Servant(s): [Saber] Elizabeth Bathory (Brave), [Caster] Elizabeth Bathory (Halloween), [Lancer] Elizabeth Bathory

Again with the babysitting. Why did he have to babysit again? As much as he agreed that those girls needed someone to keep an eye on them, he would have preferred to pass the job onto someone else. He would have preferred it also be someone who was tone deaf. Just why was it that, today of all days, a certain vampire uncle was busy? Because of some sense of responsibility, he had taken charge of babysitting duty, but now he had to listen to every last word the little dragon girls spoke.

“Grrr… For the last time: The Center is me! Look at this dress! It was made for the stage!”

“Rejected! Uncle Vlad made that for Halloween anyways! The Hero has to take the spotlight! I’ll be taking the Center!”

Having to endure different versions of Elizabeth Bathory having a shouting contest was not new to him. Whenever the self-proclaimed idols began planning out their live shows, they would butt heads in a fight for the starring role. Watching the Halloween loving Caster and the self-proclaimed hero Brave stomp their feet and brawl was almost routine for him. All that was left was for the original Lancer class to join in, but on that day the little dragon girl was preoccupied.

“Hm….?”

Why was she occupied? Well, the reason why was because she was no longer a little dragon girl. In fact, to him, none of the three idol idolizers were.

“Uwah~! Did you seriously just turn into a green bug?” the gaping maw of the Lancer Elizabeth Bathory opened to speak, blasting him with her voice that was now 100 times louder.

Robin Hood was who he was. With his stealth as the Nameless King, he wanted to sneak away and wait out the danger he sensed immediately when the incident occurred, but now that he was 1/100th of his original size, getting anywhere inside the Chaldea lounge room was a difficult task. Escaping the grasp of the dragon girl who had already noticed his diminishment was an even more impossible one. After seeing him shrink before her very eyes, the Lancer Elizabeth had slipped away from her bickering copies, quickly got down on all fours, and approached him with curiosity. Her hands alone were far larger than any dragon he had faced before, so even while on her knees, she completely overpowered the green archer. Just by inspecting him, she was able to stop the shrunken man in his tracks.

Poke! Poke! Thud!

“Grk!” he grit his teeth from the enormous pink nail pinning him down. If the dragon girl had sharpened it, he was certain it would have sliced his body in two.  

“It seriously is you!” Lancer Liz exclaimed after affirming with her touch. “What happened? I just blinked and you were suddenly tiny!”

“Hey, cut that out! Take this seriously! This is a problem.”

The green archer shouted as loudly as he could, but to his dismay, his voice was impossibly miniscule to the dragoness’s ears. All she heard were tiny squeaks which she couldn’t make out.

“Sorry, did you say something, little grasshopper?” Elizabeth tilted her head. She was already nicknaming him for his new stature. “I can’t make out your chirping.”

“I said to take this seriously, you giant brat!”

But his words never made it to the Lancer’s ears. They were drowned out by the deafening sound of footfalls. Having heard Lancer Liz’s shout, Brave and Caster stopped their argument and curiously approached. Orange boots and armored boots flanked him from his left and right while the original was still on her knees, pinning him down with her index finger’s nail.

“Hey, what’d you find, Me?” asked the Saber class Elizabeth, she looked down from where she was standing but she apparently could only see him as a small green speck on the ground.

“I was going to ask that!” pouted the Halloween Caster who was still unsatisfied with their unfinished argument. She stomped her foot. The impact of her orange boot on the floor was sent through the ground and up his body. Simply feeling the power difference made him want to make his escape, but as long as he was pinned down, he had no choice.

“Fuu~... Looks like the green archer shrunk down,” the Lancer class couldn’t resist smiling as she jabbed his tiny body with her finger. Each light tap was a heavy strike that shoved him from one direction to the next. While the sparkle in her eyes seemed innocent enough, she was finding casually playing with him to be entertaining. Knowing the other form of her she could grow up to become, he knew that was just another part of her already exorbitant personality. “This is kind of fun.”

“Gaaah… Damnit…” cursed Robin. He was being toyed with by the 14 year old dragon girl servant’s finger. 

To the shrunken green archer’s surprise, the assault from the pink nail was stopped by another hand. The heroic Brave had stepped in. “Hey, stop that. You’re hurting my party member!”

“Sorry,” she apologized, but it was clear she wasn’t apologetic. “I just couldn’t resist.”

“Hm… Well, I kind of understand the feeling…”

With the constant poking done with, Robin could finally stand up and witness, in all of their glory, the titanic triplets towering above him. The sight made him grimace. He knew he was not going to enjoy what was to come.

At the very least, Brave Elizabeth started things off slowly. “So, Green. What happened? I don’t think the three of us did anything to give you that bad status effect.”

They didn’t. That much he was certain because they hadn’t even been paying him any attention before it happened. Whatever was the cause, it was an outside force. He knew a number of servants who could have been the culprit. In fact, a number of them he had undesirable memories of. What had to be done was for them to get to a servant who was capable of changing him back to normal size and then teach the real villain a lesson.

