Anna plopped down on the spacious leather couch in the living room, propping her feet up and pressing the dirty bottoms of her flip-flops against a small, ornate pillow resting on the end.  In her soft, warm fist was clenched her quivering sister-in-law, her tiny arms pinned to her sides by Anna’s fingers.  She wiggled her fingers in alternating beats as if listening to a song, causing Helen some additional discomfort as she brought her hand to rest on top of her skirt-clad runner’s quad, although she didn’t release her little hostage yet.  She also began to tap her foot to the same beat as her fingers, patting more and more filth from her shoe into the clean pillow, bending her toes back and forth to the beat.  Helen, despite the situation she found herself in, with her poor husband trapped in a glass of wine in the dark pantry, couldn’t help but feel extraordinarily miffed by Anna’s carelessness with the decorative furniture.

                “Anna!  C-Could you please take your feet off of the pillows?” she asked, still stuttering in fear, but determined to maintain some level of adequate decorum in her household.  Anna gave her a funny look, then nodded.

                “Sure thing, sis… you don’t mind if I call you sis, do you?” she answered, swinging back around into a sitting position, planting her feet on the ground with a loud smack.

                “Thank y-you…” breathed Helen, not sure of what to do next.  All she could move was her head; the rest of her was deeply pressurized into Anna’s soft skin creases, and it was nearly numbing most of her body.  Her legs were having intense pins-and-needles sensations, yet she couldn’t shake them out, as Anna had her clamped all the way down to her ankles.

                “Don’t mention it.”

                “C-Could you p-please let Kevin out?”

                “Why should I?  I can’t imagine he’s going to be a happy camper when I do.”

                “S-Supposing, though, that he slips on the bottom, and drowns, or…”

                “Helen, please… Kevin’s not THAT much of an idiot.  It’ll do him good to take a dip in the pool.  He may not smell that great when he comes out, but it’s something,” she smiled breezily, raising her hand back up to eye level and squinting thoughtfully at her husband’s miniscule sister.

                “W-What are you going to d-do with m-me?”

                “Well, sis, that’s what I’m trying to figure out.  Because I think if we hadn’t started off the way we did all those years ago in high school when I met Tom, you and I would have been great friends.  So what do you say to a new start, huh?” she offered cheerfully.  Hesitantly, Helen nodded.  “I’m glad to hear it, Helen.  Friends, okay?”

                “S-Sure…”

                “Friends.  Then, I guess you won’t mind if I make myself at home, will you?” Anna asked blithely, swinging her legs back onto the couch and planting her flip-flops squarely back on the pillows, which she proceeded to rub with the dirt even more fervently than before.  Helen cringed to see the smears from the foam shoe bottom appearing along it, but when she looked back at her enormous sister-in-law’s waiting face, she knew there was a correct answer.

                “No, I won’t…” she mumbled.

                “Great,” began Anna.  Leaving one foot pressed firmly against the pillow, she crossed her other leg, pushing the other dirty shoe bottom against the back of the couch.  She shifted her foot side to side, purposefully grinding the grungy shoe treads against the leather, leaving a mark.  Anna chuckled as she felt Helen squirming uncomfortably at this sight, too scared to speak up about it.  With her right leg crossed upward, the skirt fell partially down off of it, revealing Anna’s toned bare leg.  Calmly, she shifted her grip on Helen, switching from a full fist grip, and instead pinched her by the sides between her thumb and forefinger.  Helen brought her hands to rest on top of each finger for balance, afraid of plunging downward (although the short drop would simply have led to Anna’s firm stomach).  Then, bringing her higher up, Anna placed her on top of her bare knee.  Helen instantly hugged her arms to her torso, afraid of overbalancing herself and slipping, as Anna’s fingers fell away, leaving the woman roosting uncomfortably on the horizontal lower leg.  Sighing, Anna brought both hands behind her head, using her crossed arms as a pillow, allowing her to fully recline and watch Helen’s nervous expression with a front row seat.  “What do you talk about with your other friends, anyway, Helen?”

