[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 2:43 PM Title: Pieces
Damn you and your plot twist, let the poor girl rest! ;)
Author's Response:
She can rest when she's dead! O_O
No, that was not foreshadowing.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 2:33 PM Title: Pieces
Well the cats outta the bag now! I can't blame Lexi for hating on Omegas right now, especially Bridget. Is that Kayla at the end there? Anyway. I gotta give credit where credit is due...
Nathanial is a fucking boss. He crapped on an entire organization full of mountain sized powerhouses, and didn't even give an inch during the interrogation—even at threat of his own death!
I can't really say he was the villan either because if anything, he's had the most screwed up backstory outta every character in the series! I could easily see myself in his shoes if I had it like him...
Still, I think there is something fundementally wrong with the way Aegis handles things if a couple of betas with a grudge can stir shit up to this degree!
Great chapter though! I'm a little sad to see this story reaching it's final chapter but it was a hell of a ride while it lasted!
Author's Response:
It's indeed outta the bag. I didn't necessarily intend for Nathaniel to be thought of as villainous. He's the antagonist, for certain, but his extremely troubled backstory is meant to at least provide some reasoning for what he does. Thanks for reviewing!
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 2:06 PM Title: Disorientation
Phew....halfway to full closure. So far, I'm satisfied, but I won't fully be until Bridget and Lexi finally interact.
@Kusanagi, I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree. I think he did what he did for more than one reason--yes, he does believe that he's doing Betas all over a favor, and hell, he might even be right in many ways. But at the same time, what happened to him also scarred him considerably, and he likely chose Lexi, in spite of her complete innocence, because even if she's the only reason her parents got justice, she's still the only one there on that terrible night that's within his reach (Alma being locked away). Not to mention the fact that he's probably very spiteful that she was able to come out of it all in one piece, unscarred for the most part (Lexi didn't have much of a relationship with her mother, but Nathaniel likely had a very loving one, and she was taken from him), while he wasn't able to (AEGIS probably wasn't even there for him like they were for Lexi).
Yes, he could've targeted a much more deserving Alpha, but, well. Nathaniel is a flawed, probably even a bit mentally unstable person, which is understandable given what he went through.
Anyway, it'll be interesting to see what Kayla has to say, but I think the absolute meat of the last chapter needs to be Lexi and Bridget, maybe Bridget and other Omegas, too, to really show how this has shaken AEGIS to the core (though Kayla can speak to that, too, hell, she might even reconsider a lot of things because of this).
I was almost hoping Lexi would get the chance to confront Nathaniel, and then refuse to do anything to him in retribution, because she refuses to be the monster that Nathaniel (and everyone else for a time) thought she was.
@Jacksmith, would it be too much to ask for the final chapter to come out before the next installment of Time-out 6? I know you usually alternate, but seeing as we're at the end, here, for this story, maybe you can make an exception, but it's ultimately your decision. I know I can't be the only one wanting full closure, even if it's bittersweet (as much as I want closure, I also hate seeing a good story end...but that's what good stories do, and what bad stories don't--good stories end.)
Thanks for the excellent series. It's rekindled a bit of a lost love for good stories in me, just because they're so rare and hard to find these days.
Author's Response:
Oh so close! Good points on your response to Kusanagi. It's important to remember that Lexi's history with Nathaniel was a big help in convincing people that she might've had motive for what happened, so it was a real boon to Nathanie's plan.
Interesting theories about the end chapter; you will see what happens soon. I'm hesitant to break up the alternating pattern, but I think I could still put up the last chapter sooner than previous posts have taken. Thanks for your comments!
Date: October 19 2014 1:38 PM Title: Pieces
Kind of have mixed views on this chapter. I love the guilt with bridget and her mom, I love Alexandra's slow recovery and bitterness. However I just can't get Nathaniel's reasoning at all.
If he had just done it for revenge, fine. If he had done it as some statement that all Alphas were evil and needed to be done away with, fine. But to acknowledge that Lexi had nothing to do with his parent's murder, and was completely innocent, yet still say he was protecting Betas is insane. Granted that might have been the point but it left me with a sour tast in my mouth.
