[Report This]Date: May 15 2016 8:49 AM Title: Precautionary Measures
I'm really enjoying this story. The inital, limited perspective of Josh inside the shoebox builds good tension. The story reminds me, to some extent, of the story "Julia", also found here. Of course, the scenario is a classic one, but both you and the author of "Julia" execute it so well, and it is, after all, all about the execution.
Oh, and this line was gold!
-"...there is no way out of here, well except perhaps through me"
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to read this story and share a review. I love the double meaning of the line you referenced. I will check out Julia I have come across your moniker attached to some phenomenal digital animation and if you are one in the same your work is outstanding. I hope I can keep this story entertaining and engaging enough to keep your interest. :)
[Report This]Date: May 13 2016 8:31 PM Title: Precautionary Measures
Good Title choice.
Another good chapter, but I think you could have extended this one by making her start searching and then end the chapter when she reaches the shelf that Josh and Julian are hiding on. Now that would be a better cliffhanger in my opinion.
Josh should probably help Julian chew. Julian will get tired of chewing soon.
On a side note: Could Tom's story be updated every 2 days just like this story. I know that this story is more fresh and you probably have more ideas to write about. Or perhaps you can write Tom's story every 3 days. Hmm, that won't work. How about making the chapters a tad longer? A new perspective, more emotion, a joke here and there, someone thinking of a fantasy.
I ask that becuase I like the every other day update on this story. It makes these slow parts of a story more managable knowing that I can wait just 2 days to know what is coming next.
Especially if next chapter is like she searches the first 3 shelves, then the chapter after that would be the shelf that Josh is on, then the following chapter about her about to look at the orca. (I'm just joking. I'm sure there will be more action in the next few chapters.)
I can't wait for the next chapter!