                “I… I guess I’m not s-sure… current events, I suppose…” she suggested through gritted teeth, eyeing the drop from Anna’s smooth leg anxiously.

                Anna rolled her eyes at this.  “Oh, c’mon… you expect me to believe you’re talking about the election primaries, or a hurricane somewhere?”

                “N-Not always those things…”

                “Oh, I see.  And what “things” are those, then?” asked Anna, becoming sterner and seriously starting to unnerve her tiny captive.

                “I… guess… I guess more, um, “local” sorts of current events.”

                “Oh, I see.  Local.  Isn’t there a name for something like that, Helen?  Where you’re talking about people you know and what’s going on in their lives?”

                “Err…”
                “Like… I don’t know, gossip?”

                “I suppose that crosses the conversation on more than one point, yes,” answered Helen a bit more confidently, finally getting her “sea legs” while sitting on Anna’ massive, meaty leg.

                “Oh, I just LOVE gossip… getting caught up on what everyone’s doing, feeling like you’ve got a piece of the action.  Why don’t you tell me some?”

                “W-What?”

                “I said why don’t you tell me a little gossip; I think it would help us bond as friends, Helen, don’t you?” she asked, bringing her hands back from behind her head and instead crossing them across her chest, looking a bit more like an authority figure, and even this simple action was enough to make Helen feel nervous again about sitting on her leg.

                “Please let me down, Anna.”

                “In a minute.  Tell me some gossip.  I don’t care what kind.  Anything.”

                “I don’t understand what you’re g-getting at here…”

                “Well, let me help clear it up for you, Helen,” smiled Anna.  “I was having a pleasant conversation with a Ms. Franklin the other day.  I believe, actually, that she works for you somehow, right?”

                Helen was finding this to be a rather odd turn in the conversation, and she didn’t particularly like it, but for the moment, it seemed harmless enough; besides, her husband was swimming in a wine glass, so being perched precariously on a soft knee didn’t seem so bad.  She cleared her throat.  “Yes, I do.  She caters.  She works most of my garden parties.”

                “Garden parties, huh?  Sounds like fun.”

                “Oh, they’re… they’re required social functions in the neighborhood,” answered Helen.  Her stuttering was disappearing, as she had gone into a mode where if she could keep a straight face and lie well enough, she felt safe.  “Nothing too exciting.”

                “That’s not quite what I’ve heard from some people who’ve popped in and say you’re the “garden party woman” around here, but that’s not the point.  No, as I was saying, I was having a nice conversation with Ms. Franklin, and you know what she told me?”

                “W-What?”

                “She apparently picked up on some of your conversations with your friends.  It wasn’t eavesdropping; she says you were talking very loudly.  And not really about current events.  No senators, or natural disasters, or stocks.  Not even celebrities.  Imagine that, huh?” she grinned.

                Helen’s skin went ice cold.  She knew where this was going.  “Uhh…”

                “She said you were actually talking about…” began Anna, swallowing hard, clearly somewhat wounded by the truth.  “…ME.  About my husband… my daughter… my jobs… my looks…” she drawled, her magnificent hazel eyes drilling into the tiny face before her.  Helen felt like she had to back up ever so slightly as Anna began to lean forward.  “In fact…” laughed Anna incredulously, breaking eye contact for a second.  “She… she thought this was so ridiculous to bring up, but she did anyway… she mentioned how you were talking with your friends about how you thought I never shave my legs.”

                “I… I never…”

                “Really, Helen, that’s the best kind of conversation you can come up with at your parties?  That your loser sister-in-law doesn’t shave her legs?”

                “I…” gulped Helen, feeling her lungs heave painfully with anxiety, her heart beginning to pound.

                “I mean, I’m not sure.  I THOUGHT I shaved them… pretty often, actually, mostly to make sure I never have to hear you say anything to me.  I suppose we made it halfway, though; I didn’t actually have to hear it from YOU, did I?”

