* * * * *

This was the headline on the front page of the newspaper Alexander Cabot III had bought at the gas station where they had just refueled.

"RARE COIN STOLEN FROM MUSEUM
Police Think Criminal History
May Have Been Primary Motive."

The coin had been a rare two-headed piece from ancient Egypt. With a full-face image of the cat-goddess Bast on either side. According to the news story, it had originally belonged to an ex-stage hypnotist, who had tried to use it in a convoluted plot to drive a certain circus into bankruptcy.

"Hey!" exclaimed Alex: "Get this, gang. He was thwarted by our old friends, the Scooby Gang! And, following the hypnotist's conviction, the cops gave it to them as a reward. But, they donated it to the Gotham City Museum of Natural History, where it safely remained...right up until last night."

"Do they have any suspects?" asked Alan Mayberry, from the busdriver's seat.

"Yeah, two. According to the local police commissioner, it's either Catwoman or Two-face."

* * * * *

MEANWHILE, IN THE BATCAVE BENEATH STATELY WAYNE MANOR...

"Personally," said Batman: "I think the two of them probably teamed up to steal it."

"Holy Unholy Alliance!" exclaimed Robin.

"Exactly, chum. Now's let program the Batcomputer to analyze what Gotham locations might have a sufficient feline or binary orientation to serve as a rendezvous for them. Individually or jointly."

There was only such place that fit both parameters.

"There's a fish cannery on Pier 2 that was recently closed by the EPA," read Batman: "....after toxic levels of mercury were found in some of their canned catfish!"

"Holy Beginners' Luck!" exclaimed Robin: "What are we waiting for? Let's go!!"

A minute later, they were headed for the Gotham City waterfront in the Batmobile.

* * * * *

As luck would have it, Two-face and his latest band of musclemen were on the second floor of the cannery. The Dynamic Duo had parked the Batmobile two blocks away. After which, they had approached the cannery over the rooftops of the neighboring buildings. And, they only had to peer through two skylights before they got lucky, again.

It was on the count of three, however, that they crashed down through that skylight to take out the musclemen.

BIFF! BAM! POW! SOCK!

By the time Two-face got over his startlement, and reached for the double-action pistols he kept holstered beneath his double-breasted suit, Batarangs were already airborne.

"ARRRRRRRGH!" screamed the man formerly known as D.A. Harvey Dent, as the Batarangs struck his trigger fingers, dead on, numbing the nerve endings throughout his hand.

This was followed by two sets of "one-two" knock-out punches being utilized in the subduing of Two-face, preparatory to tying him up with Batrope. When the musclemen were similarly bound, Batman applied some smelling salts to the criminal mastermind's nose.

"Blecch! Pah-tooey! Get that stuff away from me," said the latter on regaining consciousness.

"Never mind that!" demanded the Dark Knight: "We know you and Catwoman joined forces to steal the Golden Coin of Bast. Where are they?"

"How should I know?" growled Two-face: "That Feline Floozy double-crossed me! She said only I had the resources to scout out the museum's security in half the time it would take her. And, that, on completion of the robbery, she'd meet me back here, at 2:00 AM, so we could brainstorm how best to fence it. Only, she obviously never showed!"

* * * * *

MEANWHILE, AT GOTHAM STATE PENITENTIARY...

...a short and stocky man with gray hair was brought into the warden's office.

"You sent for me, Warden?" he asked (in a voice slightly reminiscent of Peter Lorre).

"Yes, Dr. Gulliver. I'd like you to meet..."

"...Selina Kyle," finished the bespectacled blonde: "Pet therapist."

tbc

"Watch the pretty coin of gold," intoned Selina Kyle: "And, you will do as you are told. You're both brainwashed, now. And, that's a fact. For the next twenty minutes, here's how you'll act."

Meanwhile, a certain renovated schoolbus had just pulled up in front of the Hotel Ritz-Carlton.

"Here we are, gang!" exulted Alexander Cabot III: "Gotham City's best five-star hotel. And, just two blocks up from legendary Madison Round Garden."

"We know, brother dearest," replied his twin sister Alexandra (with quite obvious sarcasm): "Now, about helping us unload the bus, before I have _you_ seeing five stars?"

"Tut-tut-tut, sister dearest!" replied Alex, shaking his right index finger back and forth: "Someone has to go inside, to the front desk, to insure that our rooms are ready."

Before anyone else could protest, he was through the revolving door and into the lobby.

"Wow!" exclaimed Josie McCoy (the redheaded leader of the trio called Josie and the Pussycats): "He sure can move like a regular Kid Flash when he wants to."

"Yeah," muttered Valerie Brown: "I just wish he'd want to more often. Like during the loading and unloading sessions!"

The lovely young African-American was not only the tambourine percussionist of the trio. She was also their resident electronics genius. Inventing, among other things, Josie's red synth-guitar (the one that helped make them sound like a full orchestra)!

"Gee!" replied Melody Valentine (the buxom blonde drummer): "Wouldn't he get in trouble with the police, then? Kid Flashing all the time, I mean? Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

Later that same evening, in the Batcave, the Dynamic Duo watched a press conference that had been videotaped earlier that afternoon.

"She made an appointment to see me posing as a psychiatrist specializing in the use of pets as living therapy tools. As inspirations for moral reformation on the part of our inmates! When she finally came to my office, though? Well, that's when I evidently blacked out."

"You mean, when she hypnotized you," corrected one of the reporters: "Don't you, warden?"

"I honestly...don't remember."

Batman believed him.

"Catwoman must've imposed a mental block on most--if not all--of his memories concerning the request for Dr. Gulliver to be brought to his office."

"But, unwilling accomplice, or not," replied Robin: "...one fact remains. Catwoman ran off with the one man on Earth who was able to reduce even Superman, in both size and power level, down to the point of negligibility. In one fell swoop!"

"Granted," nodded the Dark Knight: "But, let's not forget that Dr. Gulliver's original micro-wave reducer was powered by an isotope of kryptonite. Something that even Catwoman will find exceedingly difficult to get her hands on."

Meanwhile, at the Ritz-Carlton, Alexandra Cabot sat on the balcony of her hotel room, stroking her pet cat, Sebastian. His black-and-white fur matched the streak of peroxide that skunk-striped the middle third of her raven-black hair. And, his green eyes...matched the eerie glow of his spoiled owner's birthstone ring.

"Ms. Cabot?" a voice suddenly inquired from behind her. Forcing her to drop Sebastian as she jumped to her feet. Then, she turned around and saw the person whom she had been waiting for with increasing impatience.

"Would you keep it down, please? You might have awakened my dim-bulb roomie!"

"Oh, come now!" said Catwoman: "This is no time to be a...scaredy-cat!"

tbc

* * * * *

Alexandra scowled: "If I wanted lame puns, I'd go wake up my brother. Now, do you have what I want, or not?"

Catwoman lifted her left hand, to show the Golden Coin of Bast dangling from a black string held between her thumb and index finger.

"How about you?" she now asked.

Alexandra took off her birthstone ring.

"On the count of three?" she suggested. Catwoman nodded.

"One," began the latter.

"Two, said the former.

"Three!" they chorused, tossing their respective bargaining chips to each other. Catwoman deftly caught the ring, and Alexandra was no less deft in snatching the coin from mid-air.

Alexandra then asked: "How's Gulliver's doohickey coming?"

Catwoman shrugged: "The hypnotized car thieves I supplied him with aren't exactly the epitome of tech support. But, under his personal supervision, the new reducer should be ready by this time, tomorrow night."

"Good! Because, the press conference is for half past nine in the morning, the day _after_ tomorrow."

"Not to worry. By 10:00 AM, you'll have Alan Mayberry all to yourself. And, by 10:15, you'll have the operating instructions necessary for permanently insuring that!"

Alexandra stared her co-conspirator straight in the eye, arms akimbo: "Just don't try anything funny, at the last moment. Because, in the credibility department, even _my_ word carries more weight than yours!"

Catwoman picked up Sebastian, who had been doing figure-eights around her booted ankles, and handed him back to Alexandra: "Would I betray a fellow ailurophile?"

