Three.

Two.

One.

I stepped forward, a controlled half-step, one that elicited no disapproving glares and no lashes to my bare feet. The branch of a walnut tree slid against my exposed thigh, but it didn’t break. Thankfully. The ranchers would have scolded me for such a disruption.

They rode on horses, herding cattle, not more than thirty yards ahead of me on the road. At least I hoped it was thirty yards. My current owner, Branford, had ordered me to maintain that distance. With the afternoon sun at my back, I’d been using my own shadow as the measuring stick, since I’d been told my height was over twenty-six yards.

Clever.

Of course, Branford would disagree. That’s why he was selling me today; I was too stupid to handle simple tasks on his ranch. Too stupid to avoid tripping and tearing the roof off his barn. And as the sun dipped further in the sky, as my shadow lengthened, undermining the reliability of my ‘measuring stick’, I once again acknowledged his assessment of my intelligence.

Half-step.

Still, I hoped someone would purchase me at the noonday auction. Otherwise, I’d be left to starve, and I didn’t want to die. Not yet. I might be too stupid to deserve life, but I wanted to live — extremely selfish as Branford had rightfully accused, but I feared death. And I couldn’t control my fears.

Half-step.

Sweat dripped from the tip of my nose and landed on my right foot, absorbed by dirt-caked skin. Strands of muddy hair hung over my eyes and stuck to my neck. Matching my hair’s filth and stickiness, perspiration-soaked linens wrapped my torso and waist. If my new owner valued cleanliness, I’d be doomed.

“Fyth!” Branford circled back on his horse, trotted up to my toes, and pointed toward a concrete platform. “Get o’er thar ya worthless sack. Stand up straight and don’t hunch yer shoulders. Remember if no one buys ya, I sure as hell ain’t keepin ya.”

“Yes, sir.” I winced as a drop fell from my chin and splashed on his leg.

“Get!” He cracked the whip, but the mud on my toes blocked most of the sting.

I walked carefully around the cattle and the other ranchers, stepping onto a platform that had been cleared to make room for larger animals. The crowd grumbled and several groups departed for the surrounding refreshment stands.

“Hold up.” The auctioneer bellowed into the microphone. He paced in front of my feet, waving his hand. “What we got here is a fine specimen of bioengineering: none other than a Fyth from Serus Prime. Nineteen years old and standing at seventy-nine feet tall, she’ll pull as much as a hundred oxen.”

“Yeh, she’ll eat as much as a hundred oxen too,” someone in the crowd yelled out. A bold-faced lie, but I kept my mouth shut and endured the chorus of laughter that followed the man’s remark.

Undeterred, the auctioneer continued. “She speaks English, she’s had her shots, and she just ate three days ago, so —”

My stomach growled, evoking another round of laughter. It had been a week since my last meal, not three days, and I was starving.

“Start the bidding at two hundred dollars.” The auctioneer pointed his finger toward the the outer railing. “And we’ve got two hundred. Do I hear three?”

“I heard she’s clumsier than One-Eyed Jonas after a handle of Jim Beam,” someone yelled.

I ignored the chuckles and concentrated on the bidder, zooming my vision to magnify his appearance. He looked young, much younger than Branford. Black sunglasses concealed his eyes and intricate tattoos covered his forearms. His tousled hair was dark brown and long for a man, too long for a farmer. Why would he want to purchase a Fyth like me?

It didn’t matter. I would have a new owner, a new residence, a new permission to live...

“Sold to the man in the back for two hundred!” The auctioneer pounded a wooden gavel.

Relief flooded my body and I exhaled.

I stepped off the stage and walked to the loading area, a wide-open field where customers claimed their purchases. A few barns lined the main road, but I kept my distance from them.

A pickup truck, old with rusty fenders, stopped at the loading area’s entrance. The driver handed cash to the collector and drove up to my feet, a trail of dust in his wake.

The man, my new owner, stepped out and walked up to me. He wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t carrying a whip either. If anything, he appeared a bit nervous, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, the other holding a Fyth command pamphlet open. Maybe he’d never owned a Fyth before.

“Kneel.” He pocketed his sunglasses and looked up, his blue eyes shielded from the glare by my shadow.

I knelt onto both knees, sitting back on my feet as I’d been trained. I may be stupid, but I knew the basic commands and how to execute each with precision. Though clumsy, I’d never harmed a human, and I never would. I’d end my own life if I thought otherwise.

“Up,” he said.

I lowered my right hand, fingers unfurled, and waited for him to board. After a brief hesitation, he stepped into the center of my palm. I mentally cringed at the dirt — should’ve licked it clean beforehand, but I forgot.

I paused long enough to determine he didn’t plan on sitting, and lifted him to my face. My hand didn’t waver, not in the least. Even standing, he was in no danger of falling, but some humans preferred to sit.

“Mouth o —” He sighed. “Fuck it. You understand English right?”

“Yes.” I spoke in a low volume. No one was nearby to hear our conversation, but I didn’t want to stress his ears.

“Good.” He tossed the pamphlet, leaving it to flutter to the ground. “Now open your mouth.”

I complied, drawing my tongue back and lips up.

“Looks like you’ve got all your teeth.” His feet shifted against my skin. “You’re dirty and you smell like sweat, but you appear to be in good health.”

I nodded slightly, eager to confirm his assessment. Fyth’s didn’t generally have health problems, especially after receiving vaccinations to human ailments. We healed from injuries quickly and feared little beyond starvation.

“What’s your name?”

“F-1235, sir.”

“No, not your identification number. Your name.”

“I don’t have one, sir.”

“Stop calling me sir. My name is Kenji. What do you mean you don’t have a name?”

“I haven’t been assigned one, s — Kenji.”

“Well, what do you want your name to be?”

“My name?” I fought to control my nerves, unaccustomed to such a strange conversation. “I don’t know. Branford called me Fyth.”

“Branford’s a fucking moron. That would be like you calling me Human. See the problem?”

I blinked. I didn’t see the problem. There weren’t many of my species on this planet. Surely my race would be enough to distinguish me from other animals.

“You’re not too bright, are you?”

“No, sir. I’m sorry. I’m not very smart at all.”

He scratched his head, messy hair becoming even more disheveled. “You know how to work a farm?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re not going to stop calling me sir, are you?”

I looked down, unsure of how to respond. I’d already forgotten his simple request and we’d only just met. He wouldn’t keep me. He’d probably demand his money back or —

He laughed briefly and massaged his left eyebrow. “Your name is Alani. Got it?”

I nodded. Alani. A weird feeling sprouted in my chest, a warm feeling, but not like the sun on my back. Why? Was I getting sick? That couldn’t happen. And strangely...it felt good.

In spite of my preventative efforts, my stomach rumbled again.

“I figured that asshole wasn’t feeding you. I’ve got a load of Rouean in the truck bed. Put me down.”

I lowered him to the ground, my mouth salivating as my eyes stole glances at the covered object in the back of his truck. Rectangular and roughly six by four feet, the payload matched the dimensions for a Rouean container.

“This shit’s expensive, so you’re going to have to do some work to pay me back.” He removed the cover and I whimpered at the sight of the precious liquid, it’s metallic green color visible through the translucent container. I hadn’t meant to make a sound, but my body had acted of its own accord. I could barely restrain my hand from reaching for the sustenance.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Might as well drink it here. I sure as hell ain’t lugging it all the way back home.”

I nodded and carefully plucked the container from the truck, it’s rear rising with the lessened load. After unscrewing the top, I poured the contents into my mouth, careful not to spill a drop. The taste surprised me so much that I almost choked. Top quality, high grade Rouean — a delicacy that Branford had never purchased.

As I screwed the cap back on and returned the empty container to the truck, I reveled in the sensation of raw energy. Scratches and cuts healed within seconds, exponentially faster than they ever had in the past. Tears of gratitude stung my eyes. Although the initial sensation wouldn’t last long, I didn’t deserve to feel this incredible. I didn’t deserve an owner like Kenji.

“I might not always be able to afford the premium shit, so don’t expect this every week. Had to sell my motorcycle for a month’s supply of this stuff.”

“Thank you.” Moisture rolled down my cheeks and seeped into my mouth, tasting both salty and dirty. I wiped my face with the heel of my hand.

“Stop crying. Got a few miles to drive and I don’t want people thinking I’m already beating you.”

He tossed the tarp over the container, but it slid to the side. I pinched a corner and pulled it all the way over.

“Thanks,” he said as he secured the ropes. “I’ll be driving around forty miles per hour. Think you can keep up?”

I nodded. Although his description of speed meant nothing to me, I couldn’t imagine the little truck moving much faster than a galloping horse on the dirt road.

And to me, a galloping horse was slow.

***

“Shit.” Kenji knelt to examine the flat rear tire. It had popped several minutes into the journey, and he didn’t have a spare.

I marveled at the pickup, red with white letters on the back: F O R D. I didn’t know what those letters meant, but I’d seen them on a few other trucks we passed. Humans created such amazing machines.

I’d walked beside the road, several yards away to avoid distracting motorists or damaging the ground. But I’d walked, relishing every step as his speed nearly matched my full stride. No more half steps. Whatever forty miles per hour meant, I hoped he’d travel that fast again, or maybe a little faster.

Since no vehicles approached from either direction, I stepped toward the road and knelt behind him, knees pressing into the grass and shrubs. The wheels on the vehicle were composed of a soft material, even softer than the thin metal that comprised the truck’s frame. I knew this from the time I’d accidentally stepped on the back of Branford’s truck.