Unfortunately, Robin Hood’s entire plan went unheard by the three dragon idols. All they could hear was a series of unintelligible squeaks. All three Elizabeths were holding in their laughter in different ways as they listened to him being serious. Caster had her hand over her mouth and was stifling her laughter. Lancer was doing her best to bite her lip. Brave was clenching her sides.

“Pffft! Ahahaha~! We can’t hear you from down there, Matcha,” Lancer Elizabeth couldn’t hold back her laugh anymore. “What adorable chirping! To think our assistant manager would sound so cute.” 

Stomp!

“Wah!” the Archer found himself under the pointed heel of the Lancer girl when she broke into laughter.

“Aha~! What kind of squeak was that? You’re not even on the level of a cute piggy or a hamster! You really are a grasshopper!”

The green archer cursed silently while beneath the high heel boot. There was a terrible pressure pushing down on him at all sides. He couldn’t push the hundreds of tons of dragon girl as she treated him like a bug. It felt demeaning to be laughed at by the servant girl. 

“Oh my. Sorry. Sorry. You know how it is, don’t you, Grasshopper? When you see something cute, you can’t help but toy with it?” Lancer released him after having her fill. She bent down to apologize to him, but her enormous visage was frightfully intimidating. She nearly blew him away with just her hot breath. He had half a mind to use his stealth Noble Phantasm to sneak away and find better help, but before he could, something else entered his field of vision.

Swat!

“Grk!”

“Ah.”

He grit his teeth as something heavy hit the ground, sending him spiraling up into the air. The culprit was long and black with a pink tip. He recognized it immediately as the dragon girl’s tail, a different version of hers’. In a fit of laughter, Caster Elizabeth had slammed it down. When she realized it, she then curled it so that it encircled him.

“Our assistant manager isn’t going to be of much help today, will he, me?” giggled the Halloween-themed dragon girl while putting her hand over her mouth to try and hold back her smile. 

“Wow. Looks like he’s gotten really weak,” remarked Brave Eli. “Maybe we should do something.”

Blinking twice, the shrunken servant had to check his ears. Was the precocious brat actually being reasonable? Well, it was the Chaotic Good one talking.

“Eh? Do something? Oh, how about holding a concert for him? He can hear us in surround sound!” Caster suggested. That idea made the green archer turn white. He did not have any ear plugs with him at the moment. They would kill him with their tone deaf dragon’s breath at this size.

“A concert sounds like fun, but I guess we should go get the Manager (read: Master). Grasshopper’s no good as an assistant manager if he’s like this. Besides, that sly fox Tamamo would get that Dragon Slayer to knock us back to the start of the game if she caught us taking advantage of the situation again,”  Brave frowned. The constant Halloween antics had put the Elizabeths on a watchlist. They did not want to get in trouble.

“Uwah. You have a point,” Lancer shuddered at the thought of encountering the Dragon Slayer. She stood up. As she did, the enormous girl pushed against the ground. He was knocked to the floor by the force of her gentle push shaking the floor and given a generous view of the towering pillars that were her legs stretching up to the pair of white and pink striped panties she often flashed while her tail whipped about. “Then I guess I’ll go get Manager (read: Master).”

Ignoring the exposed sight above him, Robin Hood sighed a breath of relief. That sounded perfectly good to him. If Lancer was actually going to get Master, everything would be fine for him. That could leave him time to figure out who amongst the Servants had been the cause of this ridiculous event.

However, it wasn’t going to be that simple. It never was with Elizabeth.

“Eh?” Caster frowned. “Can’t we just fix him up ourselves? I’m a Caster and my [Item Creation] skill’s pretty good. I think I can whip up a potion cure for him in a jiffy.”

Hearing Caster’s boast sparked Brave’s competitive streak. “Hey, if we’re talking potions, that’s the Heroine’s job.”

“Please. I bet you’ll need days of travelling around for you to get a single one made.”

“Why you-! Don’t you mock the power of my fully operational crafting system! I’m a first class draconic builder!”

“And they’re at it again,” Robin groaned. Just when he thought things were going well, they started bickering and competing again. Looking up at the original who was still looking down on him, he wondered if he could trust them getting him back to normal. At the very least, though, one of the three girls was going to find their Master and get help.

The only problem was that the one who was going was the only one who wasn’t in the mood for the rival contest.

“Hey, grasshopper.” The tiny Archer braced himself as Lancer Eli took a step back so she could see his tiny form on the floor. The girl’s pointed heel boot landed in front of him. He felt dwarfed by the high heel of the boot when he found he could see the underside without her even having to raise it over him. Looking up even higher, he found the underside of her dress to be blocking his view of her face outside of her horns. He had to wait until she leaned forward before he could see her eyes. “You better be thankful. We’re interrupting our live practice for you.”

Thankful? He was thankful for his luck and nothing more. Most likely, if another servant was in the same position as he was, they’d be having trouble getting the attention of any of the unaffected ones. Still, he wasn’t sure if his luck was good or bad considering he was still stuck with two colossal, immature kids.