* * * * *

The next day, Bruce Wayne read his morning paper, at the breakfast table, as per usual. What was slightly unusual was that he was not perusing the "police blotter" section, first (or, as the Boy Wonder liked to phrase it; "right off the bat"). Instead, he was reading the front page story about...

"Josie and the Pussycats, eh? I wonder...?"

"About what?" asked Dick Grayson, before spooning some cereal into his mouth.

"We were trying to figure out why Catwoman would want to break Dr. Gulliver--of all people--out of prison. And, perhaps, now we know!"

Dick's eyebrows arched in astonishment.

"You can't mean...?!"

"It makes sense, chum. The Pussycats have a large fanbase. What more logical crime (for Catwoman) than to abduct them for ransom? And, how best to do that, virtually single-handedly, than to shrink them?"

"But, assuming she and Gulliver can get the necessary power source, wouldn't a new micro-wave reducer shrink everyone present within range of the signal?"

When the Dynamic Duo had first crossed paths with Dr. Gulliver, the misguided scientist had shrunk them (and the rest of the original Justice League) down to two inches in height! He had done so by broadcasting a signal, using a special ultra-sonic frequency, that could only be perceived by the human ear on a subliminal level. A signal that was then relayed to the pituitary gland of the human brain, resulting in the "bio-miniaturization" of the hypothetical person in question.

"Catwoman might be counting on that to slow us down," replied Bruce: "Knowing the Dynamic Duo's first concern would be for the health and safety of any shrunken by-standers. Even the tabloid inhabitants of the Fourth Estate!"

"So, we're going to keep Josie and the Pussycats under protective surveillance?" his youthful ward inquired. With an enthusiastic tone in his voice that was matched only by the infatuated gleam in his eye.

Bruce, not failing to notice this, smiled and nodded.

"And, we're going to do it from the most logical vantage point in the world," he added: "The spotlighting...catwalk...of the Ritz-Carlton's grand ballroom!"

tbc

* * * * *

The stage in the grand ballroom of the Gotham Ritz-Carlton had seen its wooden surface trod on by a lot of great entertainers. From the giants of the Big Band era to still-living legends from the Psychedelic Sixties. And, now, it was being graced by Josie and the Pussycats. Promptly at 9:30, as advertised! Each girl wearing her trademark leopard-print leotard (including pseudo-tails, ear-shaped head bands and open-toed moccasins).

The Q&A session, with the assembled reporters, lasted for twenty-five of the scheduled thirty minutes. The lovely young ladies then went to their instruments to perform two of their earliest hits. Starting with "Watch Out For the Roadrunner (Fastest Boy in Town)."

"So far/so good!" whispered Robin, as he and Batman kept their vigil from above the stage.

"Don't be so sure, chum," cautioned the Dark Knight: "They still have one song to go. And, only their successful return to their rooms will prove my fears for the Pussycats' safety were groundless."

"Well, even if you're right," rebutted the Boy Wonder: "...maybe Catwoman was just as anticipatory about us and changed her mind at the last second."

"Perhaps. But, I wouldn't count on it. She and the rest of our Rogues' Gallery seem to live for the challenge of trying to outwit us. Look at all the times they've captured us alive, purely for the sake of putting us into some slow-acting, overly dramatic death-trap. And, all _without_ unmasking us, while we were safely unconscious, beforehand!"

"Holy Most Dangerous Game!" exclaimed Robin (sotto voce, of course): "I've never looked at it that way, before."

"Well, as much as it would please me to be wrong about Catwoman plotting to 'shrink-nap' the Pussycats, it would be just like her to wait until the literal last moment to strike. When she thinks our guard would be at its lowest."

"Ow!" said Robin, suddenly slapping at his left facial cheek.

"What's wrong?" his mentor urgently inquired.

"I think I just got bit by a mosquito."

"Shhh! The Pussycats are starting their second number."

So intently did the Dark Knight center his attention on the talented trio that he failed to observe Robin stealthily remove his pneumatic Bat-injector from his utility belt. This was the device they usually employed for those badly in need of their antidote to Joker-toxin.

In this case, however, it contained something else. Something Robin suddenly injected into the back of Batman's neck. Something that made him feel as he had felt only once before!

During the wave of vertigo that had hit him and Robin, the first time they were shrunken by Dr. Gulliver.

"Robin?" the Dark Knight managed to mutter before blacking out, to the sound of female screams: "What...? Why...?"

When Batman regained consciousness, he initially thought he was hallucinating. Because standing there, before him, was what looked like a hundred-foot tall statue of Catwoman, arms akimbo. That is; till the "statue" suddenly moved its left arm!

Batman gasped as he saw whose face lay beneath the mask.

"Talia????!"

"Greetings, beloved."

tbc

Batman sprang to his feet. Only to fall back down at the reneweal of his earlier vertigo. When his vision cleared, the first thing he noticed was three breast-shaped pieces of beige felt. Right before his very eyes!

This was followed by a rather curiously musical inquiry as to his state of health.

"Golly! Are you all right, Mr. Wayne?"

This use of his real name helped to clear the remaining cobwebs from his mind. He looked up sharply and beheld Josie and the Pussycats. Each one of whom was still wearing her stage costume. And, each one of them apparently twice his present height!

He also noticed that he had been deprived of his utility belt, his gauntlets, and his bat-eared cowl and mask. He then noticed their surroundings: a circular chamber with opaque white walls. Topped by a glass dome with a most peculiar support column.

The latter did not come down all the way to the floor.

"A parabolic microphone to enhance our communication, Talia?"

The daughter of Ra's Al Ghul smiled: "Very good, beloved! It is nice to see your ordeal has not diminshed your observational faculties."

"I take it, then, that Catwoman didn't really steal the Golden Coin of Bast."

Talia shook her head: "Merely a carefully crafted fake that some of Father's genin put in its place. Six months ago!"

"So, basically, this is just another one of his convoluted attempts to coerce me into being his successor?" the Dark Knight demanded.

"Not quite. This scheme is entirely my brain-child! I merely had to get his approval."

"And, this entailed stealing an ancient Egyptian artifact that's been proven to induce a state of suggestibility without inhibition."

"Precisely. That is how I put your youthful ward under my control, three months ago. Followed by Catwoman, herself, two nights ago! When we captured her en route back to Two-face."

Talia then revealed how it was she who impersonated Selina Kyle, in the warden's office at Gotham State Pen. While it was the real (albeit hypnotized) Catwoman who had met up with Alexandra Cabot.

"Alexandra?" echoed Josie: "What's she got to do with this?"

"Her father, Alexander Cabot, Junior, was once better known as...the Dastardly Diamond Dazzler! A high-end jewel thief who used high-tech jeweled rings to commit his crimes. That is; till he was 'forcibly retired' by the superhuman trio called...the Impossibles!"

Only one of the rings had never been recovered, at that time. The 'birthstone' ring Alexandra had gotten as a "Sweet 16" present.

"The so-called piece of 'jade' it was set with was actually a sliver of kryptonite! From the same meteorite as that from which was carved the fabled statue of Chang Lung."

"The green Chinese dragon sculpture once stolen by the Joker and Luthor," commented Batman. Talia nodded again.

"I needed that sliver to power the new version of the micro-wave reducer Dr. Gulliver was building for me. One crafted to resemble the instrument played by Ms. McCoy! You see; that was the only way Ms. Cabot would part with the ring. If I used the reducer to remove her arch-rival for the affections of one Alan Mayberry."

"So, that's why we suddenly shrank!" exclaimed Josie: "I knew Alexandra was jealous of my relationship with Alan. But, to go this far...?"

Valerie, however, was mulling over something else: "You must've stolen Josie's synth-guitar, last night, in order to replace it with your device."

"Correct, Ms. Brown!"

"Then, why did only five of us shrink?" the Dark Knight commented: "Gulliver's original reducer wasn't that selective."

"What Robin injected you with, beloved, was a micro-electronic dart. A subcutaneous receiver, in fact! Tuned to the same frequency as the new reducer. The Boy Wonder was already implanted with his own, three months earlier. And, these young ladies were similarly implanted with theirs, last night. Per Catwoman's post-hypnotic instructions, prior to her meeting with Ms. Cabot!"

