“No I don’t think that it’s a good idea for me to stick around here any longer lieutenant!” Louie said into the speaker.

Louie was looking around his shabby one room apartment as if expecting a wise guy to jump out from behind the tattered smelly couch. He knew the penalties for being a rat and he really didn’t want the Italians to find out. He had been undercover before, with a few street thugs doing drug dealing. Two were now in jail, thanks to Louie, while the third was still in hiding somewhere in the bowels of the city. This had turned out to be a blessing in disguise because he had not known Louie to be working with the cops and thus told the Italians he (Louie) was a stand up guy when they came to call, checking on the background of their new recruit.

“Louie,” came the voice of the police lieutenant on the other end of the line. “They are letting you in deeper because they are getting ready to make you a made man.” You’re about to be in the real thick of it! They are giving you bigger and bigger tastes because they want to see how you react. It means they are not suspicious. Now, did you get the goods on them and the Latinos or what?”

“Yeah I got it but you’re not gunna like it! No one will believe it anyway.”

“Did you get the fucking recordings or NOT?!”

“Yes I got them! I got the recordings of them being killed but Lieutenant, they weren’t done with a gun.”

“Who gives a rat’s ass? Oh sorry Louie, no offence.” The Lieutenant chuckled at his own joke and then continued. “It doesn’t matter how they did ‘em as long as you got it on tape. Knives, ice picks…”

“None of the above, sir.”

“Chainsaws then?”

“Eaten.”

“What? Did they feed them to a shark?

“No they fed them to a girl,” Louie said. There wasn’t so much fear in his voice as a state of shock that only accompanied unbelievable and horrendously nerve-wracking events.

“Could you say that just one more time Louie? I think I didn’t get that quite right.”

“They fed them to a girl.” Louie repeated. “She shrunk them to about an inch high and then swallowed them whole. Alive. And she liked it. She enjoyed it.”

“Louie if you don’t want to be serious then maybe you should just go into protective custody now.”

“I am being serious Lieutenant.”

“Then explain to me what the fuck you are talking about.”

“I already explained!” said Louie a bit louder than he should have. “She ATE them!”

There was a loud BANG on the door and a quiet, gruff voice interrupted Louie’s phone call.

“You know I don’t think that he will believe you if you explain it to him a second time. Not the sorta thing a cop’s gunna’ believe, ya’ know?”

Gino, who had been listening at the outside of Louie’s apartment door, walked in. He was staring hard at Louie. There was a large bruise on the side of his head. Louie wondered who in the world was capable of bruising Gino. It seemed impossible. It certainly was impossible for Louie.

Gino grabbed the phone and crushed it in his hands. Then he grabbed Louie’s neck and pulled out a knife.

“This is the part of my job that is quite fun.” He explained to Louie in a flat tone. “I really do enjoy dispatching rat fuck-ups like you.” He held out a wicked looking knife so Louie could get a good look at it.

“You know what we do to rat fuck up like you, don’t you?” he asked.

Louie gurgled a bit, it was hard to say much with the vice of a grip around his neck. Unfortunately he did know what the penalty for talking was.  (For those of you who do know what the Italian Mafia does to rats, that subject will not be explored in this story.)

“Too bad the boss wants you alive. Maybe he’ll let me play with you once he’s done grilling you. Ah well, I can only hope when he says alive he doesn’t mean unhurt.”

He dragged a squirming Louie out the door.

Following the loss of contact with the undercover, the city was crawling with cops for the next few days. There was so much heat the Mario decided it was financially impossible to bribe his way out with the cops. He could give them Louie back of course, but you didn’t just give back a rat. No, no. He had to be punished. There was another way to kill two birds with one stone and he felt that he had no choice but to give his friend Harvey Donovan a call. He already owed Harvey one for surrendering Brendan, a great fighter and a great guy. Now he (Mario) was really putting himself in the hole with the Irish. He reached for the phone.

Men glanced at her as she passed. The sexy but businesslike pants-suit that Siobhan had purchased recently did her justice. Her heels clicked the floor as she made her way to the important office in question. It was Mayor Joust’s office. She walked in and looked at the young man behind a desk.

“I have an appointment with the Mayor,” she said.

He looked up and gazed appraisingly at Siobhan’s form.

“Name please?”

