Alex sat on his bucket, petting a stray white cat sitting in his lap. He had changed out of his hobo outfit and donned that of a notorious villain, dressed in all black, with a hood over his eyes and a pirate hook for one hand. “2:39… They’re late, my precious…”

The cat meowed.

Suddenly, there came a knocking thrice on the door and then the cawing of some wannabe owl.

“The door’s unlocked.”

It slowly opened and Cordelia appeared in the doorway, obviously cautious about entering as she lingered back. “You…weren’t kidding about living in the janitor’s closet.”

“I never kid.”

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. Alex had his back to her and had no attempt to greet her with a handshake or friendly wave or even an exchange of glances. He just sat there, stroking the cat, his face darkened by the faint shadows on the wall. “Who are you supposed to be? The Claw?”

“Just one of the many guises I must conceal myself with in order to survive in this world of incessant conspiracies against humanity.” He stroked the cat again, but this time with the wrong hand. The cat felt Alex’s sharp hook dig into his back and, yellow eyes doubling in size, let out a terrible screech. Alex was too slow to respond. Recoiling, the cat burrowed his claws into Alex’s thigh and then quickly jumped down, scampering across the floor, diving between Cordelia’s legs, and flying out the open doorway.

Cordelia shut the door. “What did you find out?”

Alex stood up and lowered his hood. “I think the government is behind this.”

“You would.”

“No, really. Where’s Andy?”

“Right here, shit for eyes,” Andy waved from Cordelia’s shoulder.

“Good, they haven’t come for him yet.”

“What are you talking about?” Cordelia asked.

Alex stepped over to the door and pulled down the third layer of blinds over the glass window. “I sent your friend Liz on a mission to infiltrate the Crystal Light plant north of here. You know the one?”

“Yes.”

“Well, she went there and found the whole place barricaded off and swarming with police officers. If I’m right, those crystallites in your artificial lemonade belonged to some kind of government experiment that got mixed up. Crystal Light, crystallites—an honest mistake, really, and an easy one for the idiots running our government to make. Now they’re trying to cover up their trail by disposing of the evidence.”

Cordelia stared at him. “…You sent my best friend to spy on what you suspected was an underground government project? Are you insane!?” She stared at him, dressed up in his half-pirate, half-villain ensemble. “…Don’t bother answering that. I shouldn’t have bothered to ask.”

“I’m not the one carrying a two-inch tall jock on my shoulder,” Alex replied.

“Just tell me that Liz is alright…”

“She should be fine. Of course, I haven’t talked to her since 2:39…”

“Call her up.”

“No. You never call a field agent while she’s on duty. It could ruin her cover.”

“Whatever,” Cordelia said, reaching into her handbag. She pulled out her cell phone, flipped it open, and put it to her ear. “Call Liz.”

She waited. Andy stared at the bead bracelet jingling from her wrist.

“No, I don’t want to ‘call Ruby’!” She snapped the phone closed and opened it again. “Call…Liz.”

Andy reached for one of the beads.

“Yeah, because ‘Cassie’ sounds so much like ‘Liz’,” Cordelia sighed, closing the phone again. She tried one more time. “Call Liz, you damn voice-activated hunk of junk.” This time it worked.

Andy managed to grab hold of one of the beads and yanked down on it, stretching the fiber thread as he pulled it further and further away from her wrist.

The other line picked up. “Hi, this is Liz! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m a top secret mission for my Alex! Leave your name and number and if you sound sexy enough, I just might call you back! …Oh, and if this is Daddy, you have the wrong number. ‘Kay, bye!”

“You know,” Cordelia said into the phone, “they have recording machines to do that for you, Liz.”

“They do?” said the voice on the other line.

“Yeah, you don’t need to answer your phone to tell the person calling that you’re busy.”

“Oh, God, give me that!” Alex cried, snatching the pink cell phone away from her. “Liz, you twit! What did you find out?”

Unfortunately for Andy, the jolt in Cordelia’s wrist from losing hold of the cell phone caused her arm to jerk upwards, tightening the thread of the bracelet a little too far for Andy to maintain balance. Like a rubber band fully stretched, the beads were flung back towards her arm at an alarming rate, carrying Andy with them, and slammed into her skin. She cried out at this sudden shock, rubbing her wrist. She had no idea Andy’s body was pinned against her by the constricting beads, but he sure did. And he would’ve let her know too, either by screaming or crying out from the massive pain he felt in his chest, if only the bracelet would have the mercy of letting go of his lungs. But it didn’t and he was left hanging there with the only thing keeping him from a two hundred foot fall was the thing cutting off his air supply. He wondered which would be the worse way to go.

“Alex!” Liz squealed over the phone, her voice deafeningly audible through the whole closet. “You were almost right about the chrysanthemums.”

“Crystallites.”

“Yeah, remember how you thought God put them in the Crystal Light?”

“I said our government, but I can see how you can mix the two up. They both are false facades who, through their hypocritical speeches and actions, run the masses of this country who are too blind to see the truth.”

“As a side note to the reader,” Cordelia whispered, “none of the rest of us support Alex’s opinions of the government and/or religion. His bitter, paranoid, and agnostic views are only part of his character and should not, and do not, reflect upon us or the author.”

“Who are you talking to?” Alex asked. “And Liz, what do you mean I was ‘almost’ right?”

“Well,” Liz said, “it turns out that aliens put the crystallites there!”

“That was my second guess!” he exclaimed. “Did you see the aliens, Liz? Did you communicate with them?”

“No… I only saw the hole they left in the roof of the Crystal Light plant.”

“Of course… Where their spacecraft landed!” He was ecstatic now, pacing around his bucket in circles. “Liz, did the cops tell you anything? Did you get any evidence?”

“I got better than that! I got proof.”

“Liz, you’re amazing! I’m sorry for ever questioning your very existence on this Earth!” He paused for a second to reflect on his excitement. “Aliens… First contact… And these crystallites are only the beginning… Liz! When can I see this proof?”

“You can see it now. I’m parked out back of the school.”

“Let’s go!” Alex claimed, grabbing Cordelia’s hand and rushing out the door. Neither of them knew Andy was still choking to death under Cordelia’s bracelet.