[Report This]Date: December 02 2013 11:37 PM Title: Chapter 13...A Divine Childhood
Like daughter like mother.. Mean kids those folks are rearing up.. Mean kids indeed! :)
Date: December 01 2013 4:53 PM Title: Chapter 13...A Divine Childhood
So, first i want to say that I love this story. The way each member of the family are worshiped as gods by this tiny civilization is pretty epic (I wonder what they consider them the gods of?). The way even the baby children were basically worshipped was interesting too, "A Divine childhod" is a great title BTW.
As much as I love this chapter about the kids, I have a complaint. Did you really just have a time skip of 18 years in one chapter? First this means you had to rush through the kids childhoods, which is a disservice considering giant children growing up in a toy sized world worshipped as gods could make its own story (maybe you can make a side story about vaious childhood adventures. Secondly, are you saying that all four adult giants did nothing for 18 years? Not even the cold war oon Earth had 18 years of no action. There must have been diplomacy, proxy wars, arms races, skirmishes, SOMETHING going on throughout this time.
Also the huge time skip ruined Nick and Amy's character development. THey went from teens to adults, with barely a mention.
I feel like this chapter should have been spread over several.
Author's Response:
Well first of all i do enjoy critisism. It helps me become a better writer. To address your concerns...
1. It didn't skip 18 years it was 14. This was done for a few reasons. The way the beginning of the next chapter is going to be told is through 2 flashbacks. Not to give away too much, both kids are going to have to deal with some life issues that come back to haunt them, especially Rachel.
2. The adults couldn't do anything during that time because they had no army to speak of. Instigating a conflict would have been a MAD situation. Diplomacy...hmm...how do you negotiate with someone hellbent on enslaving and eating your people? Arms race? Well seeing that Nick had to build artillary and tanks to defend his country that was met pretty good especially with the grand finale chapter coming (hint hint). Our cold war did have proxy wars (Korean, Vietnam, Afghanistan (1980's)) but in story's world there's only 4 countries. Not even close to having enouth for that. What happening on this level is North/South Korea cold war. As you will see next chapter there were skirmishes but the latest one will signal the end to this stalemate.
3. As for the Nick and Amy being kinda in the background is to show the gradual change of them from being main characters to side ones showing them grooming their son to take over Arcadia. Same for Rachel. But over the next 2 chapters, the parents of the kids will be center stage especially Nick and Mike.
Date: November 30 2013 10:04 AM Title: Chapter 13...A Divine Childhood
This story is amazing. Honestly every time I see you've updated it I get excited. Great work!
Author's Response:
Thanks!