After hastily wishing to be intimate with a girl, a boy is put through the ride of his life.
Even the chapters were a bit short, this one was one of the best ploty Ive read in a while. Ive seen it was from 2013 so not sure if youll get this, but if so, Id love to hear back from you! Dont know why you stopped writing but if youre still in the mood, you totally should write again. Those tags of micro/nano+unaware + vore+butt+insertion+scat arent found so often and made into a good plot. Really great little story.
From the grocery store, and back again, a Penny's tale. "Just kidding I'm not JR Tolkien and this was just a parody of The Hobbit, it has no real relation to this story at all, period. I just wanted to be clever!"
This is my second story for my Penny series. It follows the characters Ann, Jun, Lina, Peter, and Jennifer as they all get sucked into The Penny's curse. Lina is are main protagonist throughout the story. She is concisely using the pennies curse for her own amusement, and is unaware of something as well.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
No :x Please don't abandon this fantastic story concept. It is still my all time favorite, and I am so glad you finally wrote a sequel to it.
It's not being abandoned. And thank you again for your support. If anything, others being able to contribute to it, will mean more authors with differnt plot ideas will be able to increase the amount of penny stories. Yes, of course I will still write more penny stories, but hopefully others will too.
You have no idea how happy I am right now :x I thought you meant by that you would abandon the story series. I just loved the last one but the whole series, and like I said they are my all time favorite stories on here, just because they combine my favorite topics unaware, tf, insertion and vore combined with an awesome sarcastic humor and irony. I had a few tf ideas actually I wanted to tell you, maybe you could use them in another story you will write (:
- cursed into a single oatmeal flake and vored by a police horse ending in horse apples, maybe something like a boy of the family used in the story sees a police guard coming by the street and he goes outside with his oatmeal he doesnt want to eat and he asks the police guard if he could feed the horse
- cursed into an ant or tiny bug like a ladybug and vored by a bird ending in bird poop, some kid of the family finding the "insect" would do a good thing bringing the bug outside "safe" again, and a bird would come by and gulp it up. the story would continue on the digestion and that the bird poop would land on a car later or house window of the same related human/family from before, mostly a friend or family member
- cursed into a tight boy swim pants of the family kids and used later on, mostly the cursed one is a male member of the family or a best friend, which would make the whole going through even worse of being a guy being worn by a guy
- cursed into an suppository used against headaches- I really liked the toilet paper idea already
Also sayings like "You'll do find without a jerk like that who leaves you Ann, He's probably inside another girl as we speak. Just give up on him Ann, he's trash meant to be flushed down the toilet." are just so great you should use them more. I love that kind of irony. Same goes for She thought a second more. "But I can at least promise you will get one more shot at my ass though." She giggled.
I'm glad you enjoyed my second story man, and the news I would be continuing it. I'm not exactly sure how people go about adding to another series if it's moderated, I wish there was more info on the site about it. But I do hope people will contribute to it.
I've never really heard of a horse eating fetish, but basically your asking for unaware animal Vore right? I can try and work that into the next one.
The insect vore I know of and did for my first story, that said I don't really like digestion and scat based stories. There're unrealistic, and just not very interesting to me, I like stories with a finite ending. Characters that die are preferred for me. Not that I don't like gentle stories, they just have to be realistic.
I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel about writing about guy to guy unaware "Worn" fetish. It's not that I don't think I could, I just don't think I could do it properly well.
Suppositories are a popular medium on GW so I might consider it, then again it comes pretty close to scat for me. It's just a personal preference for me. Should you choose to make a scat based penny story yourself, so long as it followed the rules, and grammar was good, I'd add it to the series.
My saying's on irony, "I like them too." But I don't want to accidently over use them, or overplay them in my writing. I could use more, but there sort of hard to setup, like a joke with a punch line they require a setup. I regret the fact I didn't keep part of the ending I had, which was a simple line about Jennifer being grabbed and thrown into a cart next to a bunch of beans. I omitted it because I wanted to keep an open ending for Jennifer, the roll of toilet paper.
