[Report This]Date: April 28 2014 5:14 AM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
Holy crap this is such an amazing story! I've only read the first chapter and already I'm hooked! The idea of having a guy who can't get hurt otherwise he'll shrink is so unique and clever! I can't wait to see how the rest of this story unflolds! And by the way, the drawings are awesome! :)
[Report This]Date: February 18 2014 12:04 AM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
I just started reading this, and I'd like to let you know that the first chapter is pretty sold.
Your dialogue is probably your biggest strength. The conversations flow well, and fit the scene perfectly. Its also well thought out as there were clearly two distinct personalities speaking, instead of the same voice being called different people like a lot of stories.
Over all Excellent work Antboy94, your a good writer and I look foward to reading more of this when I can.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the compliments! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, considering it's only going to get better :)
[Report This]Date: February 17 2014 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
As said, here's a review!
Liking the characters! Michelle, Stacy, Joe, Lisa, Cale & Fisher, Freeman's pretty cool, (this last one I had to convince myself but) and finally Giada.
Clever idea, a family related genetic mutation, unlocked by pain. Now, is it just physical pain? I believe you would like to keep it that way but pain is a sense sent out by the brain and the devastation of an emotional attack can register pain in a different but altogether same way. I know i'm getting deep here but it's an idea, blurb, suggestion, theory, take it whatever way you want.
Fisher is probably my favorite character. I don't know why, he just is. And his little (emphasis on "little") crush on Beverly is a nice touch considering she is pretty much the only woman he sees on a daily basis.
All in all, a good story if maybe just a teensy weensy bit fast paced!
(I have the same problem myself)
Author's Response:
Haha, didn't expect Dr. Fisher to be such a hit, but then again, I didn't really see this story going past the first chapter, yet here we are! I try and do the best I can with pacing myself, but I do tend to rush it once in a while, I'll admit to that.
Interesting theory, the idea of emotional pain. I will say that it plays a role in keeping him small, but whether or not it can actually induce the shrinking... Let's keep on moving forward.
Thanks for the review!
Date: February 15 2014 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
I loved the chapter, very sexy. But I kinda didn't like that you time-skipped over the part of the sex...Especially if there was insertion, which it seems like there was since Joe mentions bodily fluids. Anyway, thats my only complaint, everything else was spot on.
Author's Response:
Haha I was expecting that. Trust me though, I dd what I do for reasons.
[Report This]Date: February 05 2014 12:08 PM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
Your story is coming along pretty good. I like the interaction and relationship between the characters. Play it right and you could be on your way to a classic. You're going at a pretty good pace too. Never having to wait too long before the next chapter. The coming chapters look like they'll be interesting.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the support! Unfortunately, the speed of my chapter-posting will probably decrease, as I'm writing this on my own while also attending college.
Date: February 02 2014 6:44 PM Title: Chapter 1: The truth comes out
Great story so far. Can't waIt to see more.