"You said you'd tell me what's going on here when you got out, and it looks like you're out now, so start talking!" Blake demanded, doing his best to keep pace with Sarah as she tried to leave him behind.
"We are not done with this mission, sir. If you don't allow me to continue my duty I will have no choice but to recognize you as an Obstruction of Kaigiantess Justice and--"
"See, what the hell does that mean? Kaigiantess Justice? What's a Kaigiantess?"
Sarah spun on her heels, startling Blake. She whipped off her shades and pierced him through with her amber eyes.
"Fine, listen quick and listen good. A Kaigiantess is a diverse classification of what comes to be when females of various species are expanded to new heights. I am part of the EDF, which stands for Earth Defense Force, which was created specifically to defend the world from Kaigiantess attacks."
"Why just females? It's impossible to have male Kaigiantess?"
"We believe that the Y chromosome may be a hindering factor in the Kaigiantess growth stage, but it has not been confirmed yet."
"Different species? You mean there's Kaigiantess animals?"
"I can't tell you that," Sarah decided, turning around.
"You've already told me so much!"
"I don't care."
"If you're defending the Earth, don't we deserve to know what we're being defended from exactly?" Sarah snapped and turned again, holding up her arms as if restraining herself from strangling Blake. With a sigh they dropped to her sides.
"No, they're not animals," she said, turning again. "Now leave us alone or Barkley will have to intervene."
"Oh, please, keep bugging her," Barkley said, meaning every word of it. Blake got the hint and backed off. Sarah shook her head and returned to the task at hand. Catching Kaigiantess was difficult; truthfully the EDF had never done it before. They disappeared as instantly and momentously as they appeared.
"EXACTLY WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" Donohue screamed out at the man who had arranged for a private meeting with him; apparently excluding the female associate at his side.
"Now I know this is bad..."
"BAD?! THAT THING DAMAGED NEW YORK CITY PROPERTY! IT SMASHED OPEN BUILDINGS! WE HAVEN'T EVEN CALCULATED THE LIFE LOSS... AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS BAD?!"
"Mr. Donohue, please, I'm not trying to belittle what's happened today. I'm just trying to ease your tensions and let you know that work is being done to resolve the issue. Let me start from the beginning. My name is Mr. Carson, and I'm the head of the Earth Defense Force. That thing you saw today is what we refer to as a Kaigiantess, which is a giant-sized female lifeform. It has only somewhat recently become recognized as a classification, and the EDF is built on the grounds of protecting the world from them."
Donohue had trouble fully grasping what Mr. Carson was telling him, but the pictures don't lie about giant women.
"We suspect this new Kaigiantess, given the codename 'Goddesszilla', is using the Hudson river as a means of escape from the city. Our troops are beginning a plan now to flush her out with a submarine run. As long as New York City is kept under strict lockdown for a day or two, we'll get the Kaigiantess off of your hands in no time."
"I hope, then, that you have a plan for if something like this happens again?" Donohue asked, sweating and deflating like a balloon. "If Kaigiantess are so recent as you say, there's probably more, right?"
"We're not sure how many Kaigiantess are out there this moment, but we do have a plan. In fact, you're looking at her." He directed his hands to his female associate, chugging the final sips of her can of orange soda.
She burped loudly and tossed the crinkled can towards the garbage, missing by a wide margin. Donahue saw her more clearly now: her brown hair was tied short and she was wearing some sort of full-body jumpsuit, covered entirely in leopard print.
"Excuse me," she said, pounding her chest. "Really hits the spot, though. Nice to meet ya, name's Jen. Jen Jaguar," she said, extending her hand. Donahue slowly took it.
"Jen Jaguar?"
"Well that's not really my last name, but it sounds cool, huh? This outfit works perfectly for it, too."
"And how exactly are you the plan to stop Kaigiantess?"
"She's part of it," Mr. Carson intervened. Jen nodded, stifling another burp.
"I'm a Kaigiantess," she said matter-of-factly, watching Donahue's face deform into confusion.
"But... you're not giant... how can..."
"Jen here has a remarkable ability; she can change her size at will. She can grow as large as Goddesszilla... or even larger, if she needed to. With Jen at our side, we have the perfect weapon."
"I prefer the term 'ass-kicker'," Jen shrugged with a grin.
"Wouldn't she be as much of a problem as Goddess-whatever? She'd still cause destruction, she'd still end up causing unneeded deaths!"
"I'm specially trained for fighting in city environments. I know how to not smash buildings and squish people when I'm fighting. EDF's gotta great simulator, should try it sometime."
"How many Kaigiantess have you beaten?" Donahue asked, crossing his arms.
"None yet, but I've had some practice."
"This is insane. This can't possibly work."
"Jen's not fighting yet," Mr. Carson assured him, much to Jen's disappointment. "But we do have her when we need it. This is not a call to action, Mr. Donahue, this is a ressassurance."
"I'm not too reassured," he said warily.
"You will be," Mr. Carson said, leaving him. Jen Jaguar followed after him, giving Donahue a wink and clicking her tongue as she left the secretive room.