I shut the bathroom door behind me with a soft click and ran my fingers through my slightly damp hair to keep my bangs out of my eyes.  The bed was still unmade, not that it bothered me too much, and sunbeams streamed through the curtains to provide enough light for the morning.  If there was one thing I liked about Saturdays, it was sleeping in long after the sun came up.

Rummaging sounds came from the kitchen, the sounds of my girlfriend, Natalie, making breakfast.  She usually woke up a little earlier than me on the weekends, something which irritated me when I first moved into her apartment, but I quickly came to accept.  I could deal with a morning person if it meant moving out of my college pad where the air conditioning was broken most of the summer and windows never fully shut in the winter.  Besides, this way we could split the cost and save up for a real place.

On my way to the kitchen my foot banged against something, causing pain to radiate up my leg.  I looked down and saw that I had just clipped an old dollhouse with my toe.  The only real issue I had with Natalie was that she was practically a hoarder.  Outwardly everything was in good order, but I had to clear out whole cabinets full of old magazines and school papers when I moved in.  There were a few things, mostly stuff that was non-recyclable or too much of a hassle to move, that stayed, and this small house was one of them.

I limped into the kitchen just in time to see Natalie slam her butt into the refrigerator door to close it.  It always puzzled me how I ended up with someone as gorgeous as her.  She had dark brown hair that went to the middle of her back and blue eyes that shone even in the darkness, with a petite nose that suited her face and a creamy complexion.  Her toned body made it obvious that she ate well and worked out enough to stay lean without looking like a bodybuilder.  Since we had no plans to even open the front door today she wore a white chemise that revealed a little of her moderate cleavage and tiny, skin-tight black shorts, with white ankle socks pulled over her feet.

“Why do you still have that dollhouse in our room?” I asked, walking toward the fridge.  “You’re a little old for one, don’t you think?”

Natalie slid past me and reached up to open the cabinet above the counter.  “I know,” she admitted, “but it’s so cute!  Plus, it gives me somewhere to put all my collector’s edition dolls so they won’t get in the way.”  Hard to argue with less clutter, and if she liked it I could not object too much despite wishing it was somewhere less in the way, like in storage.

I pulled open the refrigerator door and looked around.  Sundays were grocery days, so today was slim pickings.  Half a gallon of milk, some juice, a couple stray vegetables and a jar of old pickles.  I shrugged and grabbed the pickles, reasoning that they were probably the least bad thing in there to have for breakfast.

Casually I wrapped my palm over the lid and twisted, but my hand slipped over the metal.  Annoyed, I reset and tried again with a grunt, but found it just as impossible to move.  Finally, I grabbed the little rubber circle we used to plug the drain and gave it one more go, but could not even budge the lid.

“Here, let me try,” Natalie offered, holding out her hand. 

I slapped the jar into her open palm.  “Good luck,” I teased, “that thing’s cemented on.”  She placed her hand on the lid and it popped off immediately.  I was not even sure her hand moved.  “Yeah, after I loosened it for you.”

“Sure you did, big guy,” she retorted, pressing it back into my hands.  Natalie leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips, then pulled away.  “Need help with anything else?”  Instead of looking straight across into her brilliant blue eyes, my vision was now level with her nose.  She must have noticed my hesitation and asked, “Something up?”

“Yeah,” I began, trying to think of the best way to broach the topic without just saying “you.”  “You seem… I don’t know, taller, this morning.”

“You know what, I feel taller today, too!” she exclaimed, grinning.  “All that yoga must finally be paying off, huh?”  Suddenly she paused and looked down, then gasped.  She hadn’t noticed.  “Ha!  Am I taller than you now?”

“No, it’s probably just my imagination, I stubbed my toe on your dollhouse today and can’t really stand up straight,” I said, trying to brush her off, but she was insistent.

“Is it your imagination that you’re somehow sharing with me, or did you stub your toe?” she asked, pressing the matter.  “I think the only thing not standing straight here is your story.”  This was my reward for dating someone who debated as a hobby.  “Come on, let’s go back to back and see for sure.”

