[Report This]Date: December 09 2012 11:57 AM Title: Chapter 8: Insanity Proposal
Seeing you write a story with more brief chapters has been really interesting as the weight of each word is alot more meaningful. You have a relatively descriptive style of writing so i always thought that you would be hard pressed to write shorter story with more brief chapters however, you have been proving me wrong.
The way you elegantly weave a story is masterful. As you have a very nice way of describing the scenes fully with using very few words which is a talent hard to master.
The main flaw i notice about your stories is you never really redeliver any descriptive traits of your characters as you continue through a story. This can be helpful to a reader especially when you have multiple characters and weeks and days inbetween chpaters. It helps recreate the full picture of the character.
However, overall this was another enjoyable chapter the fact that this coming to an end in just one more is kind of sad. It's been fun to read. The janie character comes off really normal and typical which is perfect and the sister comes off like a slightly more balanced version of carly.
Thanks for sharing
Author's Response:
thank you for your kind words, asuka. you are right that i normally like to elaborate a bit more on chapters, but i wanted to give a shot to writing something quicker and more convenient for readings for people who don't have the time to sit around and read every word of the massive chapteres i sometimes put out. i do try to redeliver character traits in subtle ways, although i admit that that was kind of lost in this one, so i'll be sure to fix up the final chapter a bit more in that regard. thanks again for the rating/review
[Report This]Date: December 09 2012 10:07 AM Title: Chapter 8: Insanity Proposal
Scott can't deny that this is a very tempting offer, as I can see that he is clearly being greatly affected physically and psychologically by the harsh treatment of his mother and even his little sister.
Not to mention the exciting feeling of being together with a cute young girl like Janie slowing dominating him, he may seem to resist but after that kiss and other things that may happen I don't think his strength will last long. At leat she isn't domineering like his mother and little sister, maybe he can have a better life with her indeed. She may really like and love him. A different life, being a small human 'boyfriend' that belongs to a young girl, maybe she could start to see him differently after a while, as a little pet or something else, she will be his 'owner' after all. But love can also be a dangerous feeling.
On the other hand, despite his mother being extremely rough, all she wants is to raise him properly like she believes is right, as the previously chapters I could see she really loves him in her own way and wouldn't want to see him being harmed by others. If he plays by his mother rules and be a good boy, not calling bad names, pushing his little sister and other things she dissaproves (many rightly) he woulnd't be forced to be shrunken against his will. Seeing now, she was never 'unfair' with him, only punishing when she thought he really 'deserved' that to learn about his wrong doings. Even if in a very harsh way. Well, It's the law after all, she can! :P Heh
Author's Response:
i always appreciate your philosophical breakdown reviews of my stories, you consistently get almost exactly the vibe i was going for. thanks for reading/reviewing!
[Report This]Date: December 08 2012 4:17 PM Title: Chapter 8: Insanity Proposal
As always I've really enjoyed your writing style an dialog in this story but I just can't seem to get past the fact that the girls are so young. But at the same time this is your story an I'm glad you posted it. Also love his size, 2" is my all-time favorites size for a shrunken tiny.
aaron