[Report This]Date: August 27 2015 11:27 PM Title: Opportunity
please finish this story!!!
Date: September 13 2014 3:11 PM Title: Opportunity
I think I know where this is going but it would be really cool if you swerved and left me shocked. I like where you're setting this up and really hope Sarah doesn't become a victim even though it looks like she will.
Date: April 18 2014 3:07 PM Title: Opportunity
What you've got isn't bad, however I hve noticed that you tend t switch between past and present tense words. Also, the summary just one long sentence. I feel the summary you've got currently isn't good enough for the story you have. Not only that, you mention the name of the company before having actually introduced it. When looking at the summary I don't think readers care about the finer details. It's there to give people an idea of what they're getting themselves into, or in other words, sum up the story.
Author's Response:
HMM! Well, I find it to be appropriate to switch between past and present tense words for purposes of narration in certain circumstances.
Is it? My apologies, I never was to good at writing summaries. I'll actually have to look into editing that. Though, I do feel it gives people a decent idea of what they're getting into or at least the initial points of the story.
As for the mentioning of the company, I perhaps wrongly assumed most people following up on this story would have already been following my first posted story 'Trouble in the Disco,' which is based within the same universe and usually updated in similar timing.
At any rate, I appreciate and thank you for your review!
[Report This]Date: April 14 2014 5:30 PM Title: Opportunity
We already know that Cosmolex is a scary organization, and Trapped suggests that she's in for a world of trouble. Your reply, however, makes it sound like she could become a powerful member of the organization. Keep writing so that we can find out.
Author's Response:
>:3
I certainly shall! In fact, I'm already up to chapter 6. But I want to release it one chapter at a time so that I can have greater time to write and edit future chapters. Though, I'm considering releasing chapter 2 tonight.
At any rate, I'm glad to hear that the story is perking your interests! I wouldn't want to reveal what direction it might take, but I'm hoping I don't disappoint!
Thanks as always for the review! Your reviews are always entertaining to read and reply to.
Date: April 14 2014 2:44 PM Title: Opportunity
it's off to a good start. after reading that last sentence I think everyone but Sarah knows nothing good can come from that decision. or who knows maybe some good can come out of it?
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it!
Lmao, oh yes, I would say all of us on the outside would agree its likely not a good idea. >_>''
But who knows! I wouldn't want to reveal anything. Maybe it will turn out fantastically for her.
Thanks for the review!
Date: April 14 2014 10:50 AM Title: Opportunity
You've got my attention, looking forward to seeing where it goes.
Author's Response:
Glad to hear it and thanks for the review! :D