Date: November 16 2017 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
I'm torn on this story. To me, it's interesting enough to keep reading, but the lack of significant action keeps me only liking it, instead of loving it.
Can't have action all the time but don't worry here will be plenty more in the future
Date: November 08 2017 5:17 PM Title: Chapter 9: An Unwanted Visitor
There's something charming about Sammy that I love. Maybe it's the fact that you made her so realistic in terms of her personality. The envy she had for Leslie's dress was a nice way show Sammy's feminine side AND her desire to be normal again. Poor girl lost her father and ended up going down a dark road. When she stuck up that old man, I had some mix feelings about her though. We could clearly see Sammy isn't the greatest of individuals but she's far from the worst. You sir or ma'am have a way with character development. ;)
Thanks for the review, I needed to get Sammy with a crime that would get her a long stretch in prison but not something that was completely unforgivable. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoy the rest
Date: November 08 2017 10:47 AM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
Nice insight into Sammy's past and into giantess fans in this chapter.
Also nice to see that not everyone hates Sammy, which hopefully translates in Sammy getting a more warm pesonality towards others.
I also wonder if that Kaiju meat has something to do with Sammy's disease/transformation thingy
Oh, I also have a small request (but you don't have to implement it of course!): could you maybe sometimes add some more details that show that Sammy is really REALLY big?
Sammy seems to be quite intimidating, but sometimes it feels as if it could also be a 6ft Sammy. Examples of what I mean would be things breaking/shaking around in the streets / people blown to the side a bit by breath/unable to keep balance. These details are already present at some places, like when they started cooking food at the science facility when she arrived to make sure there was enough., but maybe adding them more frequently will make the story a bit better.
Thank you for writing! It was a good addition as always.
thanks for the response.
The meat gets tested before she consumes it, they are quite careful
Ok, I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the tip.
Date: November 04 2017 8:51 AM Title: Chapter 8: Cornered
Wow, there is so much going on here. And all these story elements are so cool. Life and death consequences. Multi-layered character interaction. Scheming politicians. And now a medical mystery with scientists against the wall. You really know how to weave a great yarn.
Sammy is still complex and developing as a character. She seems to be softening in some ways but getting more interesting as a person. I didn’t really like the idea of her “hulking out” at first, but when her thoughts of Charlie triggered it, my heart kinda melted. Nice work.
I still think you are missing opportunities to “up’ the drama and suspense with your hyper efficient prose, but the story is so solid and the characters are so good that it’s only a minor distraction.
I love the mosaic of characters and the fantastical situations. All the plots and subplots are forming up nicely. Really, really cool stuff.
Thank you for sharing this and happy national novel writing month.
Thanks for the feedback. It is much appreciated and I do hope that the story stays to your high standards.
Happy National Novel Writing Month to you too.
Date: November 01 2017 3:40 PM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
Hmmm denied beer and suddenly a deadly disease pops up. Suspicious
I hope this doesn't mean that this story will be killed off :( I like Sammy to much.
But seriously, nice view into Sammy's backstory and emotions. Thank you for writing! I already look forward to the next installment
PS it looks like this review section is becoming my echo chamber
You're welcome, maybe she can be saved or the disease could be too much for her.
Well there are a couple of others who have reviewed as well.
Date: October 26 2017 3:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
Lol, I could also get that beer for Sammy, if she survives.
The new chapter is a nice addition to the story and finally gives her some more power so she can finally get that beer sponsorship.
Thanks, hopefully she will get the beer that she needs.
Date: October 20 2017 12:28 AM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
Very nice addition to the story! You are a very good story teller.
Sammy is also an interesting character and it's nice to learn more about her,
but I think Sammy needs a hug now right now.
Thanks it is much appreciated.
Sammy would probably tell you that she needs a beer.
Date: October 18 2017 9:14 PM Title: Chapter 6: Nicities and Nightmares
Sammy and this hacker creep seem to have super heroine super villain thing going on.
I like her aloofness with the reporter. It gave the scene a feeling of her not wanting to be there for the interview, but for the company. Nice and subtle.
It's pretty cool how you are combining slice of life scenes with action in the story. Good, fun work.
I'm pretty curious where you want to take this and I hope you're having fun getting there.
Thanks for the review, I very much appreciate you ongoing support.
