I don't remember what day or month my fuck up happened. I just know that I regret it everyday of my life. Actions have consequences they always say. I didn't believe them at first. My young naive self paid for it. My older self has to live with the consequences everyday of my life. Unless I somehow escape.

Let's go back to the past. On the day that all this started. It was outside on a sunny day. I was spending time with my little brother and his friends. His friends were way younger than me. They must have been around a 7-10 year range. The little kids looked up to me because I was older than them. I was nice to them and always played games. 

But there was this one annoying little kid named Josh. His face resembled a duck. His lips sticked out like a beak. The other kids made fun of him and called him Duckface or Quackers. I tried hard not to be mean to him, but sometimes he deserved it. He acted like a jerk to me and my brother.

So we were outside. I was basically babysitting these kids. With no pay, unfortunately. But I was doing a bad job at babysitting though. I was messing around on my phone while the little kids played football. Boys play rough. I can vouch for that. The kids started fighting each other and what o you know, Josh was the cause of it.

To make a long story short, Josh couldn't talk the talk. He started crying, but he didn't stop there. He was yelling and throwing a fit like a baby. The kids just kept chanting Duckface. Then he did something that none of us expected. Josh walked out onto the driving lot and laid on the asphalt.

I was the only responsible one there so I had to feel the obligation to help him. I didn't want to. The kid was pretty fucking annoying. Part of me just wanted to leave him there. Without him getting runned over, I should say. I'm not an asshole like that. Don't think of me like that.

So there I was standing next to a downed crying Josh. I was trying as hard as I could to cheer him the hell up. This kid was just having none of it. I was telling him that it's his fault for this. If he didn't act like a jerk, he wouldn't be in these positions. Kids at that age don't listen to reason. I don't blame. I was the same way. I'm sure you guys were too.

We must have doing this for at least 10 minutes. Then I see a black Toyota Corolla driving our way. It's a little dirty, but the car is nice and runs very well. I recognized who this car belonged to. Amber drives this car. I realized that it was time for her to go home. You see, even though she has a free room, she prefers to live in an apartment. Not wanting Josh to get ran over, I stand in the way of Amber's car.

It worked because Amber came to a halt. She stuck her head out and said for me to go over there. I turned around to see Josh getting up and leaving. With Josh perfectly fine, I walked over to Amber.

"What was that kid doing on the ground?" Amber asked. Her voice resembled that of a blonde bimbo. But I still liked her anyways.

"Ahh he was being stupid." I responded.

"Whatever. I need you to do me a favor." Amber grabbed something from her purse. In her hand was her room card key.

"What do you need me to do?" I wanted to be nice to her. I hoped that one day, when I was older, I could go out with Katie or Amber. 

"I left my phone charger in my room. Could you grab it for me? You're the only mature one around here." Amber extended her arm with the key in her hand out towards me.

"No problem." I take the key from her hand. "What room number?"

"It's room 100. On the 1st floor. You'll see it on your way in."

"Where's you're charger at?"

"It's on top of a drawer. It's right next to my TV. You can't miss the TV."

"Alright. I'll be right back. Try not to run over any kids while I'm gone." I crack a smile at her. She gives me a little smile in return.

I walk to the entrance into the hotel. You have to have a working key to get in. No key, no in. As I enter the hotel, I see room 100 on my left. Amber's key slides into the magnetic lock. The green light signifies that the door can be opened now. I'm in Amber's room.

A wave of jealousy enters my body. Her room is twice as wide as our normal rooms. It's like the size of a tiny apartment. I was thinking to myself, "Why do you need an apartment? This basically is an apartment."

On my left is the kitchen. It the same kitchen every room has. You have your fridge with the hotel's advertisements. Next to that is a cabinet to store stuff, then the kitchen sink, finally the stove. There are no ovens though. Above the stove is the built in microwave. On my right is the entrance to the bathroom. It's a normal bathroom. Sink, tub, toliet, etc.

Past the kitchen and bathroom is where the fun stuff is. Next to the bathroom is a neatly made bed that looks like it hasn't been used in a while. There's a table with a lamp on it. I look to see that a Twilight book is on there. Great, she reads Twilight. She's still hot though.

Next to the kitchen is a pile of clothes and two more bags. The pile has your everyday clothing. Shirts, bras, panties, socks, and pants. Close to the pile are a pair of blue grayish slippers. The bags probaby have clothes in them too. I don't bother to check.

About 6 feet away from the clothing is a long shelf full of DVD's. On top of that is a big Toshiba 52 inch screen TV. I had to pause and stare at it. How could she afford something like this on a hotel salary? I don't care if it didn't make sense, it was awesome to look at. What made it even better was that she had a comfty looking couch on the other side of her room.

I had to snap myself out of it. I was here to grab her charger. I probably have already wasted a lot of time. She's probably wondering what's taking me so long. I unplug her charger and am ready to leave her room. Until I get an urge.

Something was overtaking me. It was like someone was talking to me inside my head. They were saying, "Chris. Look at that pile. You know what you can do. You can see if their dirty. Give it a little sniff. Try it out. No one will ever know."

I should have fought it. I should have resisted it with all my heart. I was a freak, but I wasn't that fucked up. Yet, I was that fucked up. I waved up the white flag. I let those thoughts take control. Part of me knew I did it on purpose.

The first thing I grabbed for was the slippers. I brought them to my nose and took a big whiff. Disappointment, disappointment is what I felt. Thses slippers had just been washed. You know how I know? They smelt like lavender. I knew I would find more disappointment in the pile because they must have been washed too. I was wasting too much time. Amber would be suspicious of me.

I put the slipper back in it''s original postition. I quickly left her room. I hastly made my exit out of the hotel. Amber was still here, waiting for me. She looked at me and said, "What took you so long?"

I had to quickly think of something. So I went with, "Oh sorry. I was having trouble with your key. It works fine. I think it was just me. Sorry."

"Well thanks for grabbing my charger." She gave me a weird look. I don't think she was buying my story. She drove off, leaving me questioning her.

Two days had passed since then. I hadn't seen Katie or Amber. Mainly because I went to the movies and the mall. I had gotten home from seeing a movie. I don't remember what it was. It probably wasn't that good. I was going up to my room. I lived on the third floor so I take the elevator. The stairs are too far from where I am.

When the elevator doors opened, Amber was standing in front of me. Her mouth opened and said, "Sup. Can I see you in my room real quick?"

My heart started beating faster. My horny teenage self was only thinking, "What if she wants sex?"

"Sure." I said. We entered her room. Everything looked the same. Nothing had changed. But there was one thing new. On Amber's bed was a weird toy. It resembled one of those alien blasters you see in a bad 50's science fiction movie. I asked Amber, "What's with the toy gun?"

"It's something I picked up on the way here. I've had it forever." Amber said. 

"So what did you want to see me about?" I was hoping it wasn't something bad. What if she found out about what I did? My heart was beating even faster.

"I have some clothes for you in those bags." I turn to see the bags I never looked into. "There are men's clothes in there. Some pretty cool shirts and pants. Check em out."

Phew! It was nothing. Only about clothes. What a relief! It couldn't have hurt to look. Maybe I could find something cool to wear. I was getting tired of my old clothing. I got down on my knees and pulled open one of the bags. There was something strange inside of it though.

There were normal men's clothing inside of the bag. Shirts and jeans. But there was also different sizes. Not like large, medium, or xtra-large. More like small. I mean really small. Some looked like they could fit a Ken doll. Others looked like they were made for miniature toys. I didn't understand why some of these were so small.

"Hey Chris." Amber said. I turned to see a bright blue light fill my vision. Then, darkness.