I dialed her number again frantically, but it didn't seem to matter. In my current state, I felt too nervous to do anything, so I remained at the foot of my door, drying my tears. I'd call Valerie's number, let it ring a couple of times and then hang up. I was too embarassed for her to hear my voice. I was too embarassed to even explain what happened. I still wasn't sure myself.
I finally mustered up the strength to get myself up. I decided that no matter how this had happened, I needed to deal with it and I needed to tell Valerie. Before I did though, I rushed back into my bathroom, still in shock to see the female face staring back at me. The eyes that stared back at me appeared scared and tired. I gazed down briefly and let out a great sigh. I had to figure this out. I had to get in touch with Valerie and explain what happened.
I splash some water on my face from the bathroom sink, trying to feel more awake. I finally force myself out the door and begin walking to my car. I think to myself and try to consider the best way to do this. I remember Valerie mention that she had work. She worked at a clothing store in the mall, but how could I convince her who I really was?
Just as I was about to start my car, I felt my cell phone vibrate. I picked it out of my pocket and looked at the screen to notice another text message from Valerie. It said "Leave me alone". I sighed and started my car. Besides a few moments where I'd feel disoriented, I felt fine otherwise. I felt like I had a hangover from the night before, but this was something much more serious. As I stared back at my eyes in the rear-view mirror with surprise I couldn't help thinking to myself that dreaded thought?
"What if I was stuck this way?"
I found a parking space at the mall and walked in, greeted to the usual bustling noises and large crowds. I hurriedly found Valerie's job and peeked inside. Feeling shyer than normal, I stumbled in, greeted by 2 persistent women at the front.
"Hi, would you like to try our new fragrance?" a black haired lady chirped, having already lifted the fragrance off its plastic pedestal. The other lady held back a chuckle, as if she had seen the entire act a dozen times already. I shrugged and shook my head.
"Um,no thanks" I mumbled.
"Was there anything you needed help with?" the other lady asked and I decided to ask for my friend this time.
"Um... is Valerie on today?" I asked nervously.
"Val's on break" the black haired fragrance lady replied, "but we can take a message, is this an emergency?"
"Uh... no" I said, struck with confusion at the question. It may very well be an emergency but certainly not one which I was accustomed to. "I'll just come back later..."
I shuffled my way out of the store quickly, as the friendly women followed me out the door with their salutations. I paced down towards the food court, hoping in my mind I was right. My body may have changed but my mind stayed mainly the same and I had all of my memories of Valerie and knew what she did on breaks.
Sure enough, there she sat, alone, having a quick lunch.
I took a deep breath and approached her table, feeling like a complete stranger. What would she say? What would she think? I certainly didn't want her to cause a scene because some random girl was talking to her. As I approached, she seemed distracted by her phone which was something I had been accustomed to seeing.
As if by habit, I let out a chuckle, not realizing how close I was to her so that she could hear.
"Shouldn't you be focusing on your lunch?" I muttered, but not quietly enough. Valerie turned around in surprise to see her female friend staring down at her in the cheap mall seat. She turned away quickly, using her hair to further hide her face from me.
"Please... whoever you are, leave me alone" she sighed.
Feeling more aggressive now, I sat in the chair across from Valerie but she simply turned her body away from me.
"Valerie, please..." I sighed.
Valerie remained silent, noticeably upset. I was a woman now, so why couldn't I figure out what was upsetting her? She wouldn't even speak to me, but as I stared at her from her outwardly turned angle, my mind was racing, trying to figure out things to say.
"Val?" I said, in a heartfelt tone, "I'm sorry you've been having a rough week, and... I guess I should be more... understanding of that, instead of asking for your help..."
Finally, Valerie broke her silence.
"Okay, WHAT do you want?" she said, her voice suddenly becoming rude.
"Huh?" I asked, startled.
"What do you want?" Valerie asked, "I'm really not in the mood for this... I'm sure you're a nice enough person but why did Bobby send you here?"
"Bobby?" I asked nervously, still unfamiliar with the concept of hearing my own name in this context.
"Yeah." Valerie said, "I'm fed up with this, look, I gotta get back to work"
She stood up in a huff and took her tray. I stood up at the exact same time, trying to stop her.
"Valerie, please wait!" I gasped, raising my voice. I felt myself grow more and more tense and could feel it in my bones. The feeling built up inside of me and finally, I began sobbing, my words slurring. Valerie walked away, but a lot slower, until finally she turned back.