Stomp. Stomp.

“I’ve got no say in this, do I?” the green archer did not even have to look behind him as the original left. Caster and Brave Elizabeth had finished their spat and were now casting their shadow over his bug sized form. “Well, when do I ever do?”

Their boots already taller than skyscrapers, both versions of Elizabeth encircled him as they approached. He attempted to stay as still as a tree with firm roots, but it was difficult when every heavy footfall from the girls shook the ground and created a gust of wind with more strength than Li Shuwen’s No Second Strike. Fleeing wasn’t an option at the moment, so he decided to conserve his energy.

“Alright, while Lancer me’s away, we’re going to solve this problem right now, assistant manager,” Caster Liz confidently declared. “We’re going to have a contest.”

“The first to come up with a cure for you will be the Center,” Brave Liz explained. “Don’t you worry, Grasshopper. We’ll have you back to your regular height in no time!”

The shrunken Archer class servant sighed as the two giant dragon girls knelt down to pick him up. He couldn’t resist Caster Elizabeth as her long nails caught his cloak and yanked him up off the floor with speeds that would snap an ordinary non-servant’s neck. He was certain this would amount to nothing except trouble. 

-----

Trouble was certainly going to be the case for the unfortunate archer, but, at the very least, the chaotic good dragon girl was kind enough to set up a viewing platform for him to watch the competition. He had been placed on a violet cushion atop a high chair like a precious treasure on a pedestal. Unfortunately, his view was not exactly picturesque, unless a scene from Hell was what he considered picturesque. Elizabeth Bathory cooking was, in his mind, bone-chilling and nauseating.

To his left was a cauldron, half a dozen pumpkins, and piles upon piles of chocolate candy. The Caster dragon girl was ready to bake Halloween sweets like a witch. To his right was a mess of items from a workbench to a cookfire to another cauldron. The Saber dragon girl was prepared for a crafting session to build her curative item.

Did they both have to involve cauldrons? What kind of ghastly concoction would come out of them when either Elizabeth was finished?

“Alright, Matcha Archer!” Caster Liz spun her Halloween colored pitchfork with enthusiasm. “It’s time for Eli-chan’s Wonderful Halloween Sweets Festival!”

Sweets? She was starting to use her pitchfork to carve one of her pumpkins. With magic, it seemed to be an easier task, but the Halloween themed servant made a mess spilling pumpkin guts all over the floor.

“Whoa!” he evaded a large glob of pumpkin that plopped right onto the cushion he was on. Being less than 2 cm tall, just a small, bite-sized chunk of pumpkin was the size of a castle tower to him. “This darned Sweets girl.”

The mess of pumpkin carving alone was not all he had to worry about, however.

Shake!

“Grk- What th-!” something slammed into the high chair. The miniscule Archer nearly lost his footing. Turning to the cause, he found himself staring directly at a dragon girl’s meteoric rear end.  

“Let’s see… where’s the holyhock? I left it in here somewhere,” Brave Elizabeth mumbled as she leaned forward and rummaged through a large chest. As she searched, her tail wagged back and forth, and it had hit the high chair and yanked it towards her. He found himself literally in the shadow of posterior of a girl in naught more than bikini armor. 

“Somehow I have a bad feeling...” the archer mumbled. From pumpkin bits to a giant butt many times his own size and weight, what else could happen? He was more than a little worried about whether or not the girl would take a seat. 

“Ah, here it is.”

“Hey, hold on h-!”

Whaaaaaaam!

“Grk! O-ouch… Mfff… Gah...”

She did it. The moment she found what she was looking for, Brave Eli took a seat without thinking. It felt natural to her to rest on the chair because it was at the correct level for her to do so. Unfortunately, that proved Robin’s bad feeling. He was immediately pressed against the bikini armor clad Servant’s bare buttocks.

“Holyhock will be perfect for the potion. Now what else do I need...” the simple-minded RPG heroine remained seated on him while pondering what to add to her cauldron.

Beneath, the only bit of luck the shrunken archer had was the fact that he wasn’t pressed against the metal bikini armor itself. Even so, to be crushed between Brave Eli’s butt cheek and the cushion was suffocating. He had his face and body rammed against the peach colored bottom. A drop or two of sweat formed from the increased pressure. Those drops of butt sweat covered Robin’s face in its entirety. The salty liquid stung and made the cramped in the cramped space he was pinned down in all the more suffocating.

“Damn… Mfft...” Robin wanted to curse but the moment he opened his mouth, his mouth became filled by the girl’s butt. Any opening he gave was immediately taken up by the dragon girl’s behind.

After what seemed like minutes but was only twenty seconds, Brave hopped off of the chair, ever oblivious to what she had done. Robin was thankful to be able to breathe fresher air again, but he was worse for the wear.

“That darn klutz… This is the last time I switch with the Count for babysitting duty. Never again…,” the Archer groaned. His neck was aching more than the rest of his body. He disliked the position he was presently, but there was no remedying the situation. He took the time to rest up and regain his energy. He did so by keeping a wary eye on the giant lizard-type Servant girls.

