I drove back to Pearlman College. It’s a decent place.. I wouldn’t exactly call it a Harvard or Duke, but it gets its job done. Some of the best parties I have ever been to were on this campus. I’ll take a C or two to have a good time. I go to my dorm room and see one of my roommates, Chester, “Here Comes the Sun”, on his guitar. One of his favorite hobbies is to sit by the window and play. I don’t mind, Chester is pretty good.
I called out, “Yo, Chester! Doing anything tonight?”
Chester stopped playing his guitar and said, “Dude, how are those meetings goin’ for you?
I said, “Great! In fact to celebrate, I say that we should get high with a couple of buddies.”
Chester laughed, “Great way to celebrate, Rick! Great way! You know I got my shrooms under my bed.. this is going to be easy.”
We congregate in the woods outside our dorm building. There are four of us.
It is me, Chester, Andrew, and Roger. We were probably one of many groups of people smoking right now. However, they are some of the best people to smoke with. Chester and I are the two fuck-ups of the group in many ways. Both of us are too scared to care about anything too important, so we just try to have fun. Chester is less of a fuck-up since he is a musical genius, not the best, but good enough that he can get a pretty sweet job. All I really did with my life is win a high-school Scrabble tournament.. that stuck it to those high-brow classmates with their showy words they don’t really understand.I definitely just got lucky there... beating six people in a day at Scrabble. I guess it just runs in the family. However, I always have been kind of obsessed with numbers to tell the truth.
Andrew is a genius in many ways. He is extremely book-smart but still manages to be fun to hang around with. He has accomplished a lot in high school, but today just hangs around with us. Great influeneces! Andrew turned down schools such as Dartmouth, Duke, and Cornell to come here since he’s a Perlman Scholar.
I wouldn’t have done that.. for the most part, Perlman is filled with dumbasses. Andrew admitted that he knew that before he came here. Andrew also comes from a pretty wealthy family, he can afford college. He’s from New Jersey, a state which Perlman is simply known as an “alright school with high-quality academics”. People who get the Perlman scholarship in my area usually turn it down. One of my best friends, who was two grades above me, got the Perlman scholarship. He just laughed and never gave it a second thought..he didn’t even get into the places Andrew got into. You have to get rejected by Ann Arbor and Madison before you take any dinky scholarship from there...you gotta love those naive Northeasterners.
Roger is funny, laid-back, and apathetic like the rest of us. Roger was the only one I actually went to school with. He is a football player and pretty good at it, but he apparently wasn’t good enough to be recruited by University of Michigan. However, ever since Roger matriculated at Perlman, its football team has actually been doing alright. Maybe soon we will be a Division I school.. that would be sweet.. think about it! Perlman’s acceptance rate would go down like a zillion percent..
We all just lie down on the ground and start smoking the ganja we have. Nights like these are what remind me that life is worth living. I listen as one of them starts screaming, “FOREST FIRE! LET US BURN ALL THE CUTE FUZZY ANIMALS DOWN TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!” That was Andrew, he gets crazy often when he gets high and we love him for that. I get up a little bit and see a little flame go off. We think, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we didn’t put it out?”. I decided, “Fuck it.”, and blew the flame out while it was small.
I said, “No way in Hell am I going to one of these “Potheads Anonymous”, or whatever the fuck it is they have..”
Chester said, “Why not, dude? You would find a lot of buddies to get ripped with.. I swear that this shit has been making me smarter, man! It really has.. I can transfer the fuck out of here if I wanted to.. but I love you guys too much.”
Roger says, “Hopefully in a gay way!”, and starts laughing.
We all laugh at that.. stupid Roger. We all know he is a closet homosexual, he just fucks chicks because they think he’s a “cutie” or something like that.
I swear, he’s just going to rape one of us someday..
We all just keep getting high till the sun rises.
I laugh and say, “Who of us is going to class?” Chester said, “Yo dude.. I am totally smart now, hah hah!”
I then hear someone say, “Varrick.. you better be going to class today! I am sick and tired of being your caretaker, but I’m not about to let you screw up your life like this!”. I wish I never told that bitch that story of my actual first name.. she uses it every time she’s pissed at me. Yes, this is my girlfriend Holly. Holly has the exterior of a beautiful blonde but the interior of a bald, sad, old cranky man.
I said, “What’s the point, honey.. I am too high to learn anything today anyway.”
Holly said, “We need to get you off your habits.”
I said, “Not a big deal.. I’m just hanging out with my best friends.”
Chester then said, “If you are two are breaking up or anything like that, I’d totally fuck you.”
Holly said, “No, it’s okay Chester.. we just wouldn’t be-.”
Chester said, “No no, I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about Varrick here.”
This broke the tension and the four of us start laughing.
Holly grabbed me by the arm and said, “We are going to have to talk privately tonight.” She left.
Roger said, “Ganja says you’re a liar, man.. you totally have the hots for that dummy.”
Chester said, “What kind of chick wouldn’t be able to resist a guy who can play a guitar?”
Andrew said, “It destroyed my chance at Prom last year.. probably was the fact that I wasn’t looking at her face enough too.”
I said, “You know though that is a tradition for real men. Real men get the best chicks. Your skills are perfect for that.”
Chester said, “Yea.. we were all as high as fuck when we met that chick. It’s the pussy who stays with her.”
I then asked, “Have you ever put in a deposit with her?”
Roger said, “Of course.. that bitch gave me AIDS.”
Chester said, “Must be a bank for pussies! I have the greatest idea, I think I will rather so write a song about this occasion!”
Andrew said, “For Rick, the biggest cunt in all of Perlman!”
We all laughed at that. That statement was far from true..
Roger said, “Wow.. just to think that today I have to go all the way to Georgia to play football against Emory.”
Andrew commented, “You guys should win that!”
I said, “You don’t know fucking Perlman, dude.. they could get Tom Brady and they would still find some way to mess up.”
Andrew responded, “You know.. I was accepted to Emory but chose this lovely school instead.”
Chester said, “And we all laugh at you for that.. most of us don’t even think of applying to schools such as Em’ree..”
We each take another joint.. fuck everything.. at least I’m staying here today.
Giantess World
Author's Chapter Notes:
Rick and his friend Chester decide to get stoned.