While he checked, Siobhan made small talk. She found out that the boy was an intern. Of all things, she thought.

There was a knock at the door and Mayor Joust called for Siobhan to enter. She walked in, accenting her walk with a little more hip motion than the Mayor thought absolutely necessary. If she thought she could yank him around because she was good looking, she was absolutely right.

“Mayor,” said Siobhan in a husky voice. “I was wondering if you know my employer.” Before he could speak Siobhan cut him off. “It doesn’t matter really. All you have to know is that the police had an undercover man with the Mafia. “He was caught, most unfortunately for him.” She nestled herself down before him, sitting on his desk and crossed her legs. Oh how she loved this.

“There are a lot of cops in their neighborhood lately,” continued Siobhan. “They’re not going to find him. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. More appropriately, it would be like looking for our friend your intern here.” She pulled something out of her breast pocket and held it up so Mayor Joust could see it.

“My Word!”

“AHH!” screamed the tiny boy in Siobhan’s hand.
”Aww, isn’t he cute?” asked Siobhan.

“What have you done to him? I demand here and now that you restore him to his former self this instant!” said the mayor forcefully. He privately thought to himself that he sounded like the leader he portrayed himself to be in the campaign two years ago.

“Oh, sorry. No can do,” said Siobhan. “He is way too cute and I think I would like to keep him. What do you say my little friend?” She held him up to her face and smiled, her eyes narrowing.

“How about we start simple? A quick lunch perhaps?” She threw back her mouth and began to dangle the boy over her lips.

“Don’t you dare!” said the Mayor in horror.

“Don’t you try and stop me,” said Siobhan. She pointed to the window. The Mayor looked outside and noticed that there was a laser point showing on the window glass. A laser point was painted right on his chest. He spun back to Siobhan and then looked back at the window and then back at the girl. He couldn’t seem to decide where to direct his attention, at his own potential death or the death of his intern.

The girl was dangling the intern over her mouth again!

“Mmm yummy, yummy, yummy!” said Siobhan.

She dropped the man into her mouth and visibly swallowed. The Mayor couldn’t believe it. Had she really just eaten his intern?

The girl smiled and looked back at the Mayor giving him a grin with her teeth slightly parted. He could see the back of her mouth and no one was in there.

“He’ll get to know me better on the inside,” she said simply. “Wanna get to know me better?” She spoke as if it were a sexual turn on, which for her it was.

“You monster!” squeaked the Mayor, not sounding anything like the fearless leader that his campaign had portrayed him as.

“Remember what I said,” Siobhan said as she got up and headed towards the door. “Call the cops home and you’ll never see me again.” She smiled one last time and waved as she closed the door behind her, leaving a very scared Mayor in her wake.

Jason grabbed Siobhan as soon as she got back to the neighborhood.

“Did you eat him?!” he spat.

“Eat who?” she asked, bewildered

“You know fucking who! Brendan!” he spat. “You ate him didn’t you?

“No! Why would I eat him? He was always so nice and sweet to me.”

“He wanted you to eat him. Did you?”

“He was my only friend. I thought he couldn’t deal with talking to such a murderer any more. I haven’t herd from him in three days.” She looked forlorn and gazed at her shoes.

“He talks to murderers every day,” countered Jason but he seemed to believe Siobhan. In his line of work, you didn’t live long if you couldn’t tell if someone was lying to you.

“He’s my best friend. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him. I haven’t herd from him lately either,” confessed Jason.

“We’ll find him,” said Siobhan. Jason nodded.

Tyrone had never seen Jason excited. People never saw Jason excited. Jason did not look excited now but he did look dangerous. More dangerous than usual, Tyrone corrected himself. There was a hard glint in Jason’s eyes.

He was here with an obvious junkie. Odd. Jason didn’t approve of users in his crew.

“What’s up Tyrone?” asked Jason.

“Hey, my man.” boomed Tyrone. His voice was deeper than one would think possible. It sounded like it had a real struggle making it up past the huge muscular chest of the powerful Jamaican. They shook hands, Tyrone’s enfolding Jason’s completely.

“Listen Tyrone, were not gunna keep you for any length of time here,” Jason was explaining, gesturing with his muscular arm at his companion as he spoke. “Brendan went missing a few days ago and we knew that you and he were tight from back in prison. We wondered if you had heard anything about him.”

