I am hearing that they are going to bring the police, I don’t know what they plan to tell them but they should not be able to do anything here, I am not doing anything illegal for the love o of god! 

Honestly (although I think sadness speaks for me now) ... I don't know why I came back to Earth. I have been living in Acheron for almost longer than on this planet, and except for my Earth family and my best friend Carla there are not many more ties that link me to this place. 

Okay, okay… I don't want to be misinterpreted as a cold and ruthless person who turns her back on her home planet! I have attended via hologram the birth of all my nephews and my godson, all the birthdays of my family and the funeral of my last grandfather ... and those here have done exactly the same for all the things that happened in Acheron! It was difficult teaching my parents to use the Holo-time but it was worth having them by my side at my graduation as the first official translator of the Aekun or when the Alver-mother of my dear Vell passed away… I know that she also appreciated having her in-laws present at the funeral.

It may not count for some if you are not in person but in the case of my family I believe that we have managed everything well and that is what matters.

And I suppose that the term Alver-mother sounded strange to you, nor can I blame those who after 20 years have not been interested in the culture of the Acheron Empire! However, this is an ideal excuse for me to launch my new favorite section:

The first unofficial guide on a personal level of the Acheron empire! 

(Name not yet registered, please let no one appropriate it)

Let's start with the obvious. JIn the same way that the inhabitants of the earth are called Humans or Earthlings beyond our cosmic borders, the inhabitants of the planet Acheron are known as Aken. (Although I will leave the history lessons for another day, Aken comes from the name of the first great unifier on the planet ... the equivalent of our first UAN president)

And yes, I know that none of them has mentioned feeling offended that here on Earth you refer to them as giantesses… but let's be fair, we cannot go recriminating that we are called humans and not earthlings, and then start changing the name of other species!

Among their main characteristics we have that we both come from the same type of biological origin of bipedal hominids. (As much as we like to dream to the contrary, the planets that can harbor life are limited and the way this life is generated and evolves to a minimum level are equal or more limited). While on our planet we manage to evolve thanks to rapid adaptation to the environment, learning to create tools and less need for food consumption compared to our physically stronger rivals, the Akken evolved growing until they were able to dominate the much more hostile rivals and the nature of the gigantic Acheron (remember, Acheron is almost 3.8 times larger than our planet), scrapping the multiple biological sexes along the way for a single unified sex in favor of more individuals being able to procreate. (What on Earth we know as sequential hermaphroditism, similar to what happens in clown fish)

Physically for us humans the Akken would be all females, mainly based on their physical appearance based on non-direct confrontation with less bulky but more resistant muscles, rapid migration, the appearance of mammary glands in all members of the species and internal genitalia. This is relatively true until the age of 20 (on average, according to an acquaintance, her sister took until 24), where each Akken ends its period of puberty and their bodies begin to shape their genitals, giving rise to two possibilities: the alver or fertilizer and the dalver or fertilized.

Don’t think that they suddenly develop a penis or anything like that! The change occurs almost entirely internally. (I can attest to this, my wife is an Alver and down there she only has a beautiful, smooth and wonderful grotto ... too explicit? Maybe)

I am not going to elaborate further on the subject of reproduction, so we should follow more data from the biology of the Akken, the ones that every time I count them when they invite me to a school class give rise to three different general opinions: Either you feel really terrified,Or do you really feel amazed as a science fiction/fantasy fan, or they give you certain security that we are "eternal" allies. (Words from the Herald of Acheron, the highest rank of the empire and the equivalent of our UAN president ... I think he had said something similar before)

Their cells, skin and organs are extremely resistant to injuries, extreme temperature changes or pressure or aging. Their brains are more apt to receive and change information making them more similar to those of human infants/adolescents than to human adults. Their bodies are so malleable and trainable that with proper physical and mental training they are able to increase both their body mass, their muscle mass or their height exponentially (and although it is temporarily, I have come to see a soldier staying 90 feet tall for weeks).

Have I already mentioned that the average height of the Achei is 48 feet tall? No need, right? Just in case I will emphasize it again. 

14 and a half meters or 48 feet high for those of you who still follow the imperial system or whatever it is called. An average weight of 30 tons currently. I won't go into more detail but just to support my point a bit more I will say that an 8/9 Akken girl can lift an adult African elephant. It is not an estimate, I have seen it.

I know that unless you live in areas where there are Acheron embassies it is difficult to put into perspective such gigantic and beautiful beings moving at such high speed. 

And of course I mean speed relatively! Their movements in perspective are not much faster or more agile than ours (at least starting human and Akken from an attitude of rest and tranquility, both under pressure the Akken wins with extreme ease), but I can promise you that after two decades living with them the feats they can achieve do not cease to impress me. 

I guess in perspective it is not too difficult to understand all the first stir / terror on a global scale when we established our first physical contact ... especially since the Acheron empire did not expect us to give so much importance to the difference in sizes.

It’s strange to think but you have to believe me, I have talked about this with almost all those involved in the first contact and none believed that the difference in sizes was going to cause so many problems!

Although I should, before getting to that part, talk about the decryption crisis.

Hours after the arrival of the Acheron probe, they brought me, my fellow translators, and the linguistic experts that the military had been able to find in the last few hours in a secret cellar at the Palais des Nations, along with the 10 "informatics" (I insist on not being clear what they really were); all of us constantly watched by the most terrifying and armed soldiers I could ever imagine. 

On one side of the room and surrounded by 8 soldiers the first Acheron probe that had arrived, the "Rosetta Probe" as they had called it. On the other side, a screen the size of almost the entire wall, emitting the second Acheron probe in rigorous direct and with planes from all possible angles. And we are in the middle with a lot of tables, computers that seemed completely new and all the office supplies you can imagine. 

