You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: May 11 2010 2:12 PM Title: Chapter 2: Alyssa

Chapter 2 needs a lot of re-editing, to separate the dialogue from the text. Otherwise? Not too bad.

Reviewer: aaron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 10 2010 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 2: Alyssa

hmmm... riveting chapter.
on to chapter 3

aaron

Reviewer: bizyboy00 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 10 2010 9:53 PM Title: Chapter 2: Alyssa

Amazing story!  Keep up the great work!

You must login (register) to review.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.