                “Uhh…”

                “What’s up, honey?  Cat got your tongue?”

                “N-No…”

                “How about we settle it once and for all.  You just tell ME what you think, huh?” she asked, reaching her gargantuan hand back out again.  Helen, still not over the shocking new experience of being lifted up helplessly by another human being, gasped and felt goose bumps rush along her skin as the cool, malleable flesh molded itself around her body and plucked her up, leaving her backside exposed, the thick finger pads pinning her arms to her sides.  Pressing the tiny, shaking woman’s back against her knee, then, Anna began to stroke the body up and down her shin, from her knee to her ankle, and back again, like a slide.  After a few minutes of this, simply smiling at her new “friend” while rubbing her along her leg, she heard a soft whimpering noise.  “Something wrong?” she asked good-naturedly.

                “Y-You can stop now, Anna… please…”

                “STOP?  I don’t think you would be able to judge very accurately after just that, though, sis.  Maybe just a little more…” she offered.  Shifting her grip, she slid Helen vertically, head first, down the slope of her leg from her knee down to her hip.  Helen gasped again, the blood rushing around wildly in her head, as Anna serenely used her body to stroke along her own, as it turned out, extremely smooth and muscular runner’s legs.  Through her clothes, Helen could feel the tough, rolling hills of Anna’s calf, flexing as she passed over it, vibrating her ever so slightly.  Then, she’d cross over the largest plain, her quad, and feel like she was in the midst of a tectonic shift as the soft skin began to emanate outward against her body, her quad flexing powerfully, the warm muscles twisting roughly under the smooth, shaved skin.

                This went on for several minutes, with Helen’s whimpering becoming louder as she got dizzier and dizzier from being stroked upside down, but finally, she felt Anna shifting her grip back around her body, holding her right side up again.  Half grateful to be upright and half terrified to once again be feeling the warm flesh up so close to her body, she quivered with fear as she felt Anna’s pointer finger casually snake over her shoulder, stroking at it as if to calm her.  Anna then began to pulse into the tiny shoulder, offering her a back massage with her mammoth digit.  Helen, uncomfortable, looked up at her sister-in-law’s face again.

                “What’s the verdict, sis?” Anna asked.

                Helen coughed, clearing her head.  “S-S-Smooth…”

                “I guess you were wrong, then, huh?”

                “Y-Yes.”

                “Thought so.  But see… that wasn’t all Ms. Franklin shared.  Apparently, there’s a teensy little rumor going around about the ways I spend a lot of my evenings in my house.  And, oddly enough, it seemed to have come directly from…” she said, raising a finger.  She pressed her fingertip directly against Helen’s mouth, hurting her teeth and lips with the pressure for just a second before pulling off again.  “…YOU.”

                “Oh…” whimpered Helen, shrinking a little bit with her neck, lowering her head, almost as if in shame (in reality, it was simple, stone-cold fear).

                “She said…” began Anna, but she had to take a break mid-thought to chortle readily, slapping a hand onto her bare leg for emphasis and making Helen jump at the sound.  “…she said that everyone seemed to think I do lines of coke at night,” she laughed, shutting her eyes and throwing her head back, chortling loudly.  “Can you BELIEVE that?” she said, one of her eyes watering from the laughter.

                “N-No, I c-can’t…” whispered Helen.

                “I mean, look at me; do I look like I’ve got the street smarts to get coke?  Or, at least, the amounts of it the guests at your party seemed to think I was doing?” asked Anna, holding out a hand and running it along the length of her body as if presenting herself as an example in her statement.

                “No,” came the barely audible squeak of Helen.