Crafting, brewing, building - the draconic RPG themed servant seemed to be aiming to create some sort of status healing potion. Why she had to have a sewing station and a cooking fire confused the green archer. Then again, where she pulled those out of and why she thought having an open wood fire inside a building added more questions.

As a Servant, he should have been accustomed to weirdness, especially after seeing UFO-riding versions of the Demon King of Sixth Heaven and pyramids slammed into castles, but enough of his common sense somehow still survived to question everything. It was probably the reason why he became so acclimated to babysitting duty. Asides from the Bathory girl, he even started keeping candy for Ibaraki-Douji in case she was around. It even shrank with him.

“The Lancer version of the Lil’ Miss won’t be back for a while, huh?” the Archer of Sherwood Forest sighed on the forest meadow sized cushion. In the direct center of it, he understood his height was comparable to a tick’s. He unwrapped a caramel toffee from his personal stash and tossed it in his mouth. “Guess there’s no choice but to wait it out.”

He knew better than to waste energy in fruitless endeavors. He was going to just have to wait and see what either of the other two Bathory’s would do. The two of them were dedicated to beating the other, and he was bound to get caught in-between their clumsiness. His mana would be better spent minimizing the damage of that rather than trying to escape and find others.

“Phew. That’s one down… Huh? Oops. I made a real mess.”

Speaking of which, he was going to need this energy now as an enormous hand reached the cushion he was on. Caster Liz had seen the scattered pumpkin innards she had spilled and moved to brush them off the cushion. The green archer was quick to evade the fortress wall sized palm.

“That was close,” the composed archer remarked. He started to move again as the Caster’s hand returned for a second pass. “And agai- What the-?!”

Though he attempted to jump out of the way again, he found his left leg resisting his movement. He looked down to see he had stepped in a small chunk of pumpkin guts. It was as sticky as tar. His servant strength would be enough to break free, but he wasn’t able to do so quickly enough before he was smacked away by the oblivious Caster.

“Grk!” he grunted as he flew through the air. He felt gravity pull him down towards the ground quickly, but being a nimble forest archer, he was able to turn his body in mid-air to stabilize his landing. “Phew. Safe.”

The problem now was where he had landed.

“Let’s see… The White Petals are all good. Now to add a few more things. Let’s see… Frogstools... Talons... Slimes...”

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire,” the green archer mumbled while standing to the side of a pile of grass fibres and magic crystals. He was now on Elizabeth Bathory Brave’s crafting table where she had arranged and prepared a number of materials to create her potion. To be removed from the pedestal put right in Brave’s way beyond life-threatening.

“Eh? Why are you here, Green?” she noticed him as she started to take some supplies from the table. “Did you want to help me out?”

He did not, but the childish dragon girl didn’t take the hint. He attempted to evade her hand as it reached down to pick him up, but in terms of speed, the giant Saber class Servant was far quicker than his miniscule self. He was plucked by his hood.

“Oy! Hey! Put me down you littl-” he started, but nearly bit his tongue as he was yanked towards Brave’s face.

“Well, this is perfect,” she beamed. “The potion’s just about ready. Just let me bottle it up and we’ll cure you in an instant!”

“Eh, already?” Robin blinked. The two’s ‘competition’ had only just started, but the old-school RPG themed Bathory was already finished. 

Well, finished in the Elizabeth Bathory sense. Cooking was not exactly the original’s specialty, and it seemed the circumstances were similar for Brave and potion making. Looking down, he grimaced as he saw the bubbling blue liquid in the cauldron. There were chunks of SOMETHING that he couldn’t distinguish in the slightest because of the goop’s thickness.

“I think I threw in too many slimes, but it should still be okay! They’re not supposed to be put in potions anyways,” Brave Liz dismissed her own errors while scooping up the liquid with a glass bottle. If they weren’t supposed to, then why did she add them in the first place?

“Was there a point in making that much?” he remarked aloud. Just looking at the disgusting bile as she brought it towards him made him as green as his cloak. He had no desire in drinking such an obvious poison. Even as a master of traps of poisons, he felt ingesting that liquid would be a fate worse than death. And in his current state, he’d more or less be bathed in it.

Brave Liz started to have trouble as Robin violently swung his body about while between her fingers. “Uwaaah~ Stop squirming around! As long as you drink this, you’ll turn back to norma- Ah!”

Three things happened one after another. First, the Archer class servant abandoned his green mantle, unafraid of falling all the way down to the ground because that was the lesser of two evils. Secondly, because she was shocked by seeing him fall, Brave Liz, accidentally let go of the uncapped potion bottle, causing it to fall as well. Lastly, the self-proclaimed hero performed an EX level clumsy heroine miracle and tripped over her own two feet. Her entire [Super Giant]-type body plummeted to the ground before even Robin or the potion bottle.

Craaaaash!

