"Would you bathe with me?"....Kinda pushing your luck huh, Shannon?

I might have to write the second part of that special....I'm getting a LOT of insight into Al &Shan's characters here. Alejandro might be too good a person. No way Shannon deserves any pity or second chances! He's better than Izzy! She wouldn't have that shit at all! Keep your crocodile tears!! I mean he found her sex messages! Where did he get this patience?! 

Also very sound reasoning on Mrs. 88 year old widow with four kids. Not sure how appealing that would be or if it would workout but I applaud the logic. 

One again....*deep breath* GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, SHANNON!

Geez! You have some of the fastest turnaround I've ever seen! A little refinement and you could get a job doing this professionally! I blink and there's two new chapters.

Okay: Shannon get your shit together! What the fuck are you doing?! You're a MAJOR not a bitch in heat! Show a least the illusion of composure!

I have to wonder what's going through Jandro's head here. One heartfelt conversation where she was constantly talking over him does not a lover make. Is he falling for her whiles? I know he only agreed to make out a little and honestly he's a healthy young man so it makes a little sense but still. It still feels a little too easy and too soon. It's been less than a day since they've reunited. Shannon's been pretty transparent in what she wants and that taints her words of changing MAJOR's perspective and the future a little too. She seems like a nice and caring young woman but she'a also a brutal negotiator! Don't forget that Alejandro!

Soo ot seems a little bit convenient. At least the timing. It has me slighty suspicious Shannon is a tier 3. I'm interested in the next chapter.

Okay......after reading this, then re-reading this, then reading it again. First thoughts?....I kinda hate Shannon, but more on that later.

First I love the worldbuilding. Mentioning locations like New Orleans help flesh out the world. Establishing Old Creek as a small town by saying they only had one car rental place.

I'm loving Alejandro's family! The father's strong but caring, the mother sets up potential suitors, Lindsay's just a cutie! Good on her for getting Alejandro out of his shell....and not letting him get crushed. You really sell the strength of the MAJORS when a little girl casually out lifts her older brother. Or the inescapable grip of a young child who still had baby fat and.....did Mac Ferlan punch a kid?! It's implied Shannon is closer to Alejandro's age and he was 8 when Josh was alive and 14 so did a teenager deck a 8 year old girl?! MAJORS are aggressive but Mac Ferlan is insane!

Okay Shannon. Damn she's huge. I imagine she's even taller than Ignacio who would be the minor equivalent of 6'5. Third talest in the country! Or was it the world? Huge! Also you really nail her casual arrogance. I love the line."As naturally above him as he was above ants!" She's great, but...........You don't just get to pick up Alejandro BITCH!! YEAH you fucked up! Go eat at the non existent kids table. Alejandro shouldn't have to move for you!

So yeah I'm enjoying this!

First reaction was that this happened kind of fast considering that it's been maybe a day since they've reunited, but you've described both Alejandro and Shannon's motivations in great detail so I understand it. I do have to wonder if Shannon's influenced Alejandro's emotions a bit? Anything can happen with bonding and she's been very emotional with him and I have to believe some of that has spilled over accidentally or otherwise. I'm surprised Al's willing to be that vulnerable with her considering his past. Very interesting development and a steamy chapter to boot. I'm interested in how this continues. They do have a clear connection and attraction to each other but it would be easy for Alejandro to come down from the pleasure and emotions and feel taken advantage of afterward. This could still be dangerous.........Also I have to call her out on reading his mind!!!!! What are you doing?!?!? I don't care if your having fun sexy times in the bath! That's a huge invasion of his privacy! (not that I have any experience writing a character who did that) *innocent whistle* WAKE UP, SHANNON!!

Anyway that aside I like the insight into both MAJOR and minor psychology here with this near bonding experience. You have gotten farther than I have in that regard. Shannon actually seems to have a lot of control of her emotions considering her more violent and dominant history of relationships and I think Alejandro coped with her wild emotions rather well. I still have to wonder if Shannon's a tier 3? I know I haven't fully established what they're capable of but her influence on Alejandro's mind is impressive considering his mental barriers from his trauma. Although maybe I'm reading to much into it. It's been a tiring day for him.

Responding here so that you see it,

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Go ahead and write what you want MAJOR/minors a free story online I have no attachment to. It's just a story. I don't care what you decide to write in it's universe and that goes for anybody! I don't know if there's really enough interest for a wiki though. MAJORS were generally two to three feet taller than minors for most of their evolution if that helps.

That being said I'm continually impressed by your drive to write! I could never sustain the format for this type of random reader created storytelling!

So instead of deleting and reposting again I'll just do a second post. I'm writing this from a phone which makes posting long replies difficult. I may fix this when I get to a proper computer.