Convincing her otherwise would take too much time, and if I walked away she would keep teasing me about this all weekend, so with a sigh I submitted.  Begrudgingly I turned around while she did so much more energetically, and we pressed our backs against each other.  I straightened myself out as much as possible, knowing that if she actually was taller she would never let me hear the end of it.

Before I even felt a tap on my head she began turning around, so I followed suit.  This was going to be bad.  I braced myself for the ribbing when she saw I was still eye level with her nose and only hoped that she would let it die down after a bit.

Somehow it was even worse, and I was looking at the tip of her chin.  “Wow, I feel a lot taller now!” Natalie exclaimed.  “At least, you look a lot shorter, little guy.  Shorty.  Short stuff.  Small fry.”  She giggled, and I slipped between her and the refrigerator.

 “You must have been slouching earlier,” I muttered.  “It was like you grew three inches in a couple seconds.”

“No, pretty sure I wasn’t,” she replied, “and I sure didn’t grow right then.  Must be the yoga.”  I opened the cabinet with the tip of a finger and fumbled around for a bowl.  “Maybe I’ll start going twice a day, grow twice as fast.”  My fingers continued fumbling, but for some reason could not grasp anything.  “Think I’ll be a giantess by this time next year?”

She placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me away from the counter, then took my place.  “Here, let me help you with that, small stuff,” she said, grabbing a bowl without even having to stand on her toes.  When she turned around to hand it to me, however, she paused.  “Huh.  You’re smaller than I remember.”

“Yeah.  Yeah I think so.”  In the short time since we had compared heights she had apparently grown even more, and I was now level with her collar bone.  Natalie was about a head taller than me just since last night.

“Well, here’s your bowl little guy, try not to fall into it,” she said, shoving it into my hands before walking into the next room.  I put it back on the counter a little harder than I had expected and went after her.

“Wait, you’re not even concerned about me getting smaller?” I asked.

“No?  Because you’re not?” she replied while looking for something on the coffee table.  “I said you’re smaller than I remember, not that you’re getting smaller.  Big difference, little guy.”  Natalie looked a little while longer, knocking around stacks of old magazines, before letting out an exasperated sigh.  “Have you seen the remote?”

I spotted it after just a quick scan of the room.  “It’s under the chair,” I said.  “Looks like it’s wedged in there pretty good.  I’ll lift so you can grab it.”

“Aw, can’t you just crawl your tiny ass under there and push it out for me?” Natalie teased.  “Fine, go ahead.”  She stood beside me while I wedged my fingers beneath the chair and hefted, but could not move it from the ground.  I tried again, and it stayed firmly in place.  No way the chair was this heavy, or I would not have been able to get it in the door.

Natalie placed a hand on my arm and gently moved me out of the way, then took my place.  “Come on, let your Amazon girlfriend have a shot,” she said, sliding one hand under it.  With ease she raised the front of the chair high enough that she could comfortably keep it from falling back down.  While holding it up she seemed to be even taller, but I ducked to snatch the remote up before trying to confirm.  The last thing I needed was another string of snide remarks.

She lowered it back to the ground the instant my head was clear, and I turned to hand the remote to her.  I was looking right at her tummy.  “Um,” was all I managed to say as I craned my neck back.  When I got to her face I saw that she was looking down at me with an equal amount of surprise.

“…huh,” she finally managed.  Slowly she leaned down and slipped the remote out of my loose grip.  “Either I’m eight feet tall now, I’ve been dating a dwarf for years and didn’t know it…”

“…or I’m actually getting smaller,” I finished.  “It’s the only possible explanation, you didn’t tower over me like this only thirty seconds ago.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, I guess you are,” Natalie admitted, finally agreeing with me.  She placed a hand on the top of my head and mussed my hair.  “Bet you’re glad I didn’t get rid of the dollhouse now, aren’t you?”  Her stunned expression transformed into a smile while she messed up my hair, and I gawked up at her in silence.