"And, I take it Robin was post-hypnotically instructed to mislead me with that 'mosquito bite' ploy when the time came for my capture?"

Talia nodded, once more. Then, she unzipped a carefully camouflaged pocket on the right side of her catsuit. From it, she withdrew the Boy Wonder, himself! Albeit, now small enough to be dangled from her right thumb and forefinger.

Directly over her mouth.

"Adieu, Little Bird. Et, bon appetit por moi!"

tbc

* * * * *

Batman's eyes bulged wider than an anime character.

"Talia, wait! What are you doing?"

The daughter of Ra's Al Ghul looked down at Batman.

"You have made it clear many times, beloved, that the only way we can have a life together is if I choose you over my father. Well, now, I offer you the same choice. Agree to be my husband, forever more. Or, I shall do to each of these young ladies what I now do to him whom you love like a son."

With that, she dropped the shrunken Boy Wonder into her mouth...and swallowed him whole.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Dark Knight did not end his screaming until he was too hoarse to scream anymore.

* * * * *

For the rest of that day, and all through the night, the Pussycats took turns comforting the grieving crime-fighter. Sometimes, kissing him. And, sometimes hugging him to their ample chests.

[The latter was quite convenient, given the circumstances. For, as Bruce was only three inches tall, his head only came up to their chests!]

Came the next morning, Talia once more stood over their detention area like a cat-suited Colossus of Rhodes.

"Have you come to a decision, beloved?"

Batman stared up at her with tear-stained eyes.

"If I agree, will you re-enlarge these young women and let them go?"

"I will agree to re-enlarge them, so they can play at our wedding!" she replied: "But, they will be shrunken, again, immediately afterwards. For, not only did I give my word, to Alexandra Cabot to eliminate them from her life. I also told you, last night; they are my insurance policy that you will do as I say."

"That's unacceptable, Talia!"

"My terms are non-negotiable, beloved. Duly wedded, or common-law basis, you finally will be my husband, regardless! But, the latter approach means the deaths of Josie and the Pussycats will be on your conscience."

The diminutive Dark Knight looked at the three lovely youngsters who had given him succor, all night. There was no choice, at all, really.

"Very well. I agree."

Talia smiled.

"Excellent! My father will enter the U.S. around midnight, tonight. When he arrives, here, he will officiate the wedding. The entertainers will be re-enlarged half an hour, beforehand."

With that, she walked away.

MEANWHILE, AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE...

...two distaff members of the Justice League reviewed the video footage confiscated, by the GCPD, from one of the TV cameras at the Gotham Ritz-Carlton press conference.

The first few frames showed all three Pussycats suddenly begin to shrink. Followed by Batman and Robin doing likewise, after falling to the stage. Only for all five of them to be snatched up, and placed in a small burlap sack, by the notorious Catwoman!

"She certainly moves with the agility of her namesake," opined Wonder Woman.

The green-eyed platinum blonde sitting next to her (wearing a semi-strapless blue leotard with matching moccasins), nodded in agreement.

"But," she added: "if she is truly as cunning as one, she will not hide out anywhere with too obvious a feline motif."

"How do you mean, Rima?"

Rima of the Jungle turned in her swivel chair and looked her teammate straight in the eye.

"Here-to-fore, Batman's enemies have treated their adversarial relationship as one big perverse game! Hoping to outwit him, before finally deigning to kill him. Hence, their constantly choosing lairs blatantly linked to their modus operandi. Yet, Catwoman has been more devious than usual. If shrinking and abducting the Pussycats for ransom was her one and only motive, here, the authorities would have heard from her long before this. Especially, with a shrunken Dynamic Duo to auction off, as a bonus!"

"So, we shouldn't be looking for her anywhere, too obvious," concluded Wonder Woman: "Like, for example, in the sewers beneath the former lion cages at Old Gotham Zoo."

Rima nodded, again: "Precisely! We must ask ourselves, rather; 'Where could I safely take, and look after, five shrunken hostages?' "

To be continued?

* * * * *

While all that was going on, in Gotham City, there was something equally bizarre happening in neighboring New York.

It all started when the Green Goblin stole a rare book on occult magic from Shadowcrest. That was the name of the Long Island mansion once owned by the legendary stage magician, Zatara the Great (and since inherited by his equally famous daughter, Zatanna).

Spider-man did his best to capture the verdant villain. He even followed the Green Goblin back out to Shadowcrest, via one of his "spidey-tracers." Unfortunately, the latter got the drop on him using a pumpkin bomb that was somehow impervious to the webslinger's "spidey-sense."

FLASH! BANG!

Spidey found himself landing flat on his back, too dazed to move. This allowed the Green Goblin to throw a blanket over him, before exclaiming:

"eclaP mih ni sniahc!"

When the blanket was removed, the wall-crawler found himself shackled from head to foot!! Or, more precisely, from shoulders to ankles. The Green Goblin cackled with glee as he then chanted:

"pU, pu! yM eof sah nesir. tuP mih ni a citsalp nosirp."

Whereupon, Spidey levitated off the floor and into a giant plexiglass tumbler. When that had been accomplished, the verdant villain chanted once more.

"lliF htiw retaw!"

A clear blue liquid immediately materialized around Spidey's ankles...and rose upward from there.

"Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! Don't drink it all, while I'm gone, Spider-man. I want enough left, on my return, to toast your demise. Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!"

With that, the Green Goblin flew off, on his gas-guzzling "Goblin Glider," through a pair of French doors opening on to a balcony. By which point, the water level in the giant tumbler was up to Spidey's waist. And, getting ever higher!

"Got to...maneuver...my web-shooters..straight...upward," he muttered.

Just as the waterline reached his neck, however, a new (and indisputably female) voice commanded:

"retaW, pots gnisir. nruT ot nitaleg."

That was when Spidey realized that all splashing noises had ceased. And, the medium in which he was trapped was now rippling in a different fashion.

"Must be jello," he muttered: "Because, jam doesn't shake like this."

That was when the female voice spoke again. Or, more accurately, it giggled and tittered. Thereby allowing Spidey (who now felt like a fly trapped in amber) to recognize it.

"Zatanna???"

"TA-DAAAAAAAA!"

One "flash-bang" later, there she stood. Looking just like her posters: a twenty-something brunette with raven-black hair and blue eyes. Wearing a Navy-blue tuxedo over a white shirt, black bowtie, purple cumberbun and baby-blue briefs. Off-set by black high-heels, sheer nylons, a Navy-blue top hat with a purple band, and a white-tipped wand that she leaned on with her right hand.

Her left arm, which had been akimbo, now doffed the top hat in a melodramatic bow of greeting.

"Hi ya, Spidey. Long time/no see!"

Spidey knew exactly what she was referring to. It was the first anniversary of the adventure that the news media had dubbed: "The Mystery of Blackwell's Ghost."

tbc

* * * * *

Almost one year ago, exactly, the New York City newspaper known as the DAILY BUGLE had sponsored an urban renewal campaign that was to have begun with the demolition of an ex-vaudeville venue called the Castle Theater. There had been only one problem: everytime the demolition crew tried to start in on their job, something strange happened to their equipment.

Like crowbars turning into fragile candy canes...as if by magic!

Rumors immediately started circulating that it was the work of the ghost of the Great Blackwell. A vaudeville-era stage magician who had never failed to attract sell-out audiences to the Castle Theater.

Ordinarily, such a seemingly supernatural occurrence would have attracted the investigative attention of the Scooby Gang. And, indeed, they had been in the New York City area, at that time, visiting Daphne Blake's Aunt Olivia. But, no sooner had they proven that her aunt had not been possessed by a mythological cat-demon, than they had found themselves being chased throughout Manhattan by a pair of Chinatown artifact smugglers disguised as hopping ghosts (skull-faced undead), straight out of Chinese folklore!

So it was Spider-man who wound up investigating the mystery. Ultimately exposing "Blackwell's Ghost" as Zatanna the Magician. And, with the latter subsequently explaining how she had masqueraded as her father's boyhood idol in order to save the Castle Theater from the quite literal wrecking ball.

