Reviewer: Dante123113 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 27 2016 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 4: A Budding Interest

Okay, a few issues.
One- paragraphs. Whenever dialogue switches speakers, a new paragraph MUST be started, no matter the length. This is why you occasionally see two or three word dialogues in separate paragraph in professional writing. You must also start a new paragraph for various other reasons, please look them up. I had to do this myself, and it made my writing much better, although it probably won't be reflected on giantessworld.
Two- again with paragraphs. Just moving something like "She quickly stood up" to the next paragraph makes it MUCH easier to comprehend.
Three- what about the first time he was held? It would have been very bumpy, as no one can hold their hand perfectly level and not moving slightly. Matt would have most likely experienced movement similar to earthquakes the first time he was held.

Despite these things, I really enjoyed the story so far! It looks very promising, and I am anticipating another chapter soon! Keep up the good work, and always strive to write better!