[Report This]Date: October 29 2015 2:38 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Romance
There is something here, but the Alex/Elise switches are too frequent for the first-person to work for me. It's hard to remember which character is currently "I". IMO it would be much better in third-persion omniscient, so POV switches would not be so jarring.
Author's Response:
Ouch. 2/5 stars for POV switches? Seems like a pretty minor criticism, but apparently it made the story thoroughly unenjoyable for you. Thanks for your feedback, I guess.
[Report This]Date: May 31 2015 2:28 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Romance
Awesome story. I love the how it started and i feel connected with the characters.
Date: May 30 2015 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Romance
Brilliant, the chapter isn't unimportant, it captures a lot of the emotions our characters feel and fleshes them out. I believe every chapter is important or at least should be, even sexy time can be used to develop the story along.
Plus we know now that the virus seems to impart a strong protective instinct towards the female infected when the object of their affection is under threat.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm really glad you found it helpful. Romance is something of a guilty pleasure for me as a guy, but I feel that I'm not very good at writing a woman's POV. I tried to make an effort here though. The next several chapters will not be quite so sappy, but who knows what will happen with Alex and Elise.
Date: May 30 2015 3:30 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Romance
Ah~, to see your story resurface is a thing of beauty only overshadowed by this chapter. As I've said previously, I find your writing to be excellently done, and that I very much enjoy your main characters. Elise and Alex are simply love incarnate, and I think very highly of you for doing a well done romance scene. I also found the chapter to be somewhat reminiscent of the story, "Balancing of the Sexs", in the way of their attractions to others, and the dismisal that they place on one lover only. I hope your story stays in the mainstream until my selfishly dire-need to read it has been quelled.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your comment! I'm unworthy of such praise, but I'm very happy folks are enjoying the story. I do plan to be a bit more active here in releasing updates than I was after the first. To be honest, it was a rather nice feedback email sent to me from a forum member that prompted me to get my butt in gear and continue with the story. Small kids and a busy job are not easy to juggle while writing in my spare time, but I will try to continue updates as much as possible. I have so many more ideas for this story I could see it going for some time.