Kenji sighed, slumped against the tire, and ran a hand through his hair. “My dad always waited until something broke. Get new tires when they’re bald? Nah, just wait till they fuckin’ explode he’d say.

“Same thing he said about his chest pains before his heart attack. Don’t need a doctor, just wait till it fuckin’ explodes. Now I get to clean up his mess and I haven’t got a fuckin’ clue what I’m doing. Fuck!”

He slammed his head back into the fender, and rust flaked to the ground. After a few deep breaths, his eyes met mine. “And you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.”

I didn’t move because he didn’t ask me a question. And because I was confused. Although most of what he’d said made no sense, it had upset him and I didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing. Every human had two parents, and the loss of a mother or father frequently caused sadness. Maybe his dad died recently.

“Well, we’re walking.” He headed down the road. “Luckily, only a couple miles left. Got a spare tire at home —” He stopped and turned to me. “You coming?”

“Should I bring your truck?”

“What?” He scratched his head. “You mean carry it back home?”

“I’ll be careful not to break it.”

“I’m not worried about that. I just...well, I guess I can’t see why not. Go ahead; carry it. Saves me a trip back.”

“Do you want to get in first?”

He paused, then walked to the driver’s side door and opened it. “You know, you’re not a complete idiot. I don’t care what they say.” He hopped into the vehicle and closed the door.

Even though he was wrong, even though he’d change his mind over time, I couldn’t contain my smile. I’d had a good idea, and he seemed happier because of it.

I slid my fingers under the truck and raised it into the air. Holding my breath, I stood and brought it to my chest, concentrating on balance. So light, so fragile; he might not be worried, but I was.

He rolled down the window. “Just keep following the road. Take a right at the intersection and walk until you reach my house.”

“Yes, sir.”

***

By the time we arrived, the sun had ducked halfway behind the trees, painting the farmland in shades of orange and gold. I knelt and set the truck down near a green tractor. Both vehicles rested in front of Kenji’s house, a two story building, sky blue with white around the windows.

“Kenji!” A small girl with long brown hair ran out from the front porch. “You got her! You really got her! She’s so big!” She stopped at my knee and looked up. “Hi, my name’s Lyric. What’s your name?”

I looked at Kenji for guidance, but he was already on his way to the house, his hand massaging his neck. “Alani,” I said.

“Lyric, I want you inside for dinner in twenty minutes!” He disappeared through the door.

“Alani.” Lyric’s eyes widened, blue like Kenji’s. “That’s a pretty name. You’re dirty though. I bet you’d be pretty too if you weren’t so dirty. How did you get so big? My father read stories about f—fites. Are you a fite? You must be, because you’re a giant girl. Even though I’m a girl, father said I’ll never grow as big as a fite. Can I touch you?”

“Yes. Is Kenji your father?”

“No, Kenji’s my brother.” She placed her palms on my knee. Should I warn her not to get dirty? Humans valued cleanliness before they ate.

“You’re so warm.” She plastered her body against my skin, her cheek touching and her arms spread wide. Then, she stepped back and hopped. “Can you lift me up?”

I winced at the smudge on one side of her face. “I don’t know —”

“Please!” She clasped her hands together. “Please, please, please.”

I smiled and lowered my hand. She stepped on and sat down in the middle before I raised her to my face. Only rarely in the past had I interacted with human children. I understood them even less than adults, but something about Lyric tempted laughter to rise from my stomach.

She leaned over the edge of my hand and I readied my other, just in case. “Wow, look how high I am. I can see the roof of our house. Your fingers are as long as me.” She returned to the center, causing me to breathe easier. “You have pretty teeth. Bring me closer to your face, please.”

I sealed my lips shut and brought her close. She crawled forward and touched my lips, my nose, my cheeks, everything within reach. Her tiny fingers tickled but I dare not open my mouth; I didn’t want to frighten her. Some humans had irrational fears about being eaten by a Fyth, and while I doubted Lyric had such fears, I didn’t want to risk it.

After she sat back down, I pulled her away to study her.

“You have pretty eyes,” she said. “They’re purple. I wish I had purple eyes. All the boys at school say I’m ugly. Well, not all of them, but one of them does. I used to like him, but now he’s mean to me and I hate him.” She crossed her arms and frowned.

The human concept of beauty confused me, perhaps because I seldom spoke with women. Was it external, internal, or both? Could it be objectively measured or was it felt, like the way Lyric made me feel... “I think you’re pretty.”

She blinked, then a wide smile replaced her frown. “You do?”

I nodded with enthusiasm. She giggled and my heart lightened. 

Then, she stared at me with a serious expression. “Alani, will you be my friend?”

A concept I understood even less than beauty. “I…”

“It’s ok.” She shrugged. “No one at school wants to be my friend either. I just thought that since you were going to live with us, you might be my friend. You don’t have to though. You’ll still talk to me, right?”

“Yes.” I could see the moisture in her eyes, and I wanted to say more, but I didn’t want to lie.

“Lyric!” Kenji called from the front door. “Inside now!”

She wiped her eyes and her smile returned, though it wasn’t as broad. “Kenji acts mean but he’s nice. He’s just been sad since…”

Not finishing her sentence, she jumped off and waved. “I’ll see you tomorrow after school, Alani!”

“Bye, Lyric.” 

After she shut the door, I focused my eyes on the windows, trying to detect movement. Unfortunately, the drapes blocked most of the view. But what was I doing and why?

Kenji and Lyric fascinated me, unlike any humans in the past. In a single afternoon, I’d experienced a hurricane of emotions, both exhilarating and intoxicating. Would every day be like this?

So small and frail, yet so smart and wise. And kind. My owner gifted me with health and compliments. His sister offered companionship, and she wanted to talk to me.

Without a doubt, that night, I was the happiest Fyth alive.

I awoke to a familiar sting on my forearm. In spite of the pain, I resisted the temptation to bolt upright. All Fyth’s avoided movement, especially quick movement, until accounting for human life in the area — an instinct so strong it bookended all conscious thought.

“‘Bout time. Now sit up.” The gruff command preceded another sting to the same location. The hoarse voice, perhaps altered from a lifetime of yelling, didn’t belong to Kenji. “Ain’t got all day.”

I rose from my side, pushing myself against the dewy grass until I sat facing the man. He wore a flannel shirt, sleeves rolled back and a button missing at the peak of his round stomach. Like albino snakes, gray strands wove in and out of his long beard and a white bull whip undulated on the ground.

“Up.” He cracked the whip against my knee. “And be quick about it.”

I lowered my hand, waited until he boarded, and lifted him to my face. He was the type of man I was accustomed to working with, hard and efficient. His squinty eyes scanned me with merited disdain, and his yellow, gap-toothed frown reminded me of my near worthlessness.

“Looks like the boy went and done it.” He spoke and chewed on something stuffed in his cheek. “Need a new tractor to clear the field; he gets me this instead. Had to pick the ugliest one I ever seen too. His old man be turnin’ in his grave. Probably gave you a name, didn’t he?”

“Yes, sir. My name is —” I flinched as the whip struck my cheekbone.

“I didn’t ask what your name was. When you’re working with me, your name is...Fugly. Because you’re so fuckin’ ugly. Ya hear me?”

I nodded, glancing at the whip, its tip now tinged with red.

“Prove it. What’s your name?”

“F—Fugly, sir.”

“It ain’t F-F-Fugly.” He spat on my hand, a brown liquid that smelled of tobacco and sulfur. “Say it again, you idiot.”

“Fugly, sir.”

“And why is that you’re name?”

“Because I’m ugly.”

“Ain't you got a brain? Cain’t remember what I said two seconds ago? You’re fuckin’ ugly. Now say it right.”

“I’m not allowed to curse, sir.”

“I don’t care.” He glowered, face turning red. “Say it.”

“No, sir.”

He exposed his rotten teeth in a vicious grimace, and raised his whip. “Worthless.” He struck my left cheek. “Brainwashed.” Another strike. “Stupid.” Strike. “Ugly.” Strike.

Breathing heavily, he bent over, hands on his knees. Tears rolled down my cheeks, intensifying the wounds. I’d disappointed him and couldn’t think of a way to make it right. If only I hadn’t been born so ugly, he wouldn’t be so upset. If only I could make myself presentable, he wouldn’t be so repulsed.

“Alright, Fugly.” He spat the remainder of his tobacco wad into my palm. “Name’s Carl. I work for Kenji, but quite frankly, the boy don’t know shit about runnin’ a farm. While he’s at school, I’m the boss. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He’s a fuckin’ pacifist, so you’ll cover those marks with dirt.” He pointed to my cheek and I nodded.

“Put me down. I can’t stand to look at your ugly mug no more.”

I lowered my hand. Before stepping off, he ground the tobacco wad into my skin with his boot.

“Lick your hand clean.”

“Yes, sir.” I licked my palm and fingers, repeatedly, drawing the dirt, sweat, and spit into my mouth. Though it tasted bad, I continued until my skin glistened. Sometimes humans needed parts of a Fyth’s body to be cleaned, and because of our size, we often used the most convenient washrag: our tongues. He probably had a good reason for the request.

“Good.” He grinned and scratched his beard. “Now stick your hand in the dirt and rub it on your face.”