All it took to accomplish that laudable goal, after that, was a letter-to-the-editor of a rival newspaper (signed by Spidey), caustically _praising_ the theater's intended destruction. J. Jonah Jameson automatically did an emotional about-face, and put the power of THE DAILY BUGLE behind a campaign to get the Castle Theater renovated, reopened, and registered as a National Historical Landmark!

"Quick, Zee!" the webslinger now exclaimed: "Get me out of here, so I can go after the Goblin."

"No need to worry, Spidey. I was between shows, in Vegas, when I saw on TV what was happening back here. So, I did some magical teleporting. And, voila! I rematerialized on Shadowcrest's front lawn, just in time to see the Goblin flying out over the library's balcony railing. He and his so-called 'glider' are now a pair of turtledoves, down in the basement aviary."

"Even better!" replied the wall-crawler: "Then, you can let me out of here, and I can go home for some much needed sleep."

Zatanna's only reply was a cryptic smile, followed by an incantation:

"relbmuT, knirhs. stnetnoC dna lla!"

Whereupon, Spidey suddenly found himself gazing up at the beauteous stage-mage from a height of six inches!!

"Zee!" he exclaimed: "What...? Why...?"

Zatanna merely gave him another cryptic smile, as she momentarily knelt down (on her right knee) to lift the tumbler up in her left hand. She then carried it into her kitchen, where she set it atop a small breakfast table. This was followed by her doffing her top hat a second time...in order to flatten it!

"taH, emoceb etalp."

This immediately resulted in the hat's transformation into a white chinaware dish. Followed by Zatanna placing the tumbler, horizontally, on to its gleaming surface.

tbc

* * * * *

Zatanna's next move was to recite two more backward-spells. The first one went:

"dnaW, emoceb noops."

Whereupon, her black-and-white stage prop became a Sterling silver eating utensil! After that, came the second spell.

"relbmuT, enola, raeppasid. evaeL stnetnoc no hsid."

Whereupon, Little Spidey's plastic prison vanished. Leaving his gelatinous straight-jacket to land on the chinaware plate, causing it to bounce up and down. And, as a result, nearly causing the shrunken webslinger's downward-facing face to hit the plate several times in succession.

"Z-Z-Z-Zatan-na-na!" he exclaimed, the bouncing motion forcing him to stammer (much to Zatanna's amusement).

" *Tee-hee!* Yes, Spidey?"

"W-W-Why are you doing this?"

The pretty prestidigitator merely smiled, and started to slowly scoop away the blue gelatin from off his back. Each spoonful seductively placed in her mouth with a very provocative "yum." When she had cleared away everything from that angle, she tickled Little Spidey's buttocks for a second or two. Then, she gently flipped him over with the spoon, and started to repeat the process with the gelatin on his front side!

Finally, she was done. Whereupon, she renewed smiling down upon him.

"In answer to your earlier question, cutie? I'm doing this because I've secretly had the hots for you ever since you helped me save the Castle Theater. And, now, thanks (most ironically!) to the Green Goblin, I have you right where I want you. llA ot flesym, rof eht elohw thgin."

In the immortal words of Mark Twain: "Let us humbly draw the curtain of charity across the rest of this scene."

* * * * *

MEANWHILE, BACK IN GOTHAM CITY...

...Josie and the Pussycats had been deeply touched by the sacrifice the diminutive Dark Knight had agreed to make on their behalf. Melody was the first to express this gratitude by picking Batman up, hugging him to her ample bosom, and then smothering him with kisses. Valerie was the next to do the same thing. And, last but not least, so did Josie, herself.

Batman tried his best to resist (if only for the sake of modesty). Yet, as he was now only three inches tall, the trio of lovely ladies was twice his height. So, there was really no fighting them off without hurting them.

Thus, he succumbed.

Within half an hour, they were asleep beneath the blue washcloth they had been given as a blanket. Melody, lying flat on her back. The unmasked Batman, directly atop her. And, Josie and Valerie keeping him pinned there. The former, with her right arm; the latter, with her left.

They looked so cute like that, when Talia returned, she almost hated to wake them up.

Almost.

She knelt down on her left knee, and rapped (none too gently) on the plexiglass dome of their prison. The miniaturized musicians subsequently jumped to their feet, momentarily forgetting their surroundings and condition. This, in turn, caused Melody to unintentionally drop her little bedfellow.

The only thing that would have made Talia laugh all the harder, at their expense, was if her "beloved" had landed flat on his butt! He, of course, proved too well trained to do anything but land on his feet. No matter what the circumstances.

When she finally calmed down, Talia stood back up and said: "Ladies? Allow me to introduce my father. He who is called...Ra's Al Ghul."

The Pussycats had seen--and helped bring to justice--a lot of creepy-looking criminals in their travels. But, they had to admit; the green-clad giant who stepped up beside Talia, to coldly smile down on them (just like her), was the creepiest one by far.

tbc

MEANWHILE, AT THE GOTHAM RITZ-CARLTON...

...Alexandra Cabot had made a startling discovery. The ancient Egyptian gold coin she had gone to so much trouble to obtain had turned out to be a fake!

She found this out the hard way, when she had tried--but failed--to hypnotize Alan Mayberry.

"Cut it out, Alexandra!" he had exclaimed, waving away the dangling coin with uncharacteristic impatience: "This's no time for parlor tricks. The Pussycats are still missing, and the police still haven't received any ransom demands from Catwoman."

"Sorry, Alan," she relied (with a half-genuine blush): "I was...merely trying to ease the tension. Believe it or not, I feel just as angry at Catwoman as you do!"

In that regard, she was telling the truth. For, no sooner had she returned to the privacy of her hotel room, than she immediately got out her cellphone and called a certain number from the Gotham City Yellow Pages.

"E. Nygma Investigations," chanted the pre-recorded voice at the other end: "Just leave your name and number at the beep and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

BEEP!

"My name is Alexandra Cabot. And, I'd like you to find someone for me. A catty double-crosser named Selina Kyle!"

* * * * *

At that same moment, the Diminutive Dark Knight found himself being embraced from behind by the Pussycat called Melody.

"Why don't you two pick on someone your own size?" she demanded.

"Yeah!" chorused Josie and Valerie, as they moved to stand next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Consequently, Batman found himself looking at the leopard-spotted smalls of their backs. That is; till they took one step back to further shield him from their giant captors' view. In doing so, their shapely behinds pressed up against his waist, while simultaneously pushing back against Melody. Which, in turn, made the top of his head brush the underside of her chest!

This combination of factors started to make him feel very awkward south of where his utility belt was usually buckled.

Talia, observing all this from above, could not help grinning.

"Look at them, Father! Isn't it cute, the way they rush to protectively surround him?"

"Yes, My Daughter. They will certainly make amusing pets while you and the Detective are on your honeymoon."

"Pets?" echoed Josie and Valerie, in unison.

"Honeymoon?" echoed Melody.

* * * * *

While all that was going on, Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane landed at Gotham City International Airport. Upon taxiing into the same hangar where the GCPD kept their own patrol aircraft, the Amazing Amazon raced to the nearest landfill. Carrying her teammate Rima piggy-back!

Upon arriving at one, Rima used her psychic power of zoological empathy (which she usually channeled verbally) to summon all the rodents in the immediate area. By this means, she informed them of who they--meaning she and Wonder Woman--were looking for. The moment she had finished, the squirrels, rats, and mice disappeared.

"Now, we wait," said Rima.

Wonder Woman nodded. Whereupon, to pass the time, she asked if Rima had ever heard about the contest Aphrodite and Hera had once held, to see whether or not the Justice League were truly worthy to be called her super-friends.

* * * * *

While all that was going on, Special Agent Amanda Waller of Task Force X felt her cellphone start to vibrate within the lapel pocket of her blue blazer. The moment she opened it up, a stream of black particles shot out of the mouthpiece!

She waited until they had re-coalesced before monosyllabically inquiring:

"Well?"

"There have been two developments," replied the once-Terrible Tapper: "First? Ms. Cabot has hired the Riddler to track down Catwoman. But, only on the condition that he partners up with someone who can (and I quote) 'skin her more than once when you find her.' End quote!"

"The Wall" could not resist smiling at the not-so-subtle threat: "And, the second development?"

