Rhodora’s House

Part 1: Doug’s Story

                The woman was not beautiful.  In fact, there really was nothing extraordinary about her in the least.  But when her soft, understanding eyes met mine, I knew, for the first time ever, it was time to go up to a complete stranger and introduce myself.

            And, instead of the expected cold shoulder, she looked grateful for my attempt at connecting, and we fell into conversation like old friends.  She had been sitting at a café in one of those swiftly-disappearing bookstores, and the hours we spent passed so quickly that the ‘store closing’ announcement shocked me.

            We walked down the moonlit street, and, listening to her voice, I knew I had found the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.  This chance bookstore encounter soon led to a string of dates over the weeks that only strengthened my conviction that she was the one.

            And then one night, at a neighborhood park, I proposed.

            “Oh, Doug, you don’t understand, I’m not the marrying type,” she laughed.

            Great, she was one of those women who didn’t believe in marriage.  It wasn’t what I expected of her.  She seemed like the girl-next-door type – bright, traditional – the kind of girl who could love me for whom I was.  She obviously picked up on my feelings, because, after studying me for a long moment, she whispered, “I think it’s about time you should come to my house.”

            I stared at her, uncomprehending.  “Why?”

            “I think what you really want is there.”

            “What I really want is to be with you,” I cried, exasperated.

            “And you can be, if you choose it.”   Quickly, she walked away, not looking to see if I was following.

            I sprinted after her.  “Wait!  Where are you going?”

            She did not slow down, nor did she turn around.  “To my house.  It’s around the corner from here, you know that.”

            Without another word (I was too out of breath anyway), I followed her to the doorstep of a small 1920s ranch.  It was neatly kempt, with rows of flowers and bushes surrounding it.

            “This is my house,” she announced, pausing at the front door.  Her eyes shone, an adoring look on her face.  If this expression was meant for me, then why wouldn’t she even consider my proposal?  “I love you very much, Doug.”

            Stymied, I gaped at her.  “And I love you. That’s why I want to marry you.”

            She shook her head, laughing joyfully, “No, don’t you understand?  What we can have is loads better than marriage!”

            “What could be better than marriage?” I asked, almost angrily.

            She threw open the front door and flicked on the lights.  A normal, everyday room met my eyes, and she jumped up excitedly.  “I’m home!” she proclaimed as she stepped in, but no one answered.

            Remaining on the porch, I asked suspiciously, “Do you have a roommate?”  She never had mentioned one.  I was sure of it.  Was she keeping something from me?

            Her gaze fell to a large dining room table.  “Oh, I have many,” she answered secretively.

            I was growing increasingly impatient, and I turned to go.  “Rhodora, if you don’t tell me what—”

            “You want to be changed,” she whispered.

            I flipped around, in shock.  “Well…I…”

            “I like that too.”

            I walked inside, slowly closing the door behind me.  “How do you…”

            “I don’t share this with anyone except the ones I truly love, the ones that want to be with me…”

            “What are you talking about, Rhod?”

            Rhodora approached the table she had been looking at.  It was finely crafted of a perfect cherry wood, its legs beautifully inscribed with ornate scrollwork.  She drew her hand across its shiny surface, and the table shuddered.  Yes, it visibly shuddered.

            “Tommy,” she purred, and began to rub her hands up and down one of the legs.

            And the table moaned. 

            My mouth fell open.  “That sound was you, right?”

            The secretive smile on her face irked me.  “It feels good to be touched when you’re an object.  Especially when you’re newly transformed,” she uttered.

            I didn’t think my mouth could open any wider, but it did.  “Uh, you’re telling me that table’s a person?  If that were even possible, why would it feel anything?”

            “Oh, Tommy’s in the form of a table, but his soul is still there.  And it feels, and sees, and hears—”

            “And speaks.”  There was a face on the table, and it moved.  It spoke.

            I staggered back in fear and amazement.  “Oh, holy shit.  Shit.”  I always enjoyed sci-fi and fantasy, and the idea of transformation always fascinated me.  But it was scientifically impossible.  Everyone knew that.

            “Tommy, it wasn’t quite time yet,” Rhodora tapped the table playfully.

            “Oh, it was close enough.  Honey, rub me more… It’s so nice…”

            Rhodora continued to stroke the piece of furniture as I watched, simply unable to fabricate a sentence.  I didn’t know whether to be disgusted or upset at this odd display.  Finally the table spoke to me.  “So, anything to say?”

            “Uh…does it hurt?” I uttered weakly, now trying to avert my eyes from the impossibility before me.

            “Does it hurt, guys?” the table yelled.

            Several objects in the room laughed.

            “Hurt!  My God, you’ve never imagined…” a bench burst out in glee.

            “It’s better than the best sexual experience you’ve ever had!” cried a flowerpot.

            Rhodora stood up and walked towards me.  “My guys  –  I love them all!  We have such a wonderful life together, and we’re so happy…”

            “Are they trapped?” I whimpered.

            “Trapped?  No, they chose this, and they can leave whenever they want…although, well, how many guys have actually left?”

            “Only two,” said Tommy.  “Jeff, because he only wanted a week’s vacation as a bird, and Max, who wanted to be changed but he didn’t want his wife to know.”

            “He was a garden hose.”

            “Why?” I gasped.  Just the fact that I was asking this worried me.

            “Feels good, the water going through you, and you’re long, and—”

            A picture frame cut off the vase that was speaking, “You should try being a sprinkler if you enjoyed when you were a hose.”

            “Sounds like a plan.”

            Tommy the Table cut back in.  “Everyone has different forms they favor.  I like being furniture – I love growing into large objects.  But sometimes I’ll be things Rhodora needs.  She lost her brush the other day, so I volunteered.  Burrowing into that hair, my bristles making it shine, oh, it was wonderful.”

            Rhodora blushed.  “I turn them into whatever they want whenever they want to.  I do it out of love.  Sometimes I change myself too and join them.  I was growing over in Jake there for a while.”

            “She was pretty as a flower,” said the flowerpot.  “Maybe you can turn me into a plant at some point, Rhodora.  I might enjoy that.”

            “Whenever you want, Jake.  But right now, let’s see what Doug here wants.  Would you like to join us, Doug?”

            I stared at the collection of living household items and a strange curiosity overtook me. This was real!  It really, undeniably was!   At first it seemed a depressing fate, being stuck in the form of a household object, owned by the woman you loved.  But if I could be with her always, used by her as I wished, perhaps this was better than marriage.  I could go back to my old life whenever I preferred…

            …If I ever preferred…

            “What do you need?” I pushed out, somewhat surprised at myself.

            Rhodora’s face lit up.  “You’ll join us, really?”

            I hesitated.  “It really doesn’t hurt?  And you’ll change me back if I don’t like it?”

            “I doubt you won’t like it, but yes.  I only do this for the people who want it.  You can walk out the door right now if you want, and we can continue to be friends.”

            Friends.  The word stung me, and I knew I could never be ‘just friends’ with this powerful, wonderful woman.  Rhodora, whatever she was, could change matter at whim, and I wanted to be with her.  I wanted to help her, to make her life better.  “What do you want me to be?” I asked.

            “Whatever you want!” she cried giddily.  “We need a nice change for you.  You always remember that first transformation the best!” Regarding the room, her gaze fell back to where it had started from – the table known as Tommy.  “Tommy, would you like a few chairs, so you’ll be a proper dining set?”

            Tommy chuckled.  “That would be great.  Doug, would you like to start us off?”

            I wanted this…I needed this… But a chair?  Yet I would be her chair…“Okay, but do it fast.”  I closed my eyes and held my breath.