I hid my disappointment; I could've done that without cleaning my hand first. Right? I didn’t understand Carl, but he worked for Kenji and he was human, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The mud stuck to my face and cooled my wound. My saliva had helped moisten the dirt, allowing it to stick better. That made sense; humans really did know best!

“Alright.” His grin broadened. “Now grab a handful of dirt and eat it.”

I blinked. “I’m sorry, sir?”

“You heard me.” His grin dropped.

I quickly used my other hand to scoop a pile of dirt into my palm and brought it to my mouth. Afraid of angering him further, I dumped it on my tongue without delay, and waited for the mass to get wet. After a few seconds, I swallowed, barely suppressing my urge to gag. The rocks scratched my throat as they descended, but a smile tugged at my mouth because I’d done it. Surely he had another good reason for the request.

He burst into laughter, holding his stomach and stomping his foot. “So fucking stupid. So funny, I can’t breathe.”

I’d made him happy, but it felt nothing like making Lyric happy last night. My stomach constricted and a cloudy mass formed at the base of my skull, not from the dirt, but from his reaction.

I missed Lyric and Kenji. I understood them no better than Carl, but they filled me with joy. Carl had the opposite effect, emptying me, even worse than Branford. Much worse — something about Carl’s laughter ate away at my insides.

“Alright, Fugly. That’s enough fun for now. See that field over there?” He pointed to an area beyond the cow pasture. “I want all the rocks removed from the ground by the time Kenji gets home.”

“Ok.” That sounded like fun. “Where should I put them?”

“Eat them, of course.”

My eyes widened and my mouth slackened. My body could digest anything, excreting waste as sweat, thankfully a pleasant smell to most humans. But eating so many rocks would not be possible.

“Relax.” He smirked. “Just pile them up behind the barn.” Then, his expression deadened. “But if you’re not done in time, I really will make you eat them until you can’t stand. Understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now get to work.”

***

On hands and knees, I crawled over the expansive field. My fingers plowed the earth, digging up weeds and other vegetation that didn’t belong. Lacking a suitable container, I removed my top and piled the dirt onto it. Anything smaller than the holes in natural stitching sifted through, leaving rocks, small and large, behind. Luckily, my clothing had been designed with durability in mind.

I simply ate the plants. Where else would I put them? I dared not ask Carl; I’d already upset him too much for the day. Organic matter digested much faster than inorganic, so my stomach experienced no capacity problems. Furthermore, the meal would delay my need for Rouean, surely a benefit to Kenji’s finances.

As I made trips back to the barn, I glanced at Carl feeding the calves and milking the cows. I admired the way he worked. Smaller animals often feared me, limiting the tasks I could perform on a farm. 

During the afternoon, Carl rested under an oak tree, drinking from a silver flask. Humans needed a regular source of hydration, but the flask seemed so small. Perhaps it contained something other than water, something more concentrated and more rejuvenating.

He also watched me, probably making sure I didn’t screw up. An odd grin crossed his face each time I made a trip back. With eyes fixed to my torso, he likely watched the rocks I carried at my stomach, making sure I didn’t spill any. So thoughtful. His demonstration of teamwork made me want to smile.

We finished clearing the field just before Kenji’s truck pulled into the driveway. Last night, I’d lifted the rear of the truck and he’d replaced the tire. The repair was a success, allowing him to attend his university classes.

Bubbling with excitement, I proceeded to the driveway, scarcely restraining my stride. I stepped lightly around the house, its roof reaching just past my knee. Once clear, I balanced on the balls of my feet and lowered myself.

“Welcome home, Kenji!”

He stopped at the patio and chuckled. “Well, it’s good to be back. How was —” He blushed and looked away. “Where’s your clothing?”

“Oh, it’s behind the house. I had to use my top for —”

“I don’t care. Just please put your clothes back on before Lyric gets here.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry.”

He headed into the house and I went back to pick up my linens. I carried the fabric away from the barn and whipped it several times to remove the dust. I’d forgotten about human modesty! Hopefully he wasn’t too mad at me.

Kenji exited the back door and met with Carl. I wrapped my chest and joined the meeting, eager to show our accomplishment. Maybe he’d compliment me, like yesterday.

“What the hell are the rocks doing beside the barn?” Kenji walked toward the pile. “It’s a fucking mountain.”

Carl shrugged, following Kenji. “The Fyth said that’s where you wanted them.”

“Her name is Alani.” Kenji glared up at me. “And I never told you to pile the rocks beside the barn.”

“I…” Didn’t Carl tell me to put them there? That couldn’t be right, could it? My memory didn’t match the truth coming from Carl. Once again my forgetfulness caused trouble.

Kenji sighed, and touched a large rock at the bottom of the pile. Then, of all things, he started laughing. “It’s taller than the barn.”

I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t mad at me. Branford would have lashed me for such a mistake, but Kenji laughed. And it was a good laugh, a forgiving laugh, one that made me smile from ear to ear. I knelt to hear it better.

“You gonna let her get away with that?” Carl asked.

“Well, she certainly cleared the field,” Kenji said through chuckles.

“Carl helped me clear it,” I said, eager to share the praise with my co worker.

“Boss, you gotta discipline her.” Carl offered his whip.

Kenji’s laughter died. “Did you hit her with that?”

Carl hesitated. “Not yet, but —”

“Alani, did he whip you?”

I swallowed, unable to answer. Carl did hit me, but he denied it and the wound had healed hours ago, a side effect of drinking Rouean recently. Did I forget something? Surely I’d deserved the beating.

“Alani, answer me.”

“I’m sorry…” I blinked back the moisture in my eyes.

Kenji turned to Carl. “If you ever bring that whip here again, I’ll fire you; I don’t care how long you worked for my father. And if you hit her with it again, I’ll beat the living shit out of you.”

“Boss, she’s an animal.” Carl’s face was beet red. “You can’t let an animal, especially one that large, go undisciplined. If your father were here —”

“You have one minute to leave this property. Tomorrow, you’ll return without the whip and you’ll call her by her name, or don’t bother coming back at all. Got it?”

Carl started to speak but snapped his mouth shut and looked at me. A little smile alighted upon his face before he walked away. Had he forgiven me? Hopefully, he’d return tomorrow so I could apologize to him.

“Alani!” Lyric bolted out the back door. She discarded her flowery backpack on the rocking chair before running across the yard. Carl paused to look at her before he continued walking around the side of the house to his truck. He drove away as Lyric jumped into my outstretched hand and hugged my thumb.

Nothing could describe the feeling of holding someone so delicate and beautiful. The polar opposite of me in every way, she graced me with affection, her little arms wrapping around my digit in spite of my filth. By the time she released me, a vertical streak of dirt coated the front of her overalls.

“Lyric, you’re taking a bath before dinner tonight.” Kenji walked toward the front of the barn.

“Wow!” She ran to the rock pile. “Look Alani, it’s a mountain.” Her eyes lit up and I wished I could see through them. To me the thigh-high mound was nothing like a mountain, but humans saw things differently, and I wanted to share in her fascination.

However, when she started climbing, I realized my mistake. Children injured so easily, and her entrancement with this pile would lead to nothing good. I’d absolutely needed to move the stones before an accident occurred.

“Alani, come here.” Kenji called from the front of the barn. “I want to show you something.”

“Lyric, will you come with me?” I refused to leave her unattended.

“Wait, I’m almost —” Halfway up, she slipped and fell backwards into my hand. Her shocked expression quickly gave way to giggles, but her joy eluded me. If I hadn’t caught her…

“Alani!” Kenji called.

“Coming.” I carried Lyric to the front of the barn, still nervous from her tumble. Though she’d landed in my palm, I scanned her body, making sure she hadn’t been hurt. A fall, even from a low height, could result in all types of injuries for humans. I reeled at the possibilities.

On her knees, Lyric scooted to my fingers and peeked between them while I knelt to look inside the barn. Bags of seed and fertilizer lined one wall; hoes, rakes, scythes and other equipment adorned the opposite side. Except for an all-terrain vehicle, the center was clear.

“I put your food here, Alani.” He gestured to an area on the right where burlap covered a rectangular stack. “Only three meals remain, but eat when you get hungry. I can buy more.”

I swallowed the saliva that drenched my mouth, amazed that he trusted me with such information. Branford had never shown me where he kept the Rouean. I vowed to wait as long as possible between each meal. Kenji’s trust meant more than satiating my hunger and his sacrifice moved me — he’d sold his motorcycle to feed me.

Though I would drink Rouean every day if given the choice, my body could sustain itself for a week between meals. I wouldn’t succumb to gluttony, but the knowledge of the food’s availability filled me with relief beyond measure.

“Kenji, where would you like me to move the rocks?” I asked, Lyric’s near accident plaguing my mind.

He scratched his head. “Well, I was thinking the other side of the lake. We don’t use that area —”

“The lake!” Lyric jumped up and I formed a protective wall with my other hand. “Can we go swimming, Kenji? Please!”

“It’s a school night. You know —”

“Please! Just for a few minutes?”

Kenji shook his head and looked at his wristwatch. “Fine. No more than thirty minutes. Get your bathing suit on.”

“Yay!”

***

Lyric burst from the house in a maroon swimsuit with a white floral design. She must really like flowers. They didn’t taste any better than weeds, but they were far more colorful and smelled ‘better’. Humans, especially girls, liked colorful, nice-smelling things.