"Ra's Al Ghul's finally arrived."

"The Wall" stopped smiling: "He's top priority. Get back there, and tell Agent S that he's now on yellow alert!"

The Tapper grinned and saluted: "Will do!"

A microsecond later, and he was traveling through the telephonic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum, once more.

tbc

* * * * *

While all this was transpiring on Earth-6799, the cosmic entities known as Lord Chaos and Master Order psionically peered into the parallel-universe of Earth-030803. More specifically; they peered at that universe's counterpart of the world-killing sociopath known as Thanos the Mad Titan.

"He gets ever closer," said the former, unintentionally belaboring the obvious: "And, when he finds out I am not of feminine abstraction, like my counterpart, he will throw what the Terrans call a 'hissy fit!' "

"However did he get hold of a Qwardian power ring and a Mother Box, anyway?" asked Master Order.

"Oh, some Weaponeer, working as a mercenary for Darkseid of Apokolips, was on a gun-running trip to the Intergang of Earth-199098. When, suddenly, his boom tube was diverted to that alternate Marvel Universe by a wormhole that opened up near the Saturnian moon of Titan!"

"We must stop Thanos _before_ he gets here," declared Master Order.

"How? The Fantastic Four might be able to stop him. But, they are busy rescuing the Lindenbrook Expedition from the Mole Man! And, interrupting that would prove overly chaotic to the True Watchers of this universe."

"What about the Spider-man of that self-same particular altverse?" suggested Master Order: "He has proven himself brave, tenacious, and responsible. And, his fighting style is so unpredictable that it drives more physically powerful foes almost literally crazy!"

"Yet, was he not consumed by his ex-girlfriend? After being left stranded in a shrunken state by his jealous symbiotic costume?"

"We can see to his rescue. At the hands of someone who can give him an edge in fighting the cosmically powerful Thanos. The former Green Lantern known as...Donna Parker.* "

"His widowed great-aunt?" exclaimed Lord Chaos: "But, she is nearly a hundred Earth years-old!"

"Then, we will send someone back in time to recruit the help of her past self. Someone who has proven himself capable of traversing interdimensional barriers."

In less time than it takes to tell, the In-Betweener (personal servant of the two abstract entities) was conversing with that individual on a barren planetoid. An individual who was an amnesiac Terran superhuman from yet another alternate multiverse. An individual who wore a red costume high-lighted with yellow lightning bolts. And, who--up to now--had been exploring his adopted universe in the company of one of its self-proclaimed Elders; the Runner.

This mysterious individual was known only as...Fastforward, the Un-buried Alien. And, when the In-Betweener had explained the situation, the former had replied that he would be glad to help. Except for two problems.

"How am I going to visit this parallel-Earth without knowing its precise chronospatial co-ordinates? Let alone, without something to augment the kinetic energy I'll require?"

"That's where I come in!" exclaimed a new voice, with child-like glee.

"Who said that?" demanded the Un-buried Alien, looking all around.

Whereupon, a short green-skinned humanoid suddenly materialized between the two taller beings (with a popping sound that would have been inaudible in the normal environs of space).

"Me! Bum-bum-BUUUUUUUUM! The Impossible Man."

Five seconds later, the aforementioned humanoid shapeshifted into a green-and-purple treadmill. With Fastforward promptly hopping on to "his" back, and beginning to run at an eye-blurring speed. A speed that subsequently--and incredibly--only served to increase, from nanosecond to nanosecond!

Then, with another paradoxical "pop," they were gone.

tbc

* * * * *

I am Nafakusa; leader of the True Watchers. And, it is the self-appointed duty of my race to observe, chronicle, and occasionally recapitulate all events (seminal and otherwise) that occur throughout the Omniverse.

The universe of Earth-030803 is a divergent reality from that of Earth-26496. It was created when the universes of Earth-950122 and Earth-950909 inexplicably merged. Resulting, among other things, in Thanos of Titan capturing a wayward Qwardian mercenary from Apokolips.

Armed with a yellow power ring and a Mother Box, he began traveling to other parallel-universes. Destroying whole worlds in the name of Lady Chaos (feminine counterpart of Lord Chaos in the mainstream Marvel multiverse). To prevent a similar calamity from befalling them, the Master Order and Lord Chaos of Universe-6799 have sent the resident counterparts of Impossible Man and Fastforward to the aforementioned Earth-030803 to rescue that world's counterpart of Spider-man from a most...unusual predicament.

* * * * *

Donna Parker was a widowed mother, in her early forties, who had lost her husband in the Korean War. To make ends meet, she became a substitute school teacher. Sometime in the mid-1950's, she was contacted by one of the Guardians of the Universe about possibly replacing the now-retired Alan Scott as Green Lantern of Earth. For the will-powered rings manufactured by the Guardians worked only for those who were courageous and dedicated. Two qualities they had sensed in the Nebraskan school teacher.

She passed the test she was given by the Guardian. But, she declined to become a full-time Green Lantern as her children were still her first and foremost responsibility. Yet, just as she was in the midst of returning her power ring...

"Bum-bum BUUUUUUUUUUUUM!"

WHOOSH!

...she was whisked away by Fastforward and Impossible Man (who was still disguised as a green-and-purple treadmill).

On a deserted atoll in the South Pacific Ocean, they explained the situation to her. But, while she was naturally shocked to hear about the fate of her (as-yet unborn) grandnephew, her answer to them was the same as she had given to the Guardian. With one exception:

"Take this ring and power battery with you. If that young man is everything you've said he is, the ring will work for him just as readily as it did me."

They agreed. And, after returning Donna Parker to her Nebraskan hometown, they departed. Traveling six decades into the future and...

"Betty, please. No!"

GULP!

...into the stomach of Elizabeth Brant.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Bum-bum-BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!"

Impossible Man instantly transformed into an acid-proof rubber raft, the moment he materialized. Allowing young Peter to bounce up and down, as if on a trampoline, upon landing.

"Whoa! Where did you guys come from?"

"That would depend," replied Fastforward: "Are you Peter Parker?"

The youngster nodded. Whereupon, Fastforward held up the power ring and battery. Explaining their dire situation once more. Peter was, of course, initially astounded. But, after everything he had already been through, in his brief crime-fighting career, he did not think their story was beyond reason.

Whereupon, he extended his right hand. And, the ring levitated itself on to the fourth finger of that hand!

He then recited the oath of the Green Lantern Corps.

"In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil's might
Beware my power. Green Lantern's LIGHT!"

There was a brief interval of blinding verdant brilliance. After which, Fastforward and Impossible Man looked at their new ally...and gaped in slack-jawed amazement.

For Peter's first test of the power ring had been to will himself covered by a green-and-black version of his regular costume!

"Double-whoa!!"

"Not bad," conceded the Un-buried Alien: "Now, if we can just get going?"

"Wait a minute," replied young Spider-man: "I want to try one more thing, first."

He then enveloped the three of them in a translucent green bubble. Following which, he materialized a giant green frog (with matching tuxedo and top hat) that immediately began to sing and dance!

"Hello, my baby.
Hello, my honey.
Hello, my ragtime gal.
Send me a kiss by wire.
Baby, my heart's on fire!"

This undeniably strange performance soon caused Elizabeth Brant to awaken from her contented sleep, and run to her bathroom with an upset stomach. She knelt down on both legs before her toilet and began to cough and wretch. Until, finally, she threw up all she had eaten earlier that evening.

And, in her weakened state, she did not see the translucent green bubble that floated upward from the toilet just moments before she summoned enough strength to flush it.

Rima silently poled the dugout through the protected wetland locally known as...Slaughter Swamp.

With the help of the Justice League's on-line fanclub, the Super-Friends, she and Wonder Woman had perused the public records of every building that even remotely corresponded to their search parameters. Finally, they had narrowed down their list of "suspects" to one.

A currently vacant summer house at the northern end of Slaughter Swamp.

This house had once belonged to the wealthy Cobblepot family of Gotham City. That is; till Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot--alias the Penguin--had been forced to sell it to pay off some legal bills. Only, the holding company it had been sold to was listed as being owned by a Greek shipping magnate named Cephalopterus Ornatus. And, a year later, he was recorded as having sold it to an Italian fashion designer named Carolyn Dumetella!

