"All right, settle down!"

Rodney Hassle was trying to get all of the freshmen and sophomores in the lobby of Unnamed University to settle down, but it was turning out to be, well, his last name.

"People!" he shouted, which somehow shut the whole room up.  "I have an intriguing photograph.

"Yeah, why should I care?" asked Shelby Taylor.  "It's not like you've ever shared anything of importance."

"Hey," he retorted, "I said that Ching was a criminal, and I was right.  Look."

He took out his phone and showed a photo to the people in the lobby.  Shocked, they saw a picture of one of the smartest Freshmen in the school, Hero Jones...flying a broomstick!

"Are we sure this is real?" asked a dubious Brick Rock.

"Hey," replied Rodney, "I don't lie.  I overreact; I don't lie."

"He's right, unfortunately," siad Susan Gripe, the statistic whiz.  "The circumstantial odds of Hero Jones not being a witch are negligible."

"We must use reason," retorted Vance Dubois.  "Reason is the most reasonable path."

"I am using reason," replied Susan.  "It's just an unusual conclusion."

"Fine," replied Jane Wellington, Vance's boyfriend and the most influential sophomore at the school.  "It's got to be true."

"We must confront the witch!" shouted Rodney.  Everyone chanted, "Confront the witch!  Confront the witch!  Confront the witch!" as they marched to their rooms, grabbed whatever looked like the best weapon (or, in Vance's case, a cheese grater), and regrouped outside of Hero's room.  With a mighty kick, university bully Joshua Johnson knocked down the door to Hero's dormitory.

Everyone was awed by the sheer irregularity of Hero's room.  It had wierd sybols drawn on the walls and an empty birdcage sitting on a desk in the corner.  Suddenly the door slammed shut behind them and their intended victim, Hero, entered the room.

"To what do I owe this rude intrusion?" asked Hero, eyeing the torch held by Rodney Hassle.

"We know you're a witch!" said the stupidly brave Rodney.  "You must pay for your crimes!"

"Yeah!" cheered the group, mostly just interested in the intense violence.

"What crimes?" retorted Hero.  "I've harmed no one!"

"Stop, temptress!" shouted Rodney.  "We have come to silence your dark magic!"

"Hah," chucked Hero.  "Just one question.  If anyone here is not here to kill me, please leave the room now."

Nobody moved.

"Fine, then," said Hero, apparently dejected.  "But did you really think that, if I indeed did have some sort of magic, I could be killed this easily?  You're lucky I'm the nice one," she added ominously.

She raised her arms, and a wind suddenly rushed through the room, lifting glowing symbols off the walls and causing them to spin around the group.  "This is an experimental spell, so I'm glad I managed to find some deserving test subjects!"

Realizing their foolishness too late, everyone in the crowd - except for Rodney - tried to leave, only to find, to their utter dismay, that the now rapidly spinning symbols acted as a barrier to their escape.

"HAPAALU NATASUNI!" shouted Hero, and the group was blinded by a bright light.