Ingrid was on edge as she walked upstairs. She only entered inside for a drink of water before being approached by Gail expressing worry for Tanner after Ivory came downstairs for him several moments ago and hasn’t seen him since.

Hopes that Gail’s concern was groundless shattered when the first thing Ingrid saw in Ivory’s room was a Tanner on his knees near the shambles of his house.

“Oh jeez…”

Ingrid approached closer and kneeled down next to him and he didn’t respond. Also worrying was that her assumption could be wrong. Initial thought led her to believe the house suffered an unfortunate fall, but now up close the extent of damage looked too great to be accidental.

“Little bro, are you alright?”

While Ingrid waited for her dejected brother to respond the bathroom door opened. Ivory stepped out wiping her puffy red eyes and the two locked eyes. The dots were aligning for Ingrid and a disheartening picture was unraveling. Standing to her feet she pointed down to the wreckage. “What happened?”

Ivory looked down to the remains of her destructive impulse and ignored the question. Each passing second of silence made Ingrid’s suspicions grimmer and left her to assume the worst.

“Don’t tell me you did this on purpose.”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Ivory barked.

“Didn’t have a choice, what does that even mean!?”

“He wanted- he wanted to go- to go outside!” Ivory stammered.

“So, you just crush his house to make a point!?” Ingrid snapped.

“Shut up…” Ivory murmured.

“You knew what his house meant to him!” Ingrid continued

“Shut up.” Ivory repeated.

“You know it made him feel nor-” Ingrid didn’t finish before being cut off.

 “Shut up, shut up, shut up! I swear, you’re the worst influence on him!” Ivory exclaimed.

“Excuse me?!”

“All you do is fill his head with these stupid ideas that he’s normal, that he’s still the same, that he can be like the rest of us! He isn’t! He’s small, he’s tiny, he’s weak, he can be stepped on, sat on, crushed, eaten, kidnapped, picked on! If it were left to careless people like you, he’d be dead!”  Ivory panted after her tirade. “I had to show him… how dangerous it is.”

“And now what, you’re just going to smother him here for the rest of his life!?” Ingrid rebuked.

“I-…” Ivory drew a blank like for a brief instance she realized the absurdity in locking Tanner away from the world, but she refused to relent and doubled down. “Then so be it. I don’t care if I have to crush his house or trample his dreams.” She overlapped both hands over her chest. “I’ll keep him here for as long as he lives whether he wants to or not. I’ll be his world.”

Ingrid was floored, unable to even begin making sense of the absurdity she heard.  “You’re out of your mind.”

“Enough!” Ivory snapped again. “I’m done explaining myself!”

“Good, because I’m done listening to your batshit excuses for controlling him!”

“I’m not going to tolerate any more of your backtalk either, this is no way to talk to your mother!” Ivory added.

“Spare me the mother shit! Maybe I’d actually call you Mom if you ever acted like one!” Ingrid retaliated.

Both their faces were painted hues of red at the apexes of their anger, Ivory in particular seething after the vicious remark from her daughter. What does she know? She wasn’t owed an answer and had no right to judge her.

“You fucking cunt… Get out.” She spat.

Ingrid went quiet. Their relationship was complicated and strained, but even so Ivory was still her Mom and it took all her fortitude to prevent from breaking into tears.

“Get out, get out, GET OUT!” Ivory shouted. “I’m not going to let you treat me like the bad guy! You’re the one who dropped him! You’re the one who almost killed him! You don’t care about him! All I need is Tanner, we don’t need you!”

Ingrid was still bewildered and couldn’t make any sense out of this facet of her mother she was witnessing. “You need help. I’m not leaving him with you.”

The defiance angered Ivory further. “I swear to God-”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”  

The heated argument came to an immediate halt at the blood curling wail penetrating their ears. The manifestation of shame was instant when they looked down to an out of breath Tanner and realized they not only neglected him on the ground but he also saw them at their worst and nastiest.

Unbeknownst to the giants above him Tanner’s wail wasn’t a spur of the moment impulse released when he couldn’t handle the fighting any longer. They didn’t see the prior moments of him trying to summon his every last drop of energy and courage that went into his cry.