“Alright, lets go.” Kenji patted the passenger seat of an ATV with the word GATOR on the side.

She ignored him and ran to my ankle. “I’m riding on Alani.”

“Lyric, you don’t ride on her. She’s not an animal and she might not want to go to the lake.”

I winced at his tone of voice. Most humans did consider me an animal, and I didn’t mind. I certainly would never reprimand her for making such an assumption.

“Alani, will you go to the lake with me?” she pleaded.

“Sure...if Kenji doesn’t mind.”

“You don’t have to ask me. Go anytime you want. Lyric, you’ve got twenty-five minutes. See you two down there.” The engine of the GATOR revved and he took off.

“Quick, Alani!” She hopped into my hand. “We have to beat him there.”

“Why?”

“We just do. Please!”

“Ok.” I rose slowly, aware she’d never experienced a ride my full height before.

“Wow!” She looked through my fingers, and I cupped my other hand to her left. “Go! Hurry!”

I walked, taking slightly longer strides than usual, easily catching up to the GATOR. Kenji looked back, grinned and the little vehicle speed up, bumping along the terrain ahead.

“He’s racing us, Alani!” She gripped one of my fingers and tried to shake it. “Go faster.”

I smiled and easily outpaced the little machine, beating it to the lake by several seconds. She cheered as I lowered her to the ground, her enthusiasm at the trivial victory as baffling as it was contagious.

“We won, we won!” She ran up to parked ATV and planted her hands on the hood.

“Yeh, and you’ve got twenty minutes.” He reached into the box bed and retrieved a book, Molecular Biology Fifth Edition.

She waded into the water and clasped her hands around her torso, shivering. “Alani, you get in first.”

Although the lake was quite large, that didn’t mean it was deep. I stepped into the water slowly, but created rolling ripples nonetheless, inducing squeals of delight from Lyric. I continued onward until the water level reached my belly button.

My feet squished into the muddy lakebed and, as I submerged my body, the cool water soothed my slightly sunburnt skin. I scrubbed my hair underwater, luxuriating in the cold. My fingers combed through masses of tangles, freeing knotted clumps and dispersing weeks of dirt. I continued until my scalp tingled, a euphoric sensation, then rose for a breath.

“Whoa.” Lyric was in up to her stomach now, arms hovering over the water like an armchair. “Kenji look!”

My dangling hair, its greenish hue restored, obscured my view. I pulled it back, splashed water in my face, and rubbed.

“Wow.” He set his book aside. I glanced behind me, trying to find what caught his attention.

“Alani.” She wore a mesmerized smile. “You’re so pretty.”

I didn’t know how to respond. Though infrequent, I’d taken baths before. But never had I garnered such a reaction. Men had looked at me differently, but there had always been an underlying hint of disgust.

Did Kenji think the same thing as Lyric? Is that why he stared at me with his mouth hanging partway open? I blushed. I shouldn’t care about being pretty, but her comment and his attention made me feel better than consuming premium Rouean.

Once again, I failed to understand the reasons for my emotions, but it didn’t matter — I’d never been happier.

Maybe Kenji would join us in the water. That would be fun.

Although Kenji returned to his book, he cast periodic glances in our direction, keeping an eye on his sister and his slave. Lyric waded further out until the water reached her neck while I remained perfectly still, determined to avoid creating waves.

“Alani!” Her head bobbed and she spat water. “Carry me.”

“Say please, Lyric.” He turned a page in his book.

“Please,” she said without hesitation, but I’d already extended my arm, my hand just below the surface in front of her. She climbed onto my fingers, folded her legs, and bounced like an excited frog.

“This is fun!” She crawled into my palm, facing me. “Go, go, go.” 

Not hearing any protests from Kenji, I retracted my arm, keeping her body halfway submerged. He didn’t appear concerned about her distance from the shore, nor should he be. I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

Thankfully, he also neglected to insist she say please again, a word that only brought discomfort. I took pleasure in being commanded. If anything, I should be the one saying it. Please instruct me, please order me, please let me know how I can help.

She giggled as she glided through the murky water. “Faster!”

I moved my arm in lazy circles; fast for humans meant slow for me. Judging from the wake and her peals of laughter, I’d chosen the correct speed.

Surprisingly, she jumped off near my shoulder and dog paddled toward it. Before I could intercept, she clung to my floating hair, a nearly imperceptible tug. My palm emerged under her kicking feet and provided a stable platform, but she didn’t relinquish her grip. Instead, she wrapped herself in my locks, a curious behavior.

“You’re hair smells so good, Alani.” She jumped and dangled in the air for a few seconds before standing once more on my hand. “I want to smell like you. Can you take me to your shoulder?”

“Sure.” I docked my right hand against my left shoulder, just above the surface of the water. After she unwound herself, she boarded using my clavicle as a step. She climbed my hair but didn’t make it far before Kenji called her name.

“Times up!” He started the engine of the ATV. “You need to take a bath and eat.”

“Aww.” She grabbed my earlobe, a ticklish sensation. “You didn’t even get wet! Quick, Alani. Splash him before he gets away.”

I inhaled sharply. “Oh no. I can’t do that.” The thought of aggression, even playful in nature, repulsed me.

She whined, then dropped onto my shoulder. “Well, let’s beat him home at least.”

“Ok.” I nodded, eager to atone for my refusal of her prior request. “Hop on.”

She jumped into my palm, and I rose to my full height. He had a head start this time, but it wouldn’t matter. If a brisk walk would make her happy, so be it.

***

We won the race again, of course. Kenji had tried his best, and I’d been tempted to slow down, but Lyric’s passionate encouragement couldn’t be ignored. Nothing short of a direct command would have allowed him to win, and best of all, he chuckled and congratulated our victory in good spirits.

After they headed inside, I found an unoccupied area of the pasture and sat. The cows grazed, the pigs wallowed in their mud hole, and two horses rolled in the grass. They all kept their distance from me, but I didn’t mind; I contented myself with watching the house.

The sun would set soon and I’d watch that too, but they were inside the house, and I liked to imagine what they were doing. I’d never before preoccupied myself with the lives of owners, but then again, I’d never been owned by someone like Kenji.

I lifted my hair to my nose. She’d said it smelled good, but I couldn’t smell anything other than the dirt and the hay and the natural odors of the farm. Perhaps I should wash it every day after finishing work. It wouldn’t take long, and —

The screen door clapped shut as Lyric sprinted toward me. Still wearing her wet swimsuit, she carried a covered plate with both hands. Why wasn’t she taking a bath and eating? She could hurt herself running barefoot like that. He would be upset if he knew she was outside.

“Alani!” She boarded my hand and I lifted her to my face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as she tried to catch her breath.

“My birthday was last week. I turned eight. I want you to have the last piece of cake.” She opened the lid and revealed a triangular slice, brown with white icing. “It’s carrot cake. You’ll like it.”

“Lyric, I —”

“Kenji said it was ok. He said you don’t eat people food, but it doesn’t hurt you. Stick out your tongue.”

I stared at the tiny morsel. Though curious as to its taste, I couldn’t bear the thought of eating her last piece. What amounted to little more than a crumb to me would surely bring her more joy if she ate it herself.

“Please, Alani.” She sat down cross-legged with the plate in her lap. “I want you to have it, even though”—her eyes dropped—“you don’t want to be my friend.”

How could I respond? “I’ve never had a friend.”

She looked up and furrowed her brow. “You haven’t? Not ever?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean? You...just have to like me. Friends like each other, and they talk to each other. And sometimes they do things together and share and give. But you don’t have to give me anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I already like you.”

Her eyes widened. “Then, you’re my friend?”

“Yes.”

She smiled the widest smile, and it spread to my face like a sunrise. In spite of my apprehension, I’d definitely answered correctly. I just needed to learn more about friendship to avoid disappointing her.

What should I talk to her about? What should I share with her or give to her? Perhaps Kenji or Carl could elaborate with examples. If I spread my questions around, I’d be less of an annoyance.

“You’ll eat the cake?” she asked.

“Yes.” I stuck out my tongue as far as it would go.

With a giggle, she dumped the cake onto the tip. My tongue pulled back, my mouth closed, and — wow. I’d eaten sugarcane before, but this was a hundred times more concentrated. I savored the sweetness and swallowed.

“You didn’t even chew.” She laughed. “Did you like it?”

I nodded. “It didn’t taste like carrots.”

“It’s not supposed to, silly!”

She went into an explanation, describing the recipe and the baking process. I listened, but she knew so much about cooking, and I’d never seen an oven. I had nothing to say. If she hadn’t already, she’d soon discover my ignorance. She’d tire of explaining things, and get upset at my lack of participation in any conversation. And then, she wouldn’t like me anymore.

I wish I were smarter.

***

Crouched in front of the house, I waved as Lyric boarded her school bus. Children stared at me through the windows, fingers pointing and mouths slack. They’d probably never seen a Fyth before. From what I’d heard, very few of us lived on Osmichi. In spite of the planet’s agrarian culture, it’s lengthy distance from Serus Prime made Rouean expensive and Fyth slaves less desirable.

I waved to Kenji as he departed for college. Minutes later, I greeted Carl upon his arrival. Waking up early had so many benefits. I’d never allow myself to sleep so late again.

Without saying a word, Carl marched right past me, boots clomping through the dirt. Though likely still upset, he didn’t carry a whip and he hadn’t called me any names. But he also hadn’t given me any instructions. So I followed him, carefully, keeping a respectable distance. What else could I do?