            Rhodora sashayed over to me and traced her finger down my arm.  “No, darling Doug, you want it slow.  The act of transforming…it’s immensely pleasurable.  Please enjoy it.”  She focused on me, and my body began to tingle.  The feeling grew stronger, running through me from the ends of my fingers to the tips of my toes.  I gasped in delight as a feeling I could only describe as erotic encompassed my body, and I desperately fought the urge to touch myself.  I grunted as my body grew stiff, and, at Rhodora’s command, my arms reached out and froze there, my fingers melding together and my hands turning down.  Chair arms!  I’m really changing!  my mind cried out victoriously.  I was shrinking and being forced into a crouching position as my feet contracted into my thinning legs.  Two more legs grew out of my backside as my thighs melded together to form my seat.  The urge to touch myself was overpowering, but there was nothing I could do as I saw and felt my arms obtaining a wood-grain pattern.  I’m turning into wood! And it feels amazing!

            It was true  –  there was no pain as my torso and head formed into a chair back.  And Rhodora must have read my thoughts, for she murmured, “Let me help you,” as she began to stroke me where my manhood once had been.  I shuddered and moaned in ecstasy both from her ministrations as well as the immense pleasure of my whole form toughening into wood.  “Thank you, thank you!” I groaned, and with the most explosive release I have ever felt, my transformation was complete.

            And yet, the feeling of euphoria had not left.  “Don’t stop, Rhodora.  Please,” I gasped.  My wooden legs rocked back and forth on the floor as I was overwhelmed by the bliss of my new form. 

            “See, didn’t hurt!” someone that sounded like flowerpot-man yelled genially.

            I could only moan in response. 

            “Enjoy, my dear, enjoy,” Rhodora was almost crying from happiness.  “I am so happy I can give this to you, darling Doug.”  She outlined the scrollwork on my back with her finger.  “You turned out so beautifully.  Are you happy?”

            “Oh, Rhodora…happy is not the word.”  She ran her hands up and down each of my legs, and her very touch sent shivers through my hardened form.  Then she began to push her palms across my seat and up my back, then down to my back legs… “My God!  Leave me this way!  Please!  It’s wonderful!” I burst out, and the other objects tittered.

            “You think that’s good?  Be her nightgown for a night,” someone said.

            “Or her pillow!”

            I could only watch this goddess as she did all she could to make me feel good.  And I needed her to use me.  Now.  “Sit on me, Rhodora.  Please.”

            The feel of her body relaxing into my stiff form turned me on to no end.  I surrounded her with my strong wooden back and arms and caressed her with my seat.  She giggled.  “I feel you quivering a bit, Doug.  It’s quite the turn-on!”  She pushed her hands up and down my arms, then turned around and ran her tongue up my back.

            I was in heaven, and it would only get better from here.  All the benefits of marriage, and none of the stress.  Maybe one day she could turn me into a necklace and wear me on her bare chest, or maybe she’d make me into a bathtub and lie in me naked…The possibilities were endless, and it didn’t matter.  Right now I was quite happy the way I was.

            And so was Rhodora. 

            For the first time since my transformation, Rhodora was out.  She had gone to the store, and I missed her terribly.  I still felt amazing in my new chair-form, and I could only dream about what else I could be. 

            At the moment, I sat pushed slightly under Tommy, the table.  Several others of Rhodora’s flock had become chairs to make a set, and we sat talking.  Yes, it would have sounded ludicrous in my previous life, but here, in Rhodora’s house, it was true.  The table and chairs were conversing.

            The discussion turned to how the others had met Rhodora, and Tommy broke in with his story. 

            “She was standing by a beautiful cherry wood table in an antique shop I used to visit.  Well, I practically lived there.  I loved to go there and look at the objects, imagining what it was like to live in a time when they were used.   I was an accountant, I had no social life, no girlfriends…so I hung out in antique shops.   I don’t know what gave me the courage to talk to Rhodora, but I just needed to.”

            We all looked at each other, understanding him completely.

            “She wanted the table desperately, but it was way out of her price range.  We started talking, eventually dating, and I vowed to get that table for her one day.”

            “How did you find out about what she could do?” asked Jake, presently in the form of a flowerpot.

            Tommy’s voice sounded like he was blushing, but it wasn’t like we could tell, considering he was made of wood.  “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

            “Listen, we all like and enjoy this kind of thing.  Entertain us!  Give us the nasty details,” cried a chair whose name was Steven, I believe.

            Tommy made a gulping-like sound.  “Okay, you asked for it.  One day we were on my bed, and she was staring into my eyes.  ‘You have a fantasy.  Tell me!’  she demanded.  I don’t know how she understood this, and I’d never dared to tell anyone else, but I had to tell her.

            “’I want to be shrunk down so I can…touch a lady…there-’  I pointed between her legs, ‘Then I want her to shrink down and touch me…here.’  And you know exactly where I pointed.”

            “That is…damned nice…” Jake whispered hungrily.  “I need to do that…both of those.”

            “Me too,” several of the other objects agreed.

            “She made me stand between her legs on the bed, and suddenly the air was rushing in my ears, and…euphoria was running through me!  I was shrinking, and it felt amazing!  Every part of me was tingling and miniaturizing…and there I was, right where I wanted to be!  I didn’t understand a bit of it, but it didn’t matter!  I was so happy, and I don’t think I ever made a woman happier than at that moment!”

            “I believe that,” I said.

            “Then she cupped me in her hand, put me to her lips, and kissed me.  ‘Your turn,’ she whispered.  She placed me beside her, and I began to enlarge to my normal height.  And that feeling of growing bigger…well, that’s probably why I like to be big things.”

            There was a general titter around the room.

            “Then she shrank.  Watching her grow smaller turned me on to no end, and the bliss in her face made me so happy.   She was beautiful even at the maybe five inches she now stood, and she grasped and rubbed me…Oh, God!  I need to do that again!” he cried, laughing.

            “The next day, I tried to buy the table at the antiques shop.  I needed to thank her for…everything.  But the table was already sold, and I felt horrible.

            “I told her how I had planned to purchase the table, but it was gone, and that’s when she had me to her house.   I discovered all that she was capable of.  I wanted to join her.  I wanted to serve her.  ‘Would you like to be the table for me?’ she asked.  And after a long discussion, I agreed.  And as you well know, the transformation is just…amazing.  I never get tired of it.  The growing, the stretching, the hardening into wood…” he sighed.  “We are so lucky to know her.”

            At that moment, Rhodora herself walked in.  She carried a bag of fish food in her hand.  “Who wants to be a fish tank?  I have the urge to turn into a fish.  Anyone else want to join me?”

            A chorus of ‘yeses’ rocked the room.

                “It’s been a while since I’ve been a fish.  It’s really fun!” Rhodora exclaimed, picking up Jake the flowerpot.  “Thanks for volunteering to be the tank, Jake.  You want to go directly to that form, or you want to take a stretch or two back in human form?”

            Jake did not seem to need much time to decide.  “If you make the transformations nice, slow, and pleasurable, I’ll let everybody get a look at my human form first.”

            “I promise it’ll be good, my friend,” Rhodora smiled craftily, setting him on the floor.  

            The clay pot began to shudder and stretch.  As it enlarged, a slight cracking sound was heard as the clay softened into flesh.  It grew higher and higher, arms bursting from its thickening torso, which was swiftly separating into legs on the bottom. 

            The whole form shuddered with a groan of pleasure as features appeared on a rather pallid face.  Sandy brown hair sprouted on its head, and Jake stood in front of us, looking dejected.

            “What’s wrong, it wasn’t good?” Tommy demanded, always ready to defend Rhodora.

