“It’s been a while since I’ve been a fish.  It’s really fun!” Rhodora exclaimed, picking up Jake the flowerpot.  “Thanks for volunteering to be the tank, Jake.  You want to go directly to that form, or you want to take a stretch or two back in human form?”

            Jake did not seem to need much time to decide.  “If you make the transformations nice, slow, and pleasurable, I’ll let everybody get a look at my human form first.”

            “I promise it’ll be good, my friend,” Rhodora smiled craftily, setting him on the floor.  

            The clay pot began to shudder and stretch.  As it enlarged, a slight cracking sound was heard as the clay softened into flesh.  It grew higher and higher, arms bursting from its thickening torso, which was swiftly separating into legs on the bottom. 

            The whole form shuddered with a groan of pleasure as features appeared on a rather pallid face.  Sandy brown hair sprouted on its head, and Jake stood in front of us, looking dejected.

            “What’s wrong, it wasn’t good?” Tommy demanded, always ready to defend Rhodora.

            “No!  It was wonderful, obviously.  I just hate being human.  Change me, Rhodora.  Make me a nice tank.”

            So Jake the flowerpot didn’t like to be human.  Well, here I was, Doug the Chair, loving everything about my new form, dreaming of what else I would ask to become…yet I didn’t hate being human.  This was just…more interesting…and it felt damned amazing, to be honest!

            The doorbell rang.  “Who the hell is that?” Jake spat.

            Rhodora walked to the door.  “Sorry, Jake, you might have to remain human for a few more minutes.”  Several objects laughed and Jake kicked angrily at the floor as Rhodora opened the door.

            There stood a rugged-looking man, who craned his neck to look past Rhodora into her house. 

            “Officer Scottson.  How…nice to see you…again,” Rhodora said, obviously trying to cover up a hint of annoyance in her voice.  “How can I help you?  Just…checking in as usual?”

            “Damn,” Jake uttered.

            The policeman obviously heard Jake’s outburst.  He pushed the door open wider.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  You have company…again.  I’ll come back later.”

            “No, it’s alright.  What’s wrong?”

            The officer caught a glimpse of Jake and scrunched up his face.  “Who’s he?”

            Rhodora let out an angered breath.  I’d never seen her as anything but patient, but this guy was even getting to me.  “He’s a friend.  Is there a problem?”

            “Well, like you said, I was just checking out the neighborhood as usual—”

            “Officer, it’s nice that as a neighbor you keep an eye on everyone, but it’s not necessary.”

            “Oh, but it is.  It is.  I see men coming to your house, but I never see anyone leave except you.  Why is that?”

            Rhodora gulped, but kept her voice steady.  “I don’t know.  Perhaps you’re not watching at the proper time,” she retorted.

            “Oh, I’m always watching.”

            “Rhodora, everything okay?” Jake sauntered up behind her.

            “Who are you?” Officer Scottson demanded.

            Jake glared at him.  “Who are you?”

            “I’m a police officer.”

            “Are you on duty?”

            “No, I live next door.”

            “That’s nice.  Bye!”  Abruptly, Jake shut the door in the surprised man’s face.  “Asshole.  He made me stay human for far too long!”

            I started laughing at his reaction.  It was totally ludicrous. 

            “Shut up, chair,” Jake mumbled.

            Rhodora patted him on the back.  “Thanks, Jake, but we need to be a bit more careful than that.  We might have to move to a different area if he calls attention to us.”

            “Oh, he lives alone.  Just turn him into a bush and plant him outside.”

            “Come, let me change you.  Lie down here.”  Rhodora pointed to the floor, and Jake obeyed, already in better spirits. 

            “Nice, ooh, nice,” he gasped as his body elongated.  I found watching the process of transforming to be beyond fascinating, and Jake’s changes were no different in this respect.  His body flattened into a featureless rectangle, which grew transparent as it sides grew up and joined into a box-shape.  It hardened into glass. 

            “Shouldn’t you make him bigger?” asked Steven, the chair beside me.

            “Yes, yes.  Make me bigger,” sighed Jake, now quite happy.  The tank began to grow in size until it reached Rhodora’s hips.  “Bigger, bigger!” Jake cried.  Rhodora smiled at the bliss in his voice, and I could only marvel at how talented she was.  She had taken flesh, made it clay, brought it back to humanity, then reduced it to a glass tank.  And she was enlarging it, finally stopping when it reached her shoulders. 

            “There you go, Jake!  You’re a fish tank to be proud of!”

            Right then the door burst open.

            “Where the hell did that tank come from?” yelled Officer Scottson.