The smile this had brought to Rima's face had prompted Wonder Woman to ask why.

"Because," the former had replied: "...C. ornatus is the scientific name for the South American umbrella bird. And, Dumetella carolinensis is the North American gray catbird!"

Consequently, they had dug even deeper. Leading to discovery of the fact that this summer house included a partly-indoor aviary. Complete with plastic tunnels and nesting dome for burrowing owls!

So, now, they were approaching that summer house in as stealthy a manner as possible. With the bow of the dugout finally hitting the muddy embankment of their destination; a state fish hatchery bordering the old Cobblepot place. And, as soon as Rima had followed her ashore, Wonder Woman lifted the dugout out of the water. Hiding it in the woods beneath a gorilla-like nest of leaves and twigs compiled by the jungle heroine.

Upon reaching the backyard of the old Cobblepot place, they had immediately noticed something incongrous.

"Since when does a vacant summer home have armed guards?" asked Rima.

Wonder Woman nodded: "Especially ones that look like ninjas in jodhpurs."

* * * * *

True to her word, Talia released the shrunken Pussycats from their plastic prison thirty minutes ahead of the scheduled ceremony. She then carried them into a master bedroom, where she fiddled with the controls of a device that looked like an ordinary portable radio.

A minute later, all three girls were back to normal size!

"Here is your actual guitar, Ms. McCoy," Talia said to Josie: "Please, do not do anything foolish like trying to escape. There are armed guards, everywhere. Plus, the subcutaneous receivers in your necks have an effective range of one mile. So, you could be re-shrunken in a moment's notice!"

"We'll be good, so long as no harm comes to Batman," replied the courageously feisty redhead. Which made Talia half-smile.

"You really have come to care deeply for him. Haven't you?"

Josie blushed, accordingly. As did the other two Pussycats. Talia's half-smile broadened into a malicious grin, as she remarked that--within another twenty-two minutes--she would have concluded the first step towards sending the Pussycats a post card from Niagara Falls.

While Talia was gloating, however, a minute particle of fiber seemed to detach itself from one of the costume leopard spots above the thigh of Valerie's right leg. Descending to the floor of the master bedroom with uncharacteristic speed.

And, sixty seconds after Talia had left, the once-Sinister Speck quickly re-enlarged himself.

tbc

* * * * *

I am Nafakusa, leader of the True Watchers. Here to update you on nearly-forgotten events from chapter ten.

After determining where Batman and the Pussycats were most likely being held hostage, Rima and Wonder Woman had flown to Gotham City in her invisible jet. From the police hangar at the local airport, they had traveled to a nearby land-fill. There, Rima had psionically requested the local rodents to scout ahead. To see if the old Cobblepot place was now inhabited by a dark-haired human female (Catwoman was not a natural blonde), as opposed to a chubby human male with a "third eye made of glass."

The squirrels who lived in the woods between there and a neighboring fish hatchery did indeed see a woman answering that description. They had the muskrats of Slaughter Swamp relay this news to the field mice who lived across the way, near a trailer park. And, the latter relayed it, in turn, to the rats who used the land-fill (which was next door to their favorite sewage treatment plant) for bearing their young.

Since then, Rima and Wonder Woman had traveled by dug-out canoe to the fish hatchery. And, from there, to the backyard of the old Cobblepot place. Only to find it guarded by the Uzi-wielding genin of Ra's Al Ghul!

Meanwhile, Josie and the Pussycats had been temporarily restored to their normal size by Al Ghul's daughter, Talia. But, they were not the only ones who turned out to have been shrunken.

Melody, at seeing who was standing behind them, exclaimed:

"It's a werewolf...who looks to be part Dalmatian. A-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

"Not so loud, Melody," Valerie cautioned.

Her rather harsh whisper was matched only by Josie's, when she demanded to know who the new arrival was.

He replied (pointing to his black-and-white polka-dotted costume):

"I used to be known as the Sinister Speck. But, now I work for a top-secret government agency under the code-name, 'Agent S.' And, I've been keeping an eye on you ever since my partner, Agent T, learned you were being targeted by Ms. Al Ghul."

"I wish you had shown yourself a little sooner," said Val: "Poor Robin might still be alive!"

"I had no idea she might pull a stunt like that. Besides which, I was under orders not to break cover unless otherwise instructed. And, now, I have been. More specifically; I've been ordered to get all three of you out of here, forthwith. You, especially, Ms. Brown!"

"We're not going anywhere without Batman!" replied Josie. And, the other Pussycats nodded in adamant agreement.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, an eighteen-wheeler truck slowly drove past the main gate of the old Cobblepot place. The logo on each of its sides advertised it as belonging to the Checkerboard Moving Company. With their slogan being:

"We wait for your move."

Sitting in the trailer portion of that truck was a domino-masked man wearing a green business suit (covered with black question marks) and a matching derby hat with black band. This was the man formerly known as the Riddler. But, who now preferred to be addressed as "Edward Nygma, P.I."

Sitting next to him was Charles "Rhino" Daly. Once, the personal bodyguard of the multiple-personality ridden criminal genius called the Ventriloquist. That is; till the latter's most recent ship-off to Arkham Asylum. After that, Rhino had moved to neighboring New York City, where he went to work for Wilson "the Kingppin" Fisk as a "special enforcer." In this capacity, he was given a bullet-proof exo-skeletal costume to wear. One that not only amplified his already-considerable natural strength.

It also made him resemble an actual-albeit-bipedal specimen of Ceratotherium simum (the white rhinoceros)!

Query, one of Nygma's female assistants, reported in from the "shotgun seat" of the cab that they had safely rounded the corner of the road, a hundred yards up from the gate. Nygma, pressing the "send" portion of his celluar headset, thanked her. He then told her to have her twin sister Quip begin braking to a halt.

When this had been accomplished, Nygma turned to Rhino.

"It's your show, now."

Whereupon, Nygma clicked a remote control at the back doors of the trailer, and they flew open.

"Sorry to spoil part of your fun. But, this truck is only rented."

Rhino nodded: "I'll meet you back at the spot."

Seconds later, he was charging back down the road at almost-unbelievable speed. Speed that helped him build up enough momentum to crash through the gate to the old Cobblepot place. And, thereby, alert every genin on the grounds to his presence!

Wonder Woman, still perched in a pine tree overlooking the backyard, turned to Rima and declared:

"I don't know what's going on! But, I think that's our cue."

The jungle heroine nodded. And, together, they jumped down. Landing in almost-feline crouches.

tbc

* * * * *

When Agent S (formerly known as the Sinister Speck) heard the staccato chatter of Uzis opening fire, he knew there was no time to lose. He quickly flipped open his cellphone, and from within its wi-fi circuits appeared... Agent T. Formerly, the Terrifying Tapper!

Only, he was not alone. He had brought with him Agent A-for-Aerosol. The latter had originally been known as "Spraysol," back when he was a criminal. But, more than one Agent S would have been confusing. Even for someone as well-organized as Director W!

"These ladies refuse to leave without the Bat," Agent S explained to him: "And, that new, improved shrink-a-mabob..."

"Micro-wave inducer," corrected Valerie.

"...has a maximum range of one mile. So, I'll need you to get it for me. And, simultaneously, create a diversion for me, while I go get _him_."

"Anything you thay," said the lisping ex-law-breaker.

Whereupon, he pressed one of several yellow buttons on his brown breastplate. A second later, a strange olive-green fluid sprayed forth from the nozzle that jutted from his helmet like the horn of a unicorn. A spray that turned the locked bedroom door to sawdust!

The two genin outside immediately spun around when they saw that dust cloud the air between them. But, it was to no avail as Agent A promptly sprayed with liquid nitrous oxide. Freezing them in perfectly rectangular blocks of ice!

"Gee!" exclaimed Melody: "How did you do that? I thought that kind of ice block was impossible outside Bugs Bunny cartoons. A-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

"Thorry, ma'am," replied Agent A: "Trade thecret."

Whereupon, he ran out of the bedroom and turned left. While Agent S did the same thing, except that he turned right. And, as he did so, he drank some of his shrinking formula, becoming no bigger than a period on a written page!