I had it not in mind specific as "insect vore" though ^^ If you could work that horse idea in though would be awesome (: Im a little bit confused about your statement about finite endings and that you don't like gentle stories. I think you mistaken me here. Of course the characters would die of the digestion process, also I like the idea of that changing the form, like destroying it, for example by digestion, would also kill the character and there would no change anymore in restoring it back by the penny. So if a cursed character becomes any kind of food, he still is alive, but digestion would make it just normal, well, poop. Even if you already did an ant tf, another including a bird vore would be great, but it's up to you of course. But I can understand you on the next one aha. I just saw it from the point that it would be even more of a humiliation and horrible way to stay the rest of your "life", I still would like the idea. I am a lot into humiliation and so I don't like gentle stories too, I always prefer a "unhappy" ending.
Quote me."There're unrealistic, and just not very interesting to me, I like stories with a finite ending. Characters that die are preferred for me. Not that I don't like gentle stories, they just have to be realistic."
A finite ending is, a story with a definite ending. No continuation.
Basically I don't like stories were the story never ends, like character becomes poop, travels through sewers etc, as you have pointed out, it really ends when they are "used up".
I do like Gentle stories, they just have to be done realistically.
Humiliation is fine, I find it goes well with irony in my stories. Like Jun's predicament or Alex's from my first penny story.
Yes the person transformed by the penny can be "changed" without destroying their usefulness. If an inanimate object no longer serves a useful purpose it dies. Also the Penny can only recognize the original unchanged object, so if the item is abused to a level into which the person would die if restored, then the penny fails to restore them, they are stuck. An example of this would be the cookie scene out of this story, in which the character went from dough substance to a baked air filled substance, the cookie.
But where did I say I wanted the changed characters stay "alive" forever (; Of course that's nonsense and unrealistic, but I do like digestion for example when the person becomes something very tiny for example an ant, some sort of food and such. With "going through digestion" I didn't mean they stay conscious of course, they die, and the penny would also not recognize them afterwars too like you said. That's exactly what I wanted it to be, and what I also like (: So I just was confused why you said my ideas were unrealistic. Also, I really like the idea of becoming something very tiny of food, for example a single flake of oat meal. The one great idea about it is, when he/she would prepare the meal, get cursed, and fall into the bowl of prepared oat meal, and the single flake would be among hundreds of others. There's still a chance he/she could get transfered back, but the chances are going near zero. I like this picture of being among other items looking the same like the cursed character, and never would a normal person ever realize what just happened moments before. Also, here it would be a logic way of having the character "experience" being swallowed and travel down into the stomach, because it's an object, not a living creature like an insect. And there after short time, the flake would be liquified of course, where the character died. I don't like storied too where the tf character holds its conscious mind forever. If the object or living thing is destroyed, that was it (: Also I like the idea of the fear of knowing the character would be in the oat meal bowl among hundreds of others looking the same. And when the boy appears sitting down, the fear would be awaken to end as breakfast. Then there would be a "false hope", which I always like to happen in stories, it's a sort of mind humiliation, that the boy doesn't want to eat his oat meal. And the "false hope" is really fast destroyed, when those horse stepping sounds appear from outside and the boy gets an idea of letting his oat meal "to vanish".
There is no other way of writing to you, so I just thought of leaving a message as a eview (= Is there any chance of you getting into another lucky penny story? It would be actually the best thing happening, because I guess otherwise there won't be any good unaware tf stories happening on here anymore /: I know you're working on that other story, but if you somehow find the time of getting into your old lucky penny series again, it would be a real surprise :)
You can send messages to email in GW via contact, I also have a GW skype account which I regularly check.
I have actually been contemplating writing another Penny story. Originally I had one planned a while back, but I canceled it because I felt it was too gruesome. But I have idea's for more. I'm actually thinking of altering the Penny so it activates upon a single word, rather than a sentence. "Lucky" But thats means editing the original stories, which I hesitate to do.
