[Report This]Date: May 28 2020 8:07 PM Title: Chapter 17: Wrath
Ooh hoo hoo sihil's a brave little brat. I'm going to guess by that screamed "diciti" she was demanding teagan explain herself.
I do love me some Sihil dialogue, however I'm just as much gunning for the "Old Lands" of the tomkins and humans in slavery.
I'm unlike Teagan in the fact that despite my enjoyment for feeling tiny people squirm around and suffer from being digested, entertainment is more important. (DANCE MONKEY DANCE) (Except I suspect this is only because I'm living life in a first world country, if I lived a life, for example, exhausting myself farming from dawn to dusk, I'd probably also shove food sources in my face with little thought).
A slight criticism, though take it with a grain of salt. The vore scenes seem pretty... um... repetitive. All playing out the same way. Teagan catches handful of tomkins-->tomkins squirm and cry-->Teagan smiles and shoves them all in her mouth and the tomkins cry and scream as each one is funneled down her throat.
Also aren't the tomkins like 2-3 inches or so? Girl must have a hell of a control on her throat and mouth muscles if a writhing mass of 4+ of those things doesn't accidentally slip down her throat and choke her to death.
Author's Response:
And, to be honest, yeah, I'm tragically uninspired whwhen writing most of the violent interaction between Teagan and the tomkins. I appreciate the criticism a lot, since it's definitely going to help me think about writing less repetitive stuff in the future.
Oh, and as far as tomkin height goes, I'll be honest - I'm not that great with visualizing size - but I imagine them to be around the size of chess pieces, with younger ones being pawn-sized and adults being more, like, well, any of the other pieces, really. A quick search shows that my numbers are a bit wonky, but I want to keep a perfect balance between small enough to be individually helpless and large enough to be threatening in numbers. I can't make things too easy for Teagan ;)
As always, thank you for the review, and again, the criticism is much appreciated! It's really helpful to me, since I have a hard time noticing these details on my own.