (like the con chapter coming between a Lynn/Alena heavy chapter and this Jackie/Pierce one).
And, uh, yeah, obviously any inaccuracies during the basketball segment were intentional errors to serve the narrative. Duh. It's not like I haven't played basketball since middle school and can't even point out what mistakes I supposedly made lol. Look, not every chapter can be an overindulgent love letter to my actual hobbies. Sometimes I gotta bring up sportsball.
I have some fun plans ahead regarding Jackie's "special inheritance." For now, let's just say that the market has evolved from when Jess and Drew were in their heyday.
[Report This]Date: February 22 2024 11:12 PM Title: Ch 4. Conventional Love and Fighting Giant Monsters
The contrast between Lynn and Jackie when it comes to pursuing a relationship really serves this story well.
It made total sense that Lynn would bed somebody early into the story (hell, I'm impressed she was able to hold out for almost three whole chapters!). Shy, quiet Jackie was always going to take more time before even going on a date, let alone providing us with glorious, glorious smut, especially when the object of her affection is someone like Pierce, who's a little more sociable but mostly the same as her.
So what we end up with as a story that gives us an intense sex scene without much waiting but still has a little bit of that slow burn quality to it at the same time. This is an excellent use of the story's main premise.
As for that slow burn, you've done a really good job with bringing Jackie and Pierce along. Where there was at least some mystery of who Lynn would go after (I was thinking Alena ever since Lynn had to save her boobs from that eraser, but Heather would have made sense as well), it was telegraphed pretty early that Jackie and Pierce were into each other. But the lack of mystery there is definitely a good thing, as watching them awkwardly stumble through trying to make their feelings known makes the reader go from "Oh, they'd be cute together" to "Man, I really need to see these two together." You've built up a lot of anticipation for this (and not even just for the smut; even just seeing them going on a date next chapter [assuming that's where you're going next] is kind of exciting now), and you cranked that shit up in this chapter.
I'm really enjoying how dense and nervous Pierce is. I cracked up pretty hard at that whole "maybe I should wait five seconds" "shit, it's been ten seconds" bit (as well as Jackie's concern about "the implication"; I hope she got the tone right in her head when she thought that). And the way he didn't even realize that she chose saving him over winning the game (even though it wasn't real, it was in the heat of the moment) was adorably clueless. Still, I'm glad Javi was able to force his hand and that he was able to come out streets ahead on this one.
As for Jackie, it was refreshing to see her thinking a bit more sensually in this chapter. I loved the setup of her planning to find the right time to "accidentally" have him fall into her cleavage only for her naturally protective instincts to keep it from happening on its own. It's also cute how she thought she was coming off as needy asking him for help with that gaming PC. While that's not the natural way one would interpret asking for a simple favor like that, that she thought this shows that actually she was yearning for him. Oh, and I liked that having Pierce on her shoulder kept her relaxed around the bigs in a way that not even having Lynn with her seems to.
Also, I called attention to this in my last review, but I want to say again how cool it is that you've developed a big that truly has a tiny's mentality. The fact that Jackie disassembled the PC to clean it just so Pierce wouldn't get sick when he was crawling around in there may have driven this point home more than anything else up until this point. I don't think even the most thoughtful or caring big would have even given a thought to how the inside of a used computer might look to a tiny, not because of a lack of sympathy for their smaller counterparts but simply because little details like that just don't naturally come to mind. Yeah, her cleaning out the PC shows that she really cares for Pierce, but maybe more significantly, it displays a thought process entirely different from those of the bigs. This was an incredibly well thought out tidbit to the story!
And the AR game was pretty cool. Man, I hope we can approach that level of immersion with AR tech here in the real world one day.
I think Javi is approaching this love rhombus (I'm sticking with it) he's trapped in rather well. He's aware enough to know that he needs to pay attention to little things such as likes on social media when dealing with the girls. That level of diplomacy will help keep things civil, at least for a while. I also like that he neither seems in a rush to pick one of the three girls nor tries to string them along. I think a lot of people would be either pressured or tempted in his situation, and it says a lot about him that he's just going at his own pace and not worrying about it too much.
His hang out with Heather is a good example of this. There was nothing inherently romantic about them walking around together. He handled her calling him out about that three-pointer line perfectly. That "pretty much" conveyed both that he likes to engage in a bit of harmless flirting from time to time and that her coming to watch his games wouldn't be taken as a sign of them being in a relationship but would just be a casual thing.