            “No!  It was wonderful, obviously.  I just hate being human.  Change me, Rhodora.  Make me a nice tank.”

            So Jake the flowerpot didn’t like to be human.  Well, here I was, Doug the Chair, loving everything about my new form, dreaming of what else I would ask to become…yet I didn’t hate being human.  This was just…more interesting…and it felt damned amazing, to be honest!

            The doorbell rang.  “Who the hell is that?” Jake spat.

            Rhodora walked to the door.  “Sorry, Jake, you might have to remain human for a few more minutes.”  Several objects laughed and Jake kicked angrily at the floor as Rhodora opened the door.

            There stood a rugged-looking man, who craned his neck to look past Rhodora into her house. 

            “Officer Scottson.  How…nice to see you…again,” Rhodora said, obviously trying to cover up a hint of annoyance in her voice.  “How can I help you?  Just…checking in as usual?”

            “Damn,” Jake uttered.

            The policeman obviously heard Jake’s outburst.  He pushed the door open wider.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  You have company…again.  I’ll come back later.”

            “No, it’s alright.  What’s wrong?”

            The officer caught a glimpse of Jake and scrunched up his face.  “Who’s he?”

            Rhodora let out an angered breath.  I’d never seen her as anything but patient, but this guy was even getting to me.  “He’s a friend.  Is there a problem?”

            “Well, like you said, I was just checking out the neighborhood as usual—”

            “Officer, it’s nice that as a neighbor you keep an eye on everyone, but it’s not necessary.”

            “Oh, but it is.  It is.  I see men coming to your house, but I never see anyone leave except you.  Why is that?”

            Rhodora gulped, but kept her voice steady.  “I don’t know.  Perhaps you’re not watching at the proper time,” she retorted.

            “Oh, I’m always watching.”

            “Rhodora, everything okay?” Jake sauntered up behind her.

            “Who are you?” Officer Scottson demanded.

            Jake glared at him.  “Who are you?”

            “I’m a police officer.”

            “Are you on duty?”

            “No, I live next door.”

            “That’s nice.  Bye!”  Abruptly, Jake shut the door in the surprised man’s face.  “Asshole.  He made me stay human for far too long!”

            I started laughing at his reaction.  It was totally ludicrous. 

            “Shut up, chair,” Jake mumbled.

            Rhodora patted him on the back.  “Thanks, Jake, but we need to be a bit more careful than that.  We might have to move to a different area if he calls attention to us.”

            “Oh, he lives alone.  Just turn him into a bush and plant him outside.”

            “Come, let me change you.  Lie down here.”  Rhodora pointed to the floor, and Jake obeyed, already in better spirits. 

            “Nice, ooh, nice,” he gasped as his body elongated.  I found watching the process of transforming to be beyond fascinating, and Jake’s changes were no different in this respect.  His body flattened into a featureless rectangle, which grew transparent as it sides grew up and joined into a box-shape.  It hardened into glass. 

            “Shouldn’t you make him bigger?” asked Steven, the chair beside me.

            “Yes, yes.  Make me bigger,” sighed Jake, now quite happy.  The tank began to grow in size until it reached Rhodora’s hips.  “Bigger, bigger!” Jake cried.  Rhodora smiled at the bliss in his voice, and I could only marvel at how talented she was.  She had taken flesh, made it clay, brought it back to humanity, then reduced it to a glass tank.  And she was enlarging it, finally stopping when it reached her shoulders. 

            “There you go, Jake!  You’re a fish tank to be proud of!”

            Right then the door burst open.

            “Where the hell did that tank come from?” yelled Officer Scottson.

“And where the hell is your friend that was standing here a second ago?” the officer added, glancing at the empty room.

“How dare you come into my house like that?” Rhodora demanded, her eyes blazing.

“Well, maybe you lock your door next time.”

“Lock my… You’re a police officer!  You know that’s illegal!”

“I’m not coming in as a police officer.  I’m coming in as a concerned neighbor!”

I watched Rhodora curl her hands into fists, and I wondered if this loving, sweet woman could have a bad side.  She would never hurt a fly; she was always out tending her garden, feeding the birds, healing sick and wounded animals…Hell, I saw her bring a house fly back from the brink of death and then free it out the kitchen window.  But I knew this man was constantly watching her, and I wondered if she might break…

He pushed past her, studying the tank.  Not making heads nor tails of it, he began to look for Jake, combing each room carefully.  Now deathly quiet, Rhodora merely followed him, and the expression on her face worried us all.  Except for Officer Scottson.

When the officer’s sweep of the house was complete, Rhodora, hands on her hips, asked darkly, “Are you happy with your illegal search of my home?”

He turned to her.  “What are you doing with them, Rhodora?  Are you murdering them?”

“In the two seconds you were gone, yes.  I murdered Jake and put together a very large fish tank.”

Unfortunately, I let a laugh slip out, and, the officer glanced around the empty room, shaken.  “Who…what was that?”

Rhodora glanced at me, then studied him for a moment.  “That was the chair,” she said matter-of-factly.

The officer’s face twisted into an angry sneer.  “You bitch.  What are you hiding?  What the fuck is this tank for?”

Something snapped.  I seriously could feel it from across the room.  “It’s for you, you bastard!”  She concentrated on the man, and he gave a cry as she seemed to grow larger.

“You’re getting…huge!” he gasped, but probably as he felt the wind rush past his ears and the floor growing increasingly closer, he quickly realized…he was shrinking.

“What the hell have you done?” he shrieked in fear.  Staring up at the giantess before him, he could only shudder uncontrollably.     

Rhodora looked quite pleased as she picked up the small man in her hand.  “You tiny little bastard.  Jake is too good for you, but he’ll do for now.  Jake, you mind if I put Officer Jerk in you until I figure out what to do with him?”

“No problem.  Walking around inside me will be like walking through an enclosed football field for him,” Jake laughed eerily.

I joined in the laughter, and Rhodora looked at me disapprovingly.  Her face twisted into a loving smile, then, and she said, “I don’t know, Doug, if you can’t control yourself when strangers are around, that’s not good.  You might be in for your first punishment.”

I froze – well, being wood, I couldn’t quite freeze, but…well, figuratively, I froze.  What kind of punishment would this woman I loved dole out to me?

“You lucky bastard!  You’re getting a punishment that soon?” mumbled the  picture frame.

Well, maybe this ‘punishment’ was something to look forward to, then?

Meanwhile, tiny Officer Scottson, still in Rhodora’s fist, had been simply gaping at the fish tank.  When I laughed, his gaze fell on me and remained there.  “They’re talking…and I’m small…” he stuttered.  “Oh, my God, Rhodora, what are you?”

Rhodora squeezed him slightly, and his eyes bulged in fear.  “I’m a very nice person who gets angry when people don’t mind their own business.  Now get in here!” she tossed him inside the fish tank, and he hit the bottom with a cry of pain and a ‘thud’.

Jake cackled, and the sound echoed through him.  “Aw, did she hurt you?”

“You can talk.  A tank appears from nowhere and talks.”

“I’m Jake, you idiot.  The guy you saw.   She turned me into a tank.”

“Wh…wh…why?”

“Because I volunteered to be it!”

The tiny man curled up in a corner.  “Oh, my God.”

“Feels good when you walk around in me.  Can you do more?”

The officer glanced up in shock.  “Feels…good?  That’s just…insane!”

“Why?  It’s awesome!  Soon they’re going to fill me up with water.  I bet Joey, that picture frame, will want to turn into the water.  Then a bunch of them will turn into fishes and swim around in me.”

“Holy freakin’ shit!  Let me out of here!” Officer Scottson banged on Jake’s wall in response.

