Five minutes later…

“You done screaming yet?” Andy sighed, uncomfortably nestled within the tightening bonds of her shoelaces. “I could really use some help here.”

Cordelia looked down at him with the slight recoil of her cry still caught in the back of her throat as she leaned forward. “How… That’s really not a funny trick to play on me, you know.”

“Trick!? You think this is a ‘trick’? I don’t know what your idea of a trick is, but mine certainly doesn’t involve shrinking myself down to two inches and almost getting squashed by you!”

“You’re not two inches.”

“Well, excuse me for not having time to find a freakin’ tape measure! I’ve been a little busy trying to stay alive.”

“No,” she said, flicking his head with her index finger, “I know you have some sort of voice recorder in there. Your little toy doesn’t fool for me for a second. Where are you really at?”

“I’m right here!” he shouted, thrashing his arms.

Cordelia frowned. “This isn’t funny, Andy. Where are you, really?”

“Cordelia, I’m not a toy! This is really me. Somehow I ended up—”

“Shut up!” she cried, untying the shoelaces and watching the ‘toy’ Andy fall on his back onto the kitchen tile. She rose, lifting the toe end of her shoe, and pivoted it over his body. “You have three seconds to tell me where you are or I’m breaking your little toy. I don’t care how much it costs you.”

“For the last time, Cordelia, this is really me! Take a look!”

“Not falling for it. One.”

Her foot lowered slightly and Andy stared up at the black, indented wall above him. It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight, speckled in dirt and dry mud and a chewed wad of whitish-pink gum jammed into the cavity in her treads. Andy tried to position himself so that, if she did put her foot down, he’d only end up caught in the hollow crater of her shoes, but he was a big guy. He would never fit. Running away wasn’t an option, as her foot was too low for him to do anything more than crawl away on his hands and knees and he couldn’t even do that; her sneakers were already pressed against his legs. He looked up to see his world turning black.

“Two,” he heard Cordelia’s voice bellow from above.

“Well, damn,” Andy thought, “I ain’t going out like this. Not like a bug.” Then he inhaled, Cordelia’s hard sneaker compressing his chest into the kitchen tiles, and mustered out in the loudest shout he could, “Okay, okay! Don’t break my toy.”

“Where are you?” she demanded, her foot still squashing the life out of Andy.

“In…the bathroom.”

Her foot lifted away, and Andy almost got out a sigh of relief before her other foot came down on him—not hard and not straight down, but across, like a kick, sending him spiraling across the floor and into the wall. Obviously Cordelia didn’t want to break the ‘toy’, but she didn’t mind giving it a swift boot for the embarrassment Andy had caused her. Little did she know, the embarrassment was on him.

He watched her disappear down the hallway, probably going to check in the bathroom, and realized he should’ve told her he was in some place a little further away. The bathroom was only two rooms down. It would only be a matter of seconds before she returned to the kitchen, very upset that the ‘toy’ had lied. And he knew who—or rather, to her, what—was going to receive the blunt of her anger. He’d have to somehow prove to her that he was real, not the toy she thought he was, lest he end up like that poor wad of gum under her sneaker.

“This would probably be a good time to come up with another brilliant idea,” Andy muttered to himself, racking that football-sized brain of his. He looked down at his black and white colored jersey, complete with his person number ‘00’ on the front and back. That’s what he felt like now. A double zero. He could show Cordelia the jersey, but there’s no way she’d believe it was really his; after all, how hard could it be to make a replica jersey for a doll? No, he’d have to find something that on his person that couldn’t be duplicated, that had to be his.

That’s when he saw his class ring—or, rather, Cordelia’s class ring. Both he and Cordelia had bought a class ring over the summer, but they decided to exchange them during class today as a sort of engagement present. Now, this could be his only chance for a happy ending.

Before he had time to take off the ring, Cordelia appeared back in the kitchen, angrily looking left and right for any trace of Andy. All she saw was the toy doll on the floor. She walked over to him slowly, scowling at the image that reminded her so much of her boyfriend.

“I’m tired of your tricks, Andy,” she said dryly. “I have half a mind to give you your ring back.”

“Wait,” Andy said, rising. Cordelia jumped back a little, astonished that the toy was really so lifelike. How did Andy ever afford something like this? “Before you do, I want you to look at this.” He slipped the ring off his ringer and held it up.

A little nervously, and ever so curious, Cordelia lowered herself down on one knee, her bare skin from the hole in her jeans touching the icy kitchen floor, and pinched the tiny object between her fingertips.

“What is this?” she asked, spinning the ring delicately around in her fingertips. It was only the size of a small button to her, and yet it looked so utterly familiar.

“It’s your class ring. I...don’t think it’ll fit you anymore.”

Cordelia’s eyes shot wide open when she realized, at the same time that he said it, that thing was really her ring. She turned it over and found herself staring at the miniscule jade green stone, complete with fake diamond trim and the gold band with small—now unreadable to her—scrawling across the side. Slowly her eyes drifted over to Andy.

“You…” was all that escaped her lips.

“…Are really, really small,” he finished. He looked up at her. She was breathless. “You’re going to scream again, aren’t you?”

“…I think so.”