Heather also handled things pretty well, I think. The whole conversation came off as friendly in tone, with her not seeming in any way to be needy or trying to claim territory. So far, I think the banter between these two is the most natural (although we admittedly haven't seen quite as much of Michelle or Shawna yet). I also enjoyed Heather's tit-for-tat approach (if I go watch you, you have to come watch me). Intentional or not, that let her know that he was just as willing to support her as she was willing to support him. And that led to them setting a goal together, which was pretty sweet, even if they end up as just friends (I'm still pulling for Heather, though).
But maybe the most profound part of that conversation was Javi's "no one else will for me" line. I wasn't expecting something quite so deep out of him, honestly. That kind of wraps his confident persona in a blanket of humility and frames it in a whole different light. The line between confident and cocky is a narrow one, and that sort of thinking helps balance him out as he walks along it.
Lynn handles that balancing act in an entirely different way. She's definitely cocky but not in a malicious way. She's just so confident in herself that she truly believes it when she says things like, "You're the prettiest girls he's ever talked to. Aside from me, of course," (also note that she was saying that to her TWIN, so it's kind of like she complimented herself twice). That, in an odd way, makes her cockiness almost inspiring and definitely alluring, particularly to someone like Alena, who's clearly lacking in the confidence department. It also makes the tiny twin fearless (I loved the way she told that big jerk off). And, ultimately, and unlike a lot of cocky people, she's a caring person, looking after her sister and looking out for her friends. All of this makes some traits that I would normally not care for really endear me to Lynn.
Like I mentioned above, Alena's confidence is still a work in progress. She took a big step at the end of the last chapter, but here she projects her worries and concerns onto Lynn at times. She absolutely is the type to fuss and fawn over a girlfriend (especially when she can fit in the palm of Alena's hand), and it was sweet that she tried to bury all of that and let Lynn have her fun (and she was right about not being able to cage a free spirit like Lynn, another thing I love about the tiny). In the end, though, he fears won out and she wouldn't let her keep going.
That's why I think dating Lynn will be good for her. It'll take some time, but being around Lynn so much will help loosen her up over time, I think. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, dating Alena will teach Lynn some humbleness and slow her down a bit. I can see why people wanted Lynn and Heather together (that opening segment showed how great their rapport is), but this is why I think Alena was a better match for her. Alena and Lynn will grow through each other and balance each other out, which makes for a much more interesting coupling.
I am looking forward to Heather and Lynn sneaking away and doing more irresponsible things, though.
Author's Response:
The amount of main characters in this story has been such a boon for the overall pacing. By having the different characters' relationships proceed at speeds that make sense for those characters, I get to flip between immediate sexual gratification from one couple to adorkably awkward will they/won't they from another. It's also fun exploring how different personalities explore love differently and the very different dynamics of these pairings.
It's great to see Jackie and Pierce have become a "must see" couple. I figured Lynn and Alena would be a hit because I'm almost as confident in Lynn as she is in herself, and Alena's lack of confidence makes her a perfect foil with room to grow, but with more reserved/nervous characters like JP there's that concern I cross the line from endearing into either tedious or boring. They are easy to write, though. I'm going to pretend the "five seconds / ten seconds" bit wasn't the most relatable thing I've ever written lol. And when my mind starts wandering, it more often comes back to scenes I have planned for these two than the other couples for whatever reason, both the sexy and the wholesome. I'm definitely excited to get the next chapter finished (which certainly won't take as long as getting this one out did, I dearly hope) as you correctly assumed it will be focused on a fun first date.
We are getting ever closer to actually confronting the rhombus (i.e. giving Shawna and Michelle some time in the spotlight). I am still a bit nervous about pulling the whole thing off in a way that's entertaining and satisfying to the general consensus, but I won't truly know if I succeeded or not until its over and out there, and I should probably be more confident in my ability to write mixed size romances by this point lol. You hit the nail on the head with how I intended to characterize Javi and Heather this chapter. Javi's very much a go with the flow kind of guy. He's not going to make any commitments sooner then he has to. As for Heather, we'll delve a bit deeper into this later, but she's just happy to make friends who actually care about her and not her bank account, that takes precedence over "claiming territory" (granted, there's more than one way to go about a conquest).