“I can hardly hear you, Officer! You’re too tiny!  Talk to Jake if you want!” Rhodora called in a singsong voice.

Being near enough to Jake, I decided to add my two cents’ worth.  “You really should leave her alone.  She’s a wonderful woman, and she’s harmless.”

After examining me, the talking chair, Scottson swallowed.  “Harmless?” he looked down at his tiny form.  “Look what she did to me!  Look what she did to you!  You’re a fucking chair, for crying out loud!”

“He wanted to be,” said Jake.  “And I wanted to be this.  Didn’t it feel good to be shrunk?”

“I don’t know, I was too scared.  And being squeezed in her fist wasn’t so great either.”

He ran his hand down Jake’s glass.  “So she didn’t trap you?”

“No!  We’re free to go whenever we want!  It’s just so nice to be transformed, most of us don’t want to leave.”

The man looked at us with amazement, obviously unconvinced.  “You’re crazy.  And she’s fucking nuts.  She has to be stopped.  And I’m the one who’s going to do it.”

Jake chuckled derisively at the small man.  “Right, and you’re in just the right shape to do it too."

                Rhodora was now pacing back and forth across the room.  “What do I do with him?” she whispered to us so the little police officer wouldn’t hear.

            “Let him stay there for a while,” Tommy suggested.  “I’m sure Jake will enjoy the tiny feet running around in him.”

            “Turn him into a worm or something,” I offered.  Rhodora approached me, sweeping her hand idly across my seat, which sent a nice shiver up my spine.  Well, what used to be my spine…now it was just, well, the middle of my chair back, I guess…

            “I need to think.  But in the meantime,” she raised her tone at this, “let’s punish Doug!”

            “What the fuck are you going to do now?” came Officer Scottson’s tiny voice.  “Don’t you hurt anyone, you crazy bitch!”

            Rhodora’s expression went back to the rather murderous one from minutes ago.  She suddenly shrank away, a small moth now fluttering in her place.  It flew into the tank and landed beside the officer, who tried to withdraw further into his corner.  Slowly the moth grew larger, becoming a grotesque mixture of insect and human, until it was all Rhodora.  Her head nearly at the ceiling, she glanced down at the man and laughed.  “You’re like a bug, you know, Officer?  How about I call you Carl?  That’s your name, isn’t it?”

            The man simply nodded.

            I was surprised to see Rhodora nonchalantly lift her foot and hold it right over the police officer.  “What do I need to do to shut you up?  There are so many possibilities…For all the years I’ve been alive, I’ve never had to threaten anyone like this, but it actually could be quite fun.”  She lowered her foot, only millimeters from the man’s head, and he fell to his knees.

            “Please…please…” he whimpered.  “I won’t say a word.”

            “I’m supposed to believe that?  You know, if I let you go and you open your big mouth, I can always find you and do…well, anything I want to you.”

            “I know.  I know.  Please don’t crush me.”

            Rhodora sighed, placing her foot down and turning away.  “No, maybe I won’t crush you, but I’m not done with you yet.”  She studied the glass.  “Jake, I hope you’re enjoying this.  You really did come out beautifully.”

            “I just wish you’d fill me up with water instead of idiot policemen,” grumbled the fish tank.

            Rhodora became a moth once more, flying out of the tank and landing on me.  She grew into her human form, and I felt the increasing weight on my seat as she grew in mass. 

            “Now, Doug.  I think it’s obvious you can’t speak if strangers are in the house.  So, to enforce that, which punishment should we do to you?”

            “Carpet!”

            “Washcloth!”

            “Pantyhose!”

            “Shoes!”

            But Rhodora shook her head at everyone’s suggestions.  “I think a gumball would be best for you, my love.”

            Before I could get a chance to refuse what sounded like a horribly painful and torturous experience, the swells of pleasure accompanying the transformation process began to seize me, and if possible, they were even more erotic as they coursed through my wooden limbs.  I shrank, all of my form closing in on itself until I was nothing more than a ball, dwindling, softening, yet hardening slightly on the outside…

            Officer Carl let out a shriek of horror which everyone ignored.

            “You made him blue!” commented an amused Tommy.

            Rhodora picked me up in her hand and rolled me in her fingers.  “Feel good, Doug?”

            The sensations from my new form plus the rolling against her skin were just too much.  All I could do was muster a garbled, “Arghhh...” which sent most of my object-friends into peals of laughter.

            “Enjoy!  Your punishment has only begun!” called Lee the Lamp from where he sat on a corner table.

            Rhodora stroked me for a moment, and I could only stare helplessly into her large, pretty features.  I didn’t think she’d hurt me, but, was she really going to chew me?  The idea of someone’s teeth ripping through my body didn’t sound like it could be pleasant.

            As if hearing my thoughts, Rhodora murmured, “Dearest, of course if you were human it would hurt.  But you are gum.  Gum doesn’t feel pain.  But my gum feels pleasure…” And with that, she popped me into her mouth, and all was momentarily dark and wet as her mouth closed around me.  Before my fear could take hold, however, her tongue began caressing my round shape, and I was lulled as she began to suck on me. 

            It was hard to describe how wonderful it felt, her moist tissues surrounding me, encompassing my gumball-body with a suction that was truly incredible.  Then, without warning, her teeth bit into me, breaking through my outer shell into my soft inside.  Something beyond orgasm rocked all through me with that bite, and I was helpless to do anything but take it.  But as my juices mixed with her saliva, I heard her giggle, which sounded deafening as it came up through her throat.  “I felt you shudder from that, Doug!  Mmm, you taste so good…” she pushed her tongue through me, stretching me across her mouth, then gathering me up into a ball and chewing further. 

            This went on and on, a seemingly endless string of orgasmic pleasure with every stretch and contortion of my pliant form.  I hoped I would have many punishments like this in my future with Rhodora, and I pitied the rest of the population who would never know this ecstasy.

            And as if being a gumball couldn’t get any better, then it did.  Suddenly her tongue was inserted completely inside me.  It felt nice, clinging to her, all around.  Then I was being pushed out through her lips, and pressure was growing inside me…building up, I was growing, expanding…

            My God, she was blowing me into a bubble!

            The sexual tension didn’t seem like it could get any more intense…until I popped.

            This was beyond even what I had experienced when she bit me.  The bursting of my frail form left me plastered across Rhodora’s perfect skin, and she rolled me back into her mouth.  “No escaping yet, my little gumbally-Doug.”

                “Oh, God, Rhodora, please blow me into a bubble again.  Just once.  Please,” I begged from her mouth, wondering if she could hear my spindly voice.

            She snickered happily.  “Just to push my lesson home, Doug.”

            Her tongue went into me, and the building, delicious pressure sent me into bliss yet again.

                “Doug,” Rhodora pulled my squishy form from her mouth, “you ran out of flavor.”  She played with me, grabbing me and stretching me very thin, then crushing me all back into a ball.  The crushing was almost as good as when her teeth had sunk into me, breaking my outer shell and squirting my juices into her mouth…

            She placed me onto the floor and I began to grow taller and taller, until…

            “Rhodora, I’m human again,” I pouted.  I was out of breath from the last bits of the transformation which were still running through me.

            “Yes, yes you are,” she said distractedly, her eyes on the fish tank.  “I’ll change you in a bit.  I just want to deal with my friend Carl here, and it can’t hurt to have someone who’s mobile around in case he escapes.”

            “Have a seat, Doug!” Steve cackled.  I wasn’t sure if he was inviting me to sit on him, but I didn’t.  That just felt wrong and…weird.

            The police officer watched Rhodora approach.  He clenched his little fists and spat, “Keep away from me, you bitch.”