Date: October 18 2017 8:07 PM Title: Chapter 6: Nicities and Nightmares
This is a really good story you've got here. To think some women would feel empowered being a giantess but you've shown the struggles Sammy goes through that it's know wonder she's so grumpy. I love her character because when it's all said and done, we still see that she's still human inside and not a delusional goddess wannabe who sees herself as superior. My heart ached a bit when she was trying to get Zero to have a normal conversation with her. I hope that hacker gets caught soon. I wonder who it is?
Thanks for your comments, I wanted to go with the realistic option since giant women who go mad with power is unlikely. For the hacker... well we'll find out soon enough.
Date: October 18 2017 4:57 PM Title: Chapter 6: Nicities and Nightmares
Pretty good chapter. I had forgotten about the hacker so it was a good surprise. Nicely done.
Thanks, it is much appreciated and it shows that even humans can still physically hurt Sammy.
Date: October 11 2017 5:53 PM Title: Chapter 5: A Pleasant Swim
A nice snapshot of Sammy's view of the world. Her morbid curiosity about the ship brings her negativity into focus. Great character moments with her keeper and with Zero.
Her inner pain explains a lot of her abrasive qualities and I can't help but feel for someone so alone. Interesting how she's experimenting with being pleasant to someone who isn't Zero. Perhaps her encounter with Charlie has opened her mind to possibilities.
Charlie and Zero both raise questions. What kind of technology are we looking at in this world? AI is a pretty advanced thing to bring to bear, but no one has found a way to give Charlie a version of Sammy's healing ability? Some sort of view of the technology we are dealing with might bring the world into a little more focus.
I still think that Sammy seems like the sort of person I wouldn't enjoy being around, but her character arc seems to be getting more and more interesting. Your character work has been very good in this story so far. Sammy is multifaceted and getting more complex and thus more compelling.
Thank you for continuing and congratulations on another chapter.
You're welcome. Thank you for the lengthy comment.
Sammy is a character who thanks to her size does live in isolation so she would be lonely.
The story does take place in the near future so AI have advanced to a certain point but the cure for cancer is just out of reach. it would come in time but not quick enough for poor Charlie.
Date: October 11 2017 10:35 AM Title: Chapter 1: Pilot
I absolutely love where this story is going. Contrary to another opinion on here, I don’t fine Sammy extremely unlikeable. I’m actually quite intrigued by her behavior and I can’t wait to see the interview with Leslie. Please keep up with it I’ll keep reading! :)
Thanks, I appreciate that.
Date: October 04 2017 6:55 PM Title: Chapter 4: Skirmish
Great chapter. Sammy seems less and less appealing the more we learn about her. That's a daring choice. She seems to have no particular prinicples or philosophy but a consuming sense of adventure.
The senator is a pretty sucky guy, but he's got her being a better hero. I'm impressed with the way you've capture such an interesting dynamic with Sammy as a powerhouse with no appologies.
Leslie seems interesting. The sort of Lois Lane vibe she give off is pretty cool. Something Sammy seems to be aware of.
Interesting characters interacting in interesting ways....good stuff.
Thank you for continuing.
Thanks for the review. Just gotta be sure that she's completely unlkieable.
Leslie might play a bigger role in the future but we'll have to wait and see.
Date: September 27 2017 5:58 AM Title: Chapter 3: Charlie
Hi Doctor, you are clearly an inspired storyteller. Your plotting is layered and interesting. You have developing situations that make me want to read more. And I love that you put things into emotional context. You should keep writing and keep writing, for you clearly have stories to share.
Now,I hope you don’t mind some constructive criticism. Your prose tends to undermine the drama and excitement of your story. You tend to understate things, or say them in a way that feels a bit flat. Neal Stephenson used a similar writing style to achieve ironic brilliance in Snow Crash, but it doesn’t seem to fit the material here. It feels like you should up the drama in your language, more Robert E Howard-esque is probably a good example.
This is only my opinion, but I would look up some youtube videos on writing advice that talk about “show don’t tell” writing techniques.
I could be completely off on my interpretation of what you are doing. Maybe you are portraying Sammy’s anti social personality disorder, but she seems to have hidden depths that are not quite coming through and she seems like the sort of person who I would root for as they develop as a character.
I don’t usually care about giantess characters as I am an SW fan, but I think you’ve created an interesting world and a character with real potential. Keep at it and good luck.
Thank you for your feedback and I'll take what you've said into account.