As we get lower and lower and as the sound of the jet putting down its landing wheels I start to wonder if we’re going to go through some special part of the airport for security reasons or we’re going to go straight from here all the way to the F.B.I. building or something. But whatever it is, we’re definitely going to have some eyes really kept on us as well too, by the government people it seems. I notice our wives seem collectively ready to seemingly get off the plane, I also realize they didn’t pack any extra clothes or anything like that, seemingly also collectively forgetting to get any, but granted the way we were rushed off by the agents and everything I think stuff like that would be the last thing on anybody’s mind.
We land, with a slightly rough bump of a landing. I look at the clock on the Roku TV and we’re getting towards 9 o’clock at night, judging by how dark it is outside too as well. All the lights at the airport really illuminate our surroundings, seemingly a bit far from D.C., we’re in the Virginia outskirts right now. Judging by the lack of city lights and mostly just Northern Virginia suburbs surrounding us. Grocery stores and schools and subdivisions all around us.
I hear Jennifer complain a little bit about she’s starting to feel some hunger pains in her stomach from not really eating anything during this flight and not having that much to eat today in general, Erica says something about if there’s anything to eat in the mini-fridge, and then Agent Kirkpatrick says something about their being a few Arrowhead Water Bottles they took from the West Coast and a couple of mini Pure Life water bottles, and a few Coke Zeros but that’s about it, nothing food wise.
The agents tell us to wait for a few minutes before we start to leave as there’s going to be a SUV arriving onto the Tarmac in about 10 minutes or so to take us into D.C. and to the FBI office deep in the heart of the city. I think about how cold it is out I bet and I know for sure from experience, remembering how around this time of year in March it’s usually pretty cold and everything on the east coast, the Mid-Atlantic area where we are too, a good contrast compared to the warmness of California during the early months of the year, spring not quite here yet.
It’s quiet between us all as we wait for whatever the next move that agents want us to take, the pilots in the front seemingly chatting with each other as we can hear, seemingly talking with the Air Traffic Control about something involving waiting or something, them getting the memo somehow on what we’re doing. I can hear what I think is Jennifer’s stomach growl a little bit out of hunger during this silence, and her shifting around in her seat when it does, seemingly trying to deflect the attention of her loud pitched growl echoing a little bit in the silence. I can see Tony crack a smile a little bit at this, noticing this too.
The agents seemingly get a notification on their phones, judging by the vibrating buzz that we can hear. Agent Richards seemingly being the first to get his phone out of his pocket and see what the text was, Agent Kirkpatrick being not as quick, rummaging through her purse to grab it.
“Alright, you guys ready to go? ” Agent Richard says, sniffling a little bit as he says this. Agent Kirkpatrick stops looking through her bag when Richard says this. And sits back up.
“Born ready” Tony says, sounding somewhat cliché when he says this and his delivery on how he says this sounds pretty serious and not as goofy as I think he thinks it sounds like, but granted knowing his past and how he was literally born this way I guess it really does apply to him and his situation.
“Allrightty then” Agent Kirkpatrick says, responding to Tony’s remark.
I start to wonder if they know that Tony was born this way and about his history and the fact that I remember Tony mentioning something about this in the car while on the drive to L.A.X. that the agents driving us reacted to, this seemingly being something that caught their attention when Tony said it. So I wonder if the agents we were with told the rest of the agents about there’s much more than meets the eye about Tony’s life and back story and him being this way isn’t quite such a different and unusual situation that he’s used to. But granted, they might find out about us as well as we get more into this whole thing, going into the FBI buildings and all. I kinda dread having to tell my wife about all of this, and probably the rest of my family and everything, and I know Dave and Definitely Tony probably feel the same way about this for sure, since I’m pretty sure for all of us this is a “To the grave” sorta secret as I’ve said before. The only person that knows of everything besides me is Alex, and he’s all the way in England and we don’t talk all that much these days.