Fortunately, for him, one of the first things he had worked on, after perfecting his size-altering formulae, was a set of high-tech footwear he had dubbed his "spring-heeled jackboots." So that he could move with the leaping ability of a flea!

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Wonder Woman was literally running interference for Rima. Deflecting the submachine gunfire of the genin who had been guarding any approach to the old summer house from the woods. Those not subdued by the Amazing Amazon, herself, were knocked out by Rima using a combination of la savate and Olympic-worthy gymnastic handsprings.

Just as they were about to enter the old aviary, however, the Rhino saved them the trouble. If for no other reason than he came barreling into the house through the front door. And, exited through the rear French doors, in the same fashion, due to his inability to slow down any sooner!

"Alright!" he shouted, at the top of his lungs: "Where's Catwoman? My client has a little bone to pick with her. But, first, she wants me to break those bones!"

Wonder Woman and Rima looked at each, in puzzlement, over this unexpected development. Which, in turn, kept them from seeing Agent S re-enlarge himself, and make off with the old burrowing owl nesting chamber.

The same one that still contained the still-shrunken Batman.

tbc

* * * * *

...in another part of the old Cobblepot place, Agent A came upon another well-guarded bedroom. The door to this one having twice as many guards as the one in which Agent S had found Josie and the Pussycats!

"Hmmmmmmm!" mused the former felon: "Thith lookth like a job for thome Thmogula thmoke, to camouflage mythelf."

Whereupon, he pressed another button on his breastplate.

CLICK!

WHOOSH!

"Hey!"

"What the...?"

"I can't see!"

"What's going on?"

Agent A smiled: "Now, to theal their fateth."

This was followed by four more clicks, plus an equal number of spurts of a grayish-colored liquid. Thus, when the thick black smoke had dissipated, all that could be seen were four weirdly contorted cement statues!

Agent A sauntered into the center of them, and pressed another button. This one sprayed more of the corrosive liquid he had used on the first bedroom door. Yet, when this door fell into a similar pile of sawdust, the first thing Agent A observed, when he entered the room, was Ra's Al Ghul's daughter. The micro-wave inducer under her right arm. And, a broom-handle Mauser, in her left hand.

Aimed right between the eye-holes on his helmet's built-in, green-tinted goggles!

"I don't know who you are," said Talia: "Nor do I care. But, you have just made the greatest mistake of your now-shortened life."

"In that cathe," he replied.

CLICK!

WHOOSH!

A giant pink bubble immediately began to fill up the doorway between himself and the Mauser!

BANG! BANG! BANG-BANG!

A rapid-fire quartet of bullets penetrated the bubble causing it...

BOOM!

...to explode.

"Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmph!" muttered Talia, trying to scream for help (albeit, in vain) within the sticky cocoon.

"Thorry to 'gum' up the workth, my dear. But, I'm on a tight thedule."

Whereupon, he pressed yet another button. This one emitting some axle grease that helped him withdraw the micro-wave inducer from where Talia had dropped it on the floor (while instinctively trying to shield herself with both arms).

"Now, to thcoot back to the rendezvous."

* * * * *

As all that was transpiring upstairs, Agent S was trying to return to the rendezvous point from downstairs. Only to find his way blocked by Ra's Al Ghul, himself. Plus, his loyal bodyguard, Ubu.

"And, just where do you think you are going?" demanded the Dark Knight's un-aging antagonist.

"Would you believe I'm a Little League baseball coach? And, I forgot our lucky 'bat?' "

Al Ghul half-smiled: "How very droll! But, I'm afraid you're not going anywhere. Least of all, with my future son-in-law! Ubu?"

Whereupon, the loyal bodyguard popped some kind of pill into his mouth. A pill that immediately doubled his already-considerable mass and height!

"A sugar pill," explained Al Ghul, with an even larger smirk: "Laced with a new form of the super-steroid called 'Venom.' It allows Ubu to become a bigger 'bane' to my enemies. Show him, my faithful one."

"Freethe, buthter!"

Whereupon, with a "click" and a "whoosh," Ubu was frozen in his tracks by Agent A's second use of liquid nitrous oxide that night! Leaving Agent S free to swallow more of his shrinking formula.

"Time to 'flea' the scene...unseen. Hee-hahahaha-hee!"

Whereupon, he leaped on to the top of Agent A's helmet as the latter ran back upstairs.

tbc

* * * * *

The Amazing Amazon looked at Rhino.

"And, just who _is_ your employer, may I ask?"

"None of your business, Wonder Wench!"

"Then, I'm afraid we can't help you."

"Big mistake!"

Whereupon, the Rhino charged like a bull!

Rima quickly bounded out of the way, fully confident that her fellow female Justice Leaguer would be able to handle the presumptious Charles Daly. And, she was right.

Wonder Woman side-stepped him at the literal last second. Grabbing the prosthetic horns of his exo-skeletal costume as he ran by. Then, using the momentum of his charge against him, she lifted him off the ground, and started twirling about like a figure skater!

Once, twice, thrice, she did so. Half-way through the fourth spin, she released her hold. Sending the Rhino flying through the air, and back inside the old Cobblepot place!

Ra's Al Ghul heard the Doppler effect of his passage through the air, and instinctively hit the deck. As a result, the Rhino completely missed him, only to hit the still-frozen Ubu, instead. Thereby taking the fourteen foot-tall henchman with him through the front wall of the house!

Meanwhile (to coin an over-used phrase), Agents S and A had finally reached the bedroom where Josie and the Pussycats waited with ever-mounting concern.

"Hey!" exclaimed Josie: "Is that the shrink-a-majig you're carrying?"

Agent A nodded. Whereupon, she grabbed it from the reformed super-villain, and threw it to the floor. Following which, Valerie and Melody joined her in stamping it to pieces beneath their leopard-print moccasins!

Agent S, upon re-enlarging himself, commented how they should not have done that.

"Look!" he added, tearing the parabolic microphone away from the nesting chamber. And, they gasped upon seeing the still-shrunken Batman within.

"Golly!" exclaimed Melody: "How's he going to grow back up, now?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," replied Valerie: "Right now, let's get out of here."

Suddenly, there was a loud crash from behind them. Everyone spun about and gasped, as they beheld Ra's Al Ghul standing in the bedroom doorway.

Upon springing back to his feet, down in the spacious living room, he had run upstairs in pursuit of Agent A. Upon arriving at the doorway, he had bided his time before knocking over the two frozen genin in his efforts at freeing the nearer one's Uzi.

"None of you are going anywhere. Or, at least, not until you are all in the proper...frame of mind."

He then withdrew the Golden Coin of Bast (still dangling from a black string).

"Watch the pretty coin of gold,
And you will do..."

CRASH!

WHOOSH!

THUNK!

Once more, the Demon's Head instinctively ducked. This time, as an arrow lodged itself in the top of the doorway.
An arrow to which was duct taped...a cellular telephone!

Even more remarkably, the cellphone began to resound with the ringtone of an old-fashioned rotary dial phone!!

Agent S, seeing it was in voice-activation mode, called out: "Hello?"

Whereupon, Agent T emerged from the cellphone, distracting the Demon's Head just long enough for Agent A to freeze the latter in liquid nitrous oxide. Which, in turn, allowed Agent T to snatch the gold coin out of Al Ghul's left hand.

"Good timing, Agent T," said Agent S.

"Don't thank me. Thank Agent B."

He was referring to the ex-super-villain formerly known as the "Artful Archer" (but, now code-named "B-for-Bowman").

"Where ith he, anyway?" asked Agent A.

"He was hovering overhead on the flying chariot formerly owned by Fero the Fiddler. But, right now, he should be returning to headquarters. And, I think we ought to be doing the same."

Whereupon, he zapped the frozen Ra's Al Ghul with his instant digitizer! Thereby turning the homicidal megalomaniac into a column of period-like pixels, which were subsequently sucked into the cellphone like dirt into a vacuum cleaner.

He subsequently did the same to Agent A, Agent S, and each of the Pussycats, before doing it to himself. The moment after he had vanished into the cellphone, it self-desructed. Arrow and all!

Seconds later, he re-emerged from Amanda Waller's touch-tone office phone at Task Force X.