He went about his morning routine, tending to the calves, the cows, and the chickens. I memorized his activities in case I ever needed to perform them, but most were beyond my capability. A cow would never let me touch her udder, and hen eggs were far too small for me to collect without breaking them.

“You just goin’ to foller me ‘round all day?” He spat a brown stream into the mud, then squinted up at me. “Ain’t you got work to do?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do.” He repeated my words with a higher pitch to his voice.

I tilted my head and frowned. How could he not know what to do? He used to work for Kenji’s father. “Did you forget?”

He gripped the uppermost rung of a wooden fence with both hands. “Do you even realize how stupid you are?”

I didn’t know the answer to his question. I was stupid, but perhaps I didn’t realize the full extent of my stupidity. While awaiting my response, his face reddened all the way to the top of his balding head.

“Feed and water the horses and pigs. Then water the field you plowed yesterday. It ain’t rocket science. Get it done this morning.”

“Where do I get the food and water?”

“Horses eat hay. Pigs eat corn. The lake has water.” He spoke very slowly though I couldn’t see why.

“Where —”

“Take me to the barn.” He glared at me and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his flannel shirt.

I lowered my hand inside the fence, causing cattle to retreat. After he stepped on, I delivered him to the barn and opened the door for him. Then, I pressed my ear against the ground so I could see inside as he walked to the back.

“If you can’t see the hay, you’re fuckin’ blind.” He walked past the bales and pointed to a large cylindrical container that doubled his height. “Use that for the water. It’s empty.” He grabbed a gray sack and tugged it partway across the floor. “Pig feed. I ain’t carryin’ it.”

“Thank you, Carl.”

He walked toward me and paused at the rectangular burlap stack. After uncovering it, he said, “Ain’t never seen this.”

“That’s my food.”

“Oh yeh?” He scratched his beard. “Expensive, ain’t it?”

“I think so.”

“Kenji trusts you not to eat it all like a pig?”

“I would never do that.” I wished he’d replace the cover. Looking at the food tempted me, and I didn’t want to be tempted.

“Sure. Whatever. Now get to work.”

“Yes, sir.”

***

Aside from the difficulty I’d experienced reaching into the barn, providing the animals with food and water had been easy. A bale of hay and a hundred pound bag of dry corn weighed nothing. Even the thousand gallon storage tank filled with water wasn’t heavy, not in the least.

My strength was one of my greatest assets, yet I rarely used more than a fraction of it. Humans employed machines to lift bulky objects, and machines didn’t require expensive food like me. Nevertheless, I still took pleasure in any opportunity to be helpful.

Watering the field had been a strenuous activity, the storage tank woefully inadequate for the job. After making several trips to the lake and back, I’d worn a path through the pasture, and by the time noon arrived, sweat dripped from every pore. Ironically, the exertion energized me, because it demonstrated my value.

“Yer done!” Carl sat under his favorite oak tree, munching on a sandwich.

I approached him, confused as usual. “I only watered half —”

“If you drip sweat on me, I’ll —” He clamped his mouth shut and glared before speaking again. “Yer done. I gave you the morning, and the morning’s over.”

“But why?” I knelt to see him better, ensuring my sweat wouldn’t drip on him. “I can work through the afternoon.”

“Because I gotta spray ammonia, and you gotta move those rocks.”

“Oh. I forgot about the rocks.”

“Sure ya did.” He took a swig from his flask.

He was being so agreeable. Maybe… “Carl, will you be my friend?”

His face contorted, but he spoke after a pause. “Sure.” He mumbled something about pigs flying and a bells freezing over, but I focused on the important part, the part I understood: his acceptance of our friendship.

“Thank you, Carl! I promise I’ll be a good friend.” I wanted to pick him up, but my hands were sweaty and dirty. “I’m Lyric’s friend too. She said friends should talk and share and give. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I ain’t talkin’ to an idiot like you. Now get back to work.”

“Ok.” Maybe some friends didn’t talk as much, especially with someone as stupid as me. “Is there anything I can give you?”

“I said get back —” He paused, looking me in the eye. “What you got that I’d want?”

Exactly the question I was hoping he’d answer for me. I had nothing to give anyone. “What do you want? Maybe I could get it.”

His eyes darted away, then back to me. “You got money?”

“No.” I’d never been paid with money. Humans loved it, but I’d rather have food.

“What about yer food?” he asked, as if reading my mind. Maybe we had more in common than I realized.

“You like to drink Rouean?”

“Fuck no. But I could sell it. How about you load my truck with a container?”

“I don’t know. It’s not mine. Kenji said I should only drink it when I get hungry.”

“That means it’s yers, sweet cheeks.”

I didn’t understand ‘sweet cheeks’, but it sounded better than Fugly. “What if he asks me about it?”

“Tell him you got hungry.”

“I can’t lie.”

“Fine. I’ll replace it with a container of green water. He ain’t ever gonna know.”

“But —”

“I ain’t got all day. Yer the one who wanted to give me somethin’. If you changed yer mind —”

“No! I’ll do it.” I smiled. I’d made the right decision. I’d made a new friend. And best of all, it felt good, especially since Carl had already given me so much.

Somehow, I’d find a way to survive without eating for an extra week. Somehow, I’d make it work. Because friendship required giving, and giving sometimes required sacrifices. He sacrificed his time to train and supervise me. This was the least I could do in return.

It was what any friend would do.

***

After Carl fertilized the field, I loaded one of the Rouean containers onto the bed of his gray pickup. He probably needed the money to make repairs; the truck appeared older than the one Kenji drove.

He departed and I continued moving the rocks to the other side of the lake, a muddy area without many trees. I worked quickly, taking advantage of my time alone by using my top as a sack. By the time Carl returned, I’d finished the task and had wrapped my chest once more.

He drove to the barn and skidded to a halt. “Alright. Unload it. Be quick about it.”

I frowned. The green liquid didn’t have the same metallic hue as Rouean. Still, if Kenji asked, I’d tell him the truth and accept the consequences.

I lifted the container. At least it weighed about the same.

“Alright sweet cheeks, I’m off. See ya bright and early tomorrow. Oh and, thanks for the gift.”

“You’re welcome, Carl. I’m glad —”

His rear tires spun, shooting rocks into my knees as he drove off.

“— we’re friends.”

He probably didn’t hear the last part, but we were friends nonetheless.

***

“He’s already gone?” Kenji walked toward me, rubbing his shoulder and stretching his neck. He wore a white t-shirt, sleeves short enough to reveal more of his tattoos. Decorating his right arm, a black-green lizard spat dark orange fire. Its tail spiraled upward, hidden by his sleeve, the spade-like tip barely visible at the base of his neck.

Would he ever remove his shirt? Perhaps if he went swimming. Then, I could examine —

“Alani?” He placed a hand on my shin, and my shoulders jerked slightly.

“Yes, sir?” I was sitting cross-legged as I’d seen Lyric do.

“Carl’s gone?” He removed his hand and my mind cleared a little.

“Yes, s — Kenji. He left a few minutes ago.”

“Probably trying to avoid me. Did he bring the whip today?”

“No.” I shook my head, emphasizing the good news.

“What about your name? Did he call you by your name?”

I considered the question. “No, but he didn’t call me Fugly anymore.”

Kenji’s eyes narrowed. “He called you that?”

“Not anymore. Not since you spoke with him.”

“Yeh, I’m going to have another talk with him tomorrow.”

“Kenji, please don’t be mad at him. He’s really trying. He’s teaching me so much about the farm. I don’t want to get him in trouble.”

“Alani, it’s his job to train you. But if he can’t show you respect, I’m going to fire him.”

“Oh no. Please don’t do that. We’re friends now, and I’m sure he’ll call me by my name soon.”

He stood there, blinked a few times, then sighed. “Ok. I think you’re being too nice, but y’all did get a lot of work done today. The field looks great, and you even moved the rock pile. Thanks.” He patted my leg and I smiled.

Then, he turned and walked back toward the house. “And by the way,” he said over his shoulder. “You’re not ugly. You’re pretty. And your smile is amazing.”

***

“Alani!” Lyric’s purple backpack swung from side to side as she ran across the grass. She hopped onto my hand and, and when I brought her to my face, she hugged my thumb. I caressed her head with the forefinger of my other hand, wishing for a way to return her affection.

“Kenji said I could do my homework outside until dinner. Isn’t that great?”

I nodded, excited to spend time with her. She plopped down on my palm and unzipped her backpack. Then, she removed a book with a girl, a pig, and a duck on the front. There was another animal, and they all looked at a black dot hanging from a thread.

“This book is called Charlotte’s Web. I have to read a chapter a day. But we can take turns reading. I’ll read the first page and you read the second and so on. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“Lyric...I don’t know —”

“Please, Alani. It’s a good book. I promise. Listen, I’ll start. Where’s Papa going with that ax?” She continued reading the first page, while I zoomed in on the text and tried to follow along. Branford’s wife had taught me the alphabet and the sounds of letters, but nothing as advanced as reading entire words. She’d given up, complaining I was too slow.

On the other hand, Lyric read the words without the slightest hesitation. She’d expect me to do the same. I couldn’t pay attention to the story because my heart pounded in my chest. When she turned the page, my stomach churned.

“Are you ok, Alani? You’re shaking.” She pressed her hand down into my palm and I steadied myself. If I couldn’t control my nerves, I’d have to set her on the ground.