"Ah geez..." she sighed, watching me crumple to the ground on one knee, eliciting stares from several onlookers. "Look... ugh, c'mon what's wrong?"
"I... I..." I stuttered, fumbling with my words, "I need to talk with you...please... I'm going through something... really bad... right now"
Valerie frowned.
"I'm sorry, but I don't even know you..." Valerie said, a sincere tone in her voice.
I nodded somberly.
"Y-Yes you do" I stuttered, my voice gunked up from the onslaught of mucus and tears flowing through me. I got myself up and turned flush red, feeling unprecedented embarassment. "YOu have work until 5, right? Can I talk to you then?"
Valerie gave me the most unwelcoming stare back I'd ever seen. I suddenly felt the fear inside me grow.
"Look, miss... I'm sorry about... whatever's going on, but why don't you just stay with Bobby or something...? I really don't know you and I'm just... a little uncomfortable right now" Valerie stuttered, backing off and heading in the other direction.
"Val, wait!" I said, forcing the words out.
She said nothing and continued to walk away. I didn't want to chase after her and cause even more of a scene so I stayed behind and sat back down at the table. I no longer felt like crying. In fact, I felt almost nothing. My best friend had run from me twice, and thought I was someone else. I tried connecting with her but it was no use. How could I ever hope to explain this? I didn't even understand it. Maybe this was all some kind of nightmarish dream, but everything felt all too real.
Well now what? I thought to myself, looking around the crowded mall. I couldn't believe it, but a small portion of my mind was entertaining the thought of buying female clothes. But why? I didn't want to embrace this, I wanted to be free of it. I thought it'd make me more believable to Valerie. But I didn't want to be believable... I was a boy in a girl's body. There was nothing believable to be had.
I shrugged and looked around, having a few hours to kill before Valerie left work. I decided to indulge my inner female and entered Macy's, looking at several cosmetic products with utter confusion. As much as they interested me, they also kept me away with their expensive price tags. Geez, it cost more than I thought to be beautiful.
Chuckling at the thought, I returned to the mall and sat down on a bench. After some time had passed, I noticed another fellow had sat beside me. He looked me in the eye a couple times, turning away everytime I acknowledged him. I shrugged it off, but felt uncomfortable all the same, so I fished for my phone out of my pocket and pretended to be on it.
The guy still caught my eye through my periphery so I put my phone down, ending my "fake texting" and looked at him.
"hey" he said, sounding very shy. "how's it going?"
"Uh, fine" I said, giving him a small smile, but only to make him feel more at ease. It was weird making someone else feel nervous. It always used to be the other way around.
"Are you... waiting for anyone?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit more assured.
"Huh? Me? No... well, just waiting for my friend" I said, not expecting to be engaged in conversation at this time.
"Oh... cool" he said, and then shrugged, "yeah me too"
"Oh, thats cool" I said, humoring him. The guy appeared to be a few years younger than me and was noticeably nervous. he slid his body closer to mine on the bench though causing me to slide over, until I found myself making contact with the edge, feeling cornered.
"I uh... think I'm gonna go" I said nervously, smiling involuntarily as I tried to be nice. As I was walking away, I heard his voice raise. I felt guilty enough to turn around and talk to him.
"You uh... have a lot of friends?" he asked.
"What?" I asked.
"I was just asking... if you have a lot of friends" he asked.
"Um... no... I mean, I don't know" I stuttered.
"Well I just figured you did..." he said, "because you're ... because you're beautiful"
"Oh geez" I sighed, finding myself almost laughing but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I looked down at the ground, barely making eye contact with the young boy but uttered, "Thanks" and walked away.
That felt so weird, I thought to myself, leaving the kid behind and being sure to speed up as I walked back through Macy's, simply to get away. He was a nice enough kid but that had been more awkward than even I could remember being at his age. I'd never sit down next to a strange woman and just start talking like that. Maybe at a bar, but not at a mall and not to make lame ass compliments like that. Was I beautiful though? I stopped and looked at myself in one of the store mirrors. I found myself instantly critical of my face and my eyes, which still appeared tired and worn. I'm sure for the ridiculous price of $34.95, I could make myself look YEARS younger with some product they had there but why did I even care?
Furthermore, why did I care if I was BEAUTIFUL? That was such a stupid word anyway... I'm not beautiful, I'm just... me. At least, I think I'm me.
Giantess World