Lynn is a special kind of arrogant, one in which she believes the people in her fold are just as entitled to happiness as she is. Sure, she's prettier than them all (even her girlfriend and her IDENTICAL TWIN), but she isn't going to treat anyone lesser for simply not being on her level. Whether you believe she's as great as she thinks she is is up for the reader to decide, but that won't matter to her because she already has decided. Just don't cross her or anyone she cares about, or you'll be subject to her righteous fury.
Thank you so much for the thorough analysis. It always feels good knowing I'm conveying these characters how I intend to and that the things I'm setting up for are getting picked up along the way.
[Report This]Date: February 21 2024 3:48 AM Title: Ch 1. New Faces
Started reading the first three parts of this story and was instantly hooked on all the characters, they're designed and described so well! Very distinct personalities and styles. I find myself rooting for everyone. I hope Alena finds some well earned self confidence, I'm excited to see Lynne push her out of her comfort zone! The Pierce/Jackie dynamic is adorable, usually I'm pretty impatient with slow burn but this is done so well. Not to mention Javi's dilemma of course!
Then I read the 4th chapter... All this beautiful writing and story was an excuse to nerd out about mecha wasn't it :) you're like Tolkien writing Lord of the Rings just to talk about his cool elf lore
Joking aside, this is quickly becoming one of my favourite series on here. Great work!
Author's Response:
Yeah, I may have gone overboard with chapter 4 lol. I needed a place/event for Pierce and Jackie to spend some time together to build chemistry before I actually kicked off their relationship, and once I decided on anime/gaming convention, the floodgates on all this useless knowledge trapped in the confines of my mind came rushing out. You're regularly scheduled mixed size slice of life should be coming back next chapter without any unnecessary spiel regarding knightmare frames or variable fighters.
I'm glad you appreciate the character designs. It's an oft-overlooked element considering there's no actual visuals, but I do enjoy designing characters, especially their outfits. If I had the time and patience to learn how to draw, I'd truly be unstoppable, but until then words will have to suffice. These characters are a ton of fun to write, though. I was initially scared writing such a large cast, but it's been pretty smooth bouncing them off one another.
I get what you mean about slow burns. I love writing and reading them because when done right I think they lead to much more satisfying payoff, but they can absolutely be tedious if not handled well. Fortunately, I seem to be doing fine with it so far.
Thank you so much for the kind words! And that reminds me I still need to read your latest chapter, so I will try and remedy that some point in the nearish future.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2024 12:01 PM Title: Ch 3. Hooking Up
Lynn is my hero.
I absolutely love how she had both the patience and the passionate, relentless drive to bring Alena out of her shell. Her take-charge, let-cum-what-may attitude in the bedroom is just perfect.
Alena is absolutely adorable here, and I feel for her lack of self-confidence on a very deep level.
I feel a little bad Jackie got kicked out of her room on such short notice, but I think it's important for tinies to have a safe space then can engage with a big. Given the more positive and affirmative bent to your stories I wouldn't expect anything bad to come from it, but Lynn taking a full-sized Uber and wandering alone into a mixed-size bar would be very dangerous in a less wholesome story. I'm glad Jackie is so accommodating, and that goes for Heather as well. Heather's down-to-earth and compassionate approach to her new friends is very encouraging.
Wonderful job work the sexy times. That scene checked all of my horny boxes. Take-charge tiny? Check. Big calls the tiny Mistress? Check. Tiny gets gobsmacked and then smothered in boobs? Check. Big tells the tiny," I want you inside me?" Fuck yes! I-I mean, check.
Lynn taking the lead was very in character, but I was extremely pleased when Alena made the first move to engage in intimacy. And what a move, putting Lynn straight into her mouth. I'm not sure what got to me more, the action itself, or its representation of Alena coming out of her shell. A great moment in an excellent scene.
Thanks again for the chapter, and I can't wait to see what comes next!
Author's Response:
I've been wanting to write a tiny who wears the oversized pants in the relationship for quite some time, but I have never been quite sure how to navigate that. Missy in both Turnabout and Small Investments has been a huge inspiration, and I hope I can mold Lynn into a tiny domme even half as good as her. That being said, I really like switches in F/f relationships, so Alena will have her key moments of taking charge (like taking the first bite in this chapter). And as charismatic as Lynn can be, she will absolutely break down into a giddy mess at the chance of being smothered by giant boobs. God, I'm really excited to write more of these two.
