Dont want to sound like talking other people down, but please just ignore everything what benja said ... Unaware should stay unaware, especialy because there are so rare good unaware stories. It's also always so annoying if people try to talk auhtors to quit unaware writing, just sigh.

Totally in love with the plot :') I still hope youll could do an unfortunate ending, I know you said you didnt want to. Maybe you can do two endings, one "happy ending" and one not? Maybe one where he ends as bird poop haha :x I also had another idea for the fly. Maybe there could be a chapter with a police horse patrole, and him ending near one of the horses rear ends when it's lift its tail, could also be en ending idea, where one of the two horses says there is a pesky fly around his rear really bothering him and lifting its tail doesnt swish it away, and he asks his horse friend to deal with it, which does so in using his mouth to snap/lick for it and swallowing the fly. The irony would be, that the fly would end as horse manure.

You should take a book in your hands and compare your writing style with someone who knows how to write and narrate. Stories mostly never are in simple present tense but in past tense. Also it's really bad if 99,999% of your stories sentences begin with the same word or like "person a ...", "person b...". This is more like a script but nothing like a story.

This looks really promising so far :) Though Im mostly just into unaware, and it's not under the story tags :/ Maybe you can still put some unaware things into there, not knowing what you had in mind. I really liked this part: “Lara?” He seemed to have caught her off guard with the comment. “I couldn’t understand the stupid thing she was talking about with Python’s Theory or something to do with triangles.”“The Pythagorean Theorem,” Tommy corrected, scratching the back of his head.“Yeah, whatever,” Cat said. She finished her Coke in several long gulps. “Ahhh,” she sighed, rubbed her stomach. “Well, see you later Tommy –” She burped and covered her mouth, her face flushing red with embarrassment. “Too much soda in one go, I guess,” she said and giggled. “Yeah,” Tommy said, eyeing her gurgling tummy. “Well, see you later.” :p Great irony. I really love unaware combined with ironic and sarcastic twists, works so much better together. A great example was of your last story, where the mean protagonist booked a one way trip through Lexis digestive tract herself. I love things like, where a micro lands in a onion dip or glass of liquid, full of rage not reallizing what might happen in a short bit, and then his/her anger/confusion suddenly is disrubted by a loud gurling noise, the character suddenly froze in fear looking up, and a tummy is blocking the heavens, and a giant standing there speaking things like "man Im starving", or "oops, did my stomach learn to speak or something",  or a burp suddenly appears instead and the giant saying something like "eww gross, my digestive isnt that geat lately, also took a nasty dump before" mostly in a conversation with another person, and having a remark of she/him shouldnt eat that much junk food. A great example this this scenario also was your idea of Lexi saying "hope this will help with my digestion" and lifting up the glass. I also would like for example an unaware vore, where one character, maybe even the mean character of the story who shrunk people, ended in a drink or onion dip where Tommy would eat from and unknowingly would send the bad guy of the story to a one wy trip through his bowls. Also am already happy to hear youre planing more stories and a Halloween one too :))

I dont know if you take requests of wishes, but I think it would make an awesome irony and mind twist, if one of Tommys friends (or the bad guy in the end) get shrunk and put /land in a drink/cereal/onion dip of Tommy himself to swallow unknowingly, and maybe even make some jokes about it like releasing a burp or talking to another person about his digestion making funny noises and that he hes a little bit gasy latly, or that he has to visit the toilet shortly. I always thought these kind of talk the micro has to listen are a great way of irony and sarcasm to put into the plot, like the micro has to listen to them talk about the giant digestion while in a few moments he/she would experience it first person, also making them shiver and sending an eww/gross like feeling through them, already imagining how horrible it would be or thinking about that in 24h hours the only things left of them would be a skeleton, bones and hair to get flushed down the toilet, and the person not even know what he/she did to them. Also hope so that Tommy surives :) If it doesnt fit in this story, maybe in a future one.