Our wives start to get up, and I hear the stairs start to retract and stuff like that outside for we can get out and everything. I see Agent Richards walk towards us and reach out as he gets closer, grabbing for our handle on top of this little breathable box that we’re in. I see Agent Kirkpatrick open the exit door to the plane and as soon as she gets it open you can feel the cold night air blow into the plane, reminding me that we’re really in on the east coast and that I’m really missing that Southern California weather right now.
Our wives go out first, and then we go out, in the hands of Agent Richards, Agent Kirkpatrick seemingly standing on the tarmac watching us and our wives getting into a different SUV than we are. Noticing how there’s two of them out here, one for us and one for our wives it seems to be. The cold ass outside night air going into our box made me shiver a little bit. I hear Dave chatter his teeth a little bit, seemingly jokingly showing how cold it is out here. As we make it down the stairs and onto the tarmac and get closer to our huge tank looking jet black GMC Yukon Denali that we’re apparently going to be transported in, Agent Richards saying how he’s going to put us in the back seat and then the agents inside the SUV will take over things from here. The hum of the Denali’s engine roaring to us at this size as it idles. Its grill looks huge, and they already do look huge at a regular size too. You can really see all the bugs and dirt and stuff on it at this size we’re at in full detail.
Agent Richards walks around and towards the passenger’s side of the SUV, and then beside the backseat door on that side. I hear the noise of it’s doors unlocking with a loud sounding shift, and Agent Richards mumbles good luck to us and then opens the door to the backseat of the Denali, and I can hear Agent Kirkpatrick walking towards the jet in the background, her heels clacking against the ground in the direction of the plane we were just in seemingly to fly back or get her purse or something. I wonder if Agent Richards means anything by the good luck he just said, as if we’re into some deep shit now, or he’s just saying that just to say that. I feel some slight anxiousness when I start to think about it, even though we were told that not much was going to happen to us. I tell myself in my head that it’s probably nothing, and he was just saying that because of the situation we were already in. I can feel the warm air inside the backseat of the SUV blow onto us, contrasting with the cold air outside. Agent Richards reaches into the backseat, and places us on the middle seat right behind the center console, the backseat lights on the top shining down on us as the door is open. I can really smell the new car smell in this SUV, although there’s a few blue Little Trees around the rear view mirror I notice as well, another thing as well too that’s probably contributing to the smell. Agent Richards closes the door with a slight slam, us feeling the vibration from this in our little enclosure, knocking us back a little bit.
“We’re going to leave in a little bit, just a few more minutes. There’s something going on inside the SUV you guys’s wives are in, something about tire pressure” Says the male agent in the front seat driving, he sounds like he could be my age, and his voice sounds quite chilled out and much more personable compared to the other agents who were driving us in the past, like in Los Angeles. It’s dark inside the car, nothing but the light of the dashboard and the radio display, which isn’t playing anything. I look a little bit toward the person in front of me in the front passenger’s seat, who’s a woman, judging by her long hair I see on the sides a little bit.
“You guys have a good trip? LA to D.C. I know you guys are for sure jetlagged” The male agent says again, sounding quite friendly and wanting to strike up a conversation with us.
“Yeah. Yeah, it was good” I responded back, seemingly the most eager out of the three of us to make conversation.
“Yeah, so I’m Agent Warren. I’m one of the people that was shrunken at one point as well too, back in 2009. I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you guys all this yet, but you guys aren’t the first though ” he says.
“Yeah we know, we’ve been told before when were back in L.A. ” Tony says, responding to him.
I see him look at the woman in the seat next to him, as if he wants to run something by her before he says something, and I see the woman shake her head no, pretty softly it seems though. Whatever they’re communicating about I kinda wonder if it’s something I should fear.
“But yeah you guys aren’t al-” Agent Warren starts off before he gets interpreted by a notification on his phone, judging by the buzz from his pocket, quickly digging into his pants pocket and pulling out his phone.
“Alright, we’re ready to go” he says looking at the phone, it’s brightness shining out in the darkness of the SUV.