“Hiii~! Cold!” the Saber class Elizabeth yipped as the slime, herb, and strange ingredient mixed potion spilled over her stomach and legs. The sticky, viscous, aqua blue liquid clung to her body and on the floor. Her bikini armor and face as well had been hit when then slimy potion splattered all over the place. “Uwaaa~! Gross. I’m not the one who needed this potion.”

Robin Hood’s predicament was far worse than Brave’s. 

“Grk… Cough… Gak… Everything about this girl is trouble… Where am I?” groaned the forest hunter. He had been getting knocked around like a rag doll all morning and now he was completely covered in the sticky, gooey mixture. He tried pushing himself off the ground, but the blue slime was so adhesive, he was pulled back down, glued onto the surface he had fallen on. “What the-?! Again? This is so not a good place to be.”

Just where was he stuck on? Where the green archer had ended up was none other than the dragon girl’s thigh. More specifically, the back of her exposed right leg. Pasted to a thick wall of meat that jiggled ever so slightly as Elizabeth shifted to and fro. Though Elizabeth was a girl with a slim and petite figure, her thighs and butt as a Saber were solid and firm. It was either due to his reduced size or the enhancement in status the Saber class typically gave, but either way, he could feel the weight he was stuck to. It was larger and sturdier than any old tree he had scaled before.

“Hehe. Talk about clumsy. There’s no way you can take center stage if you trip over yourself like that,” smirked Caster Liz while starting to bake her cookies.

“It’s not my fault! He was moving around too much!” Brave whined, trying to pick herself back up. She twisted her body so her tail whipped the slime on it off. Caster had to duck to avoid the blue liquid from flying into her face. The green archer found his body rising up as he was taken along with the dragon girl’s body as she stood up. “Huh? Where’d he go?”

As Brave looked left and right and on the floor for him, Robin ground his teeth as the speed at which the dragon girl’s hips swayed made his stomach churn. The fact that she was also swinging the weight of her tail around made things much worse as he could hear the storm that was generated whenever her tail swept through the air. It felt like he was being pulled upwards by the gale.

“Wait… Hey! Gah, this slime’s actually still alive!” the green bowman realized he actually WAS being moved. The sticky fluid of the potion had made its way up Elizabeth Brave’s thigh and was now on her butt. It had taken him along with it, so the bottom of her bikini armor was in plain view from his position now. He was a barely visible stain on the dragon girl’s posterior.

“Kyah!” The slime’s movements, though, were at least noticed by the idiot heroine. She twisted her body so she could see the blue stain on her exposed bottom.  “Gah! Hey, Green! Get off of there! I don’t remember approving any H-game Heroine CGs!”

It wasn’t like he wanted to be there either. He was desperate to break free, but it was going to be a waste of energy trying. His suspicions were right as a shadow quickly descended on him. “Hey, hold o-”

Slap!

“Ngk!” Robin ground his teeth as a thunderous impact stunned him. For an instant, his body felt flat as Elizabeth’s hand smacked her butt. He was pushed further into the tremendous scantily clad girl’s rear end. Her flesh contorted and wrapped around his shape, as though making a mold of his bug sized figure. He was surrounded by warm flesh and blue goop. “Woah!”

The next thing the miniscule servant knew, he was pulled off Brave’s butt along with the slime. He was not, however, on Brave’s hand. The hand that had slapped him was Elizabeth’s but it was Caster’s. Caster had slapped the Saber’s butt.

“Heh. Doesn’t look like it worked, did it?” smirked the Halloween themed dragon girl. She looked down at him with a condescending expression on her face. The expression was more directed towards Brave than him at least. “As if some crappily made potion from a retro game could have done anything.”

“Grr… It’s not like an early released pumpkin lover can do any better!” barked Brave, but immediately when she started to head towards Caster to grab him back, she suddenly found herself pulled back. Something had emerged from her cauldron. “Eh? Kyah! The slime is…!?”

Caster Liz covered Robin with her other hand to prevent him from seeing the failure of her other self as the slime mixed potion ended up fighting back. A certain artistic painter would’ve been invested in the spectacle, but he wasn’t. The less than 2 cm tall Archer was thankful to have been pulled away and then plucked out of the sticky slime by the Caster, but he knew he was still in hot water.

“Don’t worry about her, Grasshopper. The cookies are all done, so let’s clean you up and get you back to normal right away!” she assured.

Clean? Looking up, he saw the dragon girl’s light blue eyes darken for a brief moment. He would be glad to get the slime washed off of him, but he did not expect what Caster’s method for cleaning was going to be. “H-Hey, hold on here. Just what do you think you’r-”

What was she, a cat? Was it just the dragon girl’s animal-like instincts or was she just stupid? Instead of getting him to a sink or getting some water, the Halloween Caster’s tongue descended on him while he was in her palm. In order to wash off the, she decided to lick the slime off of his body. A long pink tongue smothered him, pressing his body into the girl’s palm. A layer of warm, viscous saliva dripped off of the giant tongue and spilled onto the miniature Servant’s face.

Lick!