Author's Response:
I can see where you're coming from in that Lexi is good to Betas. Ultimately a combination of Nathaniel's emotional hurt over that night with his parents, and the threat to Betas with Corey's attack, override that fact. It's a response in kind to the fact that a fiercely protected Beta was able to be hurt by an Alpha; now, a fiercely protected Alpha has been hurt. In in the eyes of Nathaniel and his friends, it shows what the class is capable of.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 12:40 PM Title: Pieces
Excellent chapter especially with the Nathaniel guy. That scene was perfect. Now as for Alexandra's intruder... At first I thought it was her mom but then I thought nah that's too easy. And then I think its Bridget because at the end of her interrogation she did look at the camera and say "I'm done" which could mean she doesn't want the omega "gift" any longer if it means never seeing Alexandra again...(far fetched absolutely but still possible) However now that I think about it, its probably just some random woman we've never met and couldn't possibly have guessed correctly haha(you could throw that in just to screw with us).
At any rate, fantastic chapter and I cant wait to see what happens next.
aaron
PS I appreciate the fact that you are one of the few authors who actually responds to every review(at least all mine) and I commend you for that. Too many authors beg for reviews and either rarely respond or they pick and choose who they respond to. Just wanted you to know that I appreciate.
Author's Response:
Interesting thoughts on who it is; it'll be shown soon enough. And I hope I'm not mean enough to just throw someone in as a tease. Thanks for reading. Sure thing for the responses; particularly when people take the time to not just say what they thought but also analyze the content of a chapter, I always enjoy entering into a little conversation with them.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2014 12:24 PM Title: Pieces
Lady with glowing eyes ? Obviously Kayla, shrunken down to Alpha size. I hope she's not gonna easily convince Lexi to stay, that would make her a real Deus Ex Machina (pun totally intended :P )
From the first part of the chapter, the "Dont. Touch. Me" was really powerful. She's in agony but she still manages to spit out those 3 words at Bridget ? Ouch ! Uppercut to the gut !
Lexi wanting to flee far away is also a very natural reaction.
As for the rest, in good parts, I agree with Nathaniel. That's actually a thing we talked about with other readers and I made that point then : if Aegis/Omegas truly wanted all Betas to be safe, they could make it so instantly. All they would have to do would be to build Beta-only cities and protect them. Forbid any (unsupervised) interaction between Alphas and Betas. There, problem solved.
But of course, that wouldn't feed Kayla's ego, who, despite claiming she's not a god and doesn't see herself that way, still plays God by trying to force Alphas and Betas to live together in harmony. With lethal consequences for the latter group (be it voluntary harm or accident). In Abigail's words to describe Kayla : "The woman who was the living embodiment of evolution itself, that supreme force of will that guided all progress. All life. The woman who had set the course for humanity for millennia to come."
So I agree with Nathaniel : Omegas, and especially Kayla, say they want to protect Betas, they might even genuinely believe that but that's not true. They want to impose a new model for all Humanity, no matter how many Betas get killed in the process. And of course, that gives them a twisted justification for their torture sessions against Alpha offenders.
Author's Response:
I see where you're coming from with your points on the Omegas, though I'd say it seems more like Kayla would be playing God to dictate where people have to live apart from and who they can interact with. She doesn't force anyone to live together; this is just one city, so there are assuredly places a Beta could travel in the world where they'd encounter fewer Alphas. The point for all this is to eventually have peace, rather than just keeping a conflict from breaking out again. I appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Date: October 19 2014 11:27 AM Title: Pieces
Must be Kayla , she apparently mastered size changing.
Author's Response:
I guess we'll find out.
[Report This]Date: October 16 2014 3:06 PM Title: Disorientation
I'd definitely echo sithlordnergal--the situation is about as horrible as it could possibly be (well, almost), and not just for Bridget and Lexi.
This whole situation should shake and rattle AEGIS and the Omegas to their very core; it is really, really hard to understate what a colossal failure of the system this has been.