When 18 year-old James wakes up to find himself less than an inch tall, can he survive the onslaught of the day as he finds himself at the unaware mercy of his family members?
First time writing anything like this, constructive criticism is much appreciated.
You can use any idea you want :3 I'm not into giant(ess)/growing stories, but I will read every unaware micro story of yours. Did you plan on writing unaware vore too? Humiliation, unaware, insertion, vore, also tf, these are my favorite topics, always with a shrinking size of 1/16-1/4". My favorite male interactions are like I said before, when it's a younger brother like you did in that chapter, it was mostly already perfectly setup, age, family connection, but also best friend, or a combination. So I was a little sad you said you would end the story :3 I also liked the idea you used how the shrunken character came close to Alex, that he was in the panties, and Alex sniffed at it. I would love to see a scenario, where a boy would wear a boxer the character is in, in the scrotch area but then gets into the backside area too, and because the pants are tight he would get shoved in. I would like things too like pen anal play, with insertion, but also vore. Would you consider doing character death too? I would find it really fascinating for example, if after a very humiliating act, like you did with Alex, a brother or best friends masturbates, the shrunken character maybe gets cought in a single sperm drop, and it glides slowly down direction anus. After some scretching, he would get shoved in, could escape after a toilette part, and later would end in a cereal and gulped down, going through digestion. I'm into most of it, so not much I don't like, except growing :3 And Im also not much into aware too.
sounds like you should be writing this sort of stuff, you have it very clear what you want to read.
I'm going to try to do as many things as I can, though I've never really of doing character death but I suppose that would go along with vore and crush, so yeah I'll be doing pretty much all of what you've suggested, maybe not exactly how you stated it but I've already thought of several ways I can use these ideas, so just keep a look out and hopefully I'll produce a story that includes things that tickle your fancy.
Ive tried once and it went really bad. I'm not nativly English speaking and it results in unpleasend stories... That would be just fantastic actually (:
I see, well do what you will, you seem to have some very good ideas nonetheless.
I really enjoyed this story so far, and chapter 6 was the best in my taste. I hope to see the Alex character return and have another part in the story. For my taste the story lacks a bitte lit of plot and intruging situations, "it just happens not enough". I would had liked it for example if James would had got into serious troubles, things getting worse for him. The whole idea od unaware is this about in my opinion. Maybe Alex returns to the bed for another quick round, and sits near or on top of the place where James was left behind. I would love to see Alex maybe play around with a dildo or pen too, and James could get inserted accidentally in his bum. But so far I will follow the story, keep up the good work.
Well this story is coming to a close, however, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm going to be writing many more stories that will all most likely have different situations in it. I probably will be finishing this up in about the next chapter, but I'll be moving right along to another story that will cover different ideas. I had planned to put in some male insertion, but I'm thinking I'll leave that to a story based around a shrunken man and two unaware gays. Stick around, lots of stuff will be coming from me, and hopefully if I don't end up writing something that really peaks your interest in this story, a future one will.
Thank you for your respons. I see, I didnt know you had planed to end it in the next chapter, never mind (: And that you will write other stories too is even better. I added you a a fvaorite author. I have to say I am into both, unaware female and male, so I am always glad auhtor include both in their stories, not just females. I like the idea of a male being vored or inserted by another male, and if he's even younger, a family member, or best friend or brother, a lot, because I find the idea even mure humiliating for the shrunken character, than "just" if it was a female doing it to him.
No problem, I like the feedback. Don't worry, I'll be trying out a variety of ideas in the future and see how well I do with them. I've read a lot of other people's work and I've seen how people have responded, so I'll be sure to try writing as much as I can. I'll be having stories with just females and some with just males, unaware stories and humiliation stories, growth and shrink. I'll be trying out the lot.
thanks for taking the time to read my work, I haven't really done this before so I'm hoping I can keep afloat in this community.