            Laughing, Rhodora curved her head over the edge of Jake.  “Seriously, Carl. You really are still talking to me like that?”  Again, she flew into the tank, only this time as a falcon.  She still towered over the little man, and she grabbed him with her sharp talons.

            “You shouldn’t be among people.  You’re dangerous,” he stuttered.

            “Yes, especially because, being a falcon, I have this great urge to eat you.”

            “You wouldn’t.”

            Carefully she opened her beak, lowering it over his head.  “I might.”

            “Rhodora, play with him first!” yelled Lee.

            “She makes a beautiful animal, doesn’t she?” Tommy inserted dreamily.

            The bird yawned.  “You know, I’m so tired.  It’s late.  I’ll deal with you tomorrow.  The question is, what should we do with you overnight?”

            “Let me go home.”

            She squeezed him, her talons piercing his skin.  “So you can cause us more trouble?”

            When the officer did not respond, she flew out of the tank, still grasping him tightly.  She took human form, all the while with the officer in her grip.  “Ah, I have just the thing for you, Carl.”  She set the small man on a shelf, and as he rose to escape, his body began to solidify. 

            He fell to a seated position, his legs splayed out in front of him.  “Argh…ooo…” he let out a garbled sound, a mixture of surprise and pleasure.  “What are you doing…”  His skin became a perfect white, and his features now shrunk back into his pallid face, looking as if they were simply painted on.  A very slight crackling sound accompanied the final changes as he grew still.

            “What did you do to me?” came a very small voice from the porcelain doll’s lips.

            Rhodora laughed, picking him up and running a finger down him.  “I made you a cute porcelain doll.  You’re very pretty.  You’re a girl doll, in fact.  Pretty dress, pretty hair…” She began to rub his perky breasts and then lowered her finger between his legs.  “Oh, how I can tease you!” she giggled.

            “Oh, please, don’t stop,” the figurine moaned. 

            But quite abruptly, she did. 

            “Oh, why?  No…please…continue…I’m so close…I can’t move…I can’t do it myself…”

            “I’m teasing you, Carl.  This is your punishment.”

            She rubbed a tiny breast once more, then walked away.

            “Oh, God, Rhodora!  Don’t leave me like this…I’ll stay a doll like this and I won’t complain if you just…bring me to a…close…”

            But Rhodora walked off.  “Think of that when you threaten me.  You can sit on the shelf all night and think of it.  Hopefully no one will knock you off.”

            She walked into her bedroom, and I remained where I stood, staring at the man-turned-doll.

            Although he was turned from me, he called, “Doug, you’re still there?”

            “Yes,” I murmured.

            “I know it’s nasty, but…will you touch me?  I’m a doll, and she says I’m female, so maybe it won’t be that weird for you…”

            I couldn’t take pity on this man, and there was no way I wanted to touch this ornate little girl doll anyway.  The whole idea disgusted me.  “Sorry, can’t do that to Rhodora,” I said.

            “Oh, God help me…” the little doll lamented.  I wondered what was bothering him more, the fact that he was a female figurine or the fact that his desire was unfulfilled.

            “Rhod, you forgot Doug and Jake!” Tommy yelled towards the bedroom.

            “I’m fine.  I like this form.  I’m thin, hard, and large.  It’s good,” said Jake.

            “I didn’t forget anyone.”  She emerged, wrapped in a terrycloth robe.  “This is Simon.”  She tied the robe’s string around her hips, and I swear it giggled.  “If you’re good like that, Jake, I’ll let you enjoy.  Meanwhile, Doug, since you took your punishment so well, you deserve an award.  I’d like something nice to wear tonight…”

            “Oh, a nightgown…” breathed Jake.

            “Would you like me to wear you tonight?”

            I didn’t need to think twice.  “God, yes.”

            I was shrinking, growing lighter and thinner, and, with a burst of ecstasy, I crumpled to the floor.  She picked me up, stroking me against her face.  “Oh, Doug, you’re so soft.”  She brought me into her room and closed the door.

            “Have fun!” Someone yelled from behind us.

            She walked in front of a full-length mirror and held me up.  I was actually quite attractive; I was a shiny red ankle-length silk, with thin straps.  “I promise to make you beautiful,” I murmured as she laid me out on her bed.  From my vantage point, I could see her untie Simon and remove him.  She was completely naked, and seeing her lovely figure made me quite aroused.  As a nightgown, the feeling of arousal did not center in one area; it flowed through my filmy material like lightning, and I groaned contentedly.  “Wear me, Rhodora.  Quick.  Please, put me on.”

            “Patience, Doug.  Patience.”  She approached me, lightly scraping her nails down my material.  Delightful shivers ran through me.

            “Rhodora,” I gasped.

            “Sh… just let me pleasure you a bit.  You’ll find soft forms quite…stimulating,” she smiled, making little circles through my fabric with her fingers.  She then bent down and ran her tongue up my front, and I couldn’t speak, it was so overwhelming.  “Wear me, wear me,” I finally forced out.  “Oh, God, let me envelop your naked form…”

            Then I was falling over those breasts, those hips…she was inside of me, I was all around her… touching her skin everywhere…

            She began to stroke herself through me, first rubbing her breasts, then her fingers straying to her crotch.  As she played with herself through my thin folds, I was simply one large wave of electricity, building as she built, going over the edge, building again…I don’t know how many times I orgasmed, but more than she did, I was sure.  And she did quite a few times.  “Oh, Doug, I feel your excitement, the arousal comes through your material, and it excites me even more…” She pushed me over her folds, crushing me into her, pumping into me, groaning…

            “Rhodora, your skin feels so good against me… Rub me harder, push me, use me for your pleasure…”

            Finally, both exhausted, we lay back on the bed.  “Doug, you are amazing,” she purred, caressing her chest through me.

            “It’s all you…” I stammered.  Even when she stopped stroking me, I remained aroused because I was rubbing across her nipples, I was caught between her legs…I was surrounding her naked body, and it was wonderful.  I don’t know how either of us ever slept that night. 

            I awoke to a sun-filled bedroom, and a burst of momentary fear ran through me as I realized I was paralyzed and…flat.

            But as Rhodora stirred, she rubbed me against the sheets, and the amazing stimulation began to run through my form once again.  “I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” I moaned happily, and the rousing goddess smoothed her hands down me in response.

            “We’ll have all the time in the world to do this again, Doug, but right now, let’s see how my friend Carl enjoyed the night.”  She jumped from her bed, throwing Simon over me.

            “You like being her nightgown?” the bathrobe asked.

            Somewhat jarred at hearing the robe speak, I stuttered, “Yes.  You like being her robe?”

            “I want to be nothing but her robe.  Ever.  And I have to say—it feels good when you rub against me.  You’re very silky.”

            Okay.  Another weird situation.  “Uh, thanks?” I responded guardedly, and Rhodora laughed at us.  She opened the bedroom door and walked into the front room.

    “Well, how’d we do, Carl?” she directed to the motionless figurine.

            Tommy was the first to speak.  “My God, Rhod!  He wouldn’t shut up all night.  First it was ‘I need someone to touch me’, then there were the usual moans of pleasure from being transformed, then he was cursing you out—”

            “So you haven’t learned your lesson, Carl?”

            The little doll pleaded in its girlish voice, “Please let me go.”

            Rhodora regarded him.  “You’ll leave me alone?”

            “Yes, please, just…make me me again.”

            “You believe this bastard, Rhodora?” asked Jake with quite a bit of cynicism.

            Rhodora cast her head back, uttering peals of laughter.  “Whatever he does, no one will believe him, and then I’ll get him and do all kinds of great stuff with him!  In fact, I hope he does misbehave!” With the requisite rush of air, Carl grew to his full height and slowly the porcelain features melted back into humanity.  After a gasp and a stretch of his arms, Officer Scottson burst from the house without looking back.

