[Report This]Date: September 15 2013 4:55 PM Title: One step at a time
I can see your writing skills have improved Greyfox, and although I cannot tell which parts were re-written I felt that this version is better than the one you originally posted.
However I do have a sugestion. I believe the story would flow much smoother if you Condensed your sentences into structured paragraphs.
Welcome back Greyfox also known as Strongkobayashi85
Author's Response:
I will keep it in mind ^^
Well I overworked the entire first chapter added several things and kept some as it was just yeah wrote it again ^^
The other parts will follow soon and then I continue it then. I want to write in a few scenes I hadnt thought on before :)
Date: April 29 2013 12:56 AM Title: One step at a time
This sounds like a knock off of Terminator
Author's Response:
I wont lie about this since I am a huge fan of the movies but you have to admit that those machines were a pretty logical idea if you want to hunt humans :P
[Report This]Date: July 10 2011 10:34 PM Title: One step at a time
a good start. the plot to this story is remarkable. an i hope to read more.
aaron
Author's Response:
thanks and sorry for my late reply ^^ I try to get the next part done in the next couple of days
[Report This]Date: July 10 2011 10:44 AM Title: One step at a time
Oh hai,
Ah, my first review from my long break from giantessworld, sorry I'm in a wierd mood today. I don't come here as often as I used to/should do.
I'm really enjoying your story. There were a couple grammar mistakes I noticed but it's nothing to worry about. It sounds a bit like one of SolarCrimson's story where giantess aliens invade but one is traiter but unlike his I hope you find the time to regularly update it. I shall be adding you to be favourit authors because I have high hopes and I needed soem insperation. Speaking of irregular updates, I need to complete my own incomplete story.
If you want me to point out the errors I found I can proofread it for you but it's not that important.
Author's Response:
I'm sorry for my late answer.
I'm happy that people like this piece ^^ and yeah I know I have problems with the grammar ^^; But I hope they weren't so fierce that it killed the story.
I havent read the story you mentioned from Solar Crimson but I wil take a look at it and i try my best to post the next part in the next few days.
So then ^^ see ya around and thanks for the comment