He puts his phone back in his pocket and he begins to drive and follow the SUV’s with our wives in them in front of us, jolting us a little when he taps on the gas. This Denali already feels like a tank at normal size, these newer ones. It feels like a fortress on the inside as well too. I notice that the gears are on the side of the radio display screen instead of a traditional gear shift and you just push the gear and press down the brake pedal I assume and there you have it, showing off all that new technology you’re seeing in cars these days, innovative stuff.
“So, I hear you’re originally from the surrounding area, Matt” Agent Warren says as he starts to speed up through the airport tarmac and follow the SUV in front of us, and I hear a slight giggle from the woman in the seat next to him. This giggle sounds very very familiar, but again it could be a lot of women that sound like that.
“How did you know that? How did you know my name?” I sound a little defensive.
“Well, you’re dealing with the government now so it would be a little unprepared on our part if we didn’t know and look into your personal information and have it spread throughout every agent that came into major interactions with you, dontcha think? Besides, I think someone over here wants to talk to you” Agent Warren says, and the Woman next to him giggles a little louder, and I think she starts to loosen up a bit and it’s almost like I can pin my finger on who it is laughing but it still escapes me who it might be this time.
The sound of the A/C blasting hot air upfront seemingly mixes in with the hum of the SUV’s engine as we’re cruising along the tarmac as we get more towards the security exit of the airport’s runway and onto streets. Really filling in the silence between me and Agent Warren and the woman next to him, as I think about who it could be. The woman next to him was not exactly answering right away either, even though Agent Warren gave her the space to talk.
“Yes, it’s me. Molly, me and Agent Warren went through something similar that you went through. Well, agent Warren was, I was a major part of it though. I guess this explains my unexplained absence all the years ” Molly says, and as soon as I really hear her voice and after about a minute or two of recognizing who it is and how her voice has aged a bit from the college aged twenty something she was back then when I last talked to her to the fully grown woman well into her 30s woman she is now. I haven’t talked to this woman in nearly 15 years.
I can hear Tony and Dave collectively do a “Oh Shit” under their breath, seemingly as if this is some sorta real life plot twist.
“So this is why you disappeared and looked like you pretty much fell off the face of the earth? This is why your parents didn’t respond with a straight answer or anything when Jon came to ask you about her, like, sometime thirteen years ago I think. We never went to the police about it even though I remember it crossed my mind at some point, but I feel like they wouldn’t be much help about it. “Missing White Woman Syndrome'' aside I guess that could of came out if it but granted your parents acted like were still alive and okay and just not wanting to be in contact with us anymore or anybody else it seems, and plus it didn’t seem that weird considering how we broke up and that whole Thanksgiving mishap too, which was totally my fault still, looking back at it” I say, as I start to really form my thoughts on this situation we’re in.
“Thanksgiving? What’d you do?” Tony says.
“Yeah, you’ve never said anything about that?” Dave says as well, and I notice that the SUV gets off of the security area and through the access road, and now merging onto the Highway access road.
“He made a fool of himself, that’s all we’re gonna say. Isn’t that right Matt” Molly says, " I notice Agent Warren giggles a little at this, as if he knows the full details of what really went on that Thanksgiving of 2008.
“Yeah, we’ll say that” I say, responding, sounding a little embarrassed thinking about it.
“Y’know I’ve changed since then too. I’m not the hot-shot cocky twenty three year old I was back then” I say.
“I’m sure you’re not, time changes us all” Molly says, sounding apologetic in her tone, to some degree.
It’s quiet for a few minutes as we cruise along the highway, the lights from the light poles lined along the highway shining into the car as we pass by them.
“So, is there a thing with you and agent Warren? If he knows about the Thanksgiving incident and everything” I say to Molly, feeling so weird inside that I’m casually talking to a former woman that was a huge part of my younger years that I haven’t seen in what feels like forever, plus the fact I haven’t been in the D.C. area in awhile either is something that’s been on my mind too.