"Good job, people!" exclaimed the latter, after putting the receiver back in its cradle. Valerie, recognizing that voice, immediately spun about.

"Aunt Amanda???"

tbc

TASK FORCE X HEADQUARTERS

* * * * *

The woman sometimes referred to as "Director W" (and even less officially as "The Wall") beamed with happiness and love at seeing her favorite niece, safe and sound.

"Hello, Valerie. It's been a long time."

"Aunt Amanda," replied Val: "What is going on here?"

Whereupon, Amanda Waller explained how her people had recently been contacted by someone the Federal government had thought dead. The ultra-feministic terrorist known only as...the Red Claw.

"She wanted to inform us that her ex-husband had likewise resurfaced. Ra's Al Ghul! And, all she wanted in return for this information was our help in regaining custody of their daughter, Talia. Well, naturally, before I'd agree to any such proposal, I'd have to have independent corraboration of her claims! That's where Agent T came in."

The latter had eventually verified that the Demon's Head was, indeed, back at large. As was his daughter. And, she seemed to be centering some intense activity around Catwoman!

"That much we know," replied Josie: "She used Catwoman, along with the three of us, as part of a masterplan aimed at luring the Dynamic Duo into a trap."

"Yeah," agreed Melody: "You might say we were all...cat's pawns. Aheh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

"In any event," Director W resumed: "That's when I had Agent S infiltrate your little music troupe. To keep you under protective surveillance."

"Well, that explains his sudden, nick-of-time appearance," replied Val: "But, now what happens? I mean; you can't keep someone like Ra's Al Ghul on ice, forever."

"I've already got that covered. Agent S? Shrink that ice block down to the size of a cube. Then, go put him in Minerva's water dish."

Agent S grinned and saluted. Not telling any of the Pussycats that Minerva had once been a wicked, green-skinned witch. That is; until she had made the mistake of tangling with the Impossibles. As a result of which, she had accidentally turned herself into a bluish-black cat!

And, up until Director W had "recruited" her (to spy on Catwoman), she had been making amends by keeping a certain orphanage free of rodents and smaller vermin.

"Oh, golly!" Josie exclaimed: "That reminds me. Since we broke the shrink-amajig, what's going to happen to Batman? Can Agent S help him grow back to normal?"

To emphasize her point, she picked up the un-Masked Marvel with both hands.

Amanda Waller half-smiled: "I'm afraid not. His shrinking and re-enlargement potions work along different lines from the micro-wave inducer. They're more like alchemy than straight science."

Then, she crossed her arms and looked at the three-inch tall subject of their conversation.

"So, you're the dreaded Dark Knight of Gotham City, eh? It's a privilege to finally meet you. Even if under such stressful circumstances."

"If I said the feeling was mutual," he replied: "...I'd be lying. Any Federal agency that uses super-villains to do its dirty work is morally questionable, at best!"

"Hey!" admonished Valerie, arms akimbo: "That's my aunt you're talking to, Mr. Wayne. The woman who helped save all our lives! Yours, included."

"That's right," nodded Josie: "You should show a little more respect and gratitude."

It was Melody (of all people!) who pointed out that they should be just as grateful to him.

"After all," she added: "He did get shrunk--and see Robin get eaten--while trying to rescue us, first."

"You're right, Melody," said Val: "And, I can't think of any better way to return the favor than by us taking care of him. For the rest of his life!"

Whereupon, Batman started squriming in protest, shouting that he could very well take care of himself. Even though Josie's unbreakable grip on him clearly belied any such claim. In fact, to further emphasize the point, she immediately hushed all further protests by kissing him!

Her lips completely enveloped his head, for a good thirty seconds. When she was done, she handed him over to Melody who repeated the process. And, the same went for Valerie, thirty seconds after that. By the time all three Pussycats were done, the Compact Crusader was so dizzy from oxygen deprivation, he could not concentrate enough willpower to resist what came next.

Namely; Valerie asking her aunt for the confiscated Coin of Bast.

"Watch the pretty coin of gold,
And you will do as you are told.
Three inches tall, you shall remain.
And, never remember that you're Bruce Wayne."

"You permanently forfeited your memory and size,
In order to save all three of our lives.
So, for the rest of your life, with us you'll stay.
And, we'll love and care for you, everyday."

"If you ever have nightmares of your former life,
We'll quickly kiss away all of your strife.
So, watch the pretty coin of gold.
And, you will do as you are told."

To Be Concluded.

* * * * *

I am Nafakusa; leader of the True Watchers. Those who dwell beyond the Fourth Wall. And, I am here, one last time, to tie up all remaining (and, no doubt, half-forgotten) loose ends.

The extra-dimensional counterpart of Thanos who had invaded the universe of Earth-6799 was driven off to yet another parallel-universe by the extra-dimensional counterpart of Peter Parker now calling himself "the Green Laxative." With him went the Impossible Man and Fastforward. How their final battle with Thanos shall go is a story for another time.

As for the Spidey native to Earth-6799? He was never seen again (much to the delight of J. Jonah Jameson). Instead, the love-struck Zatanna has kept him shrunken and mystically brainwashed. Partly, so he can use his webbing to repair any runs she develops in the fishnet stockings she occasionally wears. And, partly, so she can use him to relieve her more-than-occasional "sexual tension!"

As for Ubu and the Rhino; Rima and Wonder Woman turned them over to the Gotham City version of "Code Blue" (the Federally-funded NYPD S.W.A.T. team specializing in the apprehension of superhuman criminals). The Rhino tried to deny all knowledge of working alongside Edward Nygma. But, Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth rectified that.

This resulted in Nygma having his private investigator's license temporarily suspended. However, it was reinstated after he helped Wonder Woman and Rima recapture the fugitive Dr. Gulliver.

Alas, even the Lasso of Truth could not compel him to reveal the whereabouts of Catwoman. For, he had been permanentlly rendered amnesiac on that subject, via post-hypnotic suggestions implanted by means of the Golden Coin of Bast! It is rumored, however, that there is a new female cat burglar operating within neighboring New York City. Albeit, one with long, platinum-blonde hair.

As for Talia? She was turned over to FBI agents from the Bureau's Gotham City field office. The next day, she was transferred to Washington, DC, aboard a specially chartered jetliner. But, when the aircraft landed at Dulles International Airport, the prison van into which she was escorted wound up being hijacked by masked gunmen dressed like ninjas in jodhpurs!

Their leader was afterward described as a beautiful woman bearing a reddish-colored tattoo...of some wild animal's clawed footprint.

As for Josie and the Pussycats? Their safe return to normal size naturally made front-page headlines. Alas, their rescue had been affected only through the ultimate sacrifice of Batman and Robin!

Commissioner Gordon was naturally quite skeptical, at first. But, eventually, after a month of no response to the famed Bat-signal atop GCPD Headquarters, he had to resign himself to the fact that the all-girl trio had evidently been telling the truth.

Gotham City was not completely abandoned, however. A new pair of costumed crime-fighters soon came to call it home! One of them had originally fought super-crime, in the 1960's, as "Birdboy" (adolescent ally of the solar-powered Birdman). Now referring to himself as "the Blue Falcon," he was aided--more or less--by a Doberman/Great Dane mix with bluish-gray fur; genetically engineered intelligence; and all sorts of cyborg implants.

The headlines devoted to this new Dynamic Duo overshadowed the news story about the elopement of one Alexandra Cabot and Alan Mayberry.

What the public would never know is that, with caring for Little Batman taking up most of her spare time, Josie McCoy had used the Golden Coin on Alan into gently breaking up with her! While Alexandra was hypnotized into being the perfect, old-fashioned wife for Alan. Loving; caring; concerned more with his happiness than her own. In short; everything Alexandra had never been as a single girl!

As for Little Batman, himself?

He still tours with the Pussycats. And, whenever he has those "bad dreams" about his old life, they are instantly kissed away by Josie, Valerie, and Melody. Kisses that he returns with unabashed affection. And, then some!

I know that this is not a classic example of living "happily ever after." Yet, you'll have to admit; it's a _perfect_ example of what a crazy, mixed-up multiverse we live in!

THE END