“I’m ok.” A picture of a farmer with an ax appeared at the top of the page. A little girl grabbed the ax with both hands. Luckily, the picture, occupying three-fourths of the page, reduced the number of words I’d have to read.

Lyric pointed to the first sentence. “Start reading here.”

I swallowed. The letters were P L E A S E. “P—Pla—Plee.”

She looked at me, her head cocked to the side. “Please.”

I nodded. “Please d — don —”

“Alani? You don’t know how to read, do you?” she asked, clearly disappointed.

I shook my head.

“Kenji said you’re nineteen. Shouldn’t you know how to read?”

“I’m sorry, Lyric. I’m not smart.” I looked away. She wouldn’t want to talk to me now that she knew I was stupid.

“That’s ok.” Her voice sounded encouraging, almost cheerful. “This boy at school calls me dumb. And he’s not the only one.”

“But you know how to read.”

She giggled. “That’s because I go to school. You’ve never been to school, have you?”

I lifted my eyes to her, dumbfounded by her positive reaction. “No.”

“Well I wouldn’t know how to read either if I’d never been to school.”

“You wouldn’t?”

She laughed. “Alani, you’re funny. I’m glad you’re my friend now. If you want, I can teach you how to read. I still have my early reading books.”

“But what if I can’t learn. Will you be angry?”

She rolled onto her side, laughing. “Of course not! I’ll just read to you. Either way, we’ll have fun. I bet you can learn though.”

“Are you sure Kenji won’t mind?”

She sat up. “He said I can play with you as long as I get my homework done. And over the weekends, we’ll have all day. I can’t wait!” She paused and furrowed her brow. “Alani, your eyes are wet.”

“You’re so nice to me.” Her kindness was vastly different than Carl’s. It spun my emotions out of control.

Her little grin returned, and she hugged my thumb again. “You’re my friend, Alani.”

And that was all she needed to say. She wanted to help because of our friendship. Because she liked me.

Like water to a fish, I’d existed in a bubble of solitude for as long as I could remember. But that changed.

The bubble popped, the tears flowed, and my smile had no bounds.

I set the razor beside my toothbrush, then rinsed my face in the sink. The cold water extinguished the embers of drowsiness, procuring a few more minutes of wakefulness. I needed sleep; I had a calculus test tomorrow. But, I needed time too.

I exhaled and stared at my face in the mirror. Other than being clean shaven, I resembled a drug dealer more than a college student. Unkempt hair hung over my ears and partway down the back of my neck, but it didn’t cover the tail end of my serpent tattoo. Red veins infiltrated the whites of my eyes, likely drawing attention away from my ‘beautiful’ brown irises. At least that’s how Tegan had described them...back when we’d dated.

That was over a year ago. We were both twenty years old. And my dad was still alive.

I swiped shaving cream from an earlobe, wiped my face with a towel, and walked into the hallway. After stopping at Lyric’s door, I listened.

Asleep.

Satisfied, I continued down the hallway, then descended the stairs, avoiding the one that creaked. I opened the front door with exaggerated slowness, determined to avoid waking her. She wasn’t a light sleeper, but she wouldn’t approve of my habit if she discovered it.

A motion-sensing light illuminated the gravelly path to my truck. Not that I needed it. I snuck out so often, I could do it blindfolded.

I lowered the tailgate, then pulled a few items from my jeans pockets: a glass pipe, a small plastic bag, and a lighter. After sitting, I filled the pipe with green bud, lit, and inhaled. The smoke filled my chest, and I held it there long enough for my lungs to absorb the THC.

Long enough for the weight on my shoulders to shift from an imaginary figment into a real entity.

People used that expression all the time: a weight on my shoulders. But for me, it became a ‘thing’, an inescapable burden, the day my father died. With marijuana, I sensed it, a cloud of liquid iron draped across my neck and back like a carriage harness. However, instead of a horse, I pulled the carriage, longing for relief and fearing the day when I’d collapse in exhaustion.

Lyric needed someone stronger than me. She needed —

I dropped my pipe at the sound of rocks grinding.

“What the fuck.” I jumped off the truck and stumbled before catching sight of a gigantic silhouette. “Alani.” I exhaled, coughing a bit. “Scared the shit out of me.”

She crouched, a veritable mountain in the moonlight. “I’m sorry, Kenji.”

“What are you doing here?” I picked up the pipe. It hadn’t broken, but the contents had spilled onto the ground. At least I’d gotten one hit out of it.

“I saw the light turn on. I…I’ll leave.” Even though she spoke in a near whisper, her apologetic tone was apparent. I’d never met another person so overwhelmingly self-deprecating, not even another Fyth.

“No. It’s alright. Have a seat. I’ve been wanting to talk to you anyway.” I returned to my perch on the tailgate. The truck vibrated, though only faintly. She handled her immense weight with incredible skill. “So how —”

Her thigh blocked the entire right side of my field of vision. “Um, this isn’t going to work. I’m talking to your leg.”

“Would you like me to pick you up?”

“Sure.”

She lowered her hand. I stepped onto the massive pad of flesh, then reclined against her fingers. She lifted me to her face, pale in the alabaster light even though she had a tan. She must’ve visited the lake today; no mud caked her features. Other than her light green hair and purple eyes, she looked like a cute human teenager. In an urban township, where college girls colored their hair as a means of self-expression, she’d fit in perfectly.

Except for her size, of course.

The combination of the marijuana and the warmth of her hand struck me like a dose of knockout gas. Something about her earthy smell calmed me, further lulling me to sleep. “Actually, just set me on the roof.”

“I don’t know if that’s —”

“Alani, I’m not going to fall. Besides, even if I did, you’d catch me.”

She hesitated, then nodded and rose. A downdraft of cool air swept my hair and my stomach lurched. Even though she likely considered her own movement to be slow, I ascended faster than a high speed elevator.

Stooping, she positioned her hand by the peak of the roof. Thankful for the gradual slope, I stepped onto it and sat, feet aiming down toward the front of the house.

I wouldn’t fall, but I’d meant what I’d said. To my knowledge, a Fyth had never harmed a human, intentional or otherwise. They had an uncanny ability to detect the presence of human life, and their bodies instinctively sought to protect humanity above all else. It was part of the reason I was so comfortable allowing Lyric to play with Alani.

When she sat this time, she pulled her legs inward, her mouth just above my head. Not ideal, but at least I wouldn’t be talking to her leg. 

“So Alani.” I didn’t speak loud. She could hear and see much better than me, or any other human. “How have your first two days been?”

***

“Wonderful.”

I couldn’t believe it. Kenji wanted to talk to me, alone, at night. I shouldn’t have snuck up on him, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting with him right now.

Still, I wished he’d let me hold him. Many humans preferred face to face communication, the palm of a Fyth being the most convenient mechanism to allow it. On the roof, he could fall. To reduce the risk, my legs brushed the house, knees slightly under the roof. If he fell off the side, he’d land on me, and if he tumbled down the front, I’d catch him.

“Really?” he asked. “What do you like about working here?”

“I like you and Lyric and Carl. And I like the work.” I spoke as softly as possible. Lyric slept and Kenji wasn’t far from my mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t see how you like Carl. That man’s an asshole.”

“I don’t know. I just do.” I smiled remembering how Carl called me sweet cheeks.

“You’re too nice. All Fyth are obedient, but you...you’re —” He turned from his stargazing to look at me, but didn’t finish his sentence.

“Kenji?”

“Thank you for spending time with Lyric.” He looked down at his pipe. “Don’t tell her you saw me smoking, ok?”

“I won’t. And I like spending time with her. She’s my best friend, even more than Carl. I love her.” Warm butterflies danced in my stomach. I couldn’t wait for the weekend to arrive. “She’s teaching me how to read.”

“That’s good.” He leaned back on his elbows, and his gazes shifted upward. “That’s really good.” His voice sounded distant.

“Kenji, is something wrong?”

He sighed. “She’s had a tough life, that kid. Our mother died giving birth to her, and our father died of a heart attack last year. What she needs is a parent, and all she has is me. I’m not even a good brother, much less a parent. I’m just glad she’s got you now as a friend.”

“Why aren’t you a good brother?” I believed humans, but sometimes their words reflected the opposite of reality. He might as well have said the moon wasn’t in the sky.

“I’m nothing like my dad. He was a rock. He never complained and fixed problems before we even knew they existed. I can barely keep the farm from going bankrupt, and I have no idea how to raise a child, much less a girl. She’s my sister, but she’s going to hate me when she gets older and sees how useless I am.”

I couldn’t help but smile. So much of what he said mirrored my own feelings. “Kenji, I think you’re doing a great job. I feel useless every day, but when you praise me after work, it lifts something inside me and I want to roll in the grass like the horses.”

He chuckled. “You’re more humble than the average Fyth, though why, I have no idea. You can do the work of dozens of men. You never complain. You ask for nothing in return but food. And you’re the most cheerful, friendly, self-sacrificing person I know. That’s not praise; that’s just who you are.”

Thankfully humans couldn’t see well in the dark, because my face was as hot as the sun. “Kenji, you make me so happy.” I leaned over and kissed him on the shoulder, just a quick peck before I realized my mistake. “I — I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Where did you learn to do that?” He looked at me, smiling.

Maybe he wasn’t mad at me. “I’ve seen humans kiss, but I’ve always wondered why.”