“Well, I mean we do have a thirty minute with some change drive right now. You wanna go into it?” Agent Warren says, looking over at Molly a little bit when he says this, while also trying to keep his eye on the road.
“I mean, do you wanna talk about it, or do you want me to?” Molly says, and with her delivery of how she says this to agent Warren makes me feel like they’re in a relationship of some sorts, as if they’re married and as if they’ve had a lot of conversations together and the like.
“Well, you actually know the guy while I’ve only heard about him over the years. So I’ll let you take the wheel” Agent Warren says, seemingly focusing his head more on the road.
“Okay, so like about a little less than a year after that whole Thanksgiving fiasco that happened I was living in Buffalo New York, had a job as a Massage Therapist after graduation from Pace down in NYC, as you know. And about after a year of living in Buffalo I met Brandon, Agent Warren as you guys know him I guess at a bar with our friend groups after work, and then I was over his apartment after going to Cheesecake Factory for our first date and everything and then he just randomly shrank as soon as he walked in the door, and that lead to me going into hysterics and everything. And then I hung out over his apartment over the course of a couple of days and I accidentally swallowed him in the midst of all of this and then I threw him up, he didn’t have a “full course” of me per say like you guys seemingly did of that one lady. And then he got blown out of the apartment by this gust of wind that came through a open window, and he went on this whole trek through some barmaid and some other girl and one of his female coworkers from work, and then when he was at the hotel that the coworker worked at, getting crapped out by her and then making his way towards the entrance, he saw me driving his SUV, I had the spare keys and stuff, they were in his apartment. And then ran up to me in traffic, slapping on the tires and I'm at a stop light. And I look out the window and I see him and scoop him up and everything, I was completely worried sick plus his cell phone and everything was gone so it’s not like I could of contacted him anyways during this time” Molly says, starting off
“And then after all of that, we went back to my apartment and she completely tore up the place trying to look for me, that I do remember in extreme detail. But that meant she really did love and care for me and everything, this situation we’ve been through together really did strengthen our relationship, which was only ehhh….not long at that point but still. Around this time Jack Cooper was doing a tour and we looked into meeting up with him and the in the next day or so we looked into it and then I became normal sized again randomly, thank God. And the nearest date was in Cincinnati which wasn’t too bad of a drive, surprisingly for a bit of a road trip, and we printed off Directions off of MapQuest to get there. Since this was back when everyone used that for directions. Once we got to Cincinnati and we got our suit and dresses on for the meet up, and we managed to meet up outside the venue with him security seemingly letting us after he okays it and I had my foot run over by his Escalade, as some sorta test because your pain receptors don’t really work after you’ve been shrunk for quite some time and he noticed that I didn’t react to it so he kinda knew I wasn’t lying. I remember he told me later on that most people run off or admit that they’re lying before a test like this happens, since y’know, it would hurt. And then we got into his Escalade and he talked about us being one of the very few people to actually go through this type of stuff and how he had plans for us, and this plan led us into being apart of the Shrunk division of the FBI, something that’s kept away from the general public. I remember after hanging backstage with him before his talk and getting VIP front row seats and everything after this, saying he knew us personally and said we were old friends or something, and then after this we got flown out to D.C. and got straight into training and got introduced to this world like you guys are now. They contacted our Jobs and stuff and said some BS about us being unemployable or whatever, we could still keep in contact with our family and friends though, which was cool” Agent Warren says, finishing off what Molly started and everything.
“Wait, Brandon Warren? Weird question I know, and it could kinda be a coincidence as well too, but are you related to Ben Warren? That guy who went missing around the turn of the millennium?” Tony says, seemingly putting two and two together during the details of this conversation.
“Yep, that was my dad. I still don’t know what really happened to him, although there’s been a few theories with the FBI that he might have been shrunk or consumed some English Grass as well at some point in time, judging by how I was shrunk and everything and genetics, maybe he ended up shrinking someway and died somehow. It’s weird to think about” Brandon says.
“That’s crazy, it really is” Dave says.
