I absolute love your story I cant wait to read more please continue.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I am always so glad when people tell me they find enjoyment in my little passion project. The kind words really help with motivation to know someone out there is liking reading it.

Sorry it has been so long getting back to this reply and updating the story!

Just read all 12 chapters. You have a way with building sexual tension, especially the first 3 chapters when both of them are on the train.

What drew me into the story was how this woman just casually dominated him by throwing her weight around. It could be her arm, leg or even back, she uses every part of her body to control this guy which I love.

The scene where she leans back against him, pinning him to the window was fantastic. He literally couldn’t move. In addition, I like how she used her legs as barriers such as the scene where she used a leg as a gate.

I believe this is your strength. The details and creativity of how this woman is able to control this guy with such simple acts. The key seems to that she has to put minimal effort, but this guy struggles constantly, and still fails.

The mental game with her was good too, but it just made me anxious to see her again, so I’m glad she showed up for dinner.

The dinner scene felt out of character for her. On the train, she was calm and collected, confident in all her decisions. To see her mad, as frightening as it may be, feels off somehow. Maybe it was just to scare him, but I think it might be better to scare him with her body and not with the tone of her voice.

The story is paced a little slower than I expected, but I appreciate the detail to each scene. Part of me feels like they talked too much during dinner. Maybe I’m just anxious for her to physically manhandle him.

Anyway, overall this is a great story and I can’t wait for the next chapter!

(Also, are you going to update your other story “Used”? That cliffhanger was very sexy and I would love to see more.)

Author's Response:

Okay a fair bit to unpack here and i will address all of it. First off sorry for the delay, i always appreciate feedback but am the worst at responding to it

Thanks for the compliments, what you've outlined as my strengths i certainly feel are like they are, Building sexual tension as well as minor yet huge displays of the power dynamic between them is often where i find myself coming to life writing the story. This probably at times can also be a slow burn with as you said 'it's a little slower paced than i expected' but you understand why, i feel with the atmosphere i'm trying to create in this story attention to detail is key, and detail is very important for explaining the heart of the power dynamics.

Dinner was out of charcter and i will own that. I feel at the time of writing her charcter somewhat veered away from my original vision. She became more antagonistic but not in the way i wanted. I wanted the subtle acts to be the driving forces of the story. I felt like it was important that she say things, but i ended up writing to much dialogue and she seemed to shout and yell her charcter rather than it by shown with correct story telling. Looking back she turned more into a anime villain with the overuse of dialogue. This isn't the direction i wanted to take and have hoped since then i've made changes to get 'her' charcter back on track. I don't know why i veered of course with the dinner chapters, but i don't enjoy reading them back compared to others, however they're established in the story now. I'm also not saying i won't silence the charcter, i just don't want to force unnatural dialogue from her that seems out of place and breaks the reading experience.

I will admit that dialogue is not my strong suite when it comes to writing, you're good and positive feedback both outline my strengths and weaknesses perfectly and you've hit the nail on the head really.

Still i'm glad you enjoy it and i appreciate the feedback. "Used" at this point is a retired project. I found myself writing that one on a weekend of just passion writting, when it came time to continue it rather than end the story the writing became a chore rather than passion. 'The Train' always has a special place to me, and i'm always thinking about where to take it next, even after a year of no updates i was always thinking about it's direction. 'Used' had it's time, but it really was a weekend of passion writing rather than a continuous adventure. It ran over its duration and i should have ended it and not continued it. However no i belive it's ended, i don't have a desire to return to it. But i will also never rule it out, maybe one day when the time is right i will go back and either continue it or rewrite the whole thing