Not much to review because it's a build up chapter, but I liked the ending :) Also I like the Lexi character. I would had liked it even more if she had used the dildo in her back instead the front ^^

Great way of plot telling as always!! It went different as what I had expected. But this is not much critism, I just dont like "hard vore" what I call it, with lots of food envolved. My favorite vore is always unharmed vore without any chewing, and a medium of liquid like a soda or glass of water/coke, a cereal, onion dip and so on. Im into stuffing too. I like flat tummies more :3 Also I find it more interesting if the stomach isnt much filled with food for the micro to be in. I imagine it more of a giant empty cave, with slimy walls forming digestive drops from the walls and roof. The vore part was really short, I like it more if it's expended especially the part in front of the mouth. Things like the unaware person speaks with someone else, the micro isnt shoved in with the first bite, he/she fell off again and so on. I like the idea of the micro thinking they were saved but then it's all false hope. I love false hope scenarios, also including like "did she/he see me?" "yes yes it's me!! I'm so glad you...", and in mid sentence cut off and the giant just releasing a burp and never noticed the tiny dot, but the micro just thought she/he did, and was just looking "through" the food. What's so awesome is you're plaing to add in a way quicked cycle :)) Thats awesome!! I cant wait for how it continues :)) It's a real killer to wait a few days you know :/ I also liked the ending Tommy not really interesting in the case it seemed lol, and that hes more driven by his teenager boy hormons. I'm so sad you sad you wont include male vore, even if it's just a 2path plot not including 100% of it for him, it would fit so damn great now in here, that Tommy is more interested in his new gf than in the case and is neglecting his friends even. It would be a really ironic and sarcastic twist, that Tommy would gulp down one of his friends and not even knowing about it. Hope for the next chapter already, even if it's tomorrow, maybe youre able to publish it sooner :)) Thanks again for writing <3

Awh it's fine :) And even if it's not happening in this story, I hope for Tommy to gulp down one of his friends unawarely in another story maybe :3 And aw :( I hoped for the Halloween story would have lots of it, it always works great with a Halloween plot. Sadly I tried before and never got into writing, because it's really stressful for me. I cant concentrate longer than a few lines, and also English isnt my main language. Yeah :( But I got another idea maybe this one will agree, would be nice hearing back what you think. What if Tommy is indirectly responsable for one of his friends, maybe even close friends who were also active in the club, book a one way trip through a girls bowls. It could happen, that Tommy helps preparing some food like an onion dip and accidentally toses his micro friend inside or fall inside and his new gf eates from it. Tommy would be totally clueless and also ironically the reason for one of his best friends to get swallowed. It would work together with the micro trying to get the attention from Tommy, who wouldnt notice the micro, but his actions causes the micro to fall inside the bowl or glass. This would work well together with the idea of Tommys hormons blocking everything else, and especially his friends, and he's just interesting in his new girl. Another idea could be, that his new gf would tell at some point, that theres a tiny ant in her food, and Tommy would just totally blinded by hormones not realize that it's maybe not an insect at all, and would just respons with something like, insects give good protein, as an ironic remark. Or his gf could be like theres an ant (somewhere around) and wants Tommy to exterminate it, which he does by roling up a newspaper and smashing the "bug".

What do you think of my ideas, you dont like them? I thought they would fit so well and also think are really hot to think about, especially the condom one, or the anal/vaginal play while a micro was put there before, and Tommy is totally unaware. Damn it's just coming Wednesday :o

Ahh!! Awesome chapter <3 I loved the beginning and the ending, the beginning was really hot to read, and the ending was really interesting and a mind twist. So Zack knew about the shrink ray all along, and he was one of the killers too? Both he and Lexi? I really hope Tommy and Autumn survive, please :3 I would love to read a whole story about them, and bad accidents happen mostly caused unknowingly by Tommy, which would be so damn ironic because he was part of the club to protect people, and know his accidental actions would cause some bad luck, especially for his next friends. So I guess Simon will get to know what a one way trip down Lexis digestive tract looks like :3 Really hope youll be able to write out the next chapter soon, even if you wrote beforey youre really busy this week. Awesome plot twist, and I already think this is your best story so far.