The lizard-type servant’s tongue scraped over his body. He could feel the rough pink appendage rub against his skin as her hot breath bathed him in an overwhelming smell of pumpkins and chocolate. The only positive note of being pinned to her hand by the massive tongue was the fact that she was actually successful at peeling the slime off of his body.

“Bleck...” the Caster shivered at the terrible taste in her mouth. “That slime’s disgusting.”

That wasn’t the only thing that was disgusting. “Great… I’m not covered in goop any more, but now I’m coated in spit. This is even swampier than my poison.”

The tiny archer’s complaints went unheard as Caster Liz was too dense to realize she had covered him in her spit when she licked him. Her next words, though, worried him. “The only thing that tasted good was you, Matcha. A bit salty, but way better compared to that slime.”

“That’s… not funny,” Robin balked as he saw Caster Liz lick her lips. Her tongue wiped away the trace of slime left on her cheek. He recalled that dragons had been known to eat people, and the Original fell to her instincts often enough. He didn’t expect the Halloween Caster to fall for it, though. However, for some reason, the Caster girl was holding her head. Hadn’t her Original overcome her [Mental Disorder] skill? No, something about it seemed different...

It seemed it was only a brief relapse. The Caster girl changed from feeling a headache to giggling. “I’m just joking, Grasshopper. I won’t eat you. Don’t worry. I’m already done cooking, and you’re the one eating anyways.”

He doubted she was joking, but he kept silent. Moreover, from what his previous summonings’ memories had told him, Elizabeth Bathory and cooking did not go well together so her reassurance didn’t calm him down one bit. He shuddered to think what kind of monstrosity was waiting for him as she brought him in her hand to her side of the competition.

To his surprise, he was placed atop a tray of neatly baked cookies. More specifically, he had been placed atop one of the cookies. The one he was on was pumpkin shaped, or rather, a 3-dimensional pumpkin cookie. She had put him on the chocolate ‘stem’ of the pumpkin.

“What the heck? I didn’t take the missy to be able to bake,” Robin was astonished. Was Lancer the only one who didn’t have any cooking ability? He supposed their Master had actually survived Valentine’s the previous years because he only had to deal with one bad chocolate instead of 3. Then again, there were a number of Valentine’s gifts he had seen were given to the Master before that he was sure required a number of stomach medications and a trip to Nightingale and Paracelsus to fix.

“Go on. Eat up. I guarantee it’ll be good for you. These are Eli-chan’s Pumpkin Panacea Cookies,” he heard Caster’s voice call from above. 

“Eat…?” he was pleased that Caster was a lot less clumsy than Brave, but he was dumbfounded in what she wanted him to do. How was he supposed to eat a chocolate and pumpkin cookie that was the same size of the summoning room? He couldn’t refuse, though. Looking over, he saw the girl had both of her elbows on the table and her hands on her cheeks as she watched him. Her tail swished to-and-fro expectantly. “Well, there’s no helping it. If she wants to watch, I guess I’ll give it a shot.”

Using the crossbow in his hand, the Archer class servant launched a bolt into the cookie to break it up. He was surprised the amount of power put into the shot was only able to chip the surface of the pumpkin cookie. Still, this was enough for him to grab a small fragment. It was as hard as a rock but actually smelled and felt edible. Considering this was a Bathory dish, that was a miracle in its own right.

“Right-O, bottom’s up,” the chivalrous thief bit down on the cookie crumb. In an instant, his tongue was assaulted with the taste of pumpkin and sugar. His eyes widened. “Hm. It’s not half bad.”

He wasn’t frothing at the mouth, not gagging and wanting to vomit, not being groped by numerous tentacles… The shrunken servant was impressed by the successful sweet by the dangerous cook. It was tough and hard, but that was understandable given how thick and large the crumb was. As a trap master and poison user, he believed his Yew Bow wouldn’t have much effect on the number of poisons in the cookie because there weren’t any. 

“That cocky red bowman must’ve given her lessons or something. Sheesh, that cynical guy would make a better cooking instructor than an Archer,” the green archer couldn’t resist making a jab at a certain Counter Guardian.

The only issue, however, was the fact that the intended use of the cookie was not just for a meal. It was originally meant as a method to remedy his current situation. He had expected this, but the Caster class dragon girl did not.

“Hm…? That’s strange. Shouldn’t it be working?” she tilted her head. “Did I not bake it for long enough?”

“Heh. Looks like you weren’t much better. You were supposed to make a potion, not a snack,” Brave remarked over Caster’s failure. She looked beaten up, out of breath, and coated in slime. The shrunken archer was thankful he had been removed in time and was only briefly plastered to her derriere. “I guess off-season, you really aren’t all that, are you? You can’t be the center idol like that.”

“Grrr…,” Caster growled at her rival identical self. “My magic panacea cookies ARE the potion.”

“Well it sure doesn’t look like it,” taunted Brave.

The Archer of Sherwood Forest’s eye twitched seeing another argument erupt between the two bratty giants. A hand descended from above with a speed surpassing Berserker Lancelot’s fighter jet. “Oh hell no! I’m not getting caught up in this again.”

