"So the first thing you need to know is that you each get three actions per turn.  Moving, attacking, opening doors, searching, and so on.  Each turn zombies will come out on the board and start moving towards you.  They like to go after the noisy ones.  Get XP and you'll grow stronger"  Kara smiled brightly.  "So for your first game I figured we'd start with an easy mission.  Your goal is to get all five objective tokens.  They're the red Xs.  Remember you can only enter the buildings from sides with the door tokens.  You also need to kill at least one necromancer and one abomination.  Everyone ready?  Let's see what zombies we start with!"

I watched as Kara reached down and looked at some cards.  She the reached over into a pile of grey figures.  I watched her grab a pair of figures standing up straight and put them on the map far away from us.  She then grabbed one that seemed to be hunched forward and placed it south of us before grabbing another fat figure and putting up north.

"Anyways Jeromy, you get to go first.  What are you going to do?"  Jeromy stepped back in fear as Kara's eyes focused on him, still clearly in horrible pain from the way his eyes were tearing.  "Guys, we should get to that top building fast."  We all turned as Brian spoke.  "I have no idea how this game is played but she said that zombie spawn every turn so early  turns are probably easiest and later turns will get worse as more things appear on the board.  That door up top seems to be near one of their spawn points plus we're close to it so it should be our first goal.

Jeromy nodded and moved into the square north of us.  "One."  Kara's voice echoed over us.  Jeromy then stepped over the door token.  As he did so Kara's right hand came down in front of him, and her forefinger snapped forward suddenly hitting him in the stomach.  "No cheating!  I told you it's an action to open a door."  Jeromy rolled on the ground, clutching his stomach with his uninjured hand in pain.  "Your punishment is that you lose that action.  You still have one more action."  Jeromy pointed at the door weakly shouting up at her.  "I open the damned door."  

A slight giggle came from Kara.  "I can't really hear you but I'm guessing you said you open the door?  Well let's find out!"  Kara pulled out a red six sided dice and rolled it on the table.  Hmm...2.  Sorry.  But you need a 4 or better to open that door.  Your turn Brad!"  While she looked at me she put a small tile with a picture of a bell on the square Jeromy was in.  Of course.  She had said something about noise.  Wonderful.  

This time I went up to the door.  Learning from what had happened to Jeromy I pointed at the door, waiting for her to roll.  Kara smiled.  "Sorry cutie.  But you have a bow.  You can't actually break down doors.  What do you want to do for your other two actions?"  Fuck.  She was deliberately making us waste our turns.  A bow meant I had a ranged attack though right?  There was that fat zombie to the side.  Maybe I could shoot it.  I figured it was probably slow but strong so I stepped over one square but not into the one next to it.  That would be three actions and I didn't want to get attacked by it.  

Tiffany went next.  It turned out she did have a sword.  Her first roll was another fail like Jeromy's but her second opened the door.  "Alright!"  Kara's voice rumbled over us.  "Lets see what's in here shall we?"  Kara reached over and drew two cards.  We watched as she set a zombie figure in the room in front of us and one of those hunched zombies in the room next to it.   She then flipped the door over showing it as open.  Two tiles sat in the room with the zombie in front of us.  One was a red X.  The other was a drawing of a golden door.  

Mark was apparently player 4 as he came up to us.  "So what now?"  he whispered under his breath.  Not that he needed to.  Kara apparently couldn't actually hear us.  "She said we can attack.  You have two actions left.  Go in the room and stab or shoot that zombie.  There's two more of us after you so we have to be able to kill it."  I gave a small shrug as  I spoke stepping to the edge of my square but not over it, I suspected that Kara was waiting for an excuse to abuse us for breaking the rules.  "Otherwise we sit here forever until there are so many of them that we can't win.  I don't see that we have a choice but to figure out the rules as we go and a single zombie seems to be the best bet.

Giving me a small nod, Mark went into the room and pointed at the zombie.  "Alright.  Brave man fighting the zombie!"  Kara's voice rang brightly as she rolled the dice.  "Ooh.  A six.  Your hammer crushes it's skull.  It's dead.  Well redead.  Dead again?  What do you call killing a dead thing?"  Kara's shoulders rose and fell as she gave a shrug.  "You get one XP.  Your turn Alexa!"  