And I hope you don't mind if I use some of the ideas you've mentioned in later works.
This will be an interactive story in which you, the reader can help influence what happens to Jake next! Simply leave a review with a general idea of what you'd like to see Jake put through next, don't forget to actually review though!
---
Follow Jake, a half inch tall teenager as he adjusts to his new home life at his new shrunken size. In a world where a rare few are shrunk by a virus, and in which the shrinkees are typically abandoned or put out of their misery, Jake thought he was "lucky" to be going home with his family from the hospital, however, his three older siblings, a brother and two sisters, and their mother, might not have his best interests at heart as they each deal with their little brother in a variety of ways.
Chapter 5 and 6 were really, really great, especially chapter 5. My penny for another chapter would be, of course I would love to see a vore and digestion ending somewhere, or a fatal anal vore one, combined with unaware. But I also would love to see a chapter with his brother, Hal. Maybe the girls leave him the size of a dust mite, and his brother accidentally interacts with him, and because he doesn't know he's that tiny now, he wouldn't know that he causes some unfortunate events for his dust mite brother, also because he doesn't know, there would be no chance for him making him bigger again. An accidental/unaware anal or oral vore including a fatal ending with his brother would be great. Or maybe the girls put him even in the situation, and play with Jake and Hal in that way, putting Jake maybe in his brothers unwerwear, using a glob of glue on the backsides inner middle part and glueing Jake there, so he would take some deep diving later, which could go out of controle for the girls, not knowing anymore where Jake is, or Hal leaving the house unplaned, so the grils wouldn't have a chance anymore to make Jake bigger. Or putting Jake in cereals for Hal, mostly some unfortunate events would take place, at first they wanted to just play with Jake, but then comes a phone call or theres someone on the door, and Hal fastly eats his cereals and leaves for school. Anyway, an interaction with Hal and Jake would be nice to see, especially when Hal would be unaware about giving his younger brother some hell ride.
As you mentioned doing different types of endings I would love to see one or more of these ideas:
- Jake dies in an unaware way to the person causing his death, for example the girls shrink him to ant/flea size again and put him into the cereals of his brother Hal, whos again unware about the torture taking place of his brother. Jake, like in the movie honey I shrunk the kids, swimming helpless inside a giant cheerio, and soon would book a one way ticket down his brothers digestive tract.
- Jake gets anal vored by his brother in an unawre way, the girls glueing him inside the back area of his brothers tight boxers, or on the middle of the toilet paper, so when Hal would use the bathroom and wipe himself, Jake would be wiped deeply inside his brothers anus. Hal would later the day use the bathroom again, and some bowl movements of his brother would causing the last horrors in Jakes life.
- the girls would put Jake inside a small medicine capsular, they empty before, onside side is transparent. They would put the capsular inside a cruel situation, where it would be swallowed by an unarware person, for exmple Hal
- the girls would call Jakes best school friend to come by, telling some lie about Jake wanted to learn for the upcoming biology exam, while the friend waits, the girls would tell him Jake would arrive soon and hes just shortly gone for the store to by some snacks. the girls would give Jakes friend a dip with chips to eat in the while or a drink, where Jake was placed in before. Jake would be consumed by his best friend learn in a practical way how the digestive tract works from inside view.
As far as I enjoyed this story, I have to admit my frustration and disappointment towards you as an author. Don't get me wrong, this story seems to be great, and I will rate it 10 points, but it mostly ever will finished, like all your other great stories. You seem to write just to the best parts of a story, include really great cliffhangers, and than abandon the story, and begin a new one. So I hope I am just wrong on this, and of course I so damn would love to see this continue. There are older stories of you where I would say the same, but I dont want to begin a talk of ping pong. You should focus on one story, and finish it, then go to another. Im sure Im not alone on this who things that way. Anyway, about this story, and what I would like to see how it goes:
- Im a hugh fan of anal insertion, so the next coming chapters seem to be awesome already
- an idea I got was, maybe he suddenly shrinks the moment he comes into contact with his sisters anus. She wouldnt be unaware about this though. Maybe farts of her causes the guy to shrink every time.
