Date: June 15 2018 4:14 PM Title: Chapter 5 - Cumming to Katie
I’ve been keeping ‘an eye on’ on this story a while. I haven’t read all of the chapters though I must admit. The (I assume) B.D.S.M. is not something I necessarily enjoy, and I have mixed feelings regarding people who pay others to abuse them – after all what they chose to do with their lives is none of my concern (unless it directly impacts my own life of course). I think I came back to this story because there is a distinct lack of grammatically sound stories recently and your style of writing is one that I enjoy.
If somebody inflicts self harm upon themselves it is suggested that they get counselling, or see psychicist. However, if they get somebody else to inflict the pain upon them instead, it is viewed as a “fetish” - and the person isn’t automatically viewed as somebody who needs help. I really believe that Katie’s money and time would be better spent on either seeing therapist or getting a personal trainer (preferably both if she can afford both) and perhaps she could join some sort of club/group related to things that she enjoys too.
The sessions that Katie has with Sara seem to me to be counterproductive as only appear to reinforce the negative thoughts that she is having problems with. She doesn’t “deserve” to be abused as she’s done nothing wrong. Obesity is not a crime, and she should ideally be working on her poor social skills and pessimistic outlook.
It’s as if she doesn’t really want to do anything about her sitation at the same time as wanting to do something about it. She’s clearly depressed but her solutuion is to pay somebody reinforce her negative emotions? It’s confusing to me.
But that rant aside, I think you’ve made a decent effort of blending the macrophile fetish with this other fetish. Macrophila has a broad spectrum sub-gernes and they co-exist nicely on websites such as Giantess World.
The accounts you’ve written seem very vivid, as though you’ve had lived experience of such things. I could sense the passion in your writing. We need more passionate writers on this website!
I hope my analysis hasn’t put you off in anyway. If you wanted, I’d be happy to do some kind of art trade as I could create some visual aids – one or more renders of Sara perhaps. Despite my lack of interest in this whole “mistress” thing I found Sara to be an intriguing character, exciting even. If people wanted to pay me to inflict pain upon then I’d give it some serious thought (despite my ethical objections) as there are days when I get so annoyed with humanity that I wish I had a proper outlet for all of my anger and it would be like a stress toy for when I’m listening to all of the crap in the day’s news. Plus, it also sounds like easy money and a really easy job. Of course, I’d never wish harm on a “good person”.
In summary: a decently well written story, good pacing and talk to me regarding potential art trade if you like. Brevity is not something I’m good at. Apologies for the long review!
Author's Response: I appreciate the honesty. Keep in mind that this is fantasy fetish fiction. You’re absolutely right about a real-world scenario for Katie regarding the need personal psychiatric evaluation. Good writing takes time and passion. It seems to come pretty naturally at times. I can pop out 10-15 pages in an afternoon if I’m really in the zone. Though this specific aspect of my writing (bdsm) may not be your forte, I hope you are enjoying the renewed Phoebe series. I have other thoughts in my head for storylines but they’re still in development. You’re welcome to message me through the account section if you have additional thoughts. Always welcome to dialogue.