Cordelia and Alex burst out the metal back doors of the school, running down the steps. Alex still had a tight grip on Cordelia’s wrist, which really didn’t give her much of a choice but to trail behind him, though when he soon came to a halt, the two of them almost collided.
They were standing there, looking up at a giant semi with the words ‘Government Property’ painted on the side in letters as big as a house. Liz, behind the wheel of the semi, waved down at them as she continued to back up the semi, crushing a silver BMW under the back tire and knocking over about four large dumpsters.
“…We are so screwed,” is all that Alex could say.
Cordelia covered her mouth.
“Agent Cheer reporting!” Liz said, leaving the key in the ignition and jumping down about ten feet from the semi door to hard concrete. “Did somebody order forty thousand cases of Crystal Light?”
Alex stared at her, his jaw unable to close.
Liz cocked her head at him and looked to Cordelia for help. “What’s wrong with Freak Boy?”
But Cordelia was just as traumatized. “You…stole…a forty-ton semi…that’s government property…and drove it here…”
“Oh, psh! When you’re rich, you don’t steal anything; you sensibly acquire it. Or at least that’s what Daddy calls it.”
“You…stupid bitch…” Alex managed to sputter, holding his trembling hands on either side of Liz’s neck as if he was going to strangle her. “How did a retard like you ever make it to high school!? How is it your parents even keep you alive, knowing you’ll squelch your family’s whole fortune and reputation the very day you inherit it? You…you… I can’t even think of a name for you. Your very self-being deserves a whole new word in the dictionary because I don’t feel there is one apt to accurately describe you.”
Liz just blinked at him, squishing the watery eyes underneath her sunglasses.
“Look at this!” he exclaimed, waving his wild hands over to the semi. “Can your tiny brain not comprehend the meaning of those two words!? ‘Government Property!’ Prosecutors shall be executed. It’s bad enough the government already wants me dead, but now you have to go and give them a perfect reason to snipe me out on the spot! Somehow, you’ve managed to leave them the most obvious trail of breadcrumbs you possibly could. Tell me, Liz, because I marvel at your downright idiocy—how the hell could one person possibly contain all the stupidity that you so explicitly flaunt? If you had common sense, I’d bring it in for interrogation and sentence it to death.”
Liz took off her sunglasses, revealing tears streaming down her cheeks, but Alex either didn’t notice or care.
“I bet aliens didn’t even leave the crystallites in the powder! The cops probably told you it was caused by a meteor from outer space and you, with your D- average in science, think ‘meteors’ are a breed of extraterrestrials that zip around in spaceships. I don’t even want to know—no, I don’t even care how you possibly managed to ‘sensibly acquire’ this semi. I just want out. I’m going to have to move to another town and change my name once again. Thanks a lot, Liz.”
“I was just trying to help,” she whispered.
“There is no help you could possibly give or get. You are helpless beyond all reason and doubt. Let me guess—you probably killed all the cops and stuffed their bodies in the back of the semi. Am I right?”
Liz didn’t answer, so Alex sidestepped her, trotted over to the semi, snatched the keys out of the ignition, and unhitched the back of the semi. He pulled it down, crushing what remained of the silver BMW, and nearly collapsed in awe at the hundreds of barrels stacked one on top the other and the endless rows of boxes of Crystal Light that filled the inside of the trailer. The sweet, sugary aroma of lemons filled his nostrils, the intense color blinded him for a moment, and he found himself stumbling back into a fallen dumpster.
He swallowed hard. “Is this…everything?”
Liz nodded slowly.
“Do you have any idea what we have here?”
“…A semi full of shrinking powder?”
Tears flooded Alex’s eyes. “This would be such a beautiful day if I wasn’t going to die at the end of it.”
“I won’t let the government hurt you, Alex…”
“You!?” he exclaimed. “It’s you, Liz, who they are going to snipe out first! You’re the one who hijacked their semi! The ‘how’ of which will puzzle me to the end of time… But even so, this is something Daddy’s little fortune can’t save you from! At least there is some justice in this world.”
“You don’t have to be such an ass!” Cordelia snapped, suddenly shaking herself from her frozen state. “Liz did what you asked her to do, didn’t she? It’s your fault for not specifying whether or not she should steal the plant’s entire cargo of Crystal Light, load it into a private semi owned by the government, and drive it twenty miles to a public high school.”
“And to think,” Alex said bitterly, “I was under the impression that was a given. But I guess to our mindless friend there, everything is fair game in love and stupidity.”
“That’s it!” Liz stomped her foot. “You…you’re such a jerk, Alex! I’m sorry for ever loving you!”
“I’m sorry you did too.”
She glared at him, clenching her fists next to the vibrant red of her mini-skirt. “If the government doesn’t kill you, I will! I’m going to make you pay for all the tears I’ve cried because of you. You’re going to regret the very moment we met four hours ago. I’ll see to it!”
“I already do,” Alex muttered as she turned her back to him and stormed towards the back doors of the school, slamming into them because she thought they were push, not pull.
“You didn’t have to be so mean,” Cordelia sighed as Alex climbed into the back of the semi.
“She’s going to get us all killed. If I were you, I’d take your little—and I mean that in the most literal sense—boyfriend and get out of here before the feds show up.”
Cordelia blinked, patting her empty shoulder. “Andy… Where’s Andy!?”