I set the razor beside my toothbrush, then rinsed my face in the sink. The cold water extinguished the embers of drowsiness, procuring a few more minutes of wakefulness. I needed sleep; I had a calculus test tomorrow. But, I needed time too.

I exhaled and stared at my face in the mirror. Other than being clean shaven, I resembled a drug dealer more than a college student. Unkempt hair hung over my ears and partway down the back of my neck, but it didn’t cover the tail end of my serpent tattoo. Red veins infiltrated the whites of my eyes, likely drawing attention away from my ‘beautiful’ brown irises. At least that’s how Tegan had described them...back when we’d dated.

That was over a year ago. We were both twenty years old. And my dad was still alive.

I swiped shaving cream from an earlobe, wiped my face with a towel, and walked into the hallway. After stopping at Lyric’s door, I listened.

Asleep.

Satisfied, I continued down the hallway, then descended the stairs, avoiding the one that creaked. I opened the front door with exaggerated slowness, determined to avoid waking her. She wasn’t a light sleeper, but she wouldn’t approve of my habit if she discovered it.

A motion-sensing light illuminated the gravelly path to my truck. Not that I needed it. I snuck out so often, I could do it blindfolded.

I lowered the tailgate, then pulled a few items from my jeans pockets: a glass pipe, a small plastic bag, and a lighter. After sitting, I filled the pipe with green bud, lit, and inhaled. The smoke filled my chest, and I held it there long enough for my lungs to absorb the THC.

Long enough for the weight on my shoulders to shift from an imaginary figment into a real entity.

People used that expression all the time: a weight on my shoulders. But for me, it became a ‘thing’, an inescapable burden, the day my father died. With marijuana, I sensed it, a cloud of liquid iron draped across my neck and back like a carriage harness. However, instead of a horse, I pulled the carriage, longing for relief and fearing the day when I’d collapse in exhaustion.

Lyric needed someone stronger than me. She needed —

I dropped my pipe at the sound of rocks grinding.

“What the fuck.” I jumped off the truck and stumbled before catching sight of a gigantic silhouette. “Alani.” I exhaled, coughing a bit. “Scared the shit out of me.”

She crouched, a veritable mountain in the moonlight. “I’m sorry, Kenji.”

“What are you doing here?” I picked up the pipe. It hadn’t broken, but the contents had spilled onto the ground. At least I’d gotten one hit out of it.

“I saw the light turn on. I…I’ll leave.” Even though she spoke in a near whisper, her apologetic tone was apparent. I’d never met another person so overwhelmingly self-deprecating, not even another Fyth.

“No. It’s alright. Have a seat. I’ve been wanting to talk to you anyway.” I returned to my perch on the tailgate. The truck vibrated, though only faintly. She handled her immense weight with incredible skill. “So how —”

Her thigh blocked the entire right side of my field of vision. “Um, this isn’t going to work. I’m talking to your leg.”

“Would you like me to pick you up?”

“Sure.”

She lowered her hand. I stepped onto the massive pad of flesh, then reclined against her fingers. She lifted me to her face, pale in the alabaster light even though she had a tan. She must’ve visited the lake today; no mud caked her features. Other than her light green hair and purple eyes, she looked like a cute human teenager. In an urban township, where college girls colored their hair as a means of self-expression, she’d fit in perfectly.

Except for her size, of course.

The combination of the marijuana and the warmth of her hand struck me like a dose of knockout gas. Something about her earthy smell calmed me, further lulling me to sleep. “Actually, just set me on the roof.”

“I don’t know if that’s —”

“Alani, I’m not going to fall. Besides, even if I did, you’d catch me.”

She hesitated, then nodded and rose. A downdraft of cool air swept my hair and my stomach lurched. Even though she likely considered her own movement to be slow, I ascended faster than a high speed elevator.

Stooping, she positioned her hand by the peak of the roof. Thankful for the gradual slope, I stepped onto it and sat, feet aiming down toward the front of the house.

I wouldn’t fall, but I’d meant what I’d said. To my knowledge, a Fyth had never harmed a human, intentional or otherwise. They had an uncanny ability to detect the presence of human life, and their bodies instinctively sought to protect humanity above all else. It was part of the reason I was so comfortable allowing Lyric to play with Alani.

When she sat this time, she pulled her legs inward, her mouth just above my head. Not ideal, but at least I wouldn’t be talking to her leg. 

“So Alani.” I didn’t speak loud. She could hear and see much better than me, or any other human. “How have your first two days been?”

***

“Wonderful.”

I couldn’t believe it. Kenji wanted to talk to me, alone, at night. I shouldn’t have snuck up on him, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting with him right now.

Still, I wished he’d let me hold him. Many humans preferred face to face communication, the palm of a Fyth being the most convenient mechanism to allow it. On the roof, he could fall. To reduce the risk, my legs brushed the house, knees slightly under the roof. If he fell off the side, he’d land on me, and if he tumbled down the front, I’d catch him.

“Really?” he asked. “What do you like about working here?”

“I like you and Lyric and Carl. And I like the work.” I spoke as softly as possible. Lyric slept and Kenji wasn’t far from my mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t see how you like Carl. That man’s an asshole.”

“I don’t know. I just do.” I smiled remembering how Carl called me sweet cheeks.

“You’re too nice. All Fyth are obedient, but you...you’re —” He turned from his stargazing to look at me, but didn’t finish his sentence.

“Kenji?”

“Thank you for spending time with Lyric.” He looked down at his pipe. “Don’t tell her you saw me smoking, ok?”

“I won’t. And I like spending time with her. She’s my best friend, even more than Carl. I love her.” Warm butterflies danced in my stomach. I couldn’t wait for the weekend to arrive. “She’s teaching me how to read.”