“Really? Well, now do you know why?”

The kiss was unlike holding him in my hand. Somehow, I felt more vulnerable, but I couldn’t explain it. “No. Will you tell me?”

He laughed. “Maybe another night. It’s late and I need to get some sleep.”

“Ok.” I allowed him to board my hand and set him at my feet. Before he disembarked, he leaned over and kissed the tip of my forefinger. It was as if I’d touched live current, and it required every ounce of my willpower to resist the shock that threatened to jerk my hand.

“Goodnight, Alani.” He stepped off and waved without turning around. “Thanks for indulging my pity party tonight. You’ve inspired me, and I appreciate it.”

After he shut the front door, I sat there, unmoving, for quite a while. I longed for him to come back out. But why? I wanted to see Lyric too, but with Kenji, the feeling was different.

It was as if some part of myself had walked away, and I needed to be as close to him as possible. I liked the new feeling, except for the conflicting sense of...incompleteness.

Did the kiss cause it? I didn’t know, but I knew one thing for sure.

From this day forward, I’d clean my hands every day after work.

***

Time passed quickly. Carl and I worked the farm, usually without speaking. Lyric played with me afterwards and started teaching me how to read. Kenji didn’t come out much, but that didn't stop me from thinking about him.

He did participate in a couple of the games Lyric and I played. Even though hide and seek wasn’t my favorite, when he found me hiding in a copse of white oaks, I’d never been happier to lose. Hearing his laughter as he touched my ankle made me forget my annoyance at the small size of the trees.

Monday beckoned the return of the weekday routine, a routine that I’d come to enjoy.

On Tuesday I experienced hunger, but it wasn’t until Wednesday that my stomach first rumbled. I’d just finished carrying bags of feed from Carl’s truck to the barn. The growl was so loud, he heard it while sitting inside his vehicle.

He rolled down the window. “You best get somethin’ to eat, sweet cheeks. I recommend you make do with the fake stuff. Wouldn’t want Kenji to get suspicious, now would we?”

“Ok.” I reached inside the barn and withdrew the container of fake Rouean. “What’s in it?”

“Water and food coloring. It ain’t gonna hurt ya. Dump it on the ground fer all I care, and go eat some trees or somethin’.”

I opened the top and drank the liquid, hoping that it would provide at least some sustenance. Unfortunately, it tasted like stale water and did nothing to satiate my hunger.

“Alright, I’m outta here.” He slapped the door of his truck and peeled out, spraying tiny rocks at my leg. I’d have to ask him to accelerate more slowly, especially since injuries exacerbated my hunger. When famished, I stopped healing altogether, and I was approaching that point.

I headed to the lake, intent on washing myself before Kenji returned. On the way, I stopped at a dead oak tree, roughly half my height. He wouldn’t mind if I ate a dead tree, would he? Probably not.

Within a few minutes, I’d uprooted the tree and devoured the entire thing. The hollow oak presented little resistance to my teeth — branches, bark, and cambium masticated and consumed without pause.

A Fyth could eat its on body weight in vegetation every two hours, a frightening sight to humans. If not for Rouean, my species would eat non stop, consuming all plant life before it could regrow. Discovery of this fact had occurred on the first planet Fyth had been allowed to inhabit. A barren wasteland now, the planet served as a graveyard to the Fyth that died of starvation.

And it served as a warning to Fyth who elected not to seek Rouean.

With the growling in my stomach quelled, I washed off in the lake and returned to my spot in the pasture. I always sat in the same place behind the house, ensuring that I killed as little grass as possible.

Kenji would arrive soon. He’d been busy lately, but maybe he’d greet me today.

Then, Lyric would show up. She’d definitely play with me. We needed to read chapter seven of Charlotte’s Web.

I could hardly wait for them to arrive. But I also worried. Because even though my stomach wasn’t rumbling at the moment, my hunger pangs weren’t diminishing. Once, they’d intensified to the point where I’d cried until Branford fed me.

I didn’t want to cry in front of Lyric or Kenji because of this. I needed to be strong.

But I was so hungry.

The next morning, before Carl arrived, I drank water from the lake and ate more dead trees. Though lacking the nourishment of living plant matter, the sustenance took the edge off the pain in my stomach.

“Where ya been?” he asked as I arrived at the barn.

“Good morning, Carl.” The sight of my friend curbed my uncharacteristic fatigue, and I smiled. “I was eating by the lake and —”

“Don’t care.” He untied the ropes, removing them from the bales of hay in his truck bed. “Ya had all last night to stuff yer face. Want me to tell Kenji you’re showin’ up late fer work?”

“I — I don’t know. I’m sorry.” I would’ve made it on time but I’d walked slower, less energetic than my usual self. Certainly not an excuse for my tardiness.

“Don’t let it happen again.”

“Oh, I won’t.” I knelt, placing a hand on the ground to stabilize myself. “Carl, thank you for being my friend, even though you’re so much smarter than me. You’re always on time and you put up with my mistakes. I’m going to ask Kenji to give you a raise.”

Jaw slack, he stopped chewing his tobacco and stared for a few seconds. Then, he averted his eyes and headed to the chicken coop beside the barn. “Get to work.”

“Yes, sir!”

I grabbed a bale of hay and planted the side of my face on the ground. One at a time, I moved the rectangular bundles into the barn, sliding them against the wall. Upon finishing, I lifted my head, prepared to move on to the next —

The ground spun in circles and my arm buckled.

I dropped forward and crashed into the barn. The structure pushed backwards diagonally. It’s sides splintered and separated from the roof, a loud cracking sound. My head landed on the top of the ATV, crushing it, and the walls of the barn collapsed outward in a plume of dust.

As soon as the wave of dizziness passed, I pushed myself into a sitting position and looked around. Frantic and frightened, I called out, “Carl!”

I didn’t see him anywhere. He’d gone to collect the eggs from the coops that lined the barn, but —

Carefully but quickly, I lifted the broken portions of the barn wall, stacking them in the grass to my left. My friend lay under a demolished chicken coop, his right leg bent at an unnatural angle.

“Carl!” Gently, I removed the debris, lifted him by the torso, and laid him on my hand. He didn’t respond, even after I poked him lightly in the stomach. Red scratches on his arms and face concerned me, but not as much as his leg. The human knee wasn’t meant to twist in such a way.

Suddenly brimming with energy, I rose and scanned the horizon. Humans went to hospitals when injured. Though I didn’t know where to find one, I knew the location of the auction house where I’d been sold. There had to be one nearby.

With his body limp in my hand, I walked quickly toward the intersection and turned. Beside the highway, I broke into a run heading west. Then, I sprinted, mindful to bring my feet down with as little impact as possible.

I passed cars and trucks as if they were standing still, ignoring the abrasions on my feet and the hollowness in my stomach. A green sign read: Welcome to Ceaseton; Population 1,400. As the town loomed closer, only one thought occupied my mind: My friend had been hurt, badly.

And if he didn’t receive medical attention soon, he might die.

***

Ceaseton hadn’t been constructed with my kind in mind. Narrow, two-lane roads barely permitted cars to pass in opposite directions, much less a fully grown Fyth. Thankfully, very few people shared the road with me. Of those that did, many stopped upon noticing me. They gawked and talked into their cellular phones.

Turned at an angle, I sidestepped over vehicles and squeezed between buildings, the tallest of which reached to my stomach. The edge of my left foot clipped a streetlight, bending it until it snapped from the ground. I didn’t mean to cause damage, but there was no room to move.

From behind, a police car approached, lights flashing and siren blaring. It swerved around my feet and stopped in front of me. A man in a blue uniform hopped out and spoke into a megaphone. “Fyth, I command you to stop. You’re not allowed in this town.”

“I need to find a hospital. Carl’s hurt.” I bent my knees and stooped, lowering my right hand to the ground.

The officer peeked over the edge of my fingers, then returned to his car. He picked up a police radio and said something inaudible.

After a few seconds another siren pierced the air. To my left, an ambulance flew down the intersecting street. Cars pulled over to allow it passage.

Upon reaching me, two males in white uniform hopped out and ran to my hand with a stretcher. With extreme care, I helped them maneuver Carl into position. “Please, watch his leg. I think it’s broken.”

They nodded, carried my friend into the back of the ambulance, and drove down the same street in the opposite direction.

“Can I follow them?” I asked.

“Absolutely not. Who’s your owner?” He didn’t need to keep using the megaphone. I could hear him just fine without it.

“Kenji Myers.”

He pulled out a pen and wrote something on his notepad. Then, he held out a slip of paper. “This is a warning.”

I pinched the paper between two fingers and took it from him.

“He won’t be charged with reckless endangerment only because you were right to bring that man to a hospital. However, the city will fine him for any damages you’ve caused. Now, return to your owner’s home and watch where you step.”

“Yes, officer.”

Ticket clasped between my fingers, I stood and headed down the street to my right, the most deserted path in the vicinity. Once outside the town limits, I found the familiar highway and walked back to Kenji’s house.

Though relieved I hadn’t caused any further damages, my thoughts returned to Carl. I’d injured him, perhaps fatally. I’d never heard of any Fyth harming a human, much less killing one. How could I be so negligent?

I hurt my friend. He might die because of me.

The thought repeated itself, as if a pipe had burst in my brain, leaking infected residue down my spine — each drip filling a rancid vat of worthlessness and self-hatred in my stomach.