            “Not even a thank you,” commented Lee.

            “Rhodora, you know he’s going to do something drastic,” said Steve.

            “I sure hope so,” she replied with a nasty snicker.  “Now,” she turned to the rest of the room.  “Let’s do this fish thing already.  Everyone ready to be fish?”

            “Can you make me the water?” asked Joey the picture frame.

            Rhodora took him from his spot on the wall.  “I know you wanted to try a liquid.  Let me just get my picture out of you.”  She opened his back and removed a pretty watercolor, which she set on a side table.  She picked him up, and, even from my vantage point hanging off of Rhodora, I could see the frame was quivering with excitement.

            Rhodora noted this too as she approached the Jake-tank.  “Yes, Joey, enjoy.  A liquid transformation is so satisfying.  Especially when I increase how much there is off you.”  She held the frame over the edge of the tank and stroked it as it began to contort and grow transparent. 

            “This should be nice,” uttered the waiting Jake.

            Rhodora let go as Joey spilled from her hand with a triumphant “Yes!”.   He hit the bottom of the tank with a splash, and then began to increase in volume.

            “Oh, he’s loving that,” murmured Tommy.

            “So am I,” Jake added blissfully.

            As Joey filled Jake to the brim, Rhodora ran her hand across Tommy.  “You first, my dear?”

            “Make me a big one!” Tommy cried as he creaked and shrank until he was flopping on the floor as a large goldfish.  Rhodora quickly scooped him up and tossed him into the water, where he began to swim around quite happily.  In this fashion, each object-person was transformed, until all that was left was Rhodora, me, and a very empty house.

            “I didn’t know there were so many people here,” I commented.

            “Some of my men don’t want to talk, but you can meet them as fish.”

            “Talking fish?  How?”

            “No,” she laughed.  “In the water, we’ll speak telepathically.”  With that, she pulled me over her head and dangled me over the water that was Joey.  “Change, my dear.”

            The change from nightgown to animal was odd.  I went from flat and flimsy, to small, compact, and able to breathe in the water.  Instead of growing limbs, I felt fins bursting forth where arms and legs should be, and my vision was strangely changed, having an eye on each side of my scaly head. 

            But bursting through the water this way felt great.  I noticed my other tank-mates were now staring through the glass, and I followed their gaze.  Rhodora stood there, in perfect nakedness, watching her new creations happily.

            Come join us, Rhodora!  Tommy called in his mind.

            “I will,” she answered gleefully.  “I’m just so happy I have you all.  To share with, to love…” She shrank down to what appeared to be a ball of light, then dove into the tank, growing into a carp so large, we all cowered in a corner.  I won’t eat you, guys!  She laughed in her mind.  Timidly, each of us approached her, rubbing at her, making her (and us) enjoy our new forms.

            A giantess carp.  What else could a little goldfish ask for? 

 I found that, as Rhodora had mentioned, some of her other 'friends' were more willing to communicate as fish, even though we were doing this through telepathic means. Tommy had explained that some people, when in object form, preferred to play the part to the fullest. Objects simply do not speak, and usually, unless Rhodora spoke to them, several of the object-men kept to themselves. Tommy, on the other hand, loved to talk, no matter what form he was in. He introduced me to Lance, who had been spending his days as a very expensive-looking floor lamp. Apparently, in Lance's case, the constant bliss of a current running through him left him speechless. Of course, I needed details...

Oh, Doug, you have to become something electric, Lance exclaimed, wagging his tail fin excitedly. That's why I stay a lamp. The form itself is great- tall, thin, metal- but when you're plugged in, especially when you're turned on... that amazing rush of...power... It's everywhere, it's constant, and it's...amazing! I can't wait to get back to it, honestly. Rhodora likes us to occasionally be in a form that's mobile, I guess she figures it's good for our minds, but...oh, God. Ask her to make you an appliance or something. You have to!

 So, I guess the next step was to become a vacuum cleaner. I made something of a laugh at this idea, but the sound came out of my fish-mouth as a burst of small bubbles. How weird this felt, being scaly, small, and buoyant...

Rhodora, grand and large, swam by. You enjoying yourself, Doug?

Yes, it's really great! Apparently I need to become something electrical, from what Lance was telling me?

 Bubbles streamed from the carp's mouth. Yes! Of course! Let's see, you want to be my hairdryer for a bit?

 I could breathe my warmth through her delightful hair, drying it, making it shiny...

But my dreams were shattered by voices outside the front door.

“Don't knock! What the hell, Bryce? You have to catch the bitch by surprise!”

“Why? So we can see her turn into a dragon?”

“You bastard! I'm serious!”

“Carl, we can't just break in! Come on, I'm the chief of police! You have no warrant, you-”

“Screw the warrant! I have to save the world from this crazy witch-lady!”

Before anyone could react, the door burst open, revealing Officer Scottson and another man, obviously Bryce. Carl exploded into the room and stopped, pointing at the fish tank. “See, I told you!”

The other man walked in and studied the glass structure. “Uh, it's a fish tank.”

“It's not! It's a man! She transformed him!”

Bryce tapped his finger against the glass. I knew Jake was probably having a hard time not saying anything. “Carl, it's a fish tank. It's glass. It's not a person. There's fish in it.”

Carl flew at the man, his eyes bulging out. “It wasn't here before! And the fish, it's them! Her, and all the men that went missing! You have to believe me!”

Bryce clicked his tongue, and walked around the perimeter of the tank. “Well, if it's a person, she did a nice job taking flesh and blood and converting it to half-inch plate glass.” He knocked on it again, and gazed inside at us.

Asshole, Tommy commented.

We'll get him, don't worry. He knows I'd never hurt a fly, Rhodora assured us.

You should turn him into a fly, suggested Eric, who had apparently been the china closet until now.

Yeah, then make me a fly swatter and put me to good use, contributed Simon, of bathrobe fame.

 “She's got nice fish,” Bryce commented.

Carl made eye contact with Rhodora, and she made a blatantly obvious wink. “That's her! She turned herself into a huge fish! Get her out of there before she eats them all!” Crazed, Carl tried to crawl up the side of the tank. Sliding down the glass only made him angrier. He pulled up a stool, apologizing to it in case it was a person (which it wasn't), and flailed his hands around in the water.

Damn, that feels good, murmured Joey. Keep it up, bastard. Every ripple in me is its own sexual experience!

“Carl! Carl! Cut it out! You're losing it, man!”

Rhodora swam between Carl's fingers, teasing him mercilessly, but he could not get a grip on her. “You bitch! I'll squeeze you to death! They don't believe me! No one believes me!”

“Other than the fact that this is an odd place to have a huge fish tank, I see nothing abnormal about,” he gazed around the room, “anything here. Let's get you home, and I want you to take a vacation. You need one.”

Withdrawing his hands from the water, Carl shrieked, “No. You can't leave me alone. She'll get me.” He stared down at us as we congregated right below him. Tommy waved his fin tauntingly. “That one waved at me! Didn't you see? That damn fish waved at me! With his fin!”

“Take a month off, Officer.” Bryce walked out the front door.

Carl stood on the stool, paralyzed, glancing around in fear. “No...no, come back! She'll make me something horrible, like...a pig, or a shoe, or...” He continued to stutter out a long list of ideas, but the door shut behind his boss with finality.

“Oh God! Oh, God!” Carl toppled to the floor with a clunk.

“You're screwed,” said the fish tank merrily.

 As Rhodora the fish grew into a solid beam of light beside us, Carl scrambled to get back to his feet.