Lynn is certainly a risk taker, though I don't think she's even aware of that sort of thing. Youth and confidence go a long way into making her feel immortal even if most her size would feel otherwise. I'm glad to hear Heather is coming across as down-to-earth considering how far above it all her heritage has placed her. She's another character I'm looking forward to writing more of (granted, I can say the same thing about all these guys, so I don't know why I keep specifying this lol).
Next chapter will be a fun one, focusing on much of the main cast and moving some relationships along. And I just want to apologize for sinking the HeaLynn ship so soon. I felt really bad reading your previous reviews knowing where I was headed literally the next chapter. But it sounds like I sold you on Lynn x Alena (ALynna? idk), so I'mma chalk that up as a success. (And don't worry, I have some antics planned between Heather and Lynn, so even if they aren't dating, I think the pair will still provide plenty of entertainment).
[Report This]Date: January 20 2024 9:35 AM Title: Ch 3. Hooking Up
As much as I enjoyed Mixing Sizes, I think I already like this story better.
I think you've made both of the twins into delightfully complex and unique characters, and it's really easy to get invested into them for that almost as much as it is for how likable they are. I think I read in your response to one of the other reviews that you started thinking about these two pretty early on when writing Mixing Sizes, and that really shows here.
Going into this story, I expected the big twin to be pretty understanding of a tiny's perspective and to probably go out of their way to be accommodating to tinies in general, if not be a bit mischievous from time to time (I would think a big sibling could pull off some epic pranks on their tiny twin). I absolutely didn't expect the big twin to actually IDENTIFY as a tiny the way that Jackie does. I found this to be as adorable as I did brilliant. I've honestly never seen that in size fetish story before.
And I love the way that identity has shaped Jackie's personality. Of course she's going to be a shy introvert; she's expected to hang around a group of people she generally finds annoying and intimidating as a big tiny. It's one thing to understand and accommodate a tiny's needs and feelings, but it's quite another to actually at least somewhat share those needs and feelings, so it makes sense that she feels the way she does about her "fellow" bigs.
She seemed so much more comfortable in the tiny district in chapter two. There was none of that awkwardness that Jess always felt there, and Jackie felt like she belonged there despite her size, even when accepting Mrs. McGunagle's (great name, by the way) lemon squares.
I'm really curious whether it will be her or Pierce that will make the first move. I think Pierce is just a little bit more bold than Jackie, but I could see the big tiny moving past her shyness and going after what she wants as her friends help her open up.
On a side note, I found it interesting that Jackie wandering through the tiny district got no reaction at all from the tiny residents. I laughed whenever Jess and Sasha got harassed by the tiny drivers in Mixing Sizes, but it looks like tiny districts have embraced big tourism in the 20 or so years since then. That's a smart choice on their part, and it's intriguing to see the development between the two peoples play out between the two stories.
Lynn I found even more interesting. With Jackie being a big that identifies as a small, you would think that she would be the other side of that coin and be a small that identifies as a big. She doesn't, though. I honestly think that she doesn't identify as either. For her, her size is just a physical trait rather than a representation of who she is, which I think makes her different from pretty much every other character in the story.
I also think this is what gives her such incredible confidence. She's not intimidated by bigs, nor is she super excited to make friends with one. Despite the huge size difference between her and Heather and Alena, Lynn was pretty casual when they first met. And she wasn't looking to avoid sitting in the tiny section because she wanted to sit with the bigs or avoid being seen as just a tiny, she just wanted to sit in the back, you know, like a normal student.
She also takes things in stride that other tinies would gripe about, such as Heather stepping over her and almost knocking her down. I'm pretty sure most of the tinies on campus would have grumbled "frickin' bigs" or something if that would have happened to them, but it wasn't a thing for Lynn. She even got a little annoyed with Alena in this last chapter for handling her too gently, even if she did appreciate the thought.
Of course, Lynn did make it clear that she has a strong preference for big partners, but I think that has more to do with them having a lot more places to stuff her and other tinies not having any such places than anything else. I think Lynn might be more into this fetish than some people on this site! She also clearly inherited Drew's adventurous spirit.