“Yeah man, you know we were cool. That kid saved my ass in prison from some gang.”

The junkie looked up at the Jamaican. He dwarfed Jason’s powerful form and had arm muscles almost as thick as the junkie’s legs. The idea that he could need saving from anything short of a dragon seemed ridiculous. Even the dragon would be operating on bad odds.

Tyrone explained to them that Brendan had helped him when he (Tyrone) had been cornered by several inmates with a crude knife. Brendan had overheard their plots to kill Tyrone and, knowing the huge black man to be a stand up guy, Brendan ambushed the would-be assassins as they was about to ambush Tyrone. Then, five to two, they defeated them.

“Saved my ass with those ninja moves of his. The kid was nuts. He would fight anyone if they gave him a reason. You need help finding him then I’m with you to the end.”

“See if you can dig up anything on his whereabouts will you? I know he liked underground fights. Check places like that. If you come up with something let me know.”

“Count on it.” said Tyrone.  

“What the fuck you doing in this neighborhood?” said a voice.

A form, not equal to Tyrone’s but still much larger than Jason’s emerged nearby. The man wore no shirt to conceal his iron hard upper body muscles, only baggy shorts and a Jamaican flag bandana around his dreadlocks.

“What?” said Jason, all pleasantness melting from his tone.  

“You got some nerve coming in here boy!” shrieked the man. “You’re parked in my spot.”

“Is that so?” asked Jason.

“Uhh, I wouldn’t…” started Tyrone to the newcomer but the man blew him off.

“You came into the wrong neighborhood, boy.” the guy advanced on Jason, pulling out a knife and preparing to take a swing.

It never landed. The newcomer saw Jason threw three punches into his face before going unconscious.  

“The man is a championship boxer,” Tyrone explained to the unconscious man at their feet.

Jason’s phone rang. He picked it up and his face turned grim.  “Good work, I’ll call you back,” and snapped his phone shut.

“Got a lead on where Brendan went. Looks like the Russians. Might be a war brewing. Feel like going to war?”

Tyrone laughed.

An idea occurred to Jason. “Mind if I bring him with me?” asked Jason, pointing to the man he had knocked cold.

“Never liked him,” said Tyrone, helping Jason move the body to the trunk of the car.

The heat in the Italian section of the city only worsened. Obviously they had failed to make things completely clear to the Mayor. Mario decided it was time for action. He really had to drive home the message.

“Mayor, can we talk to you for a moment?” said a respectful feminine voice.

Mayor Joust looked around to see a gorgeous woman with dark hair looking up at him. She was wearing a red cocktail dress that fit her form perfectly. Behind her stood a bulky, ugly man caring a camera and looking at the girl’s ass which was, judging from the way she looked in front, worth seeing. The mayor stared at her breasts and then slowly migrated upwards to meet her gaze.

A news crew! Joust’s mind turned on, full politician. It was almost enough to send any lie detector’s needle’s jumping from three blocks away.

“Well of course I can spare a moment!” said the Mayor jovially. “What will we be discussing?”

“First I was wondering if we could travel to a more scenic part of the city, my cameraman Marco does love to take good shots of scenery and stuff and we can get the setting sun over the water as I talk to you which I know will look good, I’ll tell you about the interview as we drive there!” she had the ability to fit about several ideas into one sentence and not pause for breath. It was as if any idea that was not immediately formulated in her mind might vanish if she didn’t verbalize it at once.

“Well of course!” said the Mayor, thinking he would gladly accompany the woman. He also though it might be good for his public rating if he was seen being interviewed by such an attractive woman. Besides, if she was as harebrained as she came across, she wouldn’t possess the mental equipment needed to stump him on a question or lead him into a verbal blunder. He did hate those darn tricky reporters!

The woman took him by the arm and walked with him to the van, opening the sliding door for him and gesturing him to get in. He gladly jumped into their van wondering why it didn’t have a news logo on it, and strapped in.

“What station did you guys say you worked for again?”

“We’re going there now,” said a deep voice from behind him.

Suddenly the mayor saw an angry looking man sitting behind him. The punch came so fast that the mayor never saw the guy’s hand move.

He woke up at a table that was set with Italian food that smelled delicious. Too bad he didn’t feel like eating. His head was throbbing too hard to think straight. His vision practically vibrated as his pulse throbbed in his eyes.