“You seriously think you can escape?” Jake cackled delightedly as the officer made a mad dash to the front door.

The beam of light poured out of our tank and flowed into the room. It created a ring around the frightened man, who tried to push through it. “That won't stop me!” he yelled at the glow, which started to emit an odd laughter.

“Well, this might,” Rhodora's voice echoed eerily from the light, and suddenly she was flames.

The ring of fire did not touch the ceiling, nor did it seem to be burning anything. But Carl stood inside it, shivering, trying not to let the living blaze touch his skin.

She is so damned awesome, Simon said beside me. I just wish she was wearing me right now.

I think you'd go on fire, Tommy pointed out.

No. She'd never hurt me, Simon replied assuredly.

I want to be fire, added Lance. No, maybe I could be electricity, or a photon...you think she could do that?

“Okay, Rhodora. You have me,” Carl blubbered, his eyes locked on the odd phenomenon surrounding him. “Just, do it already. I...give up,” he slunk to the floor and curled up, his hands cradling his knees.

The fire continued to crackle, and we knew Rhodora's mind was at work. “Carl, you know no one is here against their will, and I have never hurt anyone. So why would you have a problem with me?”

“It's wrong, it's unnatural, and... you can destroy the world with power like that! You need to be controlled, and studied, and...stopped! I don't care that you're helping these...disturbed men live their fantasies! They have lives! They're people, not objects for your pleasure!”

“We want to be here, you asshole. We wouldn't have it any other way!” Jake muttered. “And I shudder to think what your fantasies are. At least ours are harmless.”

His fantasies probably involve blood and guts, added Joey.

Suddenly the flames drew together, and Rhodora formed, looking tired. She ran her hand over her leg and glanced at Carl. “I need you,” she murmured.

“Need?” He tried to run, but his body stiffened. He could only stare as his legs melded together, and his arms melted into his body. “Oh, no. Oh, God, what are you doing now?”

Rhodora smiled, and walked towards him. His feet fused and he fell stiffly to the floor, shrinking and thrashing all the while. When his body was thin enough, Rhodora grabbed him and held him up, watching him transform in her very grip.

“What are you making me? Please, I'm getting...small, and, blue....and...hard....”

Jake snickered. “Well, I'm getting one of those things...well, at least in my mind I am.”

“No...no...” but the officer's head melted away, leaving his features behind, etched in blue plastic.

“Oh, it's nice to hold someone as they transform,” Rhodora commented blithely. “Definitely fun.” She looked down at the plastic T-shaped object she now held, and ran her finger down it. “Oh, Carl, I like you like this.”

“What the hell am I now?” he moaned in a small, defeated voice.

“Try to guess. Meanwhile, let's get everyone back to what they want to be,” she tossed Carl onto the table and began to put us back into our normal object-forms. Transforming from fish to chair, for me, was quite an experience, I had to admit. Rhodora tossed me to the floor and I began to flail for air, the ultimate fish out of water. But then the pleasure of transforming set in, and I relaxed as I began to grow. I felt my fins and tail begin to form into my four legs, and my fish-head tilted upward, forming my back. I could feel my body solidifying into the familiar wood, and soon I was happily back as an inanimate object.

My friends were restored as well, and Rhodora turned back to her 'victim'. “Okay, Carl, what are you?  Did you guess?” she cried, even more fatigued from all the changes she had brought on.

“Mmf,” Carl murmured.

“Oh, I threw you down on your face. Poor little razor.” Rhodora picked the object up.

“Razor?!” gasped Carl. “Oh, my God, no.”

Rhodora tapped at the little plastic face. “Oh, my God, yes! Yes, Carl!” She practically skipped into the bathroom, gripping him tightly. As the bath water went on, we could still hear Carl's protests and Rhodora's answers to him. “Come on, Carl, don't you feel good that way?”

“Yes, but...you're going to...shave with me...That's just...Oh, no! Please, the...no...”

“Shaving cream will help you glide over my skin. It should be even more pleasant for you, you idiot!”

“Why do you need to shave? Can't you just change your legs so they're hairless?”

“I do. But this is even more fun!”

Joey, the original picture frame, began to grumble from where he lay on the table. Rhodora had not gotten around to putting a picture back in him, so he merely lay there, empty. “You know, that's hardly a punishment.”

Thinking about this, I agreed. First the idea of participating in hair removal was not something that sounded appealing to me. But, then, gliding across the skin of a goddess, smoothing it, rubbing it... well, I considered asking for the same 'punishment' myself one of these days...

“Stop it, it's...oooh....Rhodora, my....ooohhh....”

The protests were quashed, and only pleasurable moans now emanated from the bathroom.

“I hate him,” said Tommy.

Rhodora emerged, clad in Simon the bathrobe. She looked radiant as she brandished the silenced police officer in the air. “Now that was a shave!” she cried triumphantly. “I swear to you, a person transformed into a razor works better than the real thing! I mean, Carl, you never dulled!”

“I have a good blade,” he mumbled.

“That's his punishment, Rhodora?” Steve asked, obviously hoping for something far worse.

“Oh, hardly. I just needed a razor. If any of you want to try it, let me know!”

“I'm not done?” cried Carl in horror.

Ignoring Carl, most of us volunteered to be her next razor. She grinned. “We'll pick names out of a hat, I guess.”

“I'll be the hat,” Jake volunteered.

Carl raised his voice. “I can't go home yet?”

Rhodora ran her finger down his bumpy front, and he shuddered. “No, Carl. I need to teach you. We need you to stay put.” She opened her hand, letting him lay on her palm.

“Oh...no...I learned my lesson, I–”

“Now Carlie, you said that last time...”

Rhodora began to stroke the object tantalizingly, drawing gasps and moans from him as his form shrank even more. He could not utter a word between the sounds, and I wondered if he even knew that he was changing.

“What are you making him?” I asked, enthralled.

She put her other finger to her lips with a giggle. “Sh. You'll see!”

 Rhodora held something tiny and spherical between her thumb and forefinger. She rolled it around momentarily, just gazing at it.

“What am I? I can't move! What did you do to me?” The object's cries were muffled by Rhodora's fingers, and it did not receive any response. “Okay...okay...I'm round...I'm small...am I one of those little rubber balls? No, I feel like I'm hard, and...maybe a pebble...Oh, God, are you going to toss me outside and let me live out my life like this? Rhodora, please, no! Help me, chair-guy!”

I chuckled. I liked that – 'Chair-guy'. Although 'Chair-man' sounded better, as if I were the head of a company or something. “What is he, Rhodora?” I asked, half for Carl's benefit, and half to satisfy my own curiosity.

“Want to guess, Doug?” She played with the transformed officer some more.

“Uh, well, I'm guessing he's not a gumball,” I stuttered. I did not like the policeman enough to allow him that particular, very erotic, experience.

Rhodora laughed her musical laugh. “No, dear. He's a seed!”

Several of the objects in the room made surprised sounds.

“Oh, my God! No! Please! Don't...plant me! I'll be stuck in the dirt...It'll be dark, I won't be able to see...I'll be trapped...”

“Seeds usually can't see,” snapped Joey. “You're lucky she gives you that ability. Too bad she's letting you talk, however.”

“Rhodora, there's no way I'm going to be a flowerpot for him,” said Jake. “That asshole is not growing in me, no matter what he is.”

“Oh, Jake,” Rhodora scoffed. She tossed Carl into her pocket, and we heard small, muted yelps emanate forth. Ignoring them, she scooped up a plastic fork that lay on the table and it became a flowerpot filled with soil. She dug the seed back out of her pocket. “In you go, Carl!” she pushed him into the dirt.