Caster Elizabeth wasn’t looking at him when she grabbed the entire pumpkin shaped cookie he was on. She was glaring at Brave wanting to prove her wrong. “See for yourself. These are bonafide super good healing cookies!”

“Mmff!”

Robin watched as Caster Eli stuffed the enormous cookie right into Brave’s mouth. He had hopped off just in time so as to not get caught up in the pair’s antics again. He had absolutely no desire to be eaten by either of the two of them or a part of the murder scene that was Caster trying to choke out Brave with her baked goods.

“That was close,” he exhaled a breath of relief upon seeing Brave swallow the entire cookie, which was remarkable in its own right considering its size, but then again, the dragon girl frequently ate things she shouldn’t and survived. Still, for him to narrowly avoid being chewed up by Brave after Caster force fed her was lucky.

What was more remarkable, however, was that Caster’s panacea was more effective than Brave gave credit for. Immediately after swallowing the enormous cookie, the RPG heroine’s injuries from fighting off the slime potion she had made started to disappear.

“Whoa. I’ve got to give her credit,” whistled Robin. “It didn’t work on me, but it was a success. Maybe she’s the most productive out of all her ridiculous variations.”

But if Caster Elizabeth was the more successful one in his eyes, who was the most dangerous? In all honesty, there was no surpassing the original.

“I’m back!” the same voice he had been hearing all day called from the doorway. The Lancer Elizabeth Bathory returned. He saw her shadow fall over him as she got closer to see her other selves fighting. “Uwah. You two didn’t get that Matcha Archer back to normal yet?”

“It’s not my fault.” “She didn't do any better!” both Elizabeths shouted in unison while pinching each other’s cheeks.

“And this is why the Center is going to be me,” smirked Lancer. She looked down to see the tray of cookies. Robin was still standing, a flat bat shaped cookie. “Sorry, Matcha. Manager (read: Master) is out right now. He’s probably trying to figure out how to fix this. You’re just going to have to wait until this is all over.”

He had expected as much, but he still did not enjoy the idea of waiting while stuck with the three ditzy dragon girls. Just when he thought it would be over because Lancer was back, he was also unnerved by the fact that the original Lancer class girl was really eyeing him. The Caster and Saber variations of her were ditzy lasses, and she was no different. However, being the original, Lancer still had all of her sadistic qualities, undiluted by Halloween Event craziness.

“Mpgh!”

And he was right. Without a single word, the original Lancer Bathory pushed him down onto the bat shaped cookie with her long pink nail. She had done it so suddenly, he didn’t even have time to brace himself. The pillar of a nail pinned him to the shortbread cookie.

“Hey, what in blazes do you think you’re doing?” Robin shouted as he was brought up along with the cookie to Elizabeth’s face. She stopped when he was level with her eye. The dragon girl’s pupil looked right through him. Something was off about it though. It was a much darker color than he was familiar with.

“Hm…? Something’s wrong here…” It wasn’t just the original Lancer’s eyes that looked different. All three of the Bathory’s suddenly had a darker color in their eyes.

“By the way, Matcha? You’re wet. What happened?” The blood countess’s voice was dreadfully loud and painful. The sonic-dragon breath was deafeningly powerful on his scale.

“I just licked him clean,” Caster admitted. “But he did taste good.”

“G-good. Really? He was a perverted grasshopper on my butt earlier, you know?” the only [Good] alignment Elizabeth in the room was slightly disgusted but even she was still interested.

“Tasted good, huh?” Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. Her sadistic and draconic nature was coming to light. “Hm… Maybe I should give it a taste.”

[Innocent Monster] was one heck of a thing. This girl was really acting like a dragon. Why in the world did dragons have a tendency to eat things they shouldn’t? From blood to rings to people, Elizabeth Bathory’s had a dangerous desire lurking inside her to consume. No doubt she would ruin someone’s plans just because of how willing she was to eat whatever she came across. And Robin’s plan of having a non-dangerous rest was ruined when Elizabeth opened her mouth wide and outstretched her tongue.

“Aa~h!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Missy, stop fooling around and just let me go already. You’re making a show of yourself in the most ridiculous way possible here!” he shouted. He hoped that the dragon girl was toying with him. She’d slip up and trip or just stop and dismiss it as a joke. Those were the typical patterns that came with the joke that was the idol Elizabeth Bathory.

But Elizabeth was actually being serious this time, he realized as he was hovered over her open maw. He had a good view of the inside of her mouth, including the darkness of her throat. She wasn’t just being the playful [Evil] servant who would accidentally get him in trouble because of her clumsiness. Her natural sadism that seeped into her charisma and her dragon instincts combined would have made her willing to toy with Robin, but another factor was in play that amplified her sadism. 

“Just who does this remind me of…?” The hunter’s intuition realized he had dealt with a similar woman before. What servant could give that ‘Extra’ bit of ‘Sadism’ to an already cruel brat like Elizabeth Bathory?

A familiar face came to the green archer’s mind when he looked closer into Elizabeth’s eyes - the same gaze as that girl who had no modicum of cuteness, the same viral glare that made him prefer dealing with even that slave driver BB over her.