They've taken someone who is arguably what they can only wish and dream every Alpha in the world was like, and subjected her to absolutely horrifying punishments that would leave any normal person with severe psychological and especially emotional scarring (seriously, how was giving her to Bridget a good idea, Hart? Even if Lexi did it, either Bridget goes too easy on her, or it's a far too traumatic experience for both Alpha and Omega than it ever should've been). AEGIS has literally done the exact polar opposite of its mission. I don't think I can come up with a worse failure than this--this will likely always be the absolute nadir in AEGIS, maybe even Omega, history.
If I was in Lexi's shoes, though, I know I would've been absolutely incredulous at Bridget's reaction; Bridget being so quick to start punishing her, obviously believing whole-heartedly that Lexi had done this, but when Lexi actually 'confesses', she refuses to believe it, even when it comes from the proverbial horse's mouth? Bridget claims she 'knows' Lexi well enough to know that the Alpha's explanation 'couldn't be true', yet, again, started with brutally humiliating punishment the second she brings Lexi home. I suppose maybe it has something to do with "the Fire" inside Omegas.
I do appreciate the foreshadowing and such, though, especially with this latest chapter hearkening back to the memory of the two building a dam and Bridget saving Lexi from the river. Very well-crafted. I really hope the next chapter comes out ASAP, I seriously need to start getting some closure on this story.
Author's Response:
It's an ugly situation, to put it generously. I appreciate your comment in particular on Bridget's reaction; I definitely intended for it to be sort of a catch-22. Even when Lexi admits what she's been ordered to, Bridget can't accept it, because she's just as trapped by all this, albeit not quite as physically painfully. And good catch as well on the return to the dam. There will be closure soon!
Date: October 16 2014 12:44 PM Title: Surrender
awesome story so far
Author's Response:
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: October 14 2014 12:56 AM Title: Surrender
My God I have waited on this chapter.
They better be waiting on this girl hand and foot. I demand retribution.v lol
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! And there will be some apologies to deliver to Alexandra, to say the least.
[Report This]Date: October 13 2014 1:29 AM Title: Surrender
Son of a bitch...I think you may have topped yourself.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing!
[Report This]Date: October 12 2014 6:30 PM Title: Disorientation
I'd like to see Bridget be accountable for her actions(whether its her job or not to punish alphas). I'd like to see her lose her omega size and be bumped down to alpha status. However I don't see that happening because of the simple fact that omegas are omnipotent. Or at least the omega Kayla(I think that's her name) would step in and somehow handle this situation for the benefit of all sizes and not just the omegas.
But I agree with another poster where the betas seem to be helpless and the alphas are mostly evil while the omegas are immortal gods. I'd like to see a power shift...
aaron
PS these are just my thoughts, not a request or anything.
Author's Response:
Hehe. You're right that Bridget won't be bumped down to Alpha, and that Kayla may have something to say about it all.
Date: October 12 2014 6:29 PM Title: Disorientation
Author's Response:
Excellent; this was the plan all along.
[Report This]Date: October 12 2014 6:15 PM Title: Surrender
Yes, nice and ugly. Hope she's not dead.
Author's Response:
She's not. Thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: October 12 2014 6:12 PM Title: Surrender
Holy fuck on a stick.
You've really done it.
Author's Response:
Thanks!
Date: October 12 2014 6:10 PM Title: Disorientation
@Spooky, I'm quitting the Omega series after this, too much shit to rage about. Like Big Bang Theory, I will not allow myself to be so angry towards the so-called "heroes" of the series which can't die and have imposed a dictatorship where Betas are seen as helpless and Alphas are the evil ones.
[Report This]Date: October 12 2014 6:07 PM Title: Surrender
Ouch, ouch, ouch! How can there only be 2 chapters left? That's not long enough for Bridget and Lexi to heal. They'll need time. If they don't get time, that means the story will end with them on bad terms.
Oh, and Lexi had better not die. If she does, I quit the Omega series.
Actually, I'd prefer if Lexi did not become permanently injured either.
What I'm asking for is please, please no sad ending to this story. Ugh, that would kill me. And no bittersweet ending either. There are plenty of super sad chapters in this story so make the last one a happy one. I'll give you a better review if you do. :)
Author's Response:
Lexi is not going to die or even be permanently injured, especially not with the medical care they have available in this world. I can't promise a perfect sunshine and roses ending, but it won't all be as gloomy as the climax has made it appear. Thanks for reading!