- so he would get shrink to the size of a rice corn or lint and gets lost deep inside his sisters rectum. She would think of you jumped out just before you got inserted and would be unaware about what happened to you.
- at some point his sister would need to use the bathroom, which end in fatality
A young Japanese genius falls foul of his own ingenuity when his shrinking device renders him a few millimeters tall and at the mercy of his unaware siblings. Will he get their attention? Will he be restored to his original size? Will he ever publish his paper? Read and find out.
I was reminded that I hadn't fixed this, so I sorted it out. The full version is back!
Wow, just wow... This by far is one of the best unaware shrinking stories Ive read in a while. I had seen this story since it was published but I didnt give it a try, until today. Honestly at first back in August I thought it would be one of these ordinary normal stories, which tend to be posted on here now too many times. I have to say Im just into unaware shrinking with sizes between 1/32" and 1/4" (dust mite size to ant size) and transformation, and these are so rare to find. Especially unaware stories seem to be dieing out. And it's really frustrating for me, and I guess for lots of other people on here too.
A good unaware shrinking storie for me starts with the shrinking size, which has to be at least ant size, otherwise it's just not plausibel and authentic unaware. Then of course humiliation has to be a big factor, because if it's true unaware, the shrunken guy should go through like hell, and things should get worse and worse, mostly because all the people around him arent aware of his presence, and what they to do him.
Im a big fan of insertion, oral and anal vore, ironic and sarcastic events, also digestion. The idea of what you did in chapter 7 and 8 was so awesome, I think I didnt read it before somewhere. It would have made a great ending chapter too, if his sister would have used the jar for a stool sample.
The all was great forplay and especially by beginning with this sentence "She won’t mind us using it, I expect she wanted to put a plant in here or something.” I knew it would become great. This was really great irony and just an amazing plot twist. Also by his ant size the jar would be so tall and hugh, the picture was just amazing, especialy about what happened in chapter 8. How hi hiter slowly would turn the jar around her butt and pressing it against her underside, how her public hair would press against the opening, the whole picture was just amazing.
I have to say you are already oe of my favorite auhtors now on here. Your writing style is perfect, you do POV switches, telling the same event from the shrunken charactr and the normal ones, which I really like to see in an unaware story. You do such a great job with details. Also, honestly and sadly, I have to say, lots of authors on here arent really capable to write proper English, and Im not even talking about te grammar, no. Lots of "authors" seem to be driffeen just out of sex and you can easily see how they are literally jerking off just by writing their "stories". You can see it's a bad story already if it has lots of good keywords set, but then the first chapter is just 300-600 words long or so. Also these bad authors always begin the sentences with the same words, like "Mike was frightend. Mike goes to the table. Then he sees her. BOOM BOOM BOOM Mikes thinks oh no." (; They also always jump around the tensens, it's just really frustrating reading something like that.
Your work is totally different from this, and Im already thankful I read your story. I really, really, enjoyed reading it so far. As like I said im mostly into unaware, I hope for an unaware ending chapter too. I saw you havent selected vore as a keyword, so I guess you didnt want to do a vore ending I guess?
Im unsure of how things could happen from where he is right now, back in the jar, which one of his sisters being aware, and the other unaware, and thinking of him as a tiny ant. Actually I have to say Im also a hugh fan of of partial unaware and aware plots, where one person is aware, like here one of his sisters, and she trys to help, putting him "somewhere safe", but things easily fast get out of controle, because of the others, unaware people. And if it gets like this, like you did, that the "safe place", the aware person put the tiny character into, becomes the "worst places on earth to be in", it's just so perfect, I jut love plot going like this, and they adly happen to rarly.