It was great to see her get together with Alena, as that seemed to be the most natural connection she had in the first chapter (other than Alena trying to erase her boobs; what the hell, Alena?!). Seeing Lynn get shy, timid Alena to embrace her wild side was pretty rewarding, and the whole scene was really well-written.
I'm really interested to see how this love rhombus Javi has fallen into will play out. Right now, I think he's going to end up with either Heather or Michelle. We don't know much about Shana yet, so she kind of feels more like an obstacle for the other two to overcome than a legitimate threat. That could change in the coming chapters, though, so I'm not counting her out just yet.
I kind of feel like he's got the most natural rapport with Heather. Michelle seems interested in Javi himself but not particularly interested in the things Javi is interested in or how he sees things as a tiny.
It says a lot that he was able to shrug off the rude, careless way she went looking for him the tiny center, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing in terms of Michelle looking to get with him. It could be taken as a positive, as Javi has adjusted to Michelle in a way that most tiny's (even big ones like Jackie) never will. It could also be taken as a negative in the sense that Michelle either just expected him to adjust to her or simply didn't care to notice the impact her actions have on tinies.
Heather has shown that she can be a bit careless around tinies, too (not dangerously so, but more like that time I mentioned when she almost knocked Lynn over). But she also hasn't been around tinies very much mainly because she's a giant even amongst the bigs and that has to be incredibly intimidating to every tiny not named Lynn or Javi, so there's a reason for her not to realize stuff like that. Michelle has been around Javi for some time, so her actions come off a bit differently.
Still, maybe this presents an opportunity for Michelle to grow as a person and win Javi that way. I could still see this going either way.
We also got an unnamed cameo from Jess! And almost one from Guilty Gear! Come on, Heather! Who doesn't like a good fighting game?
But yeah, like I said, I'm pretty into this already, so I'm excited to see where you go with it from here!
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'd like to think my writing has improved at least somewhat since starting Mixing (though I'm always afraid that my skill is regressing lol, so thanks for the pick-me-up). I had figured out how I wanted to end Mixing early while writing it, and as soon as I decided on Jess and Drew having twins, my mind exploded with ideas on where I wanted the sequel to go. Jackie and Lynn have been taking up a lot of room in my head ever since (making writing other stories in the meanwhile a touch more difficult), but I'm glad to finally unleash the pair onto the world.
Your analysis of their characters makes me beyond giddy because it tells me I'm successfully conveying their characters so far. Jackie is the type of person who will behave noticeably different depending on where she is and who she's around. She's always going to feel more comfortable around her people and more closed off around those who are physically her size (with some exceptions). You are absolutely spot on with Lynn, her seeing her height as simply a trait rather than a defining aspect of her identity. Just because she enjoys hanging around bigs doesn't mean she wishes she were one or that she sees any issues being a tiny. If anything, she loves her size because it lets her date larger women and be tossed into all sorts of places. Her size fetish is interesting in that, unlike irl, it's based around her reality and not limited to a fantasy, and I think that makes it manifest in ways different than how we actualize it. It's almost more equivalent to a real world fat fetish or attraction towards tomboys or something, in that it's based in more practical ideas than abstract ones, which is honestly a drawn out way of saying Lynn thinks bigger is better. I'm excited to explore both of their characters further as the story continues, and am so elated to hear how well received they've been from just these early chapters.
I'll refrain from making specific remarks regarding Javi's enviable situation as to not play my hand too early. Right now, that whole dynamic is giving me the most anxiety as it's my first time writing something akin to a love triangle (as you so aptly put it, a love rhombus), but I'm hopeful the whole thing will satisfy readers with how I plan to let it play out.
Jackie's taste in video games has definitely been affected by the ones she used to play with her parents, so who knows, maybe Guilty Gear will have a chance to cameo yet lol.
Very glad to see you enjoying this so far. I'm hoping to get chapter 4 out sometime this week, and I expect it will continue to deliver.
Date: January 17 2024 6:29 AM Title: Ch 3. Hooking Up
Good story! I love the concept of a pair of twins of different sizes. I like the twist that the smaller sister seems to be the more outgoing one. And you've added some interesting multi-size world building elements to this. I was surprised that things, er, escalated so quickly in chapter 3 but then again, what's a size fetish story without the sexy bits?