Date: October 12 2014 3:49 PM Title: Disorientation
Oh god, the wait is going to be absolutely suffocating to find out what happens next--this is why I hate reading not-already-finished stories, especially great ones, but I can't help myself, and can only hope maybe the ending chapters get churned out at a quicker pace.
Echoing a below poster's concern, it's hard to see two chapters being able to clear everything up, and I hope it doesn't just skip over things/explain them with exposition isntead of showing what happens--there's nothing worse than a great story that trips at the finish line/ending. But perhaps those chapters will be much longer, don't know--you've gotten us this far, guess it's best to just give you the benefit of the doubt that you know what you're doing, story-wise. Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't voice concerns like this unless I thought the story was awesome.
Author's Response:
I do intend to get the ending out faster than some of the earlier chapters, so hopefully the wait won't be as bad. I know 2 doesn't seem like a lot for all the loose ends that need tying, but as you guessed, they are both fairly long, and I hope people are satisfied with them. Thanks for reading!
Date: October 12 2014 2:15 PM Title: Disorientation
@Nostory
I'd say if Bridget is guilty then Evelyn is just as guilty. I still can't believe these two were COMPLETELY convinced that Lexi did it. I don't think there was ever a time when the story EVEN suggested that there was even a doubt in their minds! If anything, Evelyn practically being Lexi's adoptive mother makes it worse coming from her than Bridget.
Author's Response:
You're right that it's not just on Bridget, and Evelyn is pretty bitter as well about it all.
[Report This]Date: October 12 2014 2:12 PM Title: Disorientation
Oh wow, this chapter really hurt, but in a good way. You did an amazing job conveying the emotions going on here. And the way you ended it was perferct. I honestly feel bad for Lexi and Bridget. Now, Bridget is not innocent here, not in the least. She should have been listening when Lexi repeatedly insisted on being innocent. That's not just because Lexi is her friend, but just something an Enforcer should do anyway. If a prisoner continues to claim innoccence no matter what, something is up. Either that person is nuts, or the investigation missed something. It was her job to find the actual truth, not force her truth on someone else.
Now for the actual events...those just really drive the knife in and twist them. The fact that she dropped Lexi really hits hard after re-reading the chapters and spotting a small three sentence section in chapter 7. For those who don't remember, here's Bridget's quote:
“Don’t be scared,” the Omega wheedled. “I’ve never ever let anybody fall.”
So, that already sets up the fact that Bridget took pride in the fact that she never drops people when she was younger, and I can't imagine that has changed any time soon. So, lets do a small tally here:
1: Bridget accidentally dropped, and broke the leg of her prisoner. Due to her being a top enforcer and is constantly described as a kind anf gentle person, I get the feeling that something like this would hurt Bridget normally, no matter who it happened to.
2: She gets to find out her prisoner was innocent all along, and her punishments were given to someone who did not deserve them. Again, due to Bridget being described as someone who adheres to justice and some sort of fairness, this would hurt her deeply. Or it should if she honestly holds things like justice as close to her heart as we've been led to believe.
3: Finally, all of this happened to her best friend, someone she sees as a sister, and she caused it.
If that doesn't break Bridget, then nothing will. And I don't get me started on poor Lexi. The Aegis corperation has a LOT to answer for. And honestly, I'm not sure how you'll be able to wrap this all up in two chapters. I mean, we have Lexi and what she's gone through (unless she dies from her injuries and is no longer part of the story), Bridget coming to terms with what she's done and her emotional response to it all, and what happens to the Beta that caused all this. Even id you don't do an epilogue that's a good three chapters there, unless, as I said, Lexi isn't featured in the end chapters.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading/reviewing! Glad you liked the end. Good work noticing that line as well; it's definitely meant to foreshadow the fall. Lexi and Bridget both have some healing to do, for sure. I know there's a lot to cover for the conclusion in 2 chapters, but everything that needs to be wrapped up will be.