Maybe Mikas doctor called in that she would need to deliver a stool probe too for her routine medical exermination, and Mika would come back using the jar again. She already had forgotten about the "tiny ant" in it, and just takes it with her to the doctors place, where he would use it "again", on the toilett. Before she would notice the whole in the lid and would replace the lid with another from the kitchen. That one idea I thought of having a gread unaware ending. Later on the other sister would be like where did the jar go and Mika would tell her by "oh I took my jar, ..." and there would be some unpleasant convseration.
There could be other ending ideas too, that someone else in the family uses the jar for something else. Or another plot where he ends by unaware anal insertion. I tried to let oral vore out of idea, because you didnt put in in the keywords, otherwise an unaware vore ending would be grea too of course.
Anyway. I really hope this wont be your last unaware shrinking story. I hope to see at least one other by you no :) You just have to do that. Especially because unaware shrinking, and transformation too, at this "nano" sizes are really, really rarly these days. Thank you again for writing sir, you did an amazing job.
Whoa. Big response. First up, allow me to express my sincere thanks for your review! I read it the day you posted, perhaps three times, and am still so so happy. Secondly, I want to apologise for being so slow to reply. I wanted to write a proper response, so I had to wait until I had some free time.
I too find this kind of size to be the best, especially as a big unaware fan. When someone says that a character is an inch or two tall and yet no-one sees them... It ruins the immersion a little for me. I've tried to make sure any objects I mention or comparisons I make actually make sense at the scale involved. I've also tried to get both the pure unaware stuff, as well as the "one aware, one unaware" arrangement that we've seen develop. I'd love to do something where the protagonist is placed in a bad place by someone aware, but I have a hard time believing any non-psychotic people would do such a thing. Thus I reached a comprimise with the Yui-bug-stocking scenario, and more recently in the last chapter.
As for vore, I didn't tick it because when I started the story, I had a single ending in mind. The way I see it, vore is final. Our hero isn't given any special resistance or toughness over what would normally be given to small objects in a large world, so being digested would be a death sentence. However, since I'm now going with many "forks" and endings, it's possible. I wasn't sure where it could go at first, but I've come up with an alternate plot for this chapter that will allow it. I'll probably add that after a few of the end-endings (? lol) are done.
I must say, I'm actually quite worried about writing and publishing the few endings I have in mind right now. I worry they might be too tame for this crowd, and even to fit the story so far.
Unaware anal insertion is another tricky one, just because people don't often put things into their anus. That means that such a situation would seem kinda contrived. I have one idea for how to make it work, but it might different to what people hope for. If you want to give me any specific ideas without feeling like you're spoilering, feel free to drop me an email. Either way, I'll do my best to make something thrilling and exciting for everyone.
I've not thought about my next story just yet, because I feel like this one is only maybe 60-70% finished. Once it has a few endings and a few alternate scenes, then I'll set about coming up with something new. I feel like I could use the same universe which is good, and if the characters are popular enough I could do a "sequel" or such. I really have no idea what form any future stories will take though. I am yours to mold! ^^
Thank you once again for reading, and for taking the time to write. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on subsequent parts of the story and any other writings I do in the future. All the best!
Thank you.
Hello (: I sent you a mail the day before, hope you got it? Im not sure if this really works on here. If you didnt just leave your mail address here or so.
Hi, sorry for the wait. Just writing a reply to your mail now. [:
Best plot chapter Ive read in years on this site, also best ending chapter. Thank you so much for writing this. I never had so much fun reading on this site for a long time. I would give 20/20 if I could :3 Also I look forward with so much joy now for the other alternative endings. Auhtors should do it more often, because alternative endings mostly give everyone an enjoyable ending to a story.
Im really really glad you enjoyed the chapter so much. I spent quite a long time going back and forth through it makibg sure it flowed properly and was descriptive enough. Hopefully I got the right mix of humiliation and misfortune, and kept the whole chain of events believable. Some people might be confused about the bidet toilet, theyre very common over here.
Not sure when Ill write the next. I want to have a little relax to let the creativity in me rechaege, so maybe towards the weekend.