Author's Response:
Thank you! Jackie and Lynn have been living rent free in my head for quite a while. The idea of someone growing up with another person that's their mirror image but one is way bigger/smaller than other seemed like it'd make such interesting characters, and I'm excited to finally be writing their story. Having their personalities not line up with their sizes was the extra cherry on top that felt too right not to do. As for worldbuilding, I'm hoping I can do the original story proud and continue its legacy (though, I guess that goes for everything beyond the worldbuilding too)
"Mixed size relationships move at a much faster pace" is a joke line I have planned for a future chapter. It's kind of the nature of this being smut, but I try not to meander too much between the sexy bits. The college setting also helps to speed some relationships along and makes it more believable that some characters are very much down to fuck, but as more characters start to pair up, my goal is to try and have them progress at different rates depending on the personalities involved. I think Mixing Sizes had a decent pace between wholesome dating and intimate sex, so I'm hoping to sort of emulate that here, at least for the time being.
[Report This]Date: January 06 2024 4:30 AM Title: Ch 1. New Faces
Ah, darn, there was one more point on which I meant to comment.
If I'm reading this right, the tiny desks are sitting on the floor at the front of the classroom. This has me a little confused and concerned, as this places them in a prime spot to be stepped on, trupped over, or fallen upon by purpose or accident. I imagine it might also hinder note-taking with the awkward viewing angle for the board. I'm a little surprised there's not a modified big desk with tiny desks arranged upon it, both for visibility of the tinies for the bigs, and for the tinies to see the board.
Sorry for the seeming nitpick, but the practicalities of mixed-size society are one of those things that I dwell on when my mind otherwise goes idle. I'm always curious to see what others come up with, and the reasonings for their approach. I probably shouldn't expound on the various wall-mounted tubs / multi-angle showers / mini water parks I've thought about adding for a tiny resident in a big's shower, but somehow I come back to the subject most mornings when I'm getting ready for work. At least my ideas are better than my singing...
Author's Response:
So, the way it's set up, the tiny desks essentially act as the front of row of seats, with the big desks forming the second rows and beyond. Since tiny desks are obviously smaller, you can fit them all in one row as opposed to the big desks that need multiple rows. There are five tiny desks in front of each big one with spaces between for the aisles, and those tiny desks are two feet in front of the outer edge of the big desks so that their visible and out of range of of most students legs. And there's a good few yards between the front row and the board, so it's not like they're in the front row of a movie theater. I could have sworn I described this in the text, but looking back at it, I clearly didn't, so I might have to edit that in. Granted, you're absolutely right that placing tiny seating on large tables or desks would be a safer bet. My only defense is that such a thing would require lifts for the tinies to access and thus would be less cost effective than simply arranging tiny seating on the floor, but that is admittedly a weak defense considering how much effort the school puts into accommodating both sizes. I'm also coming at this from the angle that this society has had much more time to adjust to mixed size living (unlike the original, the main cast here have lived their entire lives in coexistence) and thus are going to be more cognizant about not stepping or tripping over a tiny row of seats, but this comes with its own problems of me overestimating humanity's ability to not be clumsy around two-inch tall people.
Thanks for the nitpick! I mean that. I nitpick this kind of stuff all the time, and I'm usually good enough at catching my own bullshit, but that sometimes falls through the cracks. If anything bothersome like this pops up in the future, feel free to let me know. I'm not typically one to go back and change things I've already uploaded, but bearing the pain of my mistakes will (hopefully) keep me from making them again in the future.
[Report This]Date: January 06 2024 3:26 AM Title: Ch 2. Sweltering Outside and In
Solid second chapter. Jackie with the boys was a really wholesome pair of scenes, and seeing how neighborly the folks in Pierce's neighborhood are was a nice change of pace from my reality. I'm glad Jackie was able to assist with the heavy lifting, really contributing to the group's progress.
Pierce has a foot fetish and a thing for Jackie. That's gonna be good later, and I still think he's boyfriend material.
And then there's Javi. Is he wearing a brand that weaves their clothes from big-nip? I env- I mean, I wish that man a ton of luck.
I was initially sorry to see Lynn rejected - her adventurous personality with a nerdy big RP-ing as a librarian could have been fun - but I'm still holding out hope for Heather down the line. And I'm glad that Lynn and Justine are friends.
I'm loving the idea that tinies default to electric cars while bigs default to gas/petrol. The physics of scale can be quite interesting, and this plays well to the strength of each technology. Also, small businesses with set-ups to accomodate bigs is absolutely adorable, and I think your approach is a great way to go about it given the difference in scale.
