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Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: October 19 2015 8:02 AM Title: Chapter 1

A little bit better.

Reviewer: FreemanCD Signed starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: October 10 2015 10:27 PM Title: Chapter 1

The writing just doesn't do it for me. It's not convincing enough. Sorry man.

Author's Response:

What do you mean? And yeah, sorry this is my first story, it's mostly experimental, seeing what works what doesn't? But what do you mean by its not convincing enough? I'd like to know so I can improve it.

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