I wrote this comment on a bumpy subway train, so sorry for typos.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
toku
Damn, thank you so much for this chapter, the ones before actually too aha :3 And your kind words at the end <3 I read that other review and I am glad there are other people out there who, like myself, do see your great potential, because you write... believable stories!!! To all these nonense und unrealistic stories and authors out there, calleng there work "unaware" should feel ashamed and learn from good examples like this story. I hope youre ok man, and that everything works out good.
it was a peaceful day for the occupants at the local pool until a strange phenomenon shrinks all the people down to les than 1/4 an inch. problems really start to get serious when a family of young girls arrive for some swimming.
yes, the characters are practically the same from "tales of a shrinking sister".
I never would like one of them "go out the natural way" and survive, because that would be totally illogical and unrealistic, I am no fan of unrealistic scenarios (= Short passage into the small intestine is just a matter of minutes until they would dissolve, simple as that. They wouldnt make it longer than a few minutes at their size until getting turned into a lump of bones. I would like seeing more ironic twists too, some sarcastic writing style, adding lots of more humiliation. For example just after being pumped into the small intestine, it would "welcome" the two with its foulest presence, and John would be like "may... maybe I was wro...", and at that moment he would gag and vomit his own stomach content onto the small intestines "floor". Also it wouldnt be a passage at all, it would be a hell short trip :3
Hey :) Actually I didnt notice this story before, because the two first chapters were a little bit, well, hectic written for my part, lots of mistakes and yeah. But I thought giving it a 2nd try and this chapter went out really well, much better than I had expected. I am mostly into unaware shrinking and oral and anal vore, insertion, digestion, humiliation, irony and sarcastic writing style, "bad luck" evetns and charater death. I reall enjoyed the whole idea of them being swallowd and arrive in an emtpy stomach, just having some luquids left in it from earlier digestion. I always liked the idea of a plot where a swallowed characters wouldnt be digested by the stomach, but by the small intestine. So if I could wish for something to happen for the next part, this would be it. Most people dont know the small intestine actually is a much more digestive powerhouse than the stomach, because it doesnt digest by acid, but by enzymes and alkaline liquids. And it mist be a much more hellish experience than being "just" in a stomach. Maybe you could write it out that John somehow, because he doesnt know how digestion works, trys to give hope by telling they could have chances to go out the "natural" way and it would be some luck they weren digested by the stomach and now have chances of joining the small intestine, and the moment they would be pumped through the stomach exit, they would realize how wrong he is, because the moment they are on the other side, the stomach shuts tight again, the air would be thousand times worse than in the stomach, much more humid, maybe they would fell face down into the small intestine and would be like "maybe it wasnt such a good idea to go this wa..." and suddenly a wave of rush would send them much more way down the small intestine, no way of returning going back to the stomach exit. And small intestine digestion would kick in a few moments later, giving them the hellish experience of getting liqified while they are still fully conscious. A tip, you should never write a chapter in a browser window. Always write it in Word, Wordpad, or use Google Drive writing tool, where it would be always synced and saved. Then copy it over here.
thanks for giving me another shot, i'm trying a new writing method. Your suggesstion is funny because that's kind of exactly what the next chapter is going to be. Although i am still trying to consider whether i should let one of them live to "go out the natural way" but writing that would be a little difficult. i actually knew the functions of the intestines when writing this and don't worry it won't be a pleasant passage. anyway, thankyou again for your feedback and suggestion it is much appreciated.
He just cant stop thinking about her and her greatest Asset. Through a string of unique events, he gets his wish, but the ending is not what he expected.
Really liked the plot so far. The whole shrinking pill, how that guy wants one and doesnt really care about the antidote/what could go wrong, totally being ignorant/stupid, is really great. Especially liked the idea of Kristy planing to never tell anyone about his maybe disapperance if that happens. Looking forward into this story now (:
Thank You! I put a lot of thought into this one and i tried to cover any plot holes!