“So that’s who the culp-!” the frequently toyed with Archer figured out just who was the source of all of his troubles. His sentence was cut off, though, because the blood countess’s head lurched forward. She snatched him up along with half of the bat-shaped cookie in one bite. In an instant, he found himself slammed into a pink serpent of a tongue. It was identical to the tongue of the other Elizabeth who had licked him clean earlier, but his surroundings were now far more dank and claustrophobic.

“Sweet...” a deafening echo shook Robin as her voice escaped her lips.

A viscous liquid dripped from the ceiling that was the roof of the lizard-girl’s mouth. Her saliva slobbered all over all as her tongue beat him back and forth into her teeth. White canines almost as big as he was tore the thick cookie that had come in with him into shreds. He could see the remaining scraps being worn away by the slightly acidic saliva, reminiscent of Shuten-Douji’s noble phantasm. 

“Dammit. I gotta let Master kn- Gwargh!”

The crumb sized servant was then pinned to the roof of Elizabeth’s mouth. Her tongue was larger than a Hydra and was too strong to fight. The loud, deafening smacking sounds from the dragon girl’s chewing caused his ears to ache. Her dragon’s breath didn’t just apply to her singing. Being inside her mouth, he was being assaulted by a dreadful echo, a dank odor, and a flood of saliva. The voracious girl wasn’t just eating the cookie, she was eating him and savoring it. She was squeezing every fibre of his being with her tongue, sloshing him all around her mouth, loving the taste.

“Mmm...” she hummed at the blissful taste.

“Grk… Damn this girl…. Bleck... She’s actually trying… Grk... to eat me,” Robin Hood snarled as his face was splashed with saliva and his body was flipped by Elizabeth’s tongue. She wasn’t chewing on him but she didn’t need to. He was already bite-sized enough to swallow when she was satisfied. He needed to find a way out. He knew who the cause of this nonsensical farce was. As much as his association with the purpled haired AIs and Alter Egos were his disdain, the shrunken Archer had been strung along by them often enough that he was well acquainted with each of them. Those eyes reminded him of THAT girl’s bad side. “Sorry, Missy, but I’m not going to hold back if you’re going this far.”

He knew. No, it wasn’t at all hard for him to figure out. If his Spirit Origin hadn’t had their poison-filled relationship etched into it, he doubted he’d ever figure it out, but there was one Servant that fit the bill of the one who was causing this entire mess of trouble with shrinking. That girl had earned Master’s trust long ago, but for her to pull this would not be unexpected to him in the slightest. Because he knew this, he had to hope Master would be able to figure it out as well.

Before that though, he had to escape the hungry Blood Countess. There was no choice then. To break free, he couldn’t be a friendly, obedient guy any more. He was going to have to play dirty and [Sabotage] Elizabeth’s attempt to eat him. 

The shrunken Servant was grateful he still had his weapons on him.

“My grave marker is where this arrow lands….”

He was also well aware from his brief discussions with dragon slayers like Siegfried where dragons’ weaknesses were, like the inside of their mouths.

“Tree of mourning, bare thy fangs!”

The human body was filled with poisons, and a dragon girl like Elizabeth Bathory who both cooked and ate the most bizarre things was probably filled with even worse ones.

“Yew Bow [Bow of Prayer]!”

The forest archer fired his Noble Phantasm. His last resort magic arrow launched and hit the dragon girl’s tongue. The power of his poison immediately began to take effect and spread. A grassy, poison tree grew in her mouth. It was too small to properly poison her, but his Noble Phantasm would still leave a horrible taste in her mouth. 

“Urgh… Mkyuuu… Huh?” a low whimper escaped the blood countess. Inside, the shrunken Archer felt a rumbling and a gurgling.

“Time to brace,” the Faceless King curled his body into a ball just before he was enveloped in a flood of saliva and launched out at breakneck speeds. He was spat out onto the floor with vicious power. “Urk!”

“Ptooey! Blargh...” the Lancer class girl had to tear the poison tree that had formed on her tongue. It looked like a fragment of a piece of broccoli. She tore it off without any difficulty, but she was not happy about what she had tasted. “Gross. Gross. Gross. Bleck! You said he tasted good? That was nasty! You can’t feed that dirty peasant taste to an idol!”

Despite his body feeling battered and bruised, the archer of the woods smirked. Elizabeth got what she deserved for trying to eat him. In addition, it looked like he had disrupted whatever had been influencing her, if only for a moment.

“Gotcha…,” he pumped his fist weakly.

Still, his job, he knew, wasn’t over. While the Elizabeths were paying attention to one another, he had to get away. Now was his only chance. With whatever energy he managed to keep, he restored his cloak. The Faceless King had to disappear so he could hide and recover. Then, if possible, he would go find the Master. After all, he knew who the culprit was in the end. The only Servant he knew could infect others with such a [Sadistic Constitution]...

“Damnit, that thorny Meltryllis isn’t cute at all…”