Finally writing thoughts.: You seem to excel at writing sexy high concept sci-fi stuff. My favorite being Fortune Reversal. So I say write what you like and don't feel bad about dropping a story for something else. That's what I did! Not that I don't have passion for MAJOR/minor, quite the opposite in fact. I already have way more stuff to write and written for that but sometimes you just have to do something different. Refresh the brain. That's why I like the story factory. Just throw ideas out and see what sticks. Done with Aunt Suzie. Then be done with Aunt Suzie. I've read it. I feel you could end a story like that anywhere with a decent and satisfying conclusion. Just do what you want! While I can say I personally want certain things I feel it's best you decide where to continue! I don't really have any story ideas on me know though.

Actually I could think of a story from Mayday where a microscopic father tries to reconnect with his non micro family. It would be kind of funny sad! Good luck!

I'm going to go the other way with this and say Ky isn't trying to make Les her vassal. At least not intentionally, and I only say this because of chapter 3 where Ky insulted Les to provoke her into accepting the induced ascension. Now I can't read Ky's mind and I'm sure there are purely selfish aspects to this. She has to feed her own ego and grasp the relevence and recognition she hungers for afterall, but....and this is a big BUT, everything I've read so far leads me to believe Ky cares about her sister. Even when she thought she was going to become an elite she wanted Les as a vessel to boost her self confidence. (Because being a vassal is a good thing for some reason)...So hear me out.

Les has self confidence issues, becoming an elite won't change her personality (I think. I'm sure some jackass Lesser Titan has done studies in between making up these bullshit vassal laws, but I haven't read them.) so I think Ky realizes how dependent Les is some of which Ky is to blame for. Maybe this is Ky's way of easing Les into the leadership role she destined to have....while conveniently helping Ky save face and distract her from the crippling depression of not becoming what you wished you could be. That's my not at all factually substantiated, blind assumtion!

I don't think this is a tragedy. I think it's a blessing in diguise. Over time of course Les will literally and figuratively grown into her own, but  right now? I think she still needs Ky to be in charge because she doesn't know how yet. If I'm wrong then this story's a lot darker than I thought it was. *Girl psychologically manipulates her sister into having extreme self esteem issues and becoming her slave* That's a rough story.

Good chapter!

Good for Les! She still needs to work on her self confidence, but...Yes! Good for Jakob too! That had to be even harder to do after Les ascended! Really liked the end of this one. Y'know what I didn't like. You can guess I'll wait......

PAISLEY!! *bleeping* Paisley! Like say whatever you want about Ky! (I guess that's the accepted social structure of this bullshit society) she's a "human" you have such an extreme distaste for. Sure talk about claiming her if you want. I mean Ky would turn you down and lose her rights or her life (because that's fair), but it would be worth in my book! Les on the otherhand? I'm pretty sure she hard countered your mental influence before she was even induced! Step back a little! You have no idea if she'll be a titan or mega or....I don't know (intern?) class elite or not. And masturbating in the bathroom between classes?! I had more respect for you when I thought it was drugs. 

Also Ky's totally sick! I hope she gets better soon, because I know she'd never lie about that!

Elites just have it all don't they. Strength, speed, brains,size, they probably crap gold too! And what's this bullshit about not being able to refuse vassalship? (thanks for the suffix) Shut up, Lotus of the fifth Council! You really are a (lesser) titan. "Torment Breaker" more like NERD! 

I am really curious about how Les feels about all this. Her greatest moment comes with the crushing of her sister's dreams. Will she even try to make Ky her vassal considering the whole no rights thing if Ky refuses! Even death! But if she doesn't it's been made clear that Ky's a catch apparently and at least one other elite wants her. That's a powder keg situation.

For now I hope she cuts Ky some slack. It's still raw and I'm genuinely surprised Ky hasn't lashed out more, but I think a confrontation is bound to happen. Especially as time passes and it becomes harder for Ky to maintain hope of becoming an elite. I hope this tension doesn't become a wedge between the sisters. 

These first two chapters have had great characterization for the girls. Moments like Ky assuming her future Elite status had protected her from Paisley or Les overthinking a trip to the bathroom really cement thier personalities more than just saying "Ky's charismatic and overconfident" or "Les is shy and neurotic" I like them both for different reasons. I kind of want them both to be elites even though that won't happen.

That being said: I'm guessing Les like everyone else, just because that's the most interesting outcome. It'll be fun to see if her personality changes considering her natural submissiveness and the fact she's been groomed for vassal(ship).....(hood)...(dom)?...Guessing suffixes aside, will she even be able to handle elite status? Does she even know how? And watching Ky struggle with the heartbreak of her crushed dream, she sassed her mom in the first chapter! Oh that would be the right kind of painful. Will she start to resent Les or help coach her in how an elite should act? So many possibilities! I can even imagine Les trying to be Ky's vassal anyway. That would be hilarious! So yeah that's my guess. I'd even wager Les has already shown some elite ability. How was Ky protected from Paisley's mind whatever? Why did Paisley seem more intimidated when Les interfered? What was Paisley doing in the bathroom?! Was it..............DRUGS?!?!

Enough bad jokes, and nonsense speculation. Good chapter.