“That’s good.” He leaned back on his elbows, and his gazes shifted upward. “That’s really good.” His voice sounded distant.

“Kenji, is something wrong?”

He sighed. “She’s had a tough life, that kid. Our mother died giving birth to her, and our father died of a heart attack last year. What she needs is a parent, and all she has is me. I’m not even a good brother, much less a parent. I’m just glad she’s got you now as a friend.”

“Why aren’t you a good brother?” I believed humans, but sometimes their words reflected the opposite of reality. He might as well have said the moon wasn’t in the sky.

“I’m nothing like my dad. He was a rock. He never complained and fixed problems before we even knew they existed. I can barely keep the farm from going bankrupt, and I have no idea how to raise a child, much less a girl. She’s my sister, but she’s going to hate me when she gets older and sees how useless I am.”

I couldn’t help but smile. So much of what he said mirrored my own feelings. “Kenji, I think you’re doing a great job. I feel useless every day, but when you praise me after work, it lifts something inside me and I want to roll in the grass like the horses.”

He chuckled. “You’re more humble than the average Fyth, though why, I have no idea. You can do the work of dozens of men. You never complain. You ask for nothing in return but food. And you’re the most cheerful, friendly, self-sacrificing person I know. That’s not praise; that’s just who you are.”

Thankfully humans couldn’t see well in the dark, because my face was as hot as the sun. “Kenji, you make me so happy.” I leaned over and kissed him on the shoulder, just a quick peck before I realized my mistake. “I — I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Where did you learn to do that?” He looked at me, smiling.

Maybe he wasn’t mad at me. “I’ve seen humans kiss, but I’ve always wondered why.”

“Really? Well, now do you know why?”

The kiss was unlike holding him in my hand. Somehow, I felt more vulnerable, but I couldn’t explain it. “No. Will you tell me?”

He laughed. “Maybe another night. It’s late and I need to get some sleep.”

“Ok.” I allowed him to board my hand and set him at my feet. Before he disembarked, he leaned over and kissed the tip of my forefinger. It was as if I’d touched live current, and it required every ounce of my willpower to resist the shock that threatened to jerk my hand.

“Goodnight, Alani.” He stepped off and waved without turning around. “Thanks for indulging my pity party tonight. You’ve inspired me, and I appreciate it.”

After he shut the front door, I sat there, unmoving, for quite a while. I longed for him to come back out. But why? I wanted to see Lyric too, but with Kenji, the feeling was different.

It was as if some part of myself had walked away, and I needed to be as close to him as possible. I liked the new feeling, except for the conflicting sense of...incompleteness.

Did the kiss cause it? I didn’t know, but I knew one thing for sure.

From this day forward, I’d clean my hands every day after work.

***

Time passed quickly. Carl and I worked the farm, usually without speaking. Lyric played with me afterwards and started teaching me how to read. Kenji didn’t come out much, but that didn't stop me from thinking about him.

He did participate in a couple of the games Lyric and I played. Even though hide and seek wasn’t my favorite, when he found me hiding in a copse of white oaks, I’d never been happier to lose. Hearing his laughter as he touched my ankle made me forget my annoyance at the small size of the trees.

Monday beckoned the return of the weekday routine, a routine that I’d come to enjoy.

On Tuesday I experienced hunger, but it wasn’t until Wednesday that my stomach first rumbled. I’d just finished carrying bags of feed from Carl’s truck to the barn. The growl was so loud, he heard it while sitting inside his vehicle.

He rolled down the window. “You best get somethin’ to eat, sweet cheeks. I recommend you make do with the fake stuff. Wouldn’t want Kenji to get suspicious, now would we?”

“Ok.” I reached inside the barn and withdrew the container of fake Rouean. “What’s in it?”

“Water and food coloring. It ain’t gonna hurt ya. Dump it on the ground fer all I care, and go eat some trees or somethin’.”

I opened the top and drank the liquid, hoping that it would provide at least some sustenance. Unfortunately, it tasted like stale water and did nothing to satiate my hunger.

“Alright, I’m outta here.” He slapped the door of his truck and peeled out, spraying tiny rocks at my leg. I’d have to ask him to accelerate more slowly, especially since injuries exacerbated my hunger. When famished, I stopped healing altogether, and I was approaching that point.

I headed to the lake, intent on washing myself before Kenji returned. On the way, I stopped at a dead oak tree, roughly half my height. He wouldn’t mind if I ate a dead tree, would he? Probably not.

Within a few minutes, I’d uprooted the tree and devoured the entire thing. The hollow oak presented little resistance to my teeth — branches, bark, and cambium masticated and consumed without pause.

A Fyth could eat its on body weight in vegetation every two hours, a frightening sight to humans. If not for Rouean, my species would eat non stop, consuming all plant life before it could regrow. Discovery of this fact had occurred on the first planet Fyth had been allowed to inhabit. A barren wasteland now, the planet served as a graveyard to the Fyth that died of starvation.

And it served as a warning to Fyth who elected not to seek Rouean.

With the growling in my stomach quelled, I washed off in the lake and returned to my spot in the pasture. I always sat in the same place behind the house, ensuring that I killed as little grass as possible.

Kenji would arrive soon. He’d been busy lately, but maybe he’d greet me today.

Then, Lyric would show up. She’d definitely play with me. We needed to read chapter seven of Charlotte’s Web.

I could hardly wait for them to arrive. But I also worried. Because even though my stomach wasn’t rumbling at the moment, my hunger pangs weren’t diminishing. Once, they’d intensified to the point where I’d cried until Branford fed me.

I didn’t want to cry in front of Lyric or Kenji because of this. I needed to be strong.

But I was so hungry.