                “I’m not even sure I understand the correct mechanics of it so I don’t CHOKE on it, or whatever,” said Anna, continuing to laugh.  Slowly, she brought her hand closer and closer to her face.  “But now I’m thinking: why don’t we just find out together?” she asked.  Suddenly, she was rushing her hand right up to her nose.  Then, bringing Helen up even closer, she pressed Helen’s face firmly against her right nostril, trapping Helen’s nose and mouth underneath it, forcing Helen to breath air directly out of Anna’s nose, the rest of her face pressed against the plush nose flesh.  Helen screamed, but the sound was lost entirely into Anna’s nasal cavity.

                Helen watched helplessly as Anna used her other hand to extend a pointer finger and block up her other nostril from airflow.  She looked down at her lips, parting so she could slowly exhale waves of warm air, ready for a new breath.  Helen peeked to her side, unable to see very far because her face was pinned so firmly against Anna’s nostril, and could see the massive stomach below puffing out under the white top.   Anna was out of air.  Helen, realizing fully now what was going on, squealed with terror, shaking her head side to side as if to say no, but she was flatly ignored.

                Rearing her shoulders, Anna sucked into her nose as hard as she could, which instantly put tremendous pulling force on the little face jammed against her nose.  The puny sister-in-law screeched violently into the nasal cave again, feeling as if her face had been attached to a vacuum.  She could actually feel her skin being tugged into the raging storm of air rushing into Anna’s nose.  The smell was very odd, combining a starchy odor with a dank wetness.  As this massive inhalation slowed down, Helen was disgusted to feel a few nose hairs coming back to rest, landing on her tightly closed mouth.  Additionally, what felt like the tiniest droplet of mucus began to drip down inside of it, feeling cool against Helen’s upper lip.  The tiny woman began to struggle violently, feeling revolted at the things that were touching so close to her mouth.  Anna felt this maneuver coming, though, and pressed her even harder against it, smushing her own nose partially out of shape with the effort, releasing her fingertip from her other nostril and allowing regular airflow again.  Then, she began to exhale everything in preparation for the next line of Helen-caine, flaring her nostrils threateningly.

                Now, once again out of oxygen due to Anna’s rapid exhalations, Helen had no choice but to open her mouth and gasp for breath.  She began to quiver, disgusted beyond belief, as she felt thick, gooey liquid dribble into her mouth.  She spat into the nose, but because her head was angled directly upward so it would fit snugly against Anna’s nostril, this was unsuccessful, and her shaking only continued as she felt herself swallow it, horrified.  The rapid intake began almost immediately afterward, hugging Helen’s hapless face even harder than before against Anna’s nostril.  The woman actually felt physical pain on her face on this one, her cheeks becoming sore from the strain of being sucked so mercilessly over such a relatively small space of her body.  Her eyes looked up, being just below the bridge of Anna’s nose, and were able to see every detail of the mildly oiled pore field covering Anna’s nose: it was a sight anyone would see if looking at a nose with a magnifying glass.  Helen was simply being saved the trouble of doing that in this instance as she wretched again upward into the damp nostril, her eyes beginning to water from the effort to keep her cool.

                With every bit of her lungs filled up, Anna finally released her human drug’s face from her nose, returning to normal breaths and sighing happily.  As soon as she was freed from the pressing, though not from Anna’s adjusted pinch grip in her soft fingertips, the little woman grasped roughly at her face, trying to wipe the thick goop from Anna’s nose off of her face, mostly in vain.  She shrieked a little as a long strand of it stayed connected to her hand, unbroken, forcing her to wipe it onto her own pants rather messily.  This spectacle only caused Anna to chuckle a little more loudly as she stared into the disgruntled, mucus-coated face of her sister-in-law.

                “Not bad.  Not bad at all…” she smiled.  “If that’s anything like how it actually is, and I might just have to try some of the real stuff someday.”

                “Uh-huh…” gasped Helen, wide-eyed, still in a state of shock over the disgusting event she had just been forced through.

                “I think that’s enough girl talk for now, honey,” she continued, casually flicking a finger at a persistent, sticky drooble of phlegm still connected to Helen’s chin, chuckling down at her.  “Let’s go check up on the big man of the house, shall we?”