His prior interjection attempts ended with voiceless audibles being devoured by the boisterous shouts of the clashing titans. Every bellow from above intensified the tension in the room until his body weighed 1,000 pounds and his quivering legs were set to collapse under his weight. Adrenaline was pumped out begging Tanner to do anything, but his body remained frozen in the clutches of pure terror. With blurred vision he watched as Ivory and Ingrid seemed to grow bigger with each escalating shout and insult launched.  It was too much, his heartbeat raged with the intensity of a jackhammer and the voices of his guardians morphed into indecipherable booms of thunder. He was afraid anything he said would suck him into the storm of the argument.  He couldn’t take anymore and screamed his lungs out until they had nothing left, leaving his mental and physical faculties drained. If it meant being free from this nightmare, he welcomed the sensation of blacking out.

The moments after were hazy and his brain teetered the lines of conscious and unconsciousness. The first sensation he was faintly coherent for was the distorted voices speaking in a fragmented conversation.

“What are you doing!?”

“He needs help!”

“Don’t call her! She’ll take him away!”

“He hit his head dammit, he needs help!”

“I won’t let her take him away!”

“Ivory what the fuck are you doing!? STOP!”

His body was in motion, being whisked upwards and moved elsewhere.  An objected slammed shut and clicked.

More talking ensued.

“Are you crazy!? OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!”  Raucous thuds followed.

“H-huh?” Tanner’s vision focused as came around.

“I’ll stomp on him if you don’t leave!” Ivory threatened and it was the first sentence Tanner understood in its entirety.

“What!? What’s going on?” Instinctually he struggled, but was light-headed and sluggish making his resistance weak against the cradling hands of Ivory who snuggled him closer to her chest until he was firm in place.

“Oh my gosh, my poor baby! You must be so scared, it’s okay Mommy’s here.” Ivory cooed, swaying herself back and forth.

“Where’s Ingrid!?”

“Shh…”

“What happened!?”

“Shh…”

Tanner’s follow up inquiries were hushed and the banging ceased leaving the room silent. The combined effects of his subsided adrenaline, energy depletion, and light-headedness slowed his already weakened struggles to a stop leaving him putty in his mother’s hands while she continued rocking him.

He fought to remain present, but his breathing slowed to match the rhythm of Ivory’s and his consciousness was sedated with every thump of her heartbeat. Each time he blinked his eyes remained closed a little longer, lulled by his mother’s words until they didn’t open again.

“It’s okay Tanner, just go to sleep.”

“No one is going to bother us now.”

“It’s just us.”

Ivory’s Reminiscence II: What Will It Take?

I think I’m as responsible for Tanner shrinking as his condition is. His condition shrunk him physically, but I shrunk his world. If I wanted, I could have measured him daily, instead I kept a keen eye on him. Watching him interact with his growing environment was far more fulfilling and when something became inaccessible, I put a new restriction that further closed in the walls of his reality.

When I looked down at the 6-inch-tall Tanner I couldn’t believe I was staring at the same child I adopted years ago. On a whim I leaned down and picked him up in my hands for the first time. I shouldn’t have expected differently, it was as effortless as lifting up a doll, but the rush of power and control I felt over another human could never be replicated. My equally mystified son looked back at me. Were we feeling the same thing? Whereas I felt so powerful, big, and in control of every facet of his life did he feel weak, small, and incapable? Did he understand that I was his benevolent giant guardian who protected him? Did he understand there were malicious people out there? Did he understand that I was free to do what I wanted to him, but chose not to? Did he understand that not everyone was as kind as I was?

“Tanner, I don’t want you on the ground anymore. If you need to go anywhere, I’ll carry you.”

The changes were never easy and were always met with minor resistance every step of the way. It was the same here with brief tension followed by his dejected nod acknowledging my order. I could see it… that longing in his eyes. I hated it.

I love Tanner so much. Despite his stature and everything I’ve made him sacrifice I want him to be happy. But he didn’t see the world I saw, the world that would abuse him without a second thought. I thought it’d become clear to him the smaller he became, instead there was always that dormant vigor in his eyes… especially when he watched Ingrid.  Why did he always cling to her? 

I know I won’t win mother of the year any time soon with her. I looked away and suddenly she was an independent young woman who was ready to take on adulthood. She was always so brazen and capable.

Is that what you see in her Tanner? Is that what you want for yourself? I’m sorry my tiny sweetheart, but you’re not her. You’re not capable, you can’t take on anything. You’ve shrunk, I’ve shrunk your world and now I need to go one step further and shrink your spirit. When I make your spirit small then you’ll understand… How far will I have to go?