Lucy was scratching at a bump at the back of her neck as she was strolling further through the store. She had been looking at ceiling, curious as to how Tara was doing. She had definitely been gone for a good while. “I wonder what she'll have done by the time I get home?” The cart rolled through some of the aisles as she thought about what had happened at home. She had a fair amount of her list already obtained already. She slowly passed the cooler section of the store, a cool wind blowing past her, blowing her hair back and sending a chill up her spine.
The timing was awkward. Her mind went to Tara as soon as the chill flew up her spine. The guilt came rushing back into her. As much as she hated to think about it, leaving Tara alone at home bothered her a little, as did keeping this secret from her. She had that knot in her stomach from earlier still present, pressing against her, every so often. The feelings and those little voices in the back of her head were still nagging and scratching at her, telling her that what she was doing was wrong, though also telling her it was right.
The idea of keeping secrets from Tara wasn't exactly a positive thought in Lucy's mind. She loved Tara with all her heart. This party had been planned for a good week or two by now, yet her mind was never stressed about it until now, today. She stopped in the middle of the refrigerated foods aisle that she'd just walked in and started thinking about it. What had changed so much in the situation? Actually, that question was futile. She knew what had changed in the situation. The difference was that now Tara knew that she was keeping something from her. The radio was playing in the background, displaying a tune that got Lucy thinking even harder.
“I'm back in the U.S.S.R. You don't know how lucky you are, boy.
Back in the U.S.S.R.!
Been away so long, I hardly knew the place. Gee, it's good to be back home.”
A can of cinnamon rolls flew into the card at an almost unprecedented speed as Lucy walked through the aisle, speeding up her pace. She didn't have much to collect, and those lyrics had come into her head. She thought about that last set of lyrics, and started to think about how long she'd really been gone from home. How long had it seemed to Tara? They hadn't been apart since they'd met. It could have seemed like a long time to her. She got in her mind that she wanted to get out of the store and back to her little Tara as soon as she could.
It wasn't the song lyrics alone that had changed Lucy's mind. It was the entire situation she'd put Tara through today. Tara may very well have been just fine at home, by herself, but Lucy felt bad. She was keeping secrets from her, and she was lying to her about wanting her to do those things on her own. In truth, it was something she could tell her. She knew that Tara wanted to do stuff on her own, but it had just been a way to keep the girl at home, so she wouldn't be with Lucy as she collected supplies for this party that she was trying to keep a surprise.
Good intentions or not, she felt bad about things and wanted to get home as soon as she could. Tara's cute, little face was shining in her head. The mental image made Lucy both happy and sad. She knew she needed to get home to make things up to her for doing this to her. Fortunately, the party would be happening soon, so she could hurry up and get back today, try to get an apology out today as she snugged with Tara, just like she'd promised to, and they could get the party over with. Although the party needed to be precise, it was also causing a little stress in Lucy, now that Tara was aware that she was hiding something from her.
Coming up to the registers, Lucy found a 'do it yourself' line and finally got her cart up to where everything was. The electronic voice came through, welcoming her to the line and she started scanning all of the stuff in her cart. Before long, everything was through and Lucy slid a few paper bills into the machine, paying for all of the supplies. Taking a few minutes to finalize things, she put everything in plastic bags and tied them shut, so she could get everything put away when she got home, not worrying about Tara seeing any of these party supplies while she comes into the house later on.
Carrying the two bags in one hand, Lucy walked out the door. Tara was still on her mind, and she realized that feeling guilty wasn't the only thing pushing her home so quickly. As she thought about Tara, she felt a warm knot in her stomach, different from the one of guilt. She started walking more quickly as she walked home, passing the blocks with ease. Her pace had heightened and she saw some more bipedal harpies flying through the air, their beautiful, black wings painting the skyline.
“I...miss her.” she spoke to herself, as she got about halfway home. There was a lot pushing her home so quickly. The guilt of what she'd done, the song lyrics from the store's radio, but most of all, was something completely different. In separating from Tara, even for just a little while, she had started to miss her. Among all of the things that could have happened, the big thing that was making her rush home, as fast as she could was the desire to see that cute, little woman again. To see her and she was going to give her the best snuggling she could muster as soon as they were reunited.