TLDR: Great chapter 2, and I'm really looking forward to chapter 3! Also, I'm totally shipping HeaLynn.
Author's Response:
It makes me really happy to see you shipping characters. Part of my goal with these early chapters was to leave things at least somewhat ambiguous as to who winds up with who. I want to give readers the chance to decide on their favorite characters and think about what relationships they'd like to see them in only for me to potentially crush their hopes and dreams later on. Or make them true. I'll guess we'll see.
I'm glad to hear that Pierce makes good bf material. Him and Javi are the hardest characters to write because they aren't giant women and thus aren't inherently interesting. Not that I'm coasting off that for the bigs, but I do have a much easier time making their characters appealing when they start their character sheets with huge charisma buffs by default.
The age-old adage of "watching a man drown while you die of thirst" very much applies to our boy Javi. Being a dreamboat, and young basketball star who can fit in a pocket (or "pocket") will do that to a man. Whether he survives the semester or not, a lot of people will be very envious of his position.
Unfortunately, Lynn and Justine weren't meant to be, but that at least leaves our tiny adventurer open to other possibilities. Perhaps we'll even get to see such possibility as early as the next chapter? Maybe, who knows? (I mean, I know, but I gotta keep that sort of stuff under wraps for now).
Worldbuilding in this and the original are so much fun. Such a disparate society opens up so many problems to be solved, and writing size lit is much more enjoyable than math.
Thanks again for the reviews. I love hearing your thoughts and insights. Hopefully, this story continues to captivate! (And shit, HeaLynn is a good ship name. Way better than Lynnther.)
[Report This]Date: January 06 2024 2:59 AM Title: Ch 1. New Faces
This is a great start to the sequel! Jackie and Lynn are great character achetypes. Between Lynn's adventurous and outgoing personality wrapped uo in her tiny, two-inch body, and Jackie's tiny, caring soul in her lumbering big body, they make an excellent counterpart for each other.
Your supporting characters are great too. Lynn finding a super-tall, half-japanese big to share a desk with in her first class is fun, but more than that, I love that Heather embodies Lynn's adventurous side, while Alena shares Lynn's creative and artistic side. I see romantic potention between Lynn and either, and while I think Alena and Lynn would make a cute couple, I think Heather's height and active nature would make for a dangerous and wonderful pairing.
Melanie seems like a nice-enough touchstone for Jackie if she needs to get away from bigs to reconnect with people her size (spiritually), and Pierce has both drive and boyfriend potential. Michelle is a character with a lot of potential, either to go the way of antagonist or villain, or else to figure out what the tinies need, and grow as a person.
I need to see more of Javi to get a good sense of him, but I'm leaning towards semi-aware player.
Your details are on point. Lynn's tiny pouch in Jackie's shoulder strap is absolutely adorable. Four-limbed Spiders is a rockin' name for a mini-metal band. I'm a little concerned that Alpha-Beta-Phi-Gamma's parties are literally killer for some of the tiny students, but that's likely me projecting all the sorority size stories I've read. I hope. Lynn diving to save her breasts cracked me up. Great scene.
Now that my session has timed out twice, the review is done and I'm moving straight on to chapter 2 - everyone trying to side-track me be damned.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm excited to see you enjoying the sequel, and hope I can continue to deliver. Jackie and Lynn are characters I've been dying to write for a long time now. I had them mostly figured out all the way back around chapter 6 or so of Mixing Sizes, and I'm so happy that I can finally write their story.
The supporting cast were much more recent creations, most of them having gone (and some still going through) many revisions. In terms of the size of the cast, this is going to be my most ambitious story yet (amount of cast, not literal size. I need to be more clear about that given what kind of smut I'm writing here). There'll be the core cast of characters, the ones we see pop up regularly throughout each chapter, but I'll also be populating this world with all sorts of folks with all sorts roles and relations. Seeing your takes on each character, I seem to be doing well enough in characterizing them so far, so that's a relief.
It wouldn't be a size story set in college without some sort of sorority shenanigans, now would it? Literally killing is against the law but there are plenty of activities that dwell in a sweet, ambiguous grey zone mwehehehe.
[Report This]Date: December 19 2023 4:58 AM Title: Ch 1. New Faces
Love this sm!
Author's Response:
Thank you!