“There’s been an instance of something like, a shrunken person being found in someone’s autopsy. Like 2001, like in Philadelphia, there was this shrunken guy found inside this chick’s stomach who died in a car accident, and that ticked our organization off and everything and they had to come and retrieve it and everything. Honestly, Jack Cooper was just in a major situation that too many eyes had seen him so the government just let it slide and acted like he was just a once in a lifetime sorta deal, as if he was defying science or whatever” Brandon says.
“So yeah, there’s a whole lot more into this stuff that you guys don’t know, but are gonna find out about pretty damn soon” Molly says.
“I will say, this sorta thing is kinda genetic. It mostly happens to Anglo-Saxton or Germanic ancestry, but there’s been a few Asians and quite a few black people as well too who’ve been shrunk somehow. Something about how in medieval times there was some sorta birth defect and English grass would cause it, and spread through the generations often skipping a few and then it goes throughout history and then it comes here now. This organization was formed during the Vietnam War or so in 1967, when more cases started popping up stateside. A lot of this mostly happened in medieval times in England with a few cases through time. All of the people who encounter it today are mostly in America and Americans though, it’s pretty rare for something like this to happen outside of the U.S. and Canada, but there’s been cases in South America and Asia and Australia as well too, they have their own task forces with how to handle it and everything and they came out with their own secret agencies over the 70s and 80s. But still, Jack Cooper is the only one we’ve collectively as an organization as a whole to let him be known to the world” Brandon says.
“So it’s like some Men in Black type shit? I never would of guessed” Dave says, with a lot of wonder in his voice.
“That’s a pretty good way of putting it, no Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones in ours though” Brandon says, joking around a little bit.
“Yeah, don’t want the Fresh Prince slappin’ us around” Tony says, jokingly. No-one really laughs or reacts to this, probably due to the fact that all those Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscar jokes were done to death as soon as it happened.
It’s quiet for about a few minutes again, the conversation dying down after Tony’s remark.
I think about initiating conversation to catch up with Molly, but I figure she doesn’t care or seemingly wants to know too much about people from our past lives and what they’re doing ow, she gives off the vibe that she’s accepted her new way of life and has been cool with it for a little over a decade now. Brandon seems still open to conversation, but being my ex-girlfriend’s husband it seems that’s something that’s weird to me a little bit to think about, considering how long it felt like we were together but technically they’ve been together way longer than we ever were. From the beginning of high school to our college graduations roughly.
“Remember when you used to call me Marty McFly?” I say, Tony and Dave giggle at this, Brandon doesn’t seemingly react to this.
“I haven’t called you that in like 20 years. I rarely said that as we got older. I guess you didn't look like him as much as you used as we got older. I’m surprised you remembered that.” Molly says, with a slight laugh in her voice.
“Yeah, well you were my first girlfriend. Went through a lot of life events together” I say, stopping the conversation with this, realizing this could be kinda weird to do with her husband sitting next to her. Maybe "kinda weird" is a understatement.
“Yeah…” She says, leading off.
The rest of the ride to the FBI building is pretty silent, although it’s nice seeing the D.C. surrounding area and the suburbs after years of being away from them, being back here. As we go out of the Virginia suburbs and around Arlington into D.C. proper it’s almost like I never left being in the area with how well I still know my way around the city and how the sights look the same as they did back then with a few difference here or there, scaffolding removed in areas or added in some areas.
The FBI visit and everything, was actually pretty lackluster and less nerve wracking than I thought it would be. Although they didn’t tell us they had a cure for this sorta thing, it turns out Jack Cooper just was cool with being his size all this time and didn’t wanna take it even though his didn’t wear off anyways it seems. And yeah, as they told us in the car, we’re not the first, we’re definitely not the last either as well. The cure is some sorta pill we can have at our size, but it doesn’t really start to kick until 3 or four days or so. What’s it made out of, they don’t tell us. They think we already would have probably been back to regular size anyways in a few days anyways, judging by how our situation went. Miraculously, they never seemingly question about this not being our first time being shrunk. Although they figured something’s up with Tony and his history, they still don’t confront him about it. I think they know he’s the Watergate baby all grown up and somehow regular sized, but they don’t say anything due to his wife. I think they understand they still don’t want our wives and family to know that this isn’t our first time being in this sorta situation, with the way they gloss over certain things. Like how we got shrunk in the first place this time, making contact with each other. They say it typically happens when someone who was shrunk in the past makes contact with someone who's done the same, but in other cases it can be a genetic thing. Us three guys being of Anglo Saxon in our heritages with some sorta common genetic thing going on, it’s rare, but it does happen they say to our wives.