Alexa came up to the room next using two of her actions.   "So if we win her game what do you think she's going to do?  I don't think turn us to normal is on her agenda, even if we do win." Unlike Jeromy she realized that shouting was fine.  Kara probably didn't care anyways.  "No idea.  But I suspect losing is worse so for now let's play her game.  When it's over we can try and figure something out then."  I gave Kara a quick glance.  "Maybe she'll go out or something giving us a chance to escape or there's someone else here who doesn't know what she's up to."  I didn't really believe it but even small hopes were better than none.

"Okay then."  Alexa pointed at the red X giving it a small kick.  Kara's hand reached down and lifted it up.  "Well you get five experience for finding it.  Two more and you level up!"  Kara grinned at Alexa.  "Good job oh mighty hero!"  Kara seemed to be in thought for a second.  "Oh yeah, you do have another action if you want to take it.  Your special ability is that you get to move once per turn for free."

Alexa looked around.  Going into the room with the zombie seemed dumb.  So the question was whether to come out or stay where she was.  She gave a small shake of her head indicating she was doing nothing.  "Alright, your turn Brian!"  

Brian moved up to the room with Alexa and Mark.  When he entered he pointed to the golden door.  "No can do tiny.  You only have a magic scroll.  Good for shooting stuff.  Not so good for door opening."   Damnit again.  On the other hand we at least knew what each of us had now.  Even if we had wasted some actions.  But we could plan better on future turns.  

Brian pointed at the zombie in the other room.  "If I'm a spellcaster maybe it's ranged?"  Kara smiled down at him, clearly getting what he wanted even if she couldn't hear him.  "Good idea.  Shooting the zombie it is."  Kara reached over and rolled her dice once more.  "Ooh.  Just a one.  Sorry, you missed."  Kara then looked down at Brian giving him a curious look.  Brian clearly nervous turned his face away from her.  "No more actions huh?  Man, if I had Spellcaster like you did I would've used my free spell to launch another shot at the zombie.  Oh well.  Too late now!" 

 
As I realized Kara had fucked us over again I watched as she reached towards the two zombies in the distance and advanced them one square.  Well that was good.  They were slow then.  She then reached for the hunched one and moved it up once.  She followed this by moving the one in the room above me into the room with the others and then moving the fat zombie into the square next to me.  Then she reached over and moved that hunched one up another square before turning her eyes on Brian, Alexa, and Mark.  "So you guys are in a room with a runner.  It gets to go twice each turn.  So it's going to bite one of you.  Pick."  

I watched as the three of them started arguing about it.  How many hits could we take?  Five?  Three?  Would one be fatal?  We didn't know.  Clearly none of them wanted to be the ones to find out.  "Five.  Four.  Three.  Two.  One.  I get to choose!"  Kara's voice giggled as she reached down towards the three of them.  Her hand wrapped around them and I watched as it rose up before her smiling face, opening so all three of them were staring at her.  Kara's tongue came out and licked her lips as the finger from her other hand softly touched each one of them on the head.  I could hear her going "Eenie, meanie, minie, moe" under her breath.  This continued for a bit .  "...and that is....Y....O....U!"  Kara's finger was pointing at Brian as she finished.  

Brian instinctively started backing away but it was futile.  The finger that was pointing at him hooked under him and he was swiftly tossed into Kara's mouth.  As it slammed shut I saw her swirling something that I assumed was him in it as her cheeks puffed out.  She set Alexa and Mark back on their spaces on the board before spitting Brian out onto the table.  He hit it with a hard thunk and I winced as I saw him grasp his arm where it'd hit the table.  I didn't think it was broken but I wasn't a doctor and even if not broken it still had to hurt.   Not to mention he was covered in Kara's saliva.

Which was apparently why he was there instead of on the board.  Suddenly he was covered in a massive white sheet that I realized a second later was a tissue as Kara started rubbing it swiftly over him, getting her saliva off.  It looked painful as she didn't seem to be worrying over much about his size and that rubbing seemed intense.  Then it was lifted off of him and I watched as she casually grabbed him and dropped him back on the square with the zombie.  

"So Brian has taken one wound.  Two more and he's zombie chow."  She then drew more cards from that pile I'd seen earlier and I watched as she placed more zombies in the spots above and below us but not in the far area.  "Lucky dogs.  You got a nothing card over there."  

"Anyways it's time for your guys next turn.  You get to go first this time Brad!"  I looked over at Brian and Jeromy, both in a partial state of shock from their experiences and then up at Kara's smiling face.   I shivered as I comprehended what losing meant.  I'd suspected it of course.  But now I was sure.  And I was equally sure that Kara was fully intended for none of us to win this game.