[Report This]Date: December 09 2012 11:58 AM Title: Chapter 1
This is awesome. It so needs to happen in real life.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2012 10:14 AM Title: Chapter 1
One of your best stories so far i think, together with part I of the school of civil service. And one of the best stories on this site i think.
I like how you slowly build up the story with lots of attention to details and mood setting.
Keep up the good work. Looking forward to chapter 2.
[Report This]Date: December 24 2011 4:19 AM Title: Chapter 1
Great story! I cannot wait to see what happens next! You are keeping me spellbound.
Date: December 19 2011 5:36 AM Title: Chapter 1
Well, Doorknob, (strange title) I have already started on the third chapter of my revision. It's given the main title and recognition of your authorship, and the heading for this part is:- The Day of Reckoning. Perhaps you may not acknowledge or wish to see what I've written, but you have my address so I shall leave it to you to decide. I would like to say that it's not often I have the pleasure of enhancing a story on this site, but yours has inspired me.
Although it's a pleasure for any writer to receive reviews/comments, it's also a pleasure to receive a reply.
Date: December 16 2011 3:36 AM Title: Chapter 1
Ah, my friend, I must apologise for my impetuousness. I'm so glad you did not take offence. I really did enjoy the first part as it had that certain piquancy that others do not contain. My intention of rewriting that chapter is for my pleasure, and mayhap I shall send to a couple of my acquaintances, and perhaps even to yourself if you are acceptable.
The subject of vore (only practiced by females of course) is so terribly exciting - something that puzzles me, and yet there are so many opinions thereof.
If you are interested, or merely curious, you may like to contact me at:- as015b1810@blueyonder.co.uk You would be most welcomed.
In the meanwhile, I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
Date: December 15 2011 5:20 AM Title: Chapter 1
I see that you are ignoring my previous 2 messages which means you do not like being advised. I don't really care. However, I'm rewriting the best chapter so that the girl will shrink her "purchase" to only 2 to 3 feet in oder to obtain some sexual satisfaction and therefore make the story more exciting than it is.
Author's Response:
Banfield, I was not ignoring your comments, I did not get a chance to read them until tonight. Your comments are very helpful and I appreciate the constructive criticisms immensely. I'm still fairly new to writing stories so I appreciate the learning curve that goes into it. In fact, I understand the shortfalls these stories may have, and you pointed them out correctly. There are areas where I am looking to improve so any advice is very welcome.
Date: December 12 2011 5:11 AM Title: Chapter 1
Ah, Doorknob, I have just found pt 2. Again, a good yarn, but I feel I must comment again; this time, about the swallowing act. I've spoken about this to other members of the GTS Fraternity - that swallowing anything, like an oyster or a tablet, one cannot acqire any taste whatsoever, so where does the "taste" come from? So, in my opinion, and most of my stories, the shrunken victims are EATEN - that is, sucked and chewed up (masticated) and therefore TASTED.
I also find that the lack of describing the females' appearance tends to lose a lot of excitement in a story, plus the erotica. So there, may I invite you to read one or two of my stories - in particular, "Nothing goes to Waste"?
P.S. Don't forget, it should be Miss Jane, not Mrs.
Date: December 12 2011 4:40 AM Title: Chapter 1
Hello Doorknob, I have just read the two parts of The Women's Republic and found the story very good indeed. I would comment on several grammatical errors - one in particular that I see quite often - is the word "wiggling" which should be WRIGGLING with an 'r'. However, would you let me know if there is a 2nd part to your interesting yarn because you have jumped to "Chapter 3"
I copied the two parts onto my documents and changed Mrs Jane to Miss Jane as being married in your futuristic novel would be quite inappropriate.
I do hope you will reply.