Dude; you really need to rewrite ALL these chapters! Double-space separation between each paragraph, and especially between the narrative text and the character dialogue. Because, quite frankly, with an eye-straining mess like this, it was a minor miracle that you got even one review. Let alone, the first three!

Author's Response:

Oh wow, I didn't even notice. I've been writing this in my phone. I copy and paste onto the website. I didn't realize it wasn't keeping my spacing and indents and stuff. Thanks for telling me, I'll get to work on fixing that. Sorry about that, I didn't even notice it.