[Report This]Date: September 18 2012 7:46 PM Title: Titanium
Aaaaaw. So the human trusts her. That's great! I really love this story so far. Is this your first? I cannot remember. It's hard to make long chapters on your first story. I should know.
Author's Response:
Yes, this is my first.
[Report This]Date: September 18 2012 2:39 PM Title: Titanium
I like this story so far, and I'd love to see more. These two characters are easy to relate to, even if we don't know their names yet, lol. And I am curious to see how it's going to end for them.
So far the chapters spell Cr-I-Ti, so I'm guessing ( maybe I'm wrong) that the next one will be Carbon ;-)
Author's Response:
I was really excited to see a review from an amazing author like you, Malaka! I'm trying really hard to improve my writing with this story.
Date: September 18 2012 1:21 PM Title: Titanium
It's a shame the chapters are so short, because I really like your story so far. I would say add more detail but the surroundings have already been eastablished, so there's nothing much to say there as nothing has changed. Perhaps more emotional details, thoughts too. I'll admit, writing in first person can be a challenge. Sometimes I feel I go over the top with the description. Not on here I don't think, but with stories on other sites, though I don't think you'd be interested in fanfiction.
Author's Response:
I'm working hard on making emotion very descriptive in my future chapters. I'm sorry they're so short! Ha ha. I'm disappointed with myself about that as well, but I'm trying to remedy that.