I walked into the pasture. The crushed ATV rested in the center of the collapsed barn, both symbols of my incompetence. In the short time of my employment, I’d cost Kenji far more than the value of my services. He gave me food and kindness; I gave him death and destruction. Branford had been right to get rid of me.

Luckily, the two remaining Rouean containers hadn’t been damaged. Perhaps he could sell those to recoup some of his money.

Because I would never open them.

I walked until I reached the lake, but I didn’t stop there. I continued past the lake until the trees blurred with the ground and the world spun. 

I lay on my side, unable to recall falling to the ground. The sun warmed my face and dry leaves brushed my nose and lips.

The area I’d unintentionally selected would work fine. A Fyth’s body decomposed quickly after death, feeding any plants in the area with a rich set of nutrients. At least some living thing would benefit from my presence.

It wouldn’t be long now.

***

“Alani.” My father called my name.

Except it wasn’t my father — no Fyth had parents.

Fertilized in petri dishes and grown in enormous hyperbaric chambers, Fyth progressed from embryo to adulthood in isolation. Eating, sleeping, and growing, we didn’t interact with humans or other Fyth until ten years of age, the point at which we reached our full size and our bodies could handle normal atmospheric conditions.

“Alani!”

I opened my eyes as Kenji placed a hand on the bridge of my nose. How long had I been asleep? The sun had moved to the other side of the sky and the air was warmer.

“I’ve been looking all over for you. What’s going on?”

“Ken —” My voice cracked.

His eyes narrowed. “You look terrible. Come back and eat something. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

I tried to swallow, but my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. So dry. After a few more attempts, I managed to wet my throat slightly. “Carl...he’s hurt...I —”

“I know about that. I’ve already been by the hospital. He had a mild concussion and his leg’s broken, but other than that, he’s ok. He said you crashed into the barn and a wall landed on him.”

“I’m so sorry, Kenji. It was all my fault.” My eyes produced no tears, but my heart weeped.

“It’s fine. We all have accidents. Now come on. Let’s go home.” He turned toward his truck.

“No.”

He spun around, brow furrowed. “What do you mean, no? Alani you need to eat. Carl thinks that’s why you fell. In fact, he urged me not to sell you because of this accident. I would never do that, of course, but I found it very strange to hear it coming from him of all people. Who knows, maybe you drank a bad batch of Rouean. You are hungry, right?”

“Yes, but I hurt Carl. I could have killed him. I’m a danger to you and Lyric.”

“Bullshit. You’re not a danger to anyone. You fell because you got dizzy from eating bad Rouean. It was an accident. Besides, what exactly are you saying? You’re going to just lie out here and die?”

“I’m too much of an expense. Your barn and ATV are destroyed. The city is sending you a bill for damages I caused. You can’t afford —”

“You’re not an animal, Alani. You’re a person, like me. I consider you family. Who cares if you broke a few things?

“We need your help to rebuild the barn and run the farm. We need you to carry us around the property. Riding in your hand is more fun than an ATV anyway. My point is: We need you. Now please, come home.”

His words, as beautiful as they were, failed to shake my death sentence. “I’m sorry, Kenji.”

“No, this is not a discussion. Come home and eat. That’s a command.”

“No.”

“Stop saying no!” He walked near my chin, where my hand lay curled, and grabbed the tip of my pinkie. “Stand up. Now!”

I kept my mouth shut, unwilling to anger him further by saying ‘no’, but also unwilling to comply. Even if my legs would hold my weight, he was wrong. I was a danger to humans and needed to put an end to myself.

“Alani, move!” He tugged on my pinkie with both hands, unfurling it slightly.

“Fuck!” He released my finger and stomped to his truck. “There’s no way I’m letting you kill yourself. I’ll bring the Rouean and force feed it to you if I have to.”

He hopped in his truck and sped off toward the lake and beyond. I closed my eyes, hoping that death took me before he returned.

Some humans didn’t like to watch things die, even an animal like me.

***

A tickling on my mouth and the smell of fruity shampoo.

“Alani, wake up.” Lyric pressed on my lips with her hands and smiled when my eyes fluttered open.

Kenji sat in his pickup, doors closed, boring holes into my head with his eyes. In the truck bed, a container of Rouean gleamed in the waning sunlight.

She stepped in front of my face. “Kenji said you won’t eat. Is it because you don’t like the taste? Sometimes I don’t eat my vegetables because they taste bad. Especially peas. I hate peas. Why are your eyes gray? Are you sick, Alani?”

“H —” I swallowed. My parched throat burned and my saliva tasted like acid. “Hi, Lyric.”

“What’s wrong, Alani?” Concern etched her face as she frowned and furrowed her eyebrows.

Why did he bring her here? Something about her presence twisted my stomach into knots.

“How was school?”

Her face brightened, and she sat down cross-legged in the grass. “It was great! We had a quiz on the first seven chapters of Charlotte’s Web, and I got all the questions right! Mrs. Phillips said I was the only one to get a perfect score. It’s because we read together, Alani. I know it. Are you going to read the next chapter with me today?”

The stinging in my throat switched to a heavy, uncomfortable sensation. “I can’t today Lyric. I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” Her little frown returned. “We read every afternoon.”

“I can’t see very well right now.” Her features sporadically blurred in front of my eyes. I wouldn’t be able to zoom into the words in a book even if I wanted to.

“Are you sick? If you don’t eat, you’ll get sick. That’s what my dad always used to tell me.”

I didn’t know what to say. Kenji shouldn’t have brought her. She wouldn’t understand.

“You look really pale.” Then, her eyes widened and she smiled. “I know! If you eat something, I’ll bake you a whole cake. That will make the bad taste go away. Ok?”

“I can’t eat.”

“Why not?”

“I hurt someone today, Lyric. I destroyed the barn. I might hurt you or Kenji. I’m dangerous to be around.”

“No you’re not! You’re just being silly. I feel very safe around you.” She got up, walked over to my hand, and sat in it, my fingers curling just over her head. “See?”

Her hands connected with my palm. “Alani, your skin is so cold.” She frowned as my stomach rumbled. “Please eat. I’m sure you’ll feel better if you do.”

“I’m sorry, Lyric.”

Her frown deepened. “I don’t understand. If you don’t eat, you’ll eventually die. Did you know that you can die of starvation? I’ve read about it.”

“I know.”

“But I don’t want you to die, Alani.”

I had an idea. “Lyric, when a Fyth dies, their body fertilizes the ground. I think a big tree will grow here after I’m gone. It will be beautiful. You can play on it and —”

“No!” She pounded her fist into my palm. “I don’t want a tree; I want you! Eat!”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.

“Why won’t you eat, Alani? My mom and dad left me. They died and left me and my brother alone. Are you going to leave me too?” She sniffled. “You’re my friend. Friends aren’t supposed to leave each other.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Rivulets of tears streamed down her face and her bottom lip quivered. She averted her eyes to the ground. Eventually, she spoke slowly. “Alani, what happens when people die? Where do they go?”

I considered her question, then answered. “I don’t know, Lyric.”

She wiped a cheek with her fingers. “Don’t tell Kenji, but I’m going to follow you. Wherever you go, I’m going to follow you. You won’t be alone.”

“Lyric, you can’t do that.”

“I am.” She stood and grabbed my thumb, resolute, as if gripping a boat’s tiller and sailing into uncharted waters. “I’m your friend. I’m not letting you go alone. I’m not sure how I’ll find you, but I will. I’ll find my father and mother too, and you can meet them.”

The look of determination in her brave eyes frightened me. “Please, don’t do that. You’re too young —”

She walked to my nose and hugged it, arms wrapping around it and head resting on the tip. “We’ll go together, Alani.” Her wet cheek plastered against my skin.

“No.” In spite of my dehydration, tears appeared in my eyes, blurring my surroundings even more.

She lay down in the grass and rolled her back against my cheek. “We’ll go together, Alani.”

My tears moistened the ground above her head. How could humans love an animal like me so much? Even after I hurt Carl, they stuck with me, and this small girl planned to follow me into the afterlife.

Me. A worthless animal. A living thing that didn’t deserve the simple warmth of her small body against my cheek.

“I love you, Alani,” she murmured, perhaps not intending for me to hear. The words themselves didn’t impact me as much as the way she said them.

Though different than Kenji’s tone, they both loved me. Somehow, impossibly, they did. Even Carl asked Kenji not to sell me. They all had different ways of showing it, but they wanted me in their lives.

She rolled over and kissed my cheek, then snuggled and closed her eyes. She really did intend to die with me. Kenji would never allow it, but she might find a way to kill herself. It was too much for me to bear.

By killing myself, I’d be destroying the lives of my friends. I’d be doing the very thing I wanted to avoid at all costs.

Summoning all my strength, I lifted my head and sat upright. The ground whirled, then stabilized on the little girl near the indentation my face had made in the ground.

She rose to her elbow and squinted up at me. “Alani?” 

Delicately, I lifted her into my palm, brought her to my face and kissed her on the side. My lips covered her small upper body, and she giggled in a way that made me smile through my tears.

I focused on the truck. He was smiling too. I made my family happy just by existing. They were my family and they loved me. It made no sense; humans rarely made sense, but it was the truth.

The miraculous truth.

With my free hand, I reached for the Rouean.

I reached for life, a life we’d share together.

And I reached for a future of happiness, no longer alone. A future filled with love.