At once, he was aware of his surroundings. Sitting across from him was Mario, the friendly local Italian Mafia boss. To the mayor’s left sat the woman in the red dress.

“Welcome to my little establishment Mayor Joust,” invited Mario. “We took the liberty of preparing some food for you. I hope you like red wine.” He gestured towards the plates and glasses before them. He and the woman had already begun to eat but the mayor thought if he ate he would throw up. Instead he took the wine, sipped it, found his leathery tongue could not face it in his dehydrated state, and started drinking water.

“Not gunna lie to you mayor, you’re pissing me off, no doubt about that.”

“You killed my intern and threaten me with my life? I don’t care if you threaten me. I will not take orders from criminals!” said the mayor in a shaky voice. The mayor would come around, Mario could see that.

“So babe,” (he avoided using Mariah’s name on purpose) “Whatya eating there?”

“Some delicious spaghetti,” she said with her mouth full. “But it wasn’t quite to my taste without adding a bit of seasoning.” She gestured with her fork towards two tiny men struggling to escape the hot spaghetti in which they were entangled. She caught one by twirling her fork and a whirlpool of pasta entwined around the fork, trapping one of the men.

 “Eew!” said Mario. “That one’s a rat isn’t it?”

“You gave him to me to eat!” said Mariah indignantly, raising her fork.

“Oh right, the undercover that the cops had in my organization. Well they were fools enough to try him and I was fool enough to hire him. Can’t let him live with the information that he picked up along the way. Good thing this pretty little girl is here to rectify the whole thing isn’t it mayor? Rectify it literally.”

Mariah shot Mario a glare and opened her mouth wide before Louie, still struggling to free himself from the pasta. Tiny squeals for help were emanating from the fork.

Mariah made sure the mayor was watching and slowly put the fork into her mouth. She closed her mouth and drew out a clean fork. Did the mayor hear someone’s shouts for help echoing within her mouth? He DID hear the man screaming!

“No, please,” he said to Mariah softly but she started to chew. She obviously was enjoying herself. Finally she swallowed a few times and helped herself to a bit of wine to wash it down.

“He was struggling a lot. I didn’t mean to chew him, just the pasta but it was tricky and I think I accidentally bit him a few times. Oh well.”

“What does it matter?” asked Mario.

“They are so much more satisfying when they wiggle on the way down,” explained Mariah.

“Oh, well next time,” said Mario.

 “Yes next time,” said Mariah as she scooped up some more pasta on her fork, missing

the other man on her plate by inches. “So did I do a convincing job at portraying a ditsy reporter?” she asked the mayor.

“This young lady is an aspiring actress. What did you think of her performance?” prompted Mario.

“Why are you showing me this?” asked the mayor softly, ignoring the question.

“Because we want this neighborhood off your hot list. We cant function properly with all these cops around. Get ‘em outta this neighborhood!”

“I do not barter with thieves,” said the mayor. “You took the life of a good man,” he said to Mariah, “but you won’t get me to change my mind even if you put me on that plate.”

“I was wondering if you might say that,” said Mario. “And I would seriously like to test the validity of that last statement but unfortunately we just don’t have the time.”

Mariah was now lifting the other man off the plate. He too was lashed to the silverware with coils of pasta.

“What is his name again?” asked Mario, looking at Mariah’s next victim.

“He said his name was Ted Joust,” said Mariah

“What?!” shouted the mayor.

“Ted Joust,” repeated Mariah.

 She opened her mouth wide, ready to receive her next mouthful.

“That’s my son!” said the mayor, looking closely at the man poised at the entrance of the woman’s digestive tract.

Mariah nodded and started to put the fork into her mouth.

“No! Alright. I’ll find a way to get rid of the cop buildup in your area! Just let my son go!”

“No.” said Mario. “Not until there gone. Then you get your son back. He stays with this lovely lady until then. I would hurry though. She tends to get pretty hungry.”

Mariah nodded. She still hadn’t put the fork down. She was still holding it before her mouth but at least now it was closed and she was looking at the mayor.

Suddenly a huge man that bulged with muscles appeared from nowhere and hauled back to hit the mayor, an expression of extreme delight on his face. Everything went black for Mayor Joust once again.

To be continued.