“No! No!” His cries were smothered as she covered him up and poured water into the soil.

“Mmm, that's....actually...delicious,” we heard from within.

“Can you shut him up, Rhodora? He's been moaning all night,” Tommy requested the next morning.

“He's growing. He's going to sprout soon,” Rhodora giggled, studying the soil. “I made him a fast-growing plant.” She added more water, and a 'thanks, I needed that' emanated from the depths of the pot.

I could only imagine the bliss that the officer was experiencing. The sounds that issued forth as he victoriously burst through the soil could only be described as sexual, and I could not understand why Rhodora was allowing him this. How could this possibly punish the man?

Not that I had any say in this. I was simply a chair.

We watched Carl's small leaves unfurl over only hours, and he visibly grew larger. I wondered how Rhodora was able to affect his growth rate, but then again, this was a woman that could change matter at her whim. If she wanted to create a very fast-growing plant, I guess it was as easy as any other transformation was.

“More water!” the officer called to Rhodora, who was off cooking something in the kitchen.

Singing to herself, she walked into the room, drying her hands on an apron she wore. She did not appear annoyed in the least; in fact, as she picked up the watering pot to deliver its goods, she looked surprisingly happy. “Say please, my little houseplant,” she prompted him.

“Please. Please!” the plant begged. As the water rained down on him, he somehow tilted his leaves to receive it. “Ah, it tastes...so nice. I never realized water tasted like anything.” Carl's voice was remarkably calm for a person that was sentenced to an indefinite time as greenery.

“Yes, it's quite different when you 'drink' as a plant, isn't it, Carl?”

“Yes. I'm growing more roots as we speak...I can't stand to miss a single drop.”

“Would you like some fertilizer?” Rhodora offered sweetly.

“God, yes.”

Many of us mumbled about Carl's treatment, but none of us wanted to hurt Rhodora. We figured she must know what she was doing, so we kept relatively quiet.

Although, viewing Carl's 'punishment', I think all of us would have liked to join him.

Carl had grown into a healthy, robust plant, and he seemed quite proud of himself when Rhodora allowed him to view himself in a mirror. “Can you open the blinds more? I'd love some sun,” he requested, and she gleefully complied.

“Carl, will you flower for me?”

“Can I?”

“Try it.”

Somehow, Carl figured it out. A new stem grew from the wealth of leaves. “I'm budding!” he cried joyfully.

“Yay for you,” mumbled Tommy.

“Keep going!” Rhodora encouraged.

We all watched closely as the bud swelled. “Yes...yes...” Carl was mumbling, as if he was concentrating deeply. “Here it comes...YES!”

If anyone else had heard his jubilant outburst, they would have assumed that he was experiencing something far different than his flower opening....

“Oh, you're beautiful, Carl! Lovely! Do more!” Rhodora clapped her hands in delight, and Carl began to send up more buds.

“No problem!” he said, pushing more and more flowers to open.

“Isn't it nice to experience a different form, Carl?”

“Yes. Yes it is,” he answered solemnly. Another bud popped open.

Rhodora was sitting on me, but her eyes were distant. She drew her finger tantalizingly down my back. “The sun feels nice on my leaves when I'm a plant,” she murmured. “I might do that for a while. Would you guys mind?”

There was a general consensus of “no”s.

“Anyone want to join me?”

I know many of us did, but it sounded like she was tired and simply wanted to rest. I watched her create her own flowerpot, and she began to shrink down, stepping into it. Suddenly she glanced up. “Doug?”

I wanted to be with her desperately, and she looked like she wanted me to as well.

“Sure.” I dissolved into light, much like Rhodora had. I had no body, no substance. It almost felt like I was floating for too long in a pool. There was no head, no limbs; I was simply...a mind. Maybe this was what it felt like to be a ghost. If there were such things as ghosts...

I was drawn into the dirt, and I felt myself becoming more solid. But what would have been my feet were growing into roots, and I could feel every one. I was becoming a stalk, and I was pushing out my leaves in rapid succession. I burst into flower...and yes, it was definitely a 'burst'. My plant body was tingling with pleasure for a long time after.

A daisy giggled beside me. “What a happy little tulip!” it exclaimed. Yes, it had a face. Like any good children's cartoon, the daisy had features. Only this was no cartoon. It was Rhodora.

We stood side-by-side for a while, Rhodora allowing me to revel in my form while she rested.

I liked being a plant; the sun felt nice on my leaves, and I could taste the very moisture in the soil I stood in. I felt an energy unlike I had ever felt before – I assumed my chloroplasts were busy at work making energy from the sunlight. But it flowed through my fleshy form, invigorating me. How could you let Carl have this experience? I thought you were trying to punish him! I asked Rhodora in our minds. Apparently I was not a talking tulip.

The daisy almost seemed to stretch and yawn, and it turned to me. You win more flies with honey than vinegar, she quoted, and then I understood.

I don't know how long we remained plants, but it was several days. It was so enjoyable, that the days ran into the nights, and only the lack of sun on my leaves occasionally knocked me out of my reverie. And through this all, Carl grew into an even more impressive specimen. When Rhodora changed me back, she placed the mirror in front of the new plant, and Carl was so pleased with his appearance, he managed to sprout several more flower buds. “I love this!” he cried triumphantly. “Don't ever change me back!”

And right then, it seemed that everything grew still and quiet, even though everyone except Rhodora was inanimate.

The plant became Officer Scottson.

He looked down at himself in alarm, flailing his arms about wildly. “No! No! Wait! I'm not...done...I was growing...Oh, please...” He stood still, scrunching his eyes tightly closed. When he opened them, he was still human, and his eyes grew watery. “No, Rhodora,” he whispered, grasping her hand tightly. “Please, I understand now.” He turned and let his gaze trail around the room. “I understand all of you, and I'm so sorry that I was so awful. It's beautiful to be what I was. We're all escaping humanity this way. Please, Rhodora, give me back my form. You made me beautiful, and I didn't deserve it.”

Rhodora had a hard but satisfied look on her face. “I'd like to, Carl, but it's time for you to get back to your life. Your vacation time is up, and your boss will be wondering what happened to you. Then they'll probably think I murdered you or something.”

Carl's jaw fell open in shock. “My job doesn't matter now! I just want to drink in the sun...to sip the cool water with my roots...Please, Rhodora. I don't care what they think.”

“But I do,” she said, nudging him gently to the door. “I can't continue to live here if I'm under investigation. I'll have to go somewhere else.”

“No! No, don't leave, please!” Carl begged.

“Then you must go back to keep us all safe.”

The officer gulped. “I will guard you with my life, Rhodora.”

She smiled. “And if you do, then you'll be rewarded. Whenever you like, whether it's vacation, a weekend, or simply a weeknight, you come by here, and I'll turn you back.”

“To a plant?”

“To whatever you like.”

Officer Scottson jumped up and planted a kiss on her cheek. She blushed, and he stumbled back in embarrassment. “Sorry....I just...”

“Is it a deal?”

“It's a deal.”

Carl Scottson was true to his word. Rhodora's name was cleared, and, as the months and years went on, he took care of any 'strange disappearances' so no more suspicion would be placed on her. Several new people joined us; Rhodora was quite happy with the man that became her new, working, shower stall. I took a turn as her vacuum, a hairdryer, a computer...Well, the list was endless, and it continues on. Once in a while I yearn for humanity, and Rhodora grants my wish. I flit in and out of the world, sometimes leaving Rhodora for months at a time, but I always find my way back to her, just as Carl Scottson does. For a while at night he would come by to experiment with different forms, but he always went back to being a plant.

And every weekend, he blossoms.

THE END