Objective: Decipher the message as soon as possible. 

And although now, so many years after living in Acheron, it is impossible for me to reposition myself in that room, I perfectly remember the terror that invaded us inside. The Aekun is ... the hardcore version of the bastard son of Korean, English and Spanish. 

Much of the language is written in symbols, these symbols have multiple variants to express actions over time, the syntax is subject-object-verb, the linguistic variants between different areas have similar bases ... Many grammatical rules that together resulted in neither with the alphabet that they sent us (Fun fact of the day! The alphabet that they sent us I found it years later… in a book of the equivalent of kindergarten education on Earth. Up to that point of fear they had us not knowing how to understand them) we managed to find the meaning of the text. 

I and my fellow translators had relegated us to the lowest possible level in the chain, bequeathing us the honorable honor of translating the second message word for word with the alphabet while their honorable Bald Mc.Ni-thank-you-gave us a debate the meaning and they were trying to put the puzzle together. 

Every time, and I repeat, every time they failed to advance they shouted at us to continue translating, insisting that we should check each symbol both individually and together. 

Did I mention that instead of leaving a space between words or forming complete sentences, the Akken leave spaces after each verb conjugation? It was… it was the real problem.

AND WHO HAD THE IDEA THAT IT WAS SO?! THIS GIRL HERE! I GET UP TRIUMPHAL FROM MY CHAIR TO FUCK, ONE BY ONE, THE MINDS OF ALL THE OLD FARTS IN THE ROOM! Someday my great-great-granddaughters will tell the story, I'm sure of it. 

Returning to the situation and already relaxing a little, I was the first to suggest the existence of this grammatical rule explaining the strange format of the text. First they took me for a madwoman until my direct boss began to review the phrase with the deciphered symbols and found that some logical phrases were formed, which of course meant that my idea became everyone's idea as we launched ourselves into the race to continue deciphering the text. 

The process lasted for almost 8 hours, much of the last five interpreting meanings since although in the Acheron empire he knew English many expressions and words with double meanings were broken or without context. What you are going to see now is a fixed version of the text except for the only word that at first did not occur to us that it was an error.

"The Acheron empire discovered the earth 1000 cycles ago of solar rotation, and since then we have observed you with curiosity and enthusiasm without wishing to intervene in your natural development. From the day we begin to traverse the cosmos, the Akken have had a dream in mind: to find our family beyond from the stars.

And precisely you are that family, earthlings. The first in this galaxy that we know to have the same origin as us, a symbolic union that may one day make us genetically compatible, a union that all of us in the Acheron Empire swear to defend at all costs. 

And as a family, just like an older sister worried about her becoming her little brother, we have to warn them that your non-existence and unconsciousness on a cosmic level is about to end for your misfortune. 

The Aph solar system where you reside has been selected for acquisition by another "alien" empire as you refer to species beyond Earth, the Torih Alliance, as a place to build their first colonies on this side of the Milky Way ... and Considering that Earth is considered an infant civilization for the rest of the galaxy, we have complete assurance that your entire species will follow the fate of many others found by the Torih, assigned as a sub-civilized species for your subsequent re-education. (That we are totally sure that in your language it corresponds to cultural enslavement-genocide)

If you wish, the Acheron empire will act and defend your position against the Torih, for this we will need to establish a degree of submission as soon as possible so that we can acquire the rights of your solar system. This probe is capable of analyzing the content on the other probe with the Earth keyboard that we built, from there we wait for your message, both affirmative and negative. (If so, we are ready to establish contact as soon as you give us a date, if this is the case, it should be around the solar rotations of your solar system)

Best regards and best of luck, your sisters from Acheron ”

Saving a few expressions resulting from broken English, can you see the word that by its appearance caused the entire subsequent disaster when someone in the room leaked all the information on social networks? Correct, the Acheron empire was firmly confident that the word Submission was an expression of equality and not of ... well, submission between a superior and an inferior. And of course, when an alien species confuses such a critical term in its first message ... I still don't understand how the Leaning Tower of Pisa ended up being knocked down during the riots. 

The 3 most terrifying weeks that we have lived as a species and that we have lived through true hells, 3 weeks that kept all of us involved in the translation under rigorous surveillance. 

3 weeks ... that I spend them investigating with all the material they had given me.

I consider myself a sincere person who trusts her instinct, and my instinct told me that the abrupt final change in tone at the end of the message made no sense. It was too strange that after talking about family and all that without warning they pretend that we will "kneel" before them. And as you will all imagine, it was not easy to make an argument out of my instincts to get in touch with them, not with the whole globe launching on a arms race against an enemy that we do not even know its form, its capabilities or even its arrival. 

I suppose that everyone will remember the figure of the delegate Austin Muñoz, the great diplomat who, after secretly meeting with the members of the translation team, decided to answer the Acheron Empire and thus become the hero who united both civilizations. 

AUSTIN MUÑOZ IS A HERO, RIGHT? Only him and no one but him came up with that idea, right? The great theory that turned out to be right and serve to save the earth, RIGHT? 

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

It was me who had the idea! I was the one who went to him with my theory, not him to us! I was the one who suggested the Akken's mistake in understanding English and the true meaning of the message! So many years have passed and I have kept quiet because that way I could protect my family and the "woman" I love from all the cameras that have surrounded Austin since that day ... but it has never seemed fair to me that they take all the merit. 

I'm not going to underestimate Austin's role in the alliance treaties and all that, but I want at least that before going back to Acheron in a definitive way this should be recorded: I was the one who consulted him about my idea and who brought together other translators to explain my theory. 

...

And yes, I know I should have said it before but well ... this trip of mine is my last visit to Earth ... at least as an earthling.