The stove beeped loudly indicating that Jessica’s lasagna casserole had finished baking. She knew her two childhood friends were lasagna fanatics so she figured that would be the least she could do considering the favor she was about to ask of them. Jessica and Kaylee enjoyed each other’s company as they cooked, while Drake and Ricky told each other of their own adventures, or nightmares.

“Uh.. Jess, you only cooked that steak for like, two minutes on each side. Are you sure it’s safe to eat?”

Jessica chuckled, “It’s for Shusha. She doesn’t eat pasta at all, but she does eat meat. A lot of meat. She also prefers it cooked medium rare, but more so on the rare side.”

Kaylee visibly cringed at the thought of eating an almost raw steak. She has been hesitant to eat any form of meat after her little hiccup two years ago when someone didn’t cook her burger all the way through. Stomach viruses aren’t fun.  

Chuckling at Kaylee’s disgust, she was about to motion to head back upstairs to retrieve Drake and Ricky when she heard a knocking at the door.

“Ah, that must be some of our guests now!”

Answering the door, she saw a figure completely covered in rags, with dirt smeared all over them. Looking down, she noticed the shoes were ripped open at the toes, exposing a bare foot, indicating lack of socks. She could only see the man’s eyes as his face was covered completely with a scarf and other rags.

“Excuse me missus,” the man said in an old, frail English accent, “could you spare a few monies or maybe even a bit of ye food? I have been starving all mornin, and I have searched all about the place.”

Kaylee was taken aback, and slowly slid behind Jessica since she didn’t know what to do in this situation. Rarely do you ever hear of a homeless man approaching doors.

Jessica just smiled and shook her head.

“Tom, you crazy buffoon, get your real clothes on and come eat some of my lasagna. You always have to be so dramatic when you’re hungry don’t you?”

Slipping off the rags from his face, he spoke in his normal American accent.

“How’d you know it was me? That homeless act was tip top if I say so myself.”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself. It was tip top, but I recognize those eyes anywhere. You forget I’ve known you since we were old enough to form rational thought. And since you first started trying to wear your mother’s clothes.”

Glancing over at Kaylee, Tom blushed a bit before replying.

“Ehhh we aren’t going to talk about that. Those days are long gone and I have moved on to bigger and better things!”

“Like a hobo?”

“Well. I had to make a first impression. I was told you would have friends over to which the likes I have not seen before.”

Tom reached over the side of the house and grabbed a duffle bag before walking into Jessica’s house.

“Tom, I already told them you were a great con artist. I did most of your work for you. I’ll give you all a full briefing when everyone arrives, but in the meantime, just focus on making a good impression when that time comes.”

Bowing down to Jessica, he spoke in a proper English accent, “Yes m’lady.”

Kaylee chuckled at the altercation between the two. It was evident that they were good friends to one another. It reminded her of how close she was to her brother.

“I’ll be back,” Tom said in a perfect Arnold accent as he went into the bathroom with his duffel bag.

“Yes, I know what you’re thinking Kaylee. ‘Did this guy just come fulling dressed as a homeless man, and drag a duffel bag here to change into clothes afterwards just to prove a point?’ The answer would be yes. Yes, he did.  That’s Tom for you.”

“I’d say that’s dedication to your work wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh, I would say that. But that’s not his job. If he could have a job as a professional undercover agent he would. Which is why I know he will accept my proposal.”

“Well, you can tell you guys have known each other for a while. It’s actually really soothing to be around in that environment.”

“Well thank you! We have all been fortunate to have each other. It’s rare to find friends like that these days.”

“I know what you mean. I’ve been close with my brother, but that’s about it. We basically became each other’s best friends.”

“Trust me, you’ll thank your brother for that later. He may be your best friend, but he really is just looking out for you.”

“Oh I know. He knows I don’t have many friends, and the one bitch a was friends with basically tried employing him as a human sex toy for life. That’s not even counting how her mother treated him after he went to her for help. Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Of course, Ricky told me some pretty crazy shit about mine and Jennifer’s mom having an affair together. Ricky was the first. The first shrunken man either of them have seen. My mom still doesn’t know about Drake yet. It’s a giant clusterfuck, and the goal is to get both Drake and Ricky fixed before my mom realizes Drake has been gone too long, and before either of them get discovered by someone else that isn’t interested in anything but their libido.”