We get some light tests, and our wives watch us, mostly like endurance and mazes like we’re rats or something and the like, nothing too crazy and pretty light weight. We get our pills, but we also get a pension of roughly 100,000 a month which is a million a year for our troubles for the rest of our lives though, for getting swallowed and being put through the human digestive system and everything, since they knew how gross that could be. So that was pretty cool and honestly, I can retire for life and so can me and Tony and Dave as well too. Our wives were over the moon when they heard this. The government sends us a check for this every month.
And honestly, Molly started talking to me again and saying that she might wanna start hanging out and catch up with us again. Brandon seemingly open to making me a part of his circle of friends as well too, having similar situations in the past of course. Not really talking about Tony or Dave it seems. All of this which surprised the hell out of me, I guess having a change of heart about this whole situation and how Molly and I ended things. Molly seemingly being the one to open up to us more. Around 12 o’clock in the morning our visit and government talk and stuff finishes, we’re told to hang out in this little section of the Shrink division inside the FBI building and where we’re going to be for the next could days until this stuff wears off, the area that’s in a super secluded place of the agency doesn’t actually doesn’t look as cool as you would think, just computers and agents and all different time clocks from different parts of the world, showing you what time it is in London or Beijing or Sydney or wherever on the inside. So again, it was pretty lackluster. The agency gave our wives allowances for hotel rooms nearby and rental cars and stuff like that, to stay in D.C. until we were normal sized again. Which they happily obliged in. The agency also saying that they’re shipping their clothes and baggage from the West Coast and it should arrive in the next few days.. They also got some Mickey D’s from a 24/7 spot delivered to them courtesy of one of the agents, they haven’t eaten much of anything during this day.
But it was pretty nice, seeing Molly again after all these years. Once the weirdness of it all wore off, for sure.
I guess I’ll have to wait out the rest of this, but at least I’m not alone in this fucked up situation of ours. My wife, my friends Tony and Dave at least I’d argue these guys are lifelong friends now after all of this shrinking stuff we’ve gone through together plus our backgrounds as well. And Molly, sweet, sweet Molly. A girl I haven’t seen in years who disappeared without a trace turned out to be a FBI agent of some sorts due to her boyfriend, now husband, being shrunk like me. Besides, Tiny Ping Pong Tables with paddles and a regular sized flat screen smart TV with Cable TV and Netflix and YouTube to keep us occupied in the meantime, so could be worse, I guess. They’ll bring us food and there’s a cafeteria and stuff and they’ll say we can get Pizza and sub sandwiches and Salads and stuff at our size as well too and drinks like soda and juice and water of course. Something about food technology they said that the general public doesn’t know about that we can get at our size. We have beds and nightstands and stuff tailor made for us, which is cool and surprising. Getting actual proper sleep during this size we’re in, probably for once. And a shower and a bathroom area too, with seemingly plumbing somehow hooked up to it and everything. And of course, we can talk to each other and have our own company. It’s nice they gave us some clothes to change out of at our size that they’ve got tailor made, although they look like prison jumpsuits with the orangeness of them and the like. It’s amazing how much tailor made stuff they had for our size at the same quality it would be at normal size though. I guess it really shows that we aren’t the only ones with how much detail went into this and how comfortable it is for us.
But thank God, I wasn’t alone at all this time. And it looks like it was always that way in some sorts, too. I just didn’t know it.