Date: May 15 2016 12:30 AM Title: Chapter 45
@Duggernaut.
You're doing a great job so far. The characters still feel like real human beings. And the story develops at a good pace. Caution about how much power you give a person. If she has the power to make people forget on a whim, than it can be used all the time and some people don't have to face the consequences for their actions.
[Report This]Date: May 11 2016 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 45
First paragraph needs some work. "Sound causing Michael to start". Haha! It sounds funny but I know you mean startle.
Second part is that you say "evil empire..space movie". Really Duggernaut? Just say Star Wars. It's not some space movie. It's a masterpiece, and the soundtrack is pure gold.
Only reason I can see why u didn't plainly state the movie and song was becuase you like to give hints and stuff.
Lucie had the electric feeling last chapter, the phone call was just another delay. She feels the sensation again but I'm sure nothing sexy will be next chapter. You just love to tease us like that. :)
Damn! Lucie's mother sounds hot! She had a passion for using tinies for her pleasure?!!! A hot mom for a hot girl like Lucie?!! Man, I hope you have some flashback or side story because I would love to hear about Lucie's mother.
Yeah, Michael wants more than a kiss. Ha. He is just getting started!
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Lol yeah we both know the reference. Hmm I hadn't thought about Lucie's mother making an appearance but now...
[Report This]Date: May 11 2016 5:49 PM Title: Chapter 45
Nice chapter. Lucie and Michael bonding. But still in suspense what is happening at the Hearst home. ;)
Something has to go wrong at some point in Adelina's plan. Madison's idea of restoring Mirielle that fast is somewhat suspicious. The extent of Adelina's power is somewhat unclear. Shrinking curse, shape shifting and sharp senses are established. Wonder if Lucie's mother will make an appearance.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review. You're right the extent of Adelina's power or her motivations are unclear...for now.