Jessica started stuttering a bit, given how her and Drake’s interactions were like last night.

“I.. I… That’s surprising about your mother, but I suppose maybe it’s normal for women to look to their libido a little bit. Just as long as they know what’s really important.”

“What.. why are you sayi….. Oh God. Don’t tell me you and Drake?!”

“Uh.. Sh.. Shhhh.. Kayle, it’s alright. Yes, me and Drake had intimate relations. Actually, last night. But what’s important is that I am not prioritizing my libido over his own well-being. I am just as concerned with getting him back to normal as you are. He is in good hands, I assure you.”

“Well, you did call me as soon as you found him. And you did take him away from that bitch Jennifer. I know where he is, and I know he is safe. Whatever happened in your bedroom is totally none of my business.”

“Oh good. I was hoping I wasn’t going to have to tell you how great Drake is and finding my….”

“Jessica no!! That’s not okay!!!”

Jessica and Kaylee both broke out laughing at Jessica’s tease. At that moment, Tom arrived back from the bathroom in his normal jeans, and of course, Tom Petty T-shirt.

“Oh that’s rich,” Kaylee said as she tilted her head towards Tom.

“You have no idea chick,” Jessica responded.

Tom walked, or more like strutted, over to the counter before plopping down on a stool.

“So what’s for dinner, I’m starving!”

Jessica responded, “Not yet Tom. We have to wait fo….”

DING DONG

“Ah. That’s Joe,” Jessica said as she started walking over to the door.

“Ho… How do you know that,” Kaylee asked.

“Joe always rings the doorbell rather than knocking. He says it’s more polite and professional.”

Opening the door, a somewhat tall, lanky figure was standing there. Upon walking forward, Kaylee could make out that he had glasses, but his most notable feature was that he was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, and she could swear she could see the Ring of Power from Lord of the Rings hanging around his neck. She almost immediately fell in Love. THIS was someone she could have a conversation with she felt. She quickly skimmed down, and noticed he also had some Converse shoes decorated with Marvel comics. She wasn’t as much of a fan of superhero comics, but Sci-Fi and Fantasy? That was her child.

“Greetings Jessica,” Joe said as he did a short bow.

“Come on in ya nerd.”

Joe complied and noticed Tom sitting at the counter.

“Hell Tom, it’s been a while. Still doing your class acts?”

Tom responded in a New Jersey accent with, “What, you talkin to me? There aint anyone else here, so you must be talkin to me?”

Joe just chuckled. It’s always good to get the band back together. He glanced over at Kaylee and noticed she was wearing her R2D2 dress and immediately began walking towards her. He was a nerd at heart, but certainly not shy.

He spoke in the ancient elven language, Quenya, from Lord of the Rings.

His words translate to, “My dear, if there were ever such a perfect outfit, it would yours. And made only for you.”

Kaylee had to suppress herself from geeking out, but she had to come up with clever a reply, so she also replied in the elven tongue with, “It’s only missing the perfect ring.”

Jessica’s mouth hung wide open. Joe’s weird advances to women have NEVER worked. But this is the first time a girl responded in the same language. Joe himself was taken aback not only at Kaylee’s knowledge of the Elven language. But also with her reply. Was she implying a wedding ring?

Joe, not breaking eye contact, simply reached forward, grabbed Kaylee’s hand, and kissed it before nodding to her and walking towards the counter. Kaylee almost had to head to the bathroom just to cool off from that encounter. Her heart was about to rip itself out of her chest with how fast it was beating.

“What the fuck just happened,” Kaylee asked herself.

She was about to go back to Jessica’s room to check on Ricky and Drake while the gang conversed in the kitchen. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard an extremely loud banging at the door. Looking back, she noticed that Jessica, Tom, and Joe all paused and just stared into the direction of the door. Kaylee